Pregnant after IF
MKLEWIS2010
member
need to vent
MKLEWIS2010
member
My MIL is coming to our house for a surprise visit tonight ( I already had plans for my nieces to come) regardless as soon as my DH told her I was pregnant she said make sure she doesnt drink. She did know of the fertility treatments and everything. I cant deal with someone telling me things 1. I already know and 2. why would she think I would do something to jeopardize my pregnancy when I tried so hard to get pregnant. It drives me crazy that people always want to tell you what to do and not to do. First of all I feel like I know way more about my body and the process of getting pregnant and the reasons for losses, etc than most other people. People who dont have fertility issues or getting pregnant by breathing are usually in my opinion somewhat clueless as to how the body functions. I am not looking forward to her visit because the last thing i need right now is someone telling me anything when I am pretty sure I know more about this than they do. I am already nervous enough and doing everything I can and I know if "God Forbid" something happens it wouldnt be because of something I did or did not do. And the crazy thing is for the most part we have a good relationship. Do any of you guys feel the same or am I being petty?
Me - 32
Husband - 32
TTC #1 - since 10/16/2012
IVF#1 6/2015 BFN
FET 7/2015 - BFP
Re: need to vent
Seriously. I told her I take a lot of medications, with a very "duh" tone of voice.
It's only gotten worse. She questions everything we do and makes plans for us. Apparently I'm getting a new couch and she has already planned my babies sleeping arrangements. She has perused our registry and told DH her opinions on the items.
Thing is, we used to have a good relationship too.
GL. I hope it turns out better for you. But you aren't being petty, IMO.
Two years, two losses and three IUIs...
We are having TRIPLETS!
EDD 1/26/16
GGB born November 2015!
The only thing I can say is maybe she doesn't know what to say to someone who has struggled. I know my mother and in laws know of no one else who have struggled with fertility, so it was hard for them to ask questions or talk about it. Maybe your MIL is only saying things she knows for certain - you shouldn't drink- because she's at a loss for other things to say.
I have been told things from family that I thought were crazy but when I calmed down and thought about their perspective, it made a bit more sense. And I have gone on to explain to people that while I appreciate their input, my DH and I know way more about pregnancy and my body than most people because of our struggles and we probably understood more than they thought. That seemed to help both sides of it and would often lead to a bigger and better explanation from us on how fertility works and about our journey.
If she starts it up again tonight, try and take a deep breath and use it as a teaching moment. The better she understands your side, the less likely she'll continue to say things out of place that could upset or hurt you.