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May 2015 Moms
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Quitting job

ldmwldmw member
in May 2015 Moms
I've been back to work for a little over a week and am ready to quit. It's not logical. I'm the breadwinner and I make a lot of money. I worked so hard for a really good career. But I don't care about any of that anymore. I miss my baby so much and just want to stay at home. I cry all of the time. I just don't know how I can keep doing this. I feel pulled in so many different directions - mom, wife, employee, me. I can't do it all. Any advice?
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Re: Quitting job

  • prplzprplz member
    Ditto! Im also the breadwinner and have been back to work for 2 weeks and i have to work a ton of overtime. Which means i work from 3 am to 2 pm sometimes. I've thought about quiting many times. My bosses have been very generous as to let me leave whenever i want and work the days i want. My mom, MIL, and friends did not work for the first year so its hard for me to talk to someone who can relate. If you know someone who has done this you should talk to them. But i just think that the more i work the better future i can give my LO. DH would tell me to go ahead and quit my job but he would have to get a second job which means we wont see him alot so i see it as if i work the more time i have with DH and LO. So think of the positive outcomes of you working. Im barely starting to get use to working again, give it time and dont stress yourself out to much. I hope im not to tired and this makes sense haha.
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  • lestes1121lestes1121 member
    It gets better with time. Im the breadwinner in my family and saved up a lot of money to be able to take off for 5-6 months but with my first I went straight back to the grind when she was just 11 days old. I have enjoyed every minute with this one. It will get better but you will still have days where you just wanna stay home and cuddle. And so I call in sick and stay home and make memories. Good luck momma hang In there.
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  • erin79erin79 member
    I am back to work after my second kid, and I can tell you that it does get better.  Way better.  I can't guarantee that it will get better enough for you to be worth working, but it does get better.

    I love that my son gets to hang out with other kids all day and do crafts, play games, read new stories, learn to share (this is huge!), etc.  He's so happy to see me at the end of the day, but he's also happy to go to "school" in the morning.  For instance, today there will be a Super Hero Magic Show at his daycare.  How cool is that!  (Maybe your LO is not at daycare, so this doesn't apply, but I'm throwing it out there anyway.)
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  • vballgirl78vballgirl78 member
    I'm the breadwinner in my family too and am getting ready to go back to work. This is my 2nd baby and yes, it was really hard at first but it gets better (I promise). You will have good days and bad days. I'm already dreading being away from him but seeing his smiling face when I get home from work will help. Hang in there mama! Give it time (this is yet another adjustment that takes time).

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  • odawgodawg member
    Can the father take any time off? Obv depending on your financial situation (you said you were the bread winner). Just a thought as it may help you knowing he is the one caring for the child during the day? I have to feiends doing that and they love it!
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  • justkeeptryingjustkeeptrying member
    I'll take a different stance than some of the other ladies. I, too, am the main breadwinner for our family. DH just finished school the month before DS was born so I was the sole provider for the past 2 years. Fortunately DH got a job straight out of school but he's still making less than what I was.

    I am choosing to be a SAHM despite this. The idea of going back to work makes me so sad. I don't want to miss out on the time with my son. Plus day care is so expensive that we probably would end up spending most of DH's pay check to pay for that. I plan to return to work hopefully part time once he is in school.

    Our finances will be very tight but it is something that I feel is worth the sacrifice. That being said, this is an extremely personal decision and I mean no disrespect to any working moms. I think it's incredible when people can balance work and family life. I don't think I could do it so that's why I am choosing to stay home.

    Just throwing my opinion out there. It has to be a personal decision. And if you are going to work every day and feeling sad/depressed about it, then you may want to re-think your decision. But you should probably give it some time before you jump to any final conclusions.
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  • DMELDMEL member
    chambersbaby2015 said:

    I'll take a different stance than some of the other ladies. I, too, am the main breadwinner for our family. DH just finished school the month before DS was born so I was the sole provider for the past 2 years. Fortunately DH got a job straight out of school but he's still making less than what I was.

    I am choosing to be a SAHM despite this. The idea of going back to work makes me so sad. I don't want to miss out on the time with my son. Plus day care is so expensive that we probably would end up spending most of DH's pay check to pay for that. I plan to return to work hopefully part time once he is in school.

    Our finances will be very tight but it is something that I feel is worth the sacrifice. That being said, this is an extremely personal decision and I mean no disrespect to any working moms. I think it's incredible when people can balance work and family life. I don't think I could do it so that's why I am choosing to stay home.

    Just throwing my opinion out there. It has to be a personal decision. And if you are going to work every day and feeling sad/depressed about it, then you may want to re-think your decision. But you should probably give it some time before you jump to any final conclusions.

    Sounds like a great decision and set up for your family but we should all be reminded that not everyone can "choose" to be a stay-at-home mom. It is not possible for some family set ups
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  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member

    DMEL said:
    I'll take a different stance than some of the other ladies. I, too, am the main breadwinner for our family. DH just finished school the month before DS was born so I was the sole provider for the past 2 years. Fortunately DH got a job straight out of school but he's still making less than what I was. I am choosing to be a SAHM despite this. The idea of going back to work makes me so sad. I don't want to miss out on the time with my son. Plus day care is so expensive that we probably would end up spending most of DH's pay check to pay for that. I plan to return to work hopefully part time once he is in school. Our finances will be very tight but it is something that I feel is worth the sacrifice. That being said, this is an extremely personal decision and I mean no disrespect to any working moms. I think it's incredible when people can balance work and family life. I don't think I could do it so that's why I am choosing to stay home. Just throwing my opinion out there. It has to be a personal decision. And if you are going to work every day and feeling sad/depressed about it, then you may want to re-think your decision. But you should probably give it some time before you jump to any final conclusions.
    Sounds like a great decision and set up for your family but we should all be reminded that not everyone can "choose" to be a stay-at-home mom. It is not possible for some family set ups
    YES! It's so so hard to go to work every day but we have no breadwinner in our family so we both need to work. Daycare costs SO much but it's still not enough to make it financially feasible for me to stay home, which breaks my heart. I've looked at every possible scenario and it is just not a possibility for us. Whenever I see posts about sacrificing financially to stay home and not wanting to miss time with their little ones, it always makes me feel guilty but we just can't survive on one income in our HCOL area. I don't want to miss this precious time with my LO either, but I don't have a choice.
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  • justkeeptryingjustkeeptrying member
    SmrBrd2012 said:



    DMEL said:

    chambersbaby2015 said:

    I'll take a different stance than some of the other ladies. I, too, am the main breadwinner for our family. DH just finished school the month before DS was born so I was the sole provider for the past 2 years. Fortunately DH got a job straight out of school but he's still making less than what I was.

    I am choosing to be a SAHM despite this. The idea of going back to work makes me so sad. I don't want to miss out on the time with my son. Plus day care is so expensive that we probably would end up spending most of DH's pay check to pay for that. I plan to return to work hopefully part time once he is in school.

    Our finances will be very tight but it is something that I feel is worth the sacrifice. That being said, this is an extremely personal decision and I mean no disrespect to any working moms. I think it's incredible when people can balance work and family life. I don't think I could do it so that's why I am choosing to stay home.

    Just throwing my opinion out there. It has to be a personal decision. And if you are going to work every day and feeling sad/depressed about it, then you may want to re-think your decision. But you should probably give it some time before you jump to any final conclusions.

    Sounds like a great decision and set up for your family but we should all be reminded that not everyone can "choose" to be a stay-at-home mom. It is not possible for some family set ups

    YES! It's so so hard to go to work every day but we have no breadwinner in our family so we both need to work. Daycare costs SO much but it's still not enough to make it financially feasible for me to stay home, which breaks my heart. I've looked at every possible scenario and it is just not a possibility for us. Whenever I see posts about sacrificing financially to stay home and not wanting to miss time with their little ones, it always makes me feel guilty but we just can't survive on one income in our HCOL area. I don't want to miss this precious time with my LO either, but I don't have a choice.


    This is exactly why I said no disrespect to anyone who is working. I understand that this is not an option for some people and I am completely in awe of the many women out there who are working and are still fantastic mothers.

    That being said, and maybe this should go in the unpopular opinion Thursday thread, I think a lot of people could live on one income but say they can't because they aren't willing to make sacrifices. I hear lots of women saying they can't afford to stay home with LO, but then they buy Starbucks on their way to work, go out for lunch, come home and watch their cable television while playing on the app they just bought on their iPhone 6.

    So many people can't stay home not because they can't afford it but because they have an expectation of what their life should be like. And if this lifestyle isn't possible on one income then we say we can't afford it.

    Again, this is a very personal choice. And I'm not trying to judge anyone for their decision. But I get a bit frustrated when people think it's such a luxury that I get to stay home with LO. I sacrifice in order to do that. My DH is not bringing home a ton of money by any means. But this was something we chose for our family and I won't regret my decision despite not being able to afford to go to the movies on Friday night.
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  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
    @chambersbaby2015

    Sorry, I wasn't meaning for my post to attack your post or anything. It was more of a vent about people that say they could never leave their baby with strangers and stuff like that. Sometimes you really just don't have a choice. I completely agree that some people probably could stay home if they really tried to cut back (and wanted to). I just wish I was in that category! We are so close to being there but we just can't cut back anymore than we already do. It just sucks.
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  • justkeeptryingjustkeeptrying member
    SmrBrd2012 said:

    @chambersbaby2015

    Sorry, I wasn't meaning for my post to attack your post or anything. It was more of a vent about people that say they could never leave their baby with strangers and stuff like that. Sometimes you really just don't have a choice. I completely agree that some people probably could stay home if they really tried to cut back (and wanted to). I just wish I was in that category! We are so close to being there but we just can't cut back anymore than we already do. It just sucks.

    I definitely understand. It's so hard when you want to so desperately do that but you just can't find a way. I know DH and I went back and forth on this. I hate living pay check to pay check. But we were fortunate to eventually find a way to make it work. At least for now.
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  • mars8kmars8k member
    Dh and i dont have a place of our own yet, i make more money but if i quit we could probably afford a small apartment and the necessities of life, that's how i grew up, except we lived in a government house, but i don't want that for my kids, i want to take them on vacations and have family dinners in restaurants and i want them to live in house with a yard where they can play safely and that can only happen if i work. + i need to have a life outside of my family for my mental health, i'm not the type to manage by myself but a job would force me to. I'm not back to work yet and im dreading the day but i will, for myself and for my family.

    But hey, if you want to stay home with your children there's a lot of honour in that, and children can grow up perfectly fine without luxury, i think i turned out just fine lol, and i cherish my memories with my mum, i dont think there is a right and wrong here, it's what works best for your family.

    Good luck to all of us mamas! :)
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  • DMELDMEL member
    @chambersbaby2015
    I think you're probably dead on for a lot of people!!! but again, some families simply can't afford one salary even while sacrificing many unnecessary amenities. I wish everyone could choose what to do with working and have it work out for them but it doesn't always happen that way. But we all do our very best for our Los
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  • ldmwldmw member
    Thanks ladies did all of your advice. It's only been two weeks but after a lot of soul searching this week, it makes sense for me to keep working. I actually think I've come up with a solution to Better balance work and family life.
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  • danibonellodanibonello member
    chambersbaby2015 said:

    SmrBrd2012 said:



    DMEL said:

    chambersbaby2015 said:

    I'll take a different stance than some of the other ladies. I, too, am the main breadwinner for our family. DH just finished school the month before DS was born so I was the sole provider for the past 2 years. Fortunately DH got a job straight out of school but he's still making less than what I was.

    I am choosing to be a SAHM despite this. The idea of going back to work makes me so sad. I don't want to miss out on the time with my son. Plus day care is so expensive that we probably would end up spending most of DH's pay check to pay for that. I plan to return to work hopefully part time once he is in school.

    Our finances will be very tight but it is something that I feel is worth the sacrifice. That being said, this is an extremely personal decision and I mean no disrespect to any working moms. I think it's incredible when people can balance work and family life. I don't think I could do it so that's why I am choosing to stay home.

    Just throwing my opinion out there. It has to be a personal decision. And if you are going to work every day and feeling sad/depressed about it, then you may want to re-think your decision. But you should probably give it some time before you jump to any final conclusions.

    Sounds like a great decision and set up for your family but we should all be reminded that not everyone can "choose" to be a stay-at-home mom. It is not possible for some family set ups

    YES! It's so so hard to go to work every day but we have no breadwinner in our family so we both need to work. Daycare costs SO much but it's still not enough to make it financially feasible for me to stay home, which breaks my heart. I've looked at every possible scenario and it is just not a possibility for us. Whenever I see posts about sacrificing financially to stay home and not wanting to miss time with their little ones, it always makes me feel guilty but we just can't survive on one income in our HCOL area. I don't want to miss this precious time with my LO either, but I don't have a choice.
    This is exactly why I said no disrespect to anyone who is working. I understand that this is not an option for some people and I am completely in awe of the many women out there who are working and are still fantastic mothers.

    That being said, and maybe this should go in the unpopular opinion Thursday thread, I think a lot of people could live on one income but say they can't because they aren't willing to make sacrifices. I hear lots of women saying they can't afford to stay home with LO, but then they buy Starbucks on their way to work, go out for lunch, come home and watch their cable television while playing on the app they just bought on their iPhone 6.

    So many people can't stay home not because they can't afford it but because they have an expectation of what their life should be like. And if this lifestyle isn't possible on one income then we say we can't afford it.

    Again, this is a very personal choice. And I'm not trying to judge anyone for their decision. But I get a bit frustrated when people think it's such a luxury that I get to stay home with LO. I sacrifice in order to do that. My DH is not bringing home a ton of money by any means. But this was something we chose for our family and I won't regret my decision despite not being able to afford to go to the movies on Friday night.

    Seriously... were we seperated at birth? I agree whole heartedly. Not that I'm saying anyone here is in that situation, but I know people who "can't" live on one income, but they eat out every night, buy new cars, etc.

    Our income is now so tight that some weeks I don't drive to as many places as I want because I don't want to spend money on the gas. It won't always be this way, it's an adjustment, but one I'm willing to make. I plan on taking vacations, but they will likely be frugal. My parents had money, but they were always too busy working for us to take vacations. Like I said previously... there are always positives and negatives. We all can only do what is best for our family.
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