"Spoiling" baby

Re: "Spoiling" baby

• tasharchibald member

  August 2015

  Both my kids loved being held. I was bad with my first holding her all the time and thought it was my fault. With ds I wasn't able to do that so he was laid down a ton at first but the last 2 weeks he wants to be held constantly. I think it's simply babies preference regardless

  

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• jesicabrennan member

  August 2015

  A baby is completely helpless, it's an evolutionary method of survival, always having an adult nearby when sleeping. A lot of babies would be eaten by predators if they happily slept anywhere! You can't spoil a baby under 3 months, you can sort their sleep out later, hold them now while they're light

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• zmombie member

  August 2015

  My personal experience is as long as I lay my LO down once in awhile, she sleeps great in her bed. But I can't stand when people tell me "you hold that baby to much, lay her down, your going to spoil her." Ya damn right I will! If I want to hold my child I will.. Since when does loving my kid make me a bad mother... Sorry anyways, babies love to be held. They NEED to be held. But they do also need to learn to trust there beds and feel comfortable. When my girls went into there cribs, I would rock them to sleep, then lay them down, if they woke up (which they usually would) I would just run there belly or head and talk to them or sing, and they go back to sleep. They learned that mommy is still there if they need me, but they also get comfortable in there bed.
  Just my personal experience. I have 3 girls

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• corndogrobot member

  August 2015

  Who wouldn't rather be snuggled??
  I would.
  And if holding your baby is spoiling them, then I'm spoiling the crap out of my baby!! And loving it! They are only little once. Trust your instincts. You know your baby better than anyone. When they are 13 they won't want you around so I say snuggle up now!

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• Marinewife81 member

  August 2015

  My DS sleeps great in his bed at night but isn't great about sleeping anywhere but on me during the day. Frustrating, but I'm getting a Mei Tei tomorrow so I can get some ish done around here!

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
  

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• jmucc421 member

  August 2015

  Thanks for sharing your experience ladies!

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• beccer123 member

  August 2015

  I rocked DD every night. She's a very independent 9 yr. DS is 3 weeks. My sister just told me today "you gonna have to break him of that" break him? He's not a dog being house trained! He had a tummy ache last night so today, he wanted comfort. Now, he is sleeping like he normally does, alone in his pack and play. I don't think you can "spoil" them at this age. You do however want them to learn that they can comfort themselves and that an adult is there if needed.

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• PurpleBookmark member

  August 2015

  I don't think you can spoil them at his age. Enjoy cuddling your baby, it goes by so quickly. My older DD is almost 2 but still loves to snuggle but my DS has never liked it and pretty much would squirm away to play from like the moment he could crawl. Get those baby snuggles as much as you want.

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• VToman member

  August 2015

  Our pediatrician gave us a pamphlet that said you can't spoil a newborn baby. Also that you should hold your baby everytime they are crying AND for at least 3 hrs a day when they aren't crying. This is supposed to make the times when you're holding them when they are crying that much more soothing and reduce their fussy/purple crying time.
  
  Anyway, my LO doesn't really like to be cuddled too much so I enjoy it when I can get it.

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• mers90 member

  August 2015

  You can't spoil a baby. I held my son all day long and I rocked him until he fell asleep every time and we slept all in the same bed and he naped on our chests every day and he's an independent 5yo boy with a great bond with both mom and dad ... So I'm doing the same thing with my daughter, but I must admit that I'm a bit scared of cosleeping now so I try to take her back to her cosleeper every time, but she still sleeps better when I'm holding her.

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• eyi715 member

  August 2015

  At first I would be really stressed out about the thought of "spoiling" my baby and not so much because of me but because of her, my mom told me one day that if she gets used to my arms she would suffer when I go back to work because she would miss me alot. It would break my heart to think of her suffering so I tried my best to keep her away from my arms as much as possible until one day as I put her down to after falling as sleep she started crying my mom then walked in and said "you see she is already used to the arms" I was so upset because I knew my baby was good at staying as sleep on her own but she did have times when she wanted to be held, that and being sleep deprived I told my mom that "ot was perfectly fine if i did spoiled her that i would hold her as much as i she wanted because she is my baby and if she in fact suffered when i went back to work that i would quit my job and be with her!" At the end I could tell my mom felt sorry and I was sorry for the way I said it but I had really hit rock bottom because ever since I held my baby for the first time my main concern was to do things right for her and to not hurt her and feeling like even by conforting her I was doing wrong it really got to me. Now I tried not to worry as much and just let things happen naturally, there are days she wants to be held most of the day and other where she is happy all in her own space. Personally i have acceped that it takes time to learn how to take care of my baby and I will probably get it wrong alot but eventually I will get it right, everything will be ok. Sometimes is not that easy to be this positive but I try.

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• PurpleBookmark member

  August 2015

  eyi715 said:

  At first I would be really stressed out about the thought of "spoiling" my baby and not so much because of me but because of her, my mom told me one day that if she gets used to my arms she would suffer when I go back to work because she would miss me alot. It would break my heart to think of her suffering so I tried my best to keep her away from my arms as much as possible until one day as I put her down to after falling as sleep she started crying my mom then walked in and said "you see she is already used to the arms" I was so upset because I knew my baby was good at staying as sleep on her own but she did have times when she wanted to be held, that and being sleep deprived I told my mom that "ot was perfectly fine if i did spoiled her that i would hold her as much as i she wanted because she is my baby and if she in fact suffered when i went back to work that i would quit my job and be with her!" At the end I could tell my mom felt sorry and I was sorry for the way I said it but I had really hit rock bottom because ever since I held my baby for the first time my main concern was to do things right for her and to not hurt her and feeling like even by conforting her I was doing wrong it really got to me. Now I tried not to worry as much and just let things happen naturally, there are days she wants to be held most of the day and other where she is happy all in her own space. Personally i have acceped that it takes time to learn how to take care of my baby and I will probably get it wrong alot but eventually I will get it right, everything will be ok. Sometimes is not that easy to be this positive but I try.

  FWIW they will hold her a lot at daycare too! Obviously make sure to choose a quality provider, but most will spend a good deal of time holding and caring for your LO. That's why the ratios with infants are so low, they know that infants are pretty high needs.
  
  Hold your baby as much as you want, she will be happy to be back in your arms at the end of the day. You are her one and only mommy and you're doing a great job.

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