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May 2015 Moms
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Rant

Brieb33Brieb33 member
in May 2015 Moms
My husband's younger sister is getting married next summer. I'm asked to be a bridesmaid. For one I live in GA and she lives in Washington state. For two, my LO's will be 2 and 1. And for three she is also asking one of her BFFs who also used to be my husbands gf who he was intimate with, to also be a bridesmaid.

I don't see HOW I can take my babies that far and also am I wrong for not wanting to hang out and do bridesmaid stuff with a girl my husband has been intimate with? I know I did stuff before I met my husband so no shame to him but I'm also not asking that he be buds with a guy I once was intimate with.

I really don't know what to tell his sis. Even if she chooses to have the wedding here in GA I don't want to be in it but how would I say no?

P.s. My husband doesn't get it which pisses me off even more.
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Re: Rant

  • blitzy23blitzy23 member
    This is one of those situations where you can't win! I don't blame you for not wanting to hang out a whole lot with this girl. Can you be in the wedding, but be too busy with your kiddos to do the other events?
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  • DMELDMEL member
    When it comes to family, you can't win. I had to ask my spoiled future sister in law to be a bridesmaid in my wedding despite her being terrible. Why? Because she was about to be my family forever. I would advise you to put your feelings aside and just be a bridesmaid for the sake of everyone involved. At a family weddings, hopefully others will pick up the slack in helping you and husband care for your very young children.
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  • tdart14tdart14 member
    I also agree with setting things aside and being a bridesmaid
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  • erin79erin79 member
    I think you have to let go of the ex-gf/bridesmaid thing.  It's in the past, you're married to him and have kids, just let bygones be bygones.  Since you live across the country, you can get out of pretty much all bridesmaid stuff and just show up to the wedding, so you don't even really have to hang out with her.

    As far as taking your 2 kids across the country, I guess the question is would you go to the wedding even if you weren't a bridesmaid? I would think that the wedding of your husband's sister is one you really can't skip barring some extreme circumstance.
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  • justkeeptryingjustkeeptrying member
    Agreed with PP. It's DH's family so you need to attend the wedding. As someone whose SIL didn't attend my baby shower, I can tell you that she will probably feel very hurt if you don't come.

    And I can't imagine turning down someone who has asked me to be a bridesmaid. I feel very honoured when I'm asked to stand up for someone on their special day. So put the other stuff aside and be there for her.
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  • marthaudanimarthaudani member
    You kind of can't say no to being a bridesmaid. I know it's hard but try and put your feelings aside, pull up your big girl panties and give it a go. You don't have to like this girl, hell, you don't even have to be nice to her. Just keep it classy for the sake of your SIL.

    When it's all said and done, you'll be glad you did.
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  • lola2beelola2bee member
    I wouldn't care about the ex but man you'd have to pay me to travel with kids right now. In any case maybe you can go to the wedding but ask not to be in it as a compromise?
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