Who did you have in the delivery room?

kaitlinforrest · July 2015

I will be having my first child in December. My mother passed away last July, so my aunt has stepped up and has definitely helped me feel not so "mother-less".

My question is, should I have my aunt in the delivery room? My husband is for it, I'm just not sure if I will regret not having it just him and me. Or that having my aunt will make me feel more uncomfortable than I think I will.

For those who had their mother or motherly figure, any regrets?

mimi603107 · July 2015

With my two sons, it was just my husband in the delivery room with me. I wasn't against having my mother in the room but my husband was because he wanted it to be our moment together and I respected his opinion. Now that being said, everyone has different labor experiences and you may want an extra person in the room with you now but that might change when you're in labor and in pain or vise versa. Some people like a lot of people in the room while they're laboring and some don't and you may not realize that you want more people in for support or everyone out until it's actually happening. You also might not even realize who's there when you give birth because you're concentrating on other things lol. Only you can know whether your aunt should be in the room or not. Hopefully this helps

amandarins · July 2015

I had DH only. I ended up having an emergency c section and being separated from DH and my baby. I am so happy I stood my ground and wouldn't tell anyone we were there until I was ready. If they had been there, they all would have been passing around my baby and enjoying him before I even got to touch him. I would have been very upset if that went down. But it's a personal choice, and how you best deal with a stressful situation. I don't prefer an audience, but some do.

Shiva14 · July 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss.

As pps I only had DH in the room but I think it depends on your relationship with your aunt and your DH. If you think having her there will help you, go for it. But if you're doing to make her happy or if DH is absolutely against it I would advise against it.

BlueBirdMB · July 2015

I'm sorry for your mother.

I have no children, but after seeing close family member have a room full of people present for their deliveries, I've thought about this. I am very, very close to my mom, but I would never want her in the delivery room with me. I've already made H swear that he won't look down there at any point during the delivery. I want no one but the doctors/nurses seeing that. I will have plenty of time to share my baby with my loved ones later, but it's important that the birth be a private experience between me and my husband.

HookEmNelson · July 2015

So sorry for the loss of your mother, but thankful you have an aunt that has been there for you.

For the birth of my son, I had my husband and mom in the room with me. When it came to pushing, I personally did not want anyone near me. Not because I was embarrassed or did not want to show the entire room a birth, but I needed to focus and push a baby out and have space to breathe; so both my husband and mom stayed near and kept a close watch - it's weird for me to type that out, but it's what happened. I had no problem bearing it all to the room. I was practically naked at the end with skin to skin and trying to breastfeed. This also carried over to my house..anyone that came over just saw my breast and I fed my babe. There was no time to go to another room.
In the end, it is completely up to you. The game completely changes when your actually birthing a baby. Keep up communication with your husband and y'all will make the best choice for y'all.

marikkita12 · July 2015

I don't have kids yet but I have been the helper in three births. Something to consider (and my friends found to be helpful) is to have your aunt in the room with you until it is time to push. I did a lot of reminding my friends to breathe and stay focused while dad filled out paperwork or was otherwise occupied. I stayed in the room at my friends' request and happily held a leg. Having a second person besides DH might be beneficial because it is an extra pair of hands.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense. It is 4am and I can't sleep but I'm exhausted

MrsRo731 · July 2015

Shiva14 said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. As pps I only had DH in the room but I think it depends on your relationship with your aunt and your DH. If you think having her there will help you, go for it. But if you're doing to make her happy or if DH is absolutely against it I would advise against it.

This! So sorry for the loss of your mom.

CosmoAnne1 · August 2015

I am very sorry for your loss.

My 1st: Dh,FIL,MOM,BFF and some other people. I was to drugged to care.

My 2nd: DH & sister. It happened in a few hours very fast. No time to even think.

My 3rd: DH made it to I think 8cm then got my epidural got some sleep woke up and pushed a loooooooo g time big baby 9.15lbs.

Each time was good. I wouldn't change it. But the last was the most special. We joked with my dr the whole time!

vampbride99 · August 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I don't have any children yet, but this is something I have thought about. As of right now, I want my husband and my mother to be there. My mom and I are really close, and I feel like I could use the extra support. This is, of course, coming from an inexperienced perception. I know that my feelings my change when I'm in the moment, but as of now, I'd really like both of them to be there for support.

I think that if you feel that your aunt would provide a good support system to you along with your husband, and he's not against her being there then you should let her be there with you too.

Britt428 · August 2015

My DH, Mom and MIL were all in the room when DD was born. I was a little apprehensive about having anyone in the room other than my DH but it all worked out much better than I had anticipated it would. My DH is a very nervous person so MIL and my mom really stepped up to help with anything I needed. DH was great, but mom and MIL really helped keep me calm.

GingerTurtles · August 2015

I only had FI. My mom faints at the sight of blood, so there was no question of her being in the room, even if I wanted her (we tend to have the opposite opinion on just about everything from clothing style to parenting style to politics, so it wouldn't have been helpful to have her there anyway).

little_bren · August 2015

DH was against having my mom in the room for most of my pregnancy because he wanted it to be just us. He changed his mind toward the end and I invited my mom and it ended up being a great experience and I'm so glad she was there bc it was really special. I'm not a doormat like I sound, but he felt strongly about it and I could understand where he was coming from and I'm kind of private anyway so I didn't mind. My mom is really supportive and was a calming presence so it was great to have her there.

Designermomma · August 2015

With my 1st, I was induced so I was in the delivery room 26 hours. My mom and DH were both in the room until push time. I didn't want anyone in my face and only wanted DH in the room to coach me.

With my 2nd, we almost didn't make it to the hospital in time and he popped right out the second I got to the delivery room. Not even the dr made it into the room in time let alone DH. He was still parking the car. In our dash to the hospital, we left our bag (and camera) at home (DS was 2 weeks early) so my parents had to bring it to us. Thank God for camera phones!

Sometimes your birth plan goes out the window and you just enjoy the moment and have a good story to tell. Good luck!

CrunchyMidwife · August 2015

I'm not pregnant yet either but I've thought about this as well. Me and DH will be living in Texas where as my Mom lives in Michigan so there's the chance of being early or later or anything else that could happen to not deliver when I'm supposed to. So I'm afraid she wont be there when its time.

I don't have an amazing relationship with my mother but I do want her to be there, shes never given birth naturally before so there is a small part of me that is skeptical that she wont be able to "help". All in all, I think the most people I could have around are DH, My mom, and MIL.

MrsPrice519 · August 2015

First, congratulations on your baby! I had my ds in June 2014 and you are in for the best ride of your life!

Secondly, to answer your question, I had my mom and husband in the room and I don't regret it at all. I was in labor for almost 24 hours and pushed for almost 5 hours and long story short I ended up needing a c-section. So in the end it ended up just being dh and I, but having my mom there was amazing for both me and my husband. They could take turns helping me out and I loved having the support.

Good luck and best wishes!

jrecine · August 2015

I had my DH, mommy, and my grandmother all in there with me!

My DH and Mom were at my sides while I pushed, and my grandmother prayed the rosary in chair on the side of the room! Gotta love Italian grandmas!

It was great having that support system, and it really made it very special

lovearoo · August 2015

I'm so sorry but congrats your pregnancy! Though I'm not pregnant right now, I absolutely think you should have whoever you want with you.
I've also thought about this, and I plan on having my husband and mom there for sure. My mom is the most calming, reassuring presence I have. If she wasn't available I would probably have my middle sister there as she is also a calm, collected, take charge type person. That's what you need during a time like that!

KSMcClary · August 2015

I am not at that point yet since we haven't started TTC, but I have already given a lot of thought to this. While I would love my mom and MIL to be in the room, I don't think it would go well. My mom and MIL are VERY different people. Everyone gets along nicely, but I know there is still tension. I also think my husband could easily get upset with my mom or his own mom. So with that being said, I plan to keep it just just my husband and myself.

ska8471 · August 2015

My plan is me and DH only. We live 23 hours from family, so hopefully the labor and delivery will be over by the time everyone arrives in our town. If not, then we'll just ask them to wait until we're ready for them. I want some time alone (minus the drs/nurses) with DH and baby and to have chest-to-chest time and focus on feeding baby. That would be ideal and I think everyone will respect those first few hours we want alone with no visitors.

SLGILL1978 · September 2015

No, none at all. My mom was with me. I had a c section and I was grateful that she was able to go with baby. She almost didn't make it due to the weather. My step mom was a back up but felt very uncomfortable. Lol.. she was very relived when my mom made it. My husband was deployed so otherwise it would have been them or alone. Hopefully next time around, my husband will be able to be there and it'll be just him.

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