What do you do when your little one begs for a sibling? My 4-yr old son said to me out of the blue yesterday "Mommy, you have to give me a brother and a sister before I grow up." (yes, he said AND. Yikes!) I stuttered a bit and said, "Uh... we're working on it, kiddo..." and fought back tears... The last thing I want to do is traumatize the poor kid by crying when he asks for a sibling! But a part of me can't help feeling overwrought with guilt. Like I'm failing him somehow by not being able to conceive... and if the RE can't help us, if the IUI(s) don't work, will he be hurt and disappointed and lonely? How will I tell him he's not going to get a brother or sister if it comes to that? It's not his fault of course, but the added pressure of him wanting another child in the family as much as we do is almost unbearable sometimes.
Oh, listen to me being such a negative nancy! I'm usually not like this - just feeling a little more fragile than usual today. Sorry!
Re: When Kiddo #1 begs for a sibling...
TBH, I deflect these convos quickly because I do blame L for not being able to have a sibling. I joke on here that L broke me. And while I don't tell her that, it is always in the back of my head and I don't want that to come out when she asks.
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
I'm curious about your background, and why you believe L had something to do with your difficulty TTC a #2. Only if you don't mind sharing, of course. Not trying to be nosy!
DS b. 7/4/2011 via c/s
TTC #2 since 1/2015
8/2015 - "unexplained IF", started Levothyroxine
9/27/15 - IUI #1 (unmedicated) - BFN
10/26/15 - IUI #2 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
11/21/15 - IUI #3 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
12/18/15 - IUI #4 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
DS b. 7/4/2011 via c/s
TTC #2 since 1/2015
8/2015 - "unexplained IF", started Levothyroxine
9/27/15 - IUI #1 (unmedicated) - BFN
10/26/15 - IUI #2 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
11/21/15 - IUI #3 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
12/18/15 - IUI #4 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
DS b. 7/4/2011 via c/s
TTC #2 since 1/2015
8/2015 - "unexplained IF", started Levothyroxine
9/27/15 - IUI #1 (unmedicated) - BFN
10/26/15 - IUI #2 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
11/21/15 - IUI #3 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
12/18/15 - IUI #4 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
Me: 41, DH: 45
DD, 6/15/2013
TTC #2 beginning January 2014
AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11
July 2014: IUI #1. Follistim + Pregnyl. 2 follicles--BFN
September 2014: IUI #2. Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone. 4(?) follicles--BFN
October 2014: IUI #3. More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone. 4 follicles--BFP! Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158. M/C 11/1/14
December 2014: IVF #1. Microdose Lupron protocol. 9R, 9M, 9F. 3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
August 2015: IVF #3. 14R, 13M, 11F. Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing. 3 normals. FET planned for 10/2015.
My Ovulation Chart
I used to tell her we are working on it, then she told our entire church that her mommy and daddy were working on getting her a sister.
TTC #2 since 6/2010
10/2012 DH diagnosed with Epilepsy
A few failed IUIs summer 2012 and 2013.
DH taking clomid and waiting to see if he needs another vericocele repair.
Hoping for a 2015 baby or babies.
Wishing, hoping, waiting.
I am sorry you are all going through these emotions too. I hope that despite all of these obstacles in our way... all of our children get to have siblings someday soon. Wishing everyone the best!
Me: 41, DH: 45
DD, 6/15/2013
TTC #2 beginning January 2014
AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11
July 2014: IUI #1. Follistim + Pregnyl. 2 follicles--BFN
September 2014: IUI #2. Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone. 4(?) follicles--BFN
October 2014: IUI #3. More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone. 4 follicles--BFP! Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158. M/C 11/1/14
December 2014: IVF #1. Microdose Lupron protocol. 9R, 9M, 9F. 3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
August 2015: IVF #3. 14R, 13M, 11F. Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing. 3 normals. FET planned for 10/2015.
My Ovulation Chart
Me: 41, DH: 45
DD, 6/15/2013
TTC #2 beginning January 2014
AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11
July 2014: IUI #1. Follistim + Pregnyl. 2 follicles--BFN
September 2014: IUI #2. Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone. 4(?) follicles--BFN
October 2014: IUI #3. More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone. 4 follicles--BFP! Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158. M/C 11/1/14
December 2014: IVF #1. Microdose Lupron protocol. 9R, 9M, 9F. 3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
August 2015: IVF #3. 14R, 13M, 11F. Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing. 3 normals. FET planned for 10/2015.
My Ovulation Chart
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
TTC #3 since June 2013
BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
Huge hugs to you all. This place is a bitch to be at.
TTC #2 since 6/2010
10/2012 DH diagnosed with Epilepsy
A few failed IUIs summer 2012 and 2013.
DH taking clomid and waiting to see if he needs another vericocele repair.
Hoping for a 2015 baby or babies.
Wishing, hoping, waiting.
I have two baby nephews and every time we leave one of them my DD says she wishes they were her brother. She has twice told daycare that I was pregnant, and used to regularly ask when God was sending her baby sister. It's so tough, but since it happens so often I've become immune - I am confident she has a really wonderful life and doesn't know what she's missing in either the good or bad sense with a sibling so it doesn't make me sad.
I think I am to the point of being OK with never having another baby for myself, but the sibling thing kills me. Over the past few years I have seen friends go through loss of parents and one loss of a spouse. Siblings, even many years spaced, are such a support to each other - I hope I can provide that for my daughter. BUT I do know a couple only children and they have their friends and their spouses family to help them through the tough parts of life, as well as their parents. I know that either way she'll be fine, we all will - I just need to focus on that more.
I hope all our kids having siblings at some point!
TTC #2 since April 2012
Year 1 - nothing
Year 2 - two m/c
Year 3 - unexplained diagnosis & 4 failed IUIs with Clomid/Letrozole
Year 4 - still unexplained & 3 failed IUIs with Follistim & Ovidral
Year 5 - trying on our own
We are just starting fertility treatments and my husband is already stressing like crazy.
I pray God plans on us having another blessing soon.
And the selfish side of me thinks that if one more person tells me to give up, or it's God's plan and God's timing, I might freak out.
This is the last thing we ever expected after having a beautiful healthy first pregnancy.
Sorry for the rant.
May God bless us all with little ones soon!!!
TTC #2 since April 2012
Year 1 - nothing
Year 2 - two m/c
Year 3 - unexplained diagnosis & 4 failed IUIs with Clomid/Letrozole
Year 4 - still unexplained & 3 failed IUIs with Follistim & Ovidral
Year 5 - trying on our own
TTC #2 since April 2012
Year 1 - nothing
Year 2 - two m/c
Year 3 - unexplained diagnosis & 4 failed IUIs with Clomid/Letrozole
Year 4 - still unexplained & 3 failed IUIs with Follistim & Ovidral
Year 5 - trying on our own
DS b. 7/4/2011 via c/s
TTC #2 since 1/2015
8/2015 - "unexplained IF", started Levothyroxine
9/27/15 - IUI #1 (unmedicated) - BFN
10/26/15 - IUI #2 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
11/21/15 - IUI #3 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
12/18/15 - IUI #4 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
TTC #2 since April 2012
Year 1 - nothing
Year 2 - two m/c
Year 3 - unexplained diagnosis & 4 failed IUIs with Clomid/Letrozole
Year 4 - still unexplained & 3 failed IUIs with Follistim & Ovidral
Year 5 - trying on our own
DS b. 7/4/2011 via c/s
TTC #2 since 1/2015
8/2015 - "unexplained IF", started Levothyroxine
9/27/15 - IUI #1 (unmedicated) - BFN
10/26/15 - IUI #2 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
11/21/15 - IUI #3 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
12/18/15 - IUI #4 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN