Positive stories

jonesl12 · August 2015

ket24 said:
No one is saying complications don't happen. No one is saying miscarriages don't happen. It's not something every woman experiences. I worry all the time. I find it incredibly frustrating that so many people here are unwilling to let us be reassured. What do care if I want to live in sunshine and rainbows? How does that affect you at all? I'm sorry for your losses. I am. It doesn't mean that I will have one. And whether I worry about it or not it will be or it won't. I think I will be leaving this group and the bump. This kind of bullying and negativity isn't healthy for me.

photo th10fpf84.gif" />

Snoflakes4eva · August 2015

ket24 said:

No one is saying complications don't happen. No one is saying miscarriages don't happen. It's not something every woman experiences. I worry all the time. I find it incredibly frustrating that so many people here are unwilling to let us be reassured. What do care if I want to live in sunshine and rainbows? How does that affect you at all? I'm sorry for your losses. I am. It doesn't mean that I will have one. And whether I worry about it or not it will be or it won't. I think I will be leaving this group and the bump. This kind of bullying and negativity isn't healthy for me.

Jules08 · August 2015

KDHB13 said:

I don't think I understand what kind of reassurance people want. Like: "I had a healthy pregnancy last time?"

Exactly, the only reassurances you are going to ever get are from your OB.

Just as some girls are all: "just because someone else had a MC, it doesn't mean I will" the same is true on the flip side: just because someone had a successful pregnancy, doesn't mean you will. The majority of us live in the real world: pregnancy is scary and risky, deal with it.

imrachellea · August 2015

...::**sneaking in**::... @Jules08 My DH is also a red head and we both BADLY wanted a red headed child. It was the one thing we were most curious about knowing about DD and we made sure to tell the nurses we wanted to know her hair color. One of the nurses, when checking my cervix, actually said "Well, I can see her hair...!" Low and behold, she was born with a head of dark BROWN hair...that has now morphed into the most gorgeous shade of auburn and I love my little red headed darling

jonesl12 · August 2015

@Jules08 and @imrachellea my husband has red hair in his beard when he grows it out I'm seriously hoping it's enough to just maybe have myself a cutie with red hair too but I'll be happy with a healthy baby regardless. I've always dreamed of a little boy or girl with red curly hair ( I have super curly hair ) * team red* lol

Jules08 · August 2015

@imrachellea Ah too funny! Sounds like she has gorgeous hair!

Have you ever had this? I've had multiple people come up to me and tell me that redheads are going extinct. Really?!

AliSummer · August 2015

I don't think I know a single woman over her mid twenties that hasn't had a miscarriage or infertility or a difficult pregnancy or an abortion or multiple issues. I've dealt with miscarriage, preeclampsia, and other health issues myself.

I don't want to hear about a perfect pregnancy, I doubt many people do. I want to hear about people who survived these issues and came out the other side. So, that if something happens to me, I'll know that I can be okay someday, just like these other strong women.

BTW - I also love cute redheads.

Snoflakes4eva · August 2015

Jules08 said:

@imrachellea Ah too funny! Sounds like she has gorgeous hair!
Have you ever had this? I've had multiple people come up to me and tell me that redheads are going extinct. Really?!

I am married to a ginger and have a ginger son. Love live redheads!

Jules08 · August 2015

Snoflakes4eva said:

Jules08 said:

@imrachellea Ah too funny! Sounds like she has gorgeous hair!
Have you ever had this? I've had multiple people come up to me and tell me that redheads are going extinct. Really?!

I am married to a ginger and have a ginger son. Love live redheads!

Yay gingers! The more the better!

MT2015MT · August 2015

I guess the reason this upset people is because your example of a positive story was "so and so got pregnant on the first try and never had a MC"

Well, that story definitely doesn't apply to me and doesn't apply to many women here. But, that doesn't mean my story isn't positive! I am a stronger, better person because of my loss! But, what you told me was that my story isn't welcomed in this thread, because it doesn't fit into a certain mold (but don't worry there's an entire board for people like you! As one commenter pointed out) None of us are upset because we WANT to be negative! Not at all! We are upset because for so many of us our stories don't fit this fantasy mold and yet so many of us are stronger, healthier, better women because of what's happened to us! That's positive! That's worth celebrating! And we LOVE sharing our stories because we find camaraderie and support in the mutual experiences, and hope that if others can do it, we can as well!

I get that you don't understand how hurtful that can be. I pray you never truly understand how hurtful that is! But I promise no one WANTS to be negative. Again, they aren't mutually exclusive.

I hope this helps explain where we're coming from, I mean this all very non-confrontationally and am simply explaining in an effort for understanding. We're all in this together! And today, my friends, we are all PREGNANT!

ktecha · August 2015

What I hear you guys saying is stories that don't involve complications or loss have no value and are not welcome here. So I am leaving.

ktecha · August 2015

You all want us to understand where you are coming from. Not a single one of you have tried to understand where we are coming from. Not trying to sugar coat it or minimize anyone's loss. Just trying to reassure each other that just because this is our first pregnancy doesn't mean it will be tragic.

mamachelsea · August 2015

RedneckMama819 said:
Wanting to have a thread where we don't discuss loss isn't dismissing anyone. There is an entire board dedicated to discussing loss. Why does loss need to be mentioned in every single thread?

No, I certainly haven't experienced any of that. But I have experienced 3 weeks of extreme anxiety worrying about all of that. And yes, some of the replies certainly did tear BabyMassie and her idea down. If people don't like a thread they should simpley scroll past it. Not rip on the author for sharing their thoughts.

Agreed! This kind of mean commenting is what drives people away from TB which is sad because it has such potential to be supportive.

My positive story is that I wanted so badly to be a mom for so long. I felt like my husband was making me wait and I was bitter about it. Finally I got off of birth control due to high blood pressure, still not really trying for a baby. In 2 months time I got a positive test and began my journey toward motherhood. I had a complicated pregnancy despite my best efforts at being healthy. I was worried, anxious and oh so nervous about giving birth. My water broke 3 WEEKS EARLY and labor began. My mother, sister snd husband were there by my side and I had the most supportive midwife guide me through the whole thing. The birth was amazing and today I enjoy my beautiful little boy. He brings so much joy to my life and I now know all the worrying wasn't necessary. Try to breathe and relax. You are in for a hell of a ride!

ktecha · August 2015

And I have never in my life met so many people willing to tear someone down who is just looking for a little reassurance and comfort that good outcomes happen.

projectminilloyd · August 2015

@BabyMassie, I get what you are saying. You are trying to help yourself avoid anxiety and worry and try to stay positive. I try my best to do that everyday. My positive story is that my mom had 3 pregnancies--my brother, 1 miscarriage before me, then me! So yes miscarriage is common, however most woman who have them can go onto have healthy pregnancies!

PeggyOlsonFTW · August 2015

loveymay · August 2015

This thread is ridiculous. The OP was asking for ppl to share stories with positive outcomes. How is that harmful? She wasn't asking for ppl to tell hher all pregnancies are perfect and result in perfect healthy babies. She was asking.g for stories to give us who are so worried some hope. Yes terrible things may still happen, but I would rather not focus 100% of my energy thinking my pregnancy will end, even though I know that's a very real possibility. Sometimes I like to read other people's experiences where they had good outcomes, this gives me hope that just maybe I will also have a good outcome.

OP, I know several people who have struggled to get pregnant and who have suffered losses. That makes me so worried that my pregnancy may end in m/c. My mom had 2 children and healthy pregnancies and no m/c. Her experience has no bearing on mine, but when I feel worried, its nice to think that while the possibility of miscarrying is there, so is the possibility of not.

campbaby76 · August 2015

I have had two mc's and I get where the OP is coming from. It gets overwhelming hearing about people's losses. That's why people put trigger warnings. Its terrifying and I've been hesitant to come back to TB because of that and the way people are ready to be offended. Maybe OP could have used different words, maybe she's not being realistic but I think she was just looking for a safe place to be excited.

myparkers7 · August 2015

This is absolutely the most ridiculous, immature conversation I have ever been a part of. I consider myself an extremely compassionate person. I like to lift people up instead of tear them down. Nothing In my life has hurt worse than 5 miscarriages! It's awful and the mourning is absolutely unrecognized, but nevertheless my situation isn't the norm and shouldn't be shoved down a pregnant woman's throat. Not to mention tearing any women down for wanting have positive reinforcement during difficult time. SERIOUSLY.... What seems more logical "I'm pregnant and scared." Says the women. "Well you know things could go horribly wrong at any time and you should just get over it and understand that crap happens! Your uterus could literally explode!" Or "I understand, it's so scary my road has been a rocky one, but today I'm thankful for what have and what I'm creating. I'm always here for you good or bad." Go ahead call me whatever the hell you want, but bitterness towards anyone doesn't change the situation ever!!!!

campbaby76 · August 2015

@myparkers7 thank you

Snoflakes4eva · August 2015

ket24 said:

And I have never in my life met so many people willing to tear someone down who is just looking for a little reassurance and comfort that good outcomes happen.

Didn't you say you were leaving?

Chola86 · August 2015

Good Morning,

I am 6 weeks pregnant and I like being positive as well. With all the hormones going wild and the worrying it's difficult (I agree it is reality) but it is hard sometimes reading all these stories. This is my first baby and I am certain that what ever is meant to happen will happen and although it is not everyone's cup of tea I pray that we become a happy family and wish that for everyone here

Jules08 · August 2015

So again, you all (out in puppies and rainbowland) want BTDT moms to come in here and say: "yep, got pregnant and had an easy pregnancy and healthy baby." I don't understand the point of starting a new thread here about that. Go to the BMBs and read the birth stories for those who have recently given birth then.

No one is "bullying" or "tearing anyone down" here, unless you call real-life experiences bullying.

dubeau97 · August 2015

I hate community forums because of posts like I this tread, but I figure since Its my first pregnancy I should join a community get some info from others, but of course this tread as one of the highest reply' s and a lot of them aren't supportive. I think I need to hear all the good stories, sad stories, stories that prepare us and make us stronger but this tread is mostly about us with too much hormones jumping the gun to reply on "ours" vs "I" and negative vs sad. Where is the love girls, where is the diversity, where is the support? If someone created this thread they need to hear some happy/ empowering stories, if you don't like the tread just proceed to the next one.

Jules08 · August 2015

dubeau97 said:

I hate community forums because of posts like I this tread, but I figure since Its my first pregnancy I should join a community get some info from others, but of course this tread as one of the highest reply' s and a lot of them aren't supportive. I think I need to hear all the good stories, sad stories, stories that prepare us and make us stronger but this tread is mostly about us with too much hormones jumping the gun to reply on "ours" vs "I" and negative vs sad. Where is the love girls, where is the diversity, where is the support? If someone created this thread they need to hear some happy/ empowering stories, if you don't like the tread just proceed to the next one.

I disagree with some of the things said and implied by a few girls here and the truth is that some of those are damn near offensive. I will not just skip past those comments. Supportive does not mean: "I need to either agree with what has been said or not comment" it means that even if I disagree with someone, or am offended by what someone says, I will still offer advice or information to them if it's ever asked.

Dmurphy10 · August 2015

When I first saw that title of this thread I thought I would be reading peoples stories about when they found out that their test was positive and how they told their DH. I really thought that was a great idea and some fun reading to distract us all from what we are all or majority worried about in these first few weeks of our pregnancies. I am pregnant for the first time and have a few friends that have experienced multiple MC's and I am not naive that this is a possible outcome for me as well. While it is important to recognize that every pregnancy has its ups and downs, it is nice to have some where to talk about the up sides of pregnancy. I do not think this thread was started/intended to offend anyone who previously had a MC, but was a place for people to share their excitement about being pregnant. Either way I wish everyone a happy, healthy pregnancy.

tavies8 · August 2015

So, I'm going down and reading all the comments. I noticed there are a lot of negative women on here in general by the comments that have been left. I am a worrier. I have worried about everything from miscarriage, ectopic and birth defects to the point where I let it consume me. I have two little girls. This will be my third child. I've never had a miscarriage, never had an ectopic and both my babies were born perfect and healthy. I have known one person in my life who has had a miscarriage. One. I think if you go looking for it, you will find all these sad pregnancy stories. But, I promise you (and I know it's hard) if you stay OFF GOOGLE you will find there are so many more positive stories with happy endings. Take care of yourself, stay healthy and take comfort in the fact that you are doing everything you possibly can to ensure a perfect little healthy beautiful baby.

TrishGbb · August 2015

This is my first pregnancy and I am new to the bump. While I have not experienced loss, it is of course a worry of mine. I can imagine miscarriage is a consuming sorrow, anger and sadness that intensifies anxiety and worry in any pregnancy that follows. I think all of us know, just by being pregnant, how out of control one feels from the moment we find out. Pregnancy is a runaway train, and we are all riding on it.

But I think it's important to remember that for those of us who are brand new to pregnancy (and the bump), we don't have any reassurance other than what we create for ourselves. We (If other newbies have an OB schedule like mine, which sucks) don't have early first trimester appointments with blood tests, hcg levels, and ultrasounds-- short of lying our way in to qualifying for that kind of specialized care or paying out of pocket for it. My OB office doesn't want to see a woman who's never had a miscarriage until 10-12wks. At which point a nurse practitioner meets with the patient, does blood work and listens for a heartbeat. IF there is no heartbeat, they do an ultrasound. Otherwise, the next appointment is 4wks later at 14-16 weeks with the OB. Two weeks after that, is the first ultrasound. I will be 5 months pregnant before my first ultrasound, if I'm "healthy".

I can imagine that if I were to experience loss, I would be highly annoyed or enraged with someone like myself complaining about being in the "assumed to be fine" club. But on my end, since we're all in this together, I'm going to be honest and say it can be hard to be an outsider to early ultrasounds, doctor reassurances and cute pictures of healthy 6 week pregnancies. I'm jealous. I want an ultrasound too dammit. I want to be reassured too dammit. Unfortunately an unnecessary ultrasound is $1000 here, so I'm just going to have to keep myself busy in land of denial and wait.

TrishGbb · August 2015

"TheBump isn't known for being all puppies and rainbows."

I did not know that the bump had this reputation. This is my first pregnancy.

kcbarbo78 · August 2015

**Removed for TOU Violation**

jsassy · August 2015

kcbarbo78 said:

**Removed for TOU Violation**

Name calling is in violation of the TOU. This is a first for me, but I am offended by your comments.

myparkers7 · August 2015

@TrishGbb and @kcbarbo78 I am so sorry that this has been your experience. I had a miscarriage in April and thought that a forum would be awesome for me because I was terrified even though I had four kiddos and several MC's I lasted about a week before I couldn't stomach the absolute disregard for human emotion. Everyone seems to think they are a genius or Hilter reincarnated. I posted on the second page last post. I will always stay positive and reassuring no matter what these people say. I just wanted you to know there are good people on here that genuinely want to help reassure anxiety!

jonesl12 · August 2015

Positive story.

Today I woke up at 4 am to use the bathroom. I realized beforehand there was no toilet paper in the master bathroom. So I went and checked the other 3 bathrooms and apparently my husband had been taking the toilet paper from them to put in the master. I thought I was doomed and would have to resort to using Kleenex or my sock.
Then I happened to check our camping bag and long behold I found a roll.
Everything turned out fine and I'm hoping to buy more today at Costco.

bumptara · August 2015

This thread has been closed to new posts due to the discussion’s shift to an unwelcoming tone.

Creating threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning and/or removal from The Bump Community.

Please note that we remove posts that do not follow our guidelines and will issue warnings to users who violate the Terms of Use.

To review our Community guidelines, please visit the The Bump Guidelines pinned at the top of this board. Thank you.

Want a personalized experience?

Positive stories

Re: Positive stories

Choose Another Board

Search Boards