I actually thought I knew what to expect going in and I really was humbled by my first few days. I had a failed induction and then waters broke naturally the next day. I was exhausted by the time he was born and my milk didn't come in until the day after we got home. I struggled non stop with supply for 8 weeks, pumping non stop and it never increased. I worked with lactation consultants and Drs who both eventually said they were sorry and out of suggestions. So we formula fed. Not the end of the world, though at the time I shed a lot of tears feeling like a failure as a mother. My sister in law had the opposite issue and she shared some of her milk for a few months, which was some comfort.
Also don't few like you need to do it all, and if someone offers help take it. Though be clear what you need. Ask them to watch your baby for 15 minutes while you take a shower. Or drop off a meal. Them coming to visit and offer help isn't a social visit - it can literally be a lifeline in those first few hard weeks!
I had no clue how much babies could test mine and my husbands marriage. We are still head over heels in love with one another but that first year was rough.
Ditto. We never fought before we had our son. The first year, I thought we were headed for a divorce because we fought like crazy. If it happens to any of you, hang in there. After the first year, as we got used to sharing parental responsibilities, our relationship bounced right back.
I'm definitely fearing this possibility. My husband already does minimal work around the house as it is unless I specifically ask. So I'm afraid that once baby is here, there will be lots of stress and frustration, especially considering I'll be in graduate school and working. Who knows, maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised lol. I'm not holding my breath though!
I totally agree with comment about not realizing how much stuff you wouldn't need. This time around my list of must haves is extremely small.
I also didn't realize before I became a mom, just how much I would put my child's needs above my own. From small things to more important things. Like, I haven't legitimately went shopping for clothes in I don't know how long because I enjoy buying things for my son a lot more than I do for myself. Its so weird how selfless we really become.
How about how your birth plan never ever goes as planned? They always say there's a chance it won't go as you plan for it to, but no one ever really believes it until it happens. Go in with an open mind that anything can happen. My birth plan was all natural hypno birthing whenever baby wanted to come and I ended up with a failed induction with tons of drugs and a csection 4 weeks premature. Definitely wasn't the plan.
How about how your birth plan never ever goes as planned? They always say there's a chance it won't go as you plan for it to, but no one ever really believes it until it happens. Go in with an open mind that anything can happen. My birth plan was all natural hypno birthing whenever baby wanted to come and I ended up with a failed induction with tons of drugs and a csection 4 weeks premature. Definitely wasn't the plan.
I wouldn't say it "never ever goes as planned". That general stigma made me very reluctant to even have a birth plan the first time around (it's very prevalent in the media on tv and movies... Watch Knocked Up or What to Expect). I'm glad that I did make a birth plan because it made me educate myself on my options and labor/birth in general. I think people need to realize that it's a "plan" and I totally agree with what you said to still go with an open mind. I also ended up with an induction (water broke 3 weeks early and contractions never started) and pitocin wasn't in my plan. However, having a birth plan and discussing it with my midwife was very empowering and helped me decide what I wanted to strive for. I don't say this to dismiss your comment at all, just to encourage others to go ahead and plan away. There is nothing wrong with an optimistic (although not unrealistic) birth plan. Birth is pretty much always full of surprises but that doesn't mean you won't meet at least some of your goals. Nothing in life is perfect (but that doesn't mean it's not beautiful) --- sorry for the cheesy hormonal sap here at the end
1. I didn't know that no matter how grossed out I was about vomit--I would let my own kid puke all over me and only cared about him and how miserable he felt.
2. That sometimes moms need breaks--whether they are a newborn or a toddler, sometimes you just need to take a few minutes to yourself to be a better mom.
3. That you can't wait for them to hit each milestone--rolling over, sitting up, crawling, pulling up, walking, talking etc---but then you realize it all goes so fast and you just want the days back when they can lay in your arms in a milk coma.
This times a million! I honestly could not WAIT for him to do new stuff. People kept saying that someday I'd wish he was teeny and I'd regret wishing away the first few months, but it was irritating to hear and I didn't believe it. I just wanted to see him crawl and walk and hear words come out of his mouth! But now I see pictures of him with all of his chunky newborn fat and his huge grin and I just want to cry because he was so freaking precious and I miss it. He's still freaking precious, of course, and I love seeing him learn new stuff and hearing him talk and seeing him run, but there's just something sweet (and sooooo much easier) about a teeny immobile baby.
This is kind of impossible to avoid, though. It's just one of those things that I think is really hard to understand until you experience it. I'm sure in a year I'll look back at right now and think wistfully even though at the moment I just want him to be able to speak in sentences and tell me what he wants. So yeah. Not much you can do about it, I think.
Re: Just for fun
I actually thought I knew what to expect going in and I really was humbled by my first few days. I had a failed induction and then waters broke naturally the next day. I was exhausted by the time he was born and my milk didn't come in until the day after we got home. I struggled non stop with supply for 8 weeks, pumping non stop and it never increased. I worked with lactation consultants and Drs who both eventually said they were sorry and out of suggestions. So we formula fed. Not the end of the world, though at the time I shed a lot of tears feeling like a failure as a mother. My sister in law had the opposite issue and she shared some of her milk for a few months, which was some comfort.
Also don't few like you need to do it all, and if someone offers help take it. Though be clear what you need. Ask them to watch your baby for 15 minutes while you take a shower. Or drop off a meal. Them coming to visit and offer help isn't a social visit - it can literally be a lifeline in those first few hard weeks!
I also didn't realize before I became a mom, just how much I would put my child's needs above my own. From small things to more important things. Like, I haven't legitimately went shopping for clothes in I don't know how long because I enjoy buying things for my son a lot more than I do for myself. Its so weird how selfless we really become.
My birth plan was all natural hypno birthing whenever baby wanted to come and I ended up with a failed induction with tons of drugs and a csection 4 weeks premature. Definitely wasn't the plan.
This is kind of impossible to avoid, though. It's just one of those things that I think is really hard to understand until you experience it. I'm sure in a year I'll look back at right now and think wistfully even though at the moment I just want him to be able to speak in sentences and tell me what he wants. So yeah. Not much you can do about it, I think.