Dh wad killed 11 days ago, help with grief

lovenlight77 · August 2015

My beloved of 14 years was killed by an aggressive pick up truck driver on Aug 1,2015 on his motorcycle. I have seen the video and I'm almost 22 weeks preg... the grief has me beside myself. I'm scared its going to hurt our baby girl. I've already been to triage and the dr said she seems healthy, any pointers on how to cope?

MrsBwIVF · August 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss, that is heartbreaking and a terrible tragedy.
I HIGHLY suggest seeking out a grief therapist and scheduling an appt as soon as you can. Grief can consume your whole life and can definitely hurt you and your baby in the long run.

Eta this woman may be a little of an inspiration for you. Her husband was shot when she was weeks away from giving birth and her grace and poise while dealing with everything, has been an inspiration to me.

https://m.facebook.com/jennifer.swihart.7

ketobaby · August 2015

I just wanted to say that I am
Very sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and your family.

yl1m32015 · August 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you're having to go through all of this. I hope you have strong family support that you can lean on in times like this. As a PP suggested, seek a counselor, take it one day at a time, let yourself grieve. This will be a long and tough healing process, but you are strong and can get through this for your daughter. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

leek71983 · August 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss! I agree with PP, seeking professional help can assist you in dealing with the grief. Just remember it takes time and there are no set rules for how to deal with grief or how long it "should/shouldn't" last. You will make it through. You have part of him growing inside of you. You'll always have a piece of him. I hope that can bring you some comfort in this incredibly difficult time.

Mother0fDragons · August 2015

I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope you have some friends or family that can help support you. I would also suggest that you see a counselor to help you with your grief. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

RSB1982 · August 2015

I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say. I agree with others, seek out counseling and support groups. Check with your insurance, counseling may be a covered benefit. Your OB may even be able to make some recommendations. Nothing will make the pain go away but in time you will find ways to cope. Thoughts and prayers to you and your baby girl.

GardenMama116 · August 2015

I am so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. Please reach out to family and friends for support during this difficult time. I will thinking and praying for you.

Sunny2015 · August 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your LO.

spottedginger · August 2015

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please seek help and support from family, friends, loss support groups, and clergy as much as possible. You are in my thoughts.

sableeg · August 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain you are going through. As a trauma therapist, my best advice is to please just make sure that you are taking care of yourself and finding some sort of routine - go to bed at night, even if it's hard to fall asleep. Try and eat regular nutritious meals even when you're not hungry. Shower and brush your teeth and hair, even when it feels impossible to just get out of bed for the day. Don't forget to ask for help when you need it and of course find someone to talk to that you can trust - a grief counselor, pastor, best friend, mom, social worker. Sometimes it will feel like you're taking things one minute at a time, and that's ok. There is no prescribed way to experience grief - you may be angry, sad, scared, depressed, anxious, happy at memories, etc. It's all OK.

Again, I'm so so sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts.

cav4christ · August 2015

You already have gotten some amazing advice. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your LO are in my thoughts and prayers.

ChiccoBeanz · August 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences. I agree with PP. Please seek grief counseling to help you heal through this. But we are here for you as a community if you need us.

kristen2b · August 2015

So so sorry.

Mags128 · August 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts are with you and your family.

SunnyD2015 · August 2015

So sorry for your loss. I seems you have gotten some really great advice in the above comments. I had a friend who lost her husband when she was just 6 weeks pregnant to a tragic accident. She birthed a healthy baby girl in the end of it all. Think of your daughter's health and try to focus on that. You are not alone in this struggle and I hope you can find peace soon.

VixDecember2015 · August 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of you and your family.

LauraSmarterSpam · August 2015

So very sorry. I cannot even imagine.

BostonBaby1 · August 2015

I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. I agree to seek the help of a professional therapist and think that is the healthiest thing to do at this time. Here is a link for 24/7 grief counseling (hotline) and they are wonderful if you need to talk to someone before you can get an appointment with a therapist. You may want to contact either your primary care or OB for the referral to a good therapist. Thoughts and prayers go out to you, LO and your entire family. :-(

https://www.firstcandle.org/grieving-families/

ACarter0914 · August 2015

I could never imagine. So sorry for your loss!

colsen4 · August 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. I recommend pp advice and resources.

OrangeFox · August 2015

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you're going through. My father passed away from a very aggressive cancer just a few weeks ago. We found out he was sick and he died just two months later. I know this is very different, but intense grief during pregnancy.

I've found it helpful to remember that it is okay to be sad. It's okay to cry. I needed to get out of the house the other day and I went to a coffee shop. While sitting there I just cried and cried. I tried to stop but couldn't. I texted a friend who reminded me that there's nothing wrong with crying, even it public.

Definitely seek support. Friends, family, professional. Find someone who you can call in the middle of the night. I've also been getting acupuncture fairly regularly and it has been immensely helpful.

Thoughts and prayers.

GodIsFaithful93 · August 2015

So so very sorry for you tragic loss. My thoughts & prayers are with you. Agree with all the PP's, seeking a grief counselor will help immensely.

preggoandglowing · August 2015

I cannot imagine what you are going through. My most sincere condolences. It seems like despite your grief you are doing what you can to keep your baby safe & healthy and that should be commended. It may seem hard right now but look toward the future with your baby girl, try to focus on that to get you through this extremely difficult time. Your DH will be watching over and he wouldn't want you to hurt so much. I will keep you and your families in my prayers.

rain0831boww · August 2015

I am so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you are going through and I hope you have family support to help you through this extremely difficult time. Like other PP's, reach out to a therapist/grief counselor. I assume there may be online support groups as well. My thoughts are with you and always remember he is with you and your child.

holly1811 · August 2015

I am so so sorry. And truly heartbroken for you sending you lots of hugs

Fuzzy228 · August 2015

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Taylovesbrad · August 2015

This is so horrible... I can't even imagine. I am so sorry. Death is such a tough thing to deal with but your situation is so difficult. I agree with pp to get counseling. Alot of times it's free. Also maybe someone can set up a go fund me account on your behalf to raise money for the financial impact. My heart breaks for you...

momotheflyinglemur · August 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you can surround yourself with loving, supportive people to help you through this unbearably hard time. DH loves you and LO eternally. That is something that will never go away.

*hugs*

CMDD · August 2015

Do you have anyone who can come stay with you and support you during this time? Maybe someone to come over once or twice a day and make meals, clean, get you out moving on a walk? I know it seems like nothing will ever help, but seeing a therapist can really make a difference. I am so incredibly sorry you have had to live through this tragedy, and while pregnant! Try to take care of yourself and just get through one day at at time.

merbear32 · August 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing. I know you will get through this. Your OB office may have resources such as case management, therapist, etc.

Brookerose978 · August 2015

Oh my goodness how heartbreaking. I'm so so sorry. Just like pp's said I hope you can find loving caring supportive people around you to help you through this. Sending T&P's and (((hugs))) to you.

Brooke1129 · August 2015

So very sorry for your loss

kdoak2015 · August 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling. I would suggest as per pp staying with family. Stay strong an hold onto that baby girl as she is a piece of him.

AnnH74 · August 2015

Just adding my condolences. So very sorry.

hplunkett2883 · August 2015

I am sorry for your loss. I know this is a very difficult time to be going through, and I couldn't even begin to imagine. Just try and stay strong for your baby as she still needs you. Please look for local support groups and talk with your OB about this, they can help direct you. My prayers are with you.