What's Happening to Our BMB????

amargaret24 · August 2015

Question.....Well, Statement, then question.

I have been on this BMB since finding out I was pregnant at about 5.5 weeks, which puts me at practically 13 weeks on this board. I've witnessed the drama, the silly blocking of people, the threads being shut down, etc. But for the most part, it's been well maintained.

So my question is...

What is going on right now?? Why are there 2-3 gender fantasy mythbuster posts? Random symptom posts? And all from users I definitely don't recognize. I'm not saying "KEEP OUT" But it's starting to feel a little rude to me... I think most of us on here have tried to ensure this board is fun and well coordinated. But it's starting to suck and not just because certain users got banned.

I dunno what to do....but I liked this board for a long time.

cawalp · August 2015

A lot of people started getting offended by people directing them to the search feature/symptom thread and I guess it got so bad people are scared to say anything for fear of getting banned.

amargaret24 · August 2015

I guess I'll be the next one getting banned....or...I dunno. I guess I just need to put on my weeding gloves and suck it up.

Snoopylovesbelle · August 2015

The users who got banned or have not been as active were the ones that were trying to keep the BS and drive by's to a minimum. There was a reason that daily's, symptoms, check-ins were posted everyday and people were directed to them. It kept the board organized and uncluttered.
Many of us got sick of being called bully's, mean, the gestapo, etc for trying to keep it all together.

No one has stepped up to do all of those things and the BMB has become a mess of SSS, drive by's abd AW's. Which is what we all said would happen. There's no organization for the people who want to contribute etc because no one has stepped up to do it.

Also this is the third thread you have started on this topic...if you are bothered step up and do something about it instead of complaining

amargaret24 · August 2015

This is the only thread I've started about the board and what's going on. (Just double checked to make sure, can't be sure with pregnancy brain). I have been commenting on other threads as of late because I'm frustrated, but all the other threads I've started are like...HDBD n stuff.

I never thought anyone was a bully on this board but felt like other people DID have it handled, hence why I didn't feel like I needed to do much or say much. Part of the reasoning for this post was in hopes some of the folks randomly posting will read and see that they aren't following the rules. Perhaps passive aggressive, I'm not sure.

Either way, just wanted to see if other people had any input. But, I guess the answer is clear.

Snoopylovesbelle · August 2015

I'm sorry this isn't the third post you posted I got people mixed up. Sorry

There have been a lot of posts in the last few days on this topic and they all blur together

Bisho · August 2015

I've learnt to just go with the flow with all this stuff...as I figure there will always be new people posting stuff without taking the time to suss out previous threads etc? Granted, I'm not a huge contributor to this message board, but I always try to check-in and take a look from time-to-time.
I just reckon we should ignore repeat posts (and annoying gender-test ones!) and people will hopefully get the message?! If not...oh well?! Maybe my pregnancy hormones are contributing to my state of 'who really cares?' about this?! One day this message board will be a distant memory as hopefully we'll all have little babies to keep us busy instead!

Shannon76Janmom · August 2015

I do think there were snarky comments made to people who posted NEW thread topics that others didn't personally deam worthy and would inappropriately respond as though her own opinion spoke for the board community. I don't post much or comment much for that reason and I've been on here since the end of May. There were people genuinely sharing information on topics they thought others would be interested in and many of us were. However, one example I can specifically recall was someone found a great article on exercise and pregnancy and someone commented, "thanks for the PSA." If there is a topic that doesn't interest me, I don't get offended and write something rude. Just move on. There were many of us who appreciated the reminder that we needed to move more. So...I think there are a lot of us who are not "drive-bys" but have busy lives and come to read, enjoy, and try to share in the community. However, why would someone feel comfortable starting a new thread on here or even comment when the response is just unnecessary rudeness by the same negative people. Also it's actions like calling out how many times a person has not commented or posted that is ridiculous. I have enough excitement in my life than to get involved in drama that reminds me of my high school students. I will continue to come on here daily and will not let someone else make me feel like I'm not worthy because I haven't commented often enough this summer. I'm sure there are others like me who have a lot going on in their day and do what they can on here, but just because it's not as much as others doesn't mean there are not meaningful contributions. It's quality that matters in what you write.

adcc43 · August 2015

Bisho said:
I've learnt to just go with the flow with all this stuff...as I figure there will always be new people posting stuff without taking the time to suss out previous threads etc? Granted, I'm not a huge contributor to this message board, but I always try to check-in and take a look from time-to-time.
I just reckon we should ignore repeat posts (and annoying gender-test ones!) and people will hopefully get the message?! If not...oh well?! Maybe my pregnancy hormones are contributing to my state of 'who really cares?' about this?! One day this message board will be a distant memory as hopefully we'll all have little babies to keep us busy instead!

I second the comment about the pee gender test..........I could live without those posts.

laineylove78 · August 2015

It's a shame bc when the board is organized it's super helpful and easy to navigate but recently I feel like I'm paging through lots of nonsense looking for something worthwhile.

I'm not one to speak up, but in my previous BMB it was awesome, and after my DD was born it was one place that I turned to for advice and support from moms that had babies that were doing the same things as I was.

Tips on baby wearing, teething, CIO, introducing solids, BF etc. Stuff that was really helpful and useful and important.

While some of these topics are fine to browse while trying to pass the time, a million baby naming threads is crazy (esp when there is an entire baby name board) and a random thread is necessary for people to be able to throw thing out there about themselves and really get to know one another.

When DD was 6m there was a TB exodus to TCF/GBCB, we also made a FB group of about 30 pp and I'm very connected to these people across the country and in other parts of the world that I feel are genuinely my "friends" and are there to support and offer advice when needed.

Unfortunately I don't think this BMB will ever get there. People post threads instead of googling things. And people get way to offended when they told how things work.

I'll stick around, but I'm a more meaningful member elsewhere, where people use the boards more thoughtfully.

wyomama0427 · August 2015

Boom!! Tell it Snoop! How many times do we have to have this discussion???

kmcc14 · August 2015

The threads whining about J'16 being boring are getting old. It's unfair to expect a few people to make the board entertaining and organized. It has to be a group effort, or people get burnt out, annoyed, and then banned. I've seen quite a few people stepping up and making new threads to keep things moving. Obviously the nonsense and repeat threads are obnoxious, but it's not like they are anything new.

BabyRut2015 · August 2015

I was getting bored, tried to start a new thread....and got immediately shut down/trolled whatever you want to call it for "posting a repeat topic" when I started my "when will DH feel baby move" thread, which I felt was different than us feeling baby....entirely different actually. And I was hoping it'd just be a nice thread for ladies to share their experiences with that.

People moved on and answered but it was just tiring to have been harassed first.

I tried....I even look on other boards to see what good threads they have going. And I agree we're getting a lot of repeat posts and drive by posters....it's just unfortunate that it messed up the flow of everything.

This is also a sort of Laggy time for us in the 2nd trimester, we're not huge and having 3rd trimester probs, yet many of us are out of the ickiness of the 1st trimester and have a lot of out questions answered & are more knowledgeable about pregnancy in general.... so this may be partly why the board is so quiet.

All we can do is try to contribute to the liveliness and fun if we want it to pick up again.

I guess I may finally have to suck it up and learn how to gif.....

nanamp · August 2015

Can't we just report the gender posts? Aren't those technically against the guidelines? Or am I mistaken?

wyomama0427 · August 2015

I think the piece of the puzzle everyone here is missing is actual, legit COMMUNICATION. Listen to what other people say.. Respond. If everything is all about you and how you feel and what you want... Nobody will want to talk to you. Have conversations with other members..... Get to know these people.... Stop wanting everyone to focus on you all the time.

Edited to add... When having these conversations don't just skip over all of the comments and only post what's relevant to you. That's why you guys are so "bored"

babybluu · August 2015

Is it just me, or is there something going on with the random weeks threads. "17 weeks today" and then everyone comments mushy gushy stuff like they're being totally serious. Am I missing out on an inside joke??

nlwz123 · August 2015

kmcconnell22 said:

The threads whining about J'16 being boring are getting old. It's unfair to expect a few people to make the board entertaining and organized. It has to be a group effort, or people get burnt out, annoyed, and then banned. I've seen quite a few people stepping up and making new threads to keep things moving. Obviously the nonsense and repeat threads are obnoxious, but it's not like they are anything new.

I second this. You find this on EVERY board, not just here.

Bannings, obnoxious posts, WKs, etc...this is literally on every board (and actually far worse in most other places). I considered this tame before and after the couple of bannings that happened here. Bored with the threads? Create a thread. You are just as much of a contributor to the board as everyone else.

ntyravgsp · August 2015

What is going on right now - all the random drive-by users are treating this community like a pregnancy facebook news feed. It's just about them, they don't stick around to interact, and what's worse - they don't care. We've all seen at least several threads where the OP asked a question and then never came back, even if just to acknowledge that she had received relevant information.

If I had to guess, because as a PP mentioned, my opinion does not reflect all of the bmb (although I'm sure at least some will agree), the people who were more frequent users just got tired of being labelled as tyrants for trying to maintain the community - and it certainly didn't help the situation when admin came in swinging the old ban hammer without looking at the situation at all.

So yeah, this is the result. A shambles. But hey, no one's had to be banned in at least a day so that's a positive right?

nlwz123 · August 2015

ntyravgsp said:

What is going on right now - all the random drive-by users are treating this community like a pregnancy facebook news feed. It's just about them, they don't stick around to interact, and what's worse - they don't care. We've all seen at least several threads where the OP asked a question and then never came back, even if just to acknowledge that she had received relevant information. If I had to guess, because as a PP mentioned, my opinion does not reflect all of the bmb (although I'm sure at least some will agree), the people who were more frequent users just got tired of being labelled as tyrants for trying to maintain the community - and it certainly didn't help the situation when admin came in swinging the old ban hammer without looking at the situation at all. So yeah, this is the result. A shambles. But hey, no one's had to be banned in at least a day so that's a positive right?

Dude, this happens on every board.

ntyravgsp · August 2015

Dude it totally does, I see it everywhere. It isn't anything unique. The thing about here is, that's all that's happening.

andreachristine81 · August 2015

Shannon76Janmom said:
I do think there were snarky comments made to people who posted NEW thread topics that others didn't personally deam worthy and would inappropriately respond as though her own opinion spoke for the board community. I don't post much or comment much for that reason and I've been on here since the end of May. There were people genuinely sharing information on topics they thought others would be interested in and many of us were. However, one example I can specifically recall was someone found a great article on exercise and pregnancy and someone commented, "thanks for the PSA." If there is a topic that doesn't interest me, I don't get offended and write something rude. Just move on. There were many of us who appreciated the reminder that we needed to move more. So...I think there are a lot of us who are not "drive-bys" but have busy lives and come to read, enjoy, and try to share in the community. However, why would someone feel comfortable starting a new thread on here or even comment when the response is just unnecessary rudeness by the same negative people. Also it's actions like calling out how many times a person has not commented or posted that is ridiculous. I have enough excitement in my life than to get involved in drama that reminds me of my high school students. I will continue to come on here daily and will not let someone else make me feel like I'm not worthy because I haven't commented often enough this summer. I'm sure there are others like me who have a lot going on in their day and do what they can on here, but just because it's not as much as others doesn't mean there are not meaningful contributions. It's quality that matters in what you write.

I 100 percent agree with this statement. It wasn't just "direction" being given, it was RUDE and non-constructive critisism that stirred up the pot on a daily basis and I got sick of it too. I can think of five people off of the top of my head who have been banned and the boards seem better now. With fear of being banned (I am guessing), some of the ones who were also pretty snarky have seemed to tame down. I would read some of the comments on here and think there is NO WAY someone would ever say that to my face. I just can't even imagine. A lot of us FTM have concerns, questions about little things and I for one was appreciative of the constructive advice, the out of line and "mean girls" advice was unsolicited and made this board unwelcoming. We all have a common goal here... A happy and healthy nine months. Let's just try to stick with what's important

nlwz123 · August 2015

ntyravgsp said:

Dude it totally does, I see it everywhere. It isn't anything unique. The thing about here is, that's all that's happening.

Perhaps other people should make interesting threads then and try to flood them out.

ntyravgsp · August 2015

Perhaps they should, but I don't think they're interested at this point. Greener free-range pastures upstate and all.

nlwz123 · August 2015

ntyravgsp said:

Perhaps they should, but I don't think they're interested at this point. Greener free-range pastures upstate and all.

If that's true, why come on here and just complain about the posts/users all the time? Now almost half of the comments/posts is about how annoying the other half is...which is also annoying.

ntyravgsp · August 2015

I wasn't complaining about the state of the board, I was just answering the OP's question and yours. I agree that it is annoying, which is why I don't contribute much here anymore, but I don't come here with the express purpose of complaining about it.
Edit typo

ntyravgsp · August 2015

Shannon76Janmom said:
However, one example I can specifically recall was someone found a great article on exercise and pregnancy and someone commented, "thanks for the PSA."

It's common courtesy to mention in your thread title if you're making a PSA. Granted it's not a guideline, but most of the time when people start threads they are asking a question or looking for contributions. The particular thread you mentioned did neither, it was merely unsolicited advice. Great that you appreciated it but not everyone else likes opening a thread to find someone else telling them what's best, regardless of the topic.
So I guess (I think it was you who asked about this) that if there is a clique here, it's made of people who appreciate the give and take of conversations that were made here, rather than everyone just talking about themselves all the time.

jrouge12 · August 2015

Yeah it has been a little annoying lately. I really am bothered by the "I'm 16/17/18/19 weeks today!!!!!!!!!!" posts. We all are somewhere around there, this is the January 2016 board after all.

kmcc14 · August 2015

babybluu said:

Is it just me, or is there something going on with the random weeks threads. "17 weeks today" and then everyone comments mushy gushy stuff like they're being totally serious. Am I missing out on an inside joke??

Um, yeah take a look at who keeps bumping them. It's mostly people from a certain group who think they are being funny or proving a point.

Snoopylovesbelle · August 2015

Maybe everyone is just very excited to be moving up in the weeks. Everyone was very welcoming in those threads...after all that's what everyone wanted ;;)

What is the "certain" group you are referring to?

ntyravgsp · August 2015

=D> L.O.L.

Also, if it's any consolation people should stop posting on the 16w one soon, the "end of the month group" is all nearly 17w now.

SummerOH · August 2015

I made 2 pretty harmless comments and was warned for both of them by the overzealous mod, who also deleted a thread I started similar to this one, then closed the thread I started asking why my first one was deleted. This forum is too heavily moderated. Silly nonsense is tolerated but genuine conversation is not. Then when you respectfully ask why a post was removed, they close it. It's just not worth being on anymore.

bumptara · August 2015

This thread has been closed to new posts due to the discussion’s unwelcoming tone.

Creating threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning and/or removal from The Bump Community.

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To review our Community guidelines, please visit the The Bump Guidelines pinned at the top of this board. Thank you.

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