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January 2016 Moms
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Single parents

breanna935breanna935 member
in January 2016 Moms
I'm a FTM , not to mention I'm only 22 years old . I have a decent job and I'm in school , but I honestly do forget that I'm pregnant . I know babies change your life drastically , but I'll be by myself doing this mother thing . The father , who was my boyfriend until I found out another young lady is pregnant by him , isn't ready in my opinion to have not only one but two new borns . She's only a few weeks ahead of me so we'll be having them around the same time . I guess my question for everybody is how do you deal being alone during the pregnancy? I know it's sad and I've always been very independent since I was 16 , but it's different now my emotions are running me ragged and I just want somebody else there to experience what I'm experiencing .
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Re: Single parents

  • tawriebootawrieboo member
    Hey I'm sorry for what happened but I want to congratulate you on being so strong to take on the role of being a single parent. I'm a full time mom myself. 3 years ago I gave birth to my daughter. I was with her father for 5 years. At three months pregnant I came home from a doctors appointment and all his stuff was gone from our apartment. His phone was turned off. I had no idea what was going on. Three days later he calls from a private number and says he is not ready to be a dad so he moved to south Carolina With his mom. I live in New York. 4 months after he left I get this call from a random number from this girl saying she was now pregnant with his baby. My life completely sped out of control. I had so many emotions and questions. I was mad at myself for having a baby with him. Friends try to cheer you up but if they never been in your shoes they just don't know what it feels like. I tried going to counseling it helped for a little but when I was by myself i would get upset all over again. I found that making a bonding time every day with just me and my baby started to make things better and I got more excited about this blessing that I had instead of focused on all the struggles I think I might of had being by myself when she came. I would just talk. Talk about my work day, a show on t.v, sing a song, look up how I wanted to dress her. And though it didn't stop all my thoughts and emotions it definitely helped to make it easier. Single parents have to work twice as hard. Sometimes you do feel overwhelmed but I promise you when you look into your child's eyes everything will be worth it. I wish I had someone to tell me this when I was pregnant so hopefully this is helpful. I wish you all the best. Congratulations! !!!!!!
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  • breanna935breanna935 member
    Thank you , I was worried about going to see a counseler I didn't want them to think I was crazy . Nobody really does understand how I feel in this situation , I felt like I haven't had any control over my life the past few months . I cut communication off because that is the one thing I can control . I know that's wrong but he just stresses me out and when I'm upset the baby is upset too . I'll eventually include him back into my life but I'm not ready right now . If your situation was different and he didn't leave but still had the other baby what would you do ??
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  • zayraamzayraam member
    Im in the same situation single mom again im 21 i have 2 kids preggo with my 3rd (this one has a diff dad) hes 10 years older and is still immature i guess. It does get lonley
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  • tawriebootawrieboo member
    Well I was kind of in that situation. Shortly after I found out he was expecting a child with someone else he tried he very hardest to come back into my life. I really thought about it because who honestly wants to raise a baby by themselves or be alone. We talked about things and it really seemed like having him come back into my life would be promising. We had scheduled for him to come back for a month we would see how things worked out and go from there. The very first day he was here the other girl who was pregnant would bit stop blowing up his phone. She knew he was in New York. I has seen the text messages of him saying he would be there for her kid but doesn't love her he loved me and was trying to work things out. When he stop responding to her text my phone started to ring with her number. Let me talk to him, I'm pregnant too. This just isn't fair you took him from me these are all the things that she would text me. He told me to ignore it and he placed her number on block but I started to think would this be my life. How could he be in two places at once. Ad time went on I was so use to doing things by myself that I didn't really need him but I worked him you know pay back for the months he missed. Then after two weeks he started hanging out with his friends all the time spending time with his family that lives here he wouldn't come home for like 2 days at a time so now a very unstressed pregnant girl that had already accepted the fact that she was going to be a single parent and had dealt and found peace with it was now a very stressed pregnant lady. Needless to say this time I was the one who packed up his stuff and left it right on the front lawn sent him a picture and said trash day is tomorrow you better come get it. Of course he apologized and swore to do better but at that time he had already shown his true colors. I told him as far as being a father to the baby he needed to pitch in financially, that we could work out a visitation with him that I would never permanently remove him from the baby life unless I absolutely had to but as far as us being together it just doesn't work. There is an old saying when someone shows you their true colors believe them. Don't think you can change them. And girl that is the truth. It hard being a single parent but it's not impossible and the love you have for your child will make everything worth it. Don't feal with u necessary drams him having another baby around the same time automatically creates unnecessary drama. He can't be in two places at once. Just enjoy this pregnancy the best you can and let the chips fall where they may. If it is meant to be it will but don't settle just because you don't want to be alone. Trust me three years later I'm so happy I made the decision I made. His other baby made other is always calling me crying telling me how he won't help her and stay out late and doesn't even bond with the baby. That could of been my life but I chose another path. Hope this helps.
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  • monaclemeremonaclemere member
    zayraam said:

    Im in the same situation single mom again im 21 i have 2 kids preggo with my 3rd (this one has a diff dad) hes 10 years older and is still immature i guess. It does get lonley

    You're 21, already have two kids, and are now pregnant with your third by a different man?
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  • zayraamzayraam member
    Yup and im not ashamed or embarrassed of me being so young with 3 kids ☺️ People will always judge and have their opinions about me but i give not one shit about it
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  • SummerOHSummerOH member
    I had DD when I was in college. Her father and I were together 4 years but on the rocks when I found out she was coming along. The key is to establish a good support system through family and friends. It would've been a lot harder for me without them. I was able to finish undergrad and went on to get a master's, all while working full-time. It's very possible! Your road will be harder than you expected, but it is so worth it. Congrats and good luck!

    DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015


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