The "Wow, you look pregnant! Not fat just pregnant." Comments. Thanks for the clarification Or a any comment or reference to how "big" I am. The word big should NEVER be used as an adjective towards an expectant mother. Nope. Just no.
For some reason the subject of my husband getting a raise has come up more than once during casual conversation, especially this past week. Just because my husband is in the military and we are having a child does not mean extra income. It astounds me the audacity people have to ask about finances. A. It's no ones business what and how much money we are making. B. We started a family because we were ready and not based on a possibility of having more money. The whole idea just makes my skin crawl, and I find it obnoxiously disrespectful.
ETA. No people do not get paid extra money for having children and being service members!!!! I'm beginning to see this is a common misconception.
The "Wow, you look pregnant! Not fat just pregnant." Comments. Thanks for the clarification Or a any comment or reference to how "big" I am. The word big should NEVER be used as an adjective towards an expectant mother. Nope. Just no.
For some reason the subject of my husband getting a raise has come up more than once during casual conversation, especially this past week. Just because my husband is in the military and we are having a child does not mean extra income. It astounds me the audacity people have to ask about finances. A. It's no ones business what and how much money we are making. B. We started a family because we were ready and not based on a possibility of having more money. The whole idea just makes my skin crawl, and I find it obnoxiously disrespectful.
ETA. No people do not get paid extra money for having children and being service members!!!! I'm beginning to see this is a common misconception.
People are rude! Thank you & your husband so much for everything you do for this country!
Oof!! The things people say to us ~X( I didn't have anything to add, until yesterday. I was swimming laps at a nearby pool and a heavyset dude in his 50s entered my lane. After I did a few hundred yards I stopped to rest and have some water before my next set and he lumbered in behind me, huffing and puffing. "You're swimming really well for a pregnant woman," he said. "How far along are you? Do you feel better after working out?" I don't swim well for a pregnant woman. I just swim well!!! Years of lessons, swim team and races have made me an effective swimmer, and my stroke was way better than his, which is why I was lapping him. But sure, it's only significant because I'm pregnant and yes, I'd love to tell him all about it during my 30 second recovery between sets! ***i may be overreacting, but I don't feel like my body and pregnancy are up for discussion with randoms.
I have to down stack product to push to smaller tubs now that I'm 28WEEKS pregnant and a back room coworker told me "if you can't do your job you should go on leave already." EXCUSE ME?!
That's pretty friggin bold. Why do co-workers care? Do your own work and don't worry how I'm doing mine! Bye Felicia.
I just hate when someone hasn't seen me in a little while and they are just like "wow you blew up" or something along those lines. First off, I know I'm not huge. I'm 26weeks and can still somewhat hide my little bump. I normally just smile and laugh when stuff like this is said to me. I know they don't mean it in a mean way so I don't want to show I'm offended. Irritating though.
Needed to resurrect this thread. Last night, I was having an Instagram conversation with a friend of mine who recently had twins. We're both big fans of Harry Potter. DH and I are naming our son Ronald (after DH's grandpa) James (after DH). I've been teasing him lately that we should name him Ronald Billius (after Harry's best friend Ron Weasley). Sharing this joke with my friend who supported it.
This other girl I went to high school with comments on it this morning asking why we're going with Ronald. I almost asked her why she decided to make up her daughter's name, but I decided that was too mean...I went with this instead.
My co worker constantly asks me "how you doing momma" every damn day. First of all I don't even know her well (she is new) and then always has to comment. Now I know she is just trying to be nice but I still, treat me normal, I am still a person not just the "pregnant girl." Then the other day she says the whole "how you doing mama." And then says, "Wow have you dropped already?" "It's probably too soon but it looks like he's dropped and sitting lower already!" I was completely offended plus she did this around all my other co workers. It was strange and I told her, "what I weird thing to say" and ignored her. Get the picture and leave me alone. Why are you looking so closely at my belly anyway?
Needed to resurrect this thread. Last night, I was having an Instagram conversation with a friend of mine who recently had twins. We're both big fans of Harry Potter. DH and I are naming our son Ronald (after DH's grandpa) James (after DH). I've been teasing him lately that we should name him Ronald Billius (after Harry's best friend Ron Weasley). Sharing this joke with my friend who supported it.
This other girl I went to high school with comments on it this morning asking why we're going with Ronald. I almost asked her why she decided to make up her daughter's name, but I decided that was too mean...I went with this instead.
I am a huge HP fan so my friends and I refer to baby as Hermione. My friend posted that on Facebook and both my MIL and my SIL went nuts. My MIL called my husband in a panic, wondering we we would give her granddaughter a name like Her-me-own-ee. hahaha
@gograce - I love it. My daughter is named Reagan and people ask all the time if she was named after him. I just say "There's worse people she could be named after!"
"Once you have the baby, you're not going to want to work/teach fitness/travel, etc." Just because I'll be a mom doesn't mean I will automatically give up everything I've worked for and love.
Not really sure if this a dumb thing to say to pregnant person or just a dumb thing to say in general...but my DH just referred to raising a child as a "fun project" that will be "productive". I'm still scratching my head....
My husband told Me two days ago that he had a dream I was giving birth to our baby girl and I ended up dying. Talk about not what I want to hear when I'm already so freaked out about giving birth to our first child..
When I worked in an office during my first pregnancy, a man I've spoken to maybe twice asked me if I had any miscarriages before getting pregnant. My mouth just dropped. To this day, I'm still amazed at how an almost stranger can ask such an invasive, personal question.
These days, it's my mom making the "just you wait" comments all the time. "Just you wait until you can't get up off the floor anymore!" Yep, I've been pregnant before. "Just you wait until you have two kids sick at the same time!" ...and other fun negative tidbits about parenting that seems like the sky is falling because we are adding a second child to our family.
When I'm exhausted from not sleeping more than 10 minutes at a time and then working full time and enduring hellish commutes and being sick and in pain and all that other crap and people say... "oh, well you better get used to it, that's what it will be like for good once the baby's born..." I'm sorry but if I'm getting up that often when baby's here it's because baby needs me... I can justify that extremely easily... it's very different from just waking up from the pain and having to pee... very. different.
I was called a sausage by my boss at work. WTF does that even mean? He's Scottish so maybe it means something different than here, but where I'm from he's calling me fat, or "stuffed to the limits". I should call him sausage. He's overweight.
When I'm exhausted from not sleeping more than 10 minutes at a time and then working full time and enduring hellish commutes and being sick and in pain and all that other crap and people say... "oh, well you better get used to it, that's what it will be like for good once the baby's born..." I'm sorry but if I'm getting up that often when baby's here it's because baby needs me... I can justify that extremely easily... it's very different from just waking up from the pain and having to pee... very. different.
FYI, your life will not be miserable "for good" once the baby is born. If that were the case people would stop having kids. I wish people would stop making newborn life out to be like the worst thing in the world. It's rough and it's life changing but it's not going to eat away at your soul. And yes, you are right, this pain you are going through is not the same as waking up for your baby. People need to stop saying these things to pregnant women!
Right? I'm like-- waking up in the night once baby's here is going to be to take care of my beautiful child who needs me... it's going to be exhausting, yes, but also the most rewarding thing I'll probably ever do!!!! People are ridiculous! I say... if they really want to "help," give me a shoulder rub instead.
Today at work, a coach told me "if you would have taken my health class last year, you wouldn't be in this situation, har har har" Um, thanks, I'm not one of your students! Rude!
When I'm exhausted from not sleeping more than 10 minutes at a time and then working full time and enduring hellish commutes and being sick and in pain and all that other crap and people say... "oh, well you better get used to it, that's what it will be like for good once the baby's born..." I'm sorry but if I'm getting up that often when baby's here it's because baby needs me... I can justify that extremely easily... it's very different from just waking up from the pain and having to pee... very. different.
FYI, your life will not be miserable "for good" once the baby is born. If that were the case people would stop having kids. I wish people would stop making newborn life out to be like the worst thing in the world. It's rough and it's life changing but it's not going to eat away at your soul. And yes, you are right, this pain you are going through is not the same as waking up for your baby. People need to stop saying these things to pregnant women!
^^^ This. All the way.
The newborn stage goes by pretty quickly (although it doesn't feel that way till you're past it!!), and the sleep deprivation doesn't last forever. Plus once all the glorious postpartum stuff is over (around 6 weeks or so), your body gets back to feeling more normal and as tired as you are, you don't feel huge and achy and swollen . . . Well except maybe your boobs if you BF, but even that gets to be more comfortable after a while.
Most recent wtf from someone's comment: "Are you going to just start popping babies out and not go to school? What happened to your integrity? At least I got out of our shit town. ". Apparently because we have kids it means I have no integrity and will not be complete my third college degree. I guess being pregnant also means I'm "stuck" and can't move, complete a degree, etc. Really people?
Recently I've been getting a lot of the "this is your last right?" Or "are you guys done now?" Because this makes 5 collectively. Why yes we are but if we decided to have another one that's none of your business!
And when I tell people I want to do a surrogate in the future (I've been wanting to for years and may for my best friend some time) they act like I'm crazy. "How can you give away a baby?" Is the most common question. Well it's not actually my baby and I would have spent the previous 9+ months preparing for carrying and "giving away" this baby.
Ughhhh I was at a restaurant celebrating my friends birthday. When I went to use the restroom, it had 2 stalls, occupied and 2 people waiting in front of me. Someone came in after me and said
Oh goodness how can you make the pregnant girl wait!?
Initially I was annoyed because I was fine and before I could respond some drunk girl shouted from the stall
Let that bitch piss in the garbage can if she has a problem waiting
I could have ripped her head off but in reality I just felt bad for her. My life is amazing and surely not as low as dressing like a hussy wasted by 8pm on a Friday treating other women so poorly.
Most recent wtf from someone's comment: "Are you going to just start popping babies out and not go to school? What happened to your integrity? At least I got out of our shit town. ". Apparently because we have kids it means I have no integrity and will not be complete my third college degree. I guess being pregnant also means I'm "stuck" and can't move, complete a degree, etc. Really people?
I am so pissed for you! That's really uncalled for. My husband and I both love traveling and and plan to live abroad eventually and we had someone ask us if we gave up that dream since we're having a baby. Of course not! We're in the process of planning a trip to Argentina when he's 9 months old. My kid is going to be so well traveled.
At work, a 19 year old kid said "so since this is your 3rd baby... They just kinda slide right out at this point right?" He honestly thought everything stayed all stretched out! Ha! I responded with... "Silly boy, how would any woman ever keep a husband???
I've gotten the "you look huge!" comments too often. It's like they want me to punch them!
The one that really blew me away was when I was in the checkout with my daughter and she started whining because I wasn't going to buy her candy. The lady in the next lane pointedly looked at my left hand (that was missing wedding rings because I have been wearing them on a chain around my neck) and said "Well if you would learn to keep your legs closed you wouldn't have to worry about this kind of stuff. Pity they won't know their father..."
Also heard a couple mumble about "their tax dollars at work" while pointing at me and my daughter.
Uhm...EXCUSE ME?! Just because I didn't take my husband to the store with me (after he worked a 12 hour shift) does not mean I'm some slut who has gotten herself in over her head. Where do you get off saying that crap to me?? I mean I get I'm young (22) but seriously I'm going to scream if I hear another comment like that!
I've gotten the "you look huge!" comments too often. It's like they want me to punch them!
The one that really blew me away was when I was in the checkout with my daughter and she started whining because I wasn't going to buy her candy. The lady in the next lane pointedly looked at my left hand (that was missing wedding rings because I have been wearing them on a chain around my neck) and said "Well if you would learn to keep your legs closed you wouldn't have to worry about this kind of stuff. Pity they won't know their father..."
Also heard a couple mumble about "their tax dollars at work" while pointing at me and my daughter.
Uhm...EXCUSE ME?! Just because I didn't take my husband to the store with me (after he worked a 12 hour shift) does not mean I'm some slut who has gotten herself in over her head. Where do you get off saying that crap to me?? I mean I get I'm young (22) but seriously I'm going to scream if I hear another comment like that!
OMG! I would totally have set those people straight. How incredibly rude!
I've gotten the "you look huge!" comments too often. It's like they want me to punch them!
The one that really blew me away was when I was in the checkout with my daughter and she started whining because I wasn't going to buy her candy. The lady in the next lane pointedly looked at my left hand (that was missing wedding rings because I have been wearing them on a chain around my neck) and said "Well if you would learn to keep your legs closed you wouldn't have to worry about this kind of stuff. Pity they won't know their father..."
Also heard a couple mumble about "their tax dollars at work" while pointing at me and my daughter.
Uhm...EXCUSE ME?! Just because I didn't take my husband to the store with me (after he worked a 12 hour shift) does not mean I'm some slut who has gotten herself in over her head. Where do you get off saying that crap to me?? I mean I get I'm young (22) but seriously I'm going to scream if I hear another comment like that!
Typically I would have kept quiet, but this pregnancy I have a hard time not responding and this is one I would have fired back at. You have far more patience than I do.
I don't have one that was said, but an action. My family has this thing where they try to shake the "baby" to wake it up and make it move. My brother did it today and I asked him not to. He genuinely said he was just trying to feel him move and apologized. I told him, I want to tell you this so you hear it from me and not a friend that will just lay into you. But it is generally found to be one of the most rude things you can do to a pregnant woman. You are shaking her belly not that baby, and when we're standing you're probably not going to get him (or her in someone else's case) to move because you're actually rocking them to sleep. I know you want to feel him and if I'm sitting down he's more likely to move without being prodded. Thankfully he understood that I was trying to hard to be nice to him about it and my reasoning he just seemed so sad because he just wants to feel his nephew move, he loves to feel the belly and I don't mind people touching me.
I don't have one that was said, but an action. My family has this thing where they try to shake the "baby" to wake it up and make it move. My brother did it today and I asked him not to. He genuinely said he was just trying to feel him move and apologized. I told him, I want to tell you this so you hear it from me and not a friend that will just lay into you. But it is generally found to be one of the most rude things you can do to a pregnant woman. You are shaking her belly not that baby, and when we're standing you're probably not going to get him (or her in someone else's case) to move because you're actually rocking them to sleep. I know you want to feel him and if I'm sitting down he's more likely to move without being prodded. Thankfully he understood that I was trying to hard to be nice to him about it and my reasoning he just seemed so sad because he just wants to feel his nephew move, he loves to feel the belly and I don't mind people touching me.
With my first I had people do this all the time and it made me so angry. Like seriously, why wpuld you think its ok to "shake a baby" in the womb. It hurts . Though I do get that some people mean well and just want to be a part of the experience, it still my tummy.
When I found out I was having this one and I told a group of people (a few of which regularly did this the first time), I bluntly said if anyone touched my stomach I would probably punch them in the face or stab them with the nearest sharp object! A bit extreme lol but I wanted them to know I meant business. Needless to say, no one has touched my stomach this pregnancy.
My mom tried shaking the baby awake the other day and I had to tell her to stop because it was making me nauseous.
I don't really have a ton of people touching my belly, which makes me super happy. I have a couple kids at school who will and I've just accepted it because they're quick with their little pats. They just better get him awesome gifts when he gets here! Haha
@clairesmommabear, that would make me so angry! And it's ridiculously ignorant, considering how many of us pregnant women can't wear our rings during the 3rd tri. Everyone should just assume that a pregnant woman is married. (Or not ASSume anything, even better).
And since when did the dad have to come to the store with you every time? And so what if you were on food stamps? It's no one else's business, not to mention that it's tax pennies, not tax dollars paying for them.
I work at a medical center and I have a panel of patients I see regularly. I have heard a lot of "is that planned?" "didn't you just have a baby?" But the most annoying by far is "You know how that happens, right?" from my patients (usually older men). They think they are funny but I find it super annoying. I am on my 2nd child and they will be a little over 2 years apart.
However, the worst was a creepy old man stranger in our very full lobby walked up to me and pointed at my stomach and said "Is that mine?" ugh
Here on the Bump when people don't get the answer they want to hear they usually say "You're bunch of hormonal rude jerks!" or "You're a bunch of SAHMs with no life but to be on the Bump!" Some of the dumbest things I've heard...
Also, nopenopenope There are plenty of full time working moms [me] on here too. Dont generalize because you're being defensive or bratty.
OR when women judge others for having a medicated birth or c section. That's awful. Seriously ADULT women???!
Whenever my dad calls me, he always says, "Heyyyy, how's my fat daughter doing?!" Makes me so mad!
People also ask me when I'm going to have another one... I've just started saying that I'm not even thinking about another child right now because all I want is to get the current baby out of my body safely. Geez, nosy people! Asking when one of my eggs will be fertilized is nobody's business except mine and my husband's. Rude.
O'15 September Siggy Challenge -- Third Trimester Woes
But the most annoying by far is "You know how that happens, right?" from my patients (usually older men). They think they are funny but I find it super annoying.
Oh my gooooooosh! I thought I was the only one getting this! It's hooooorrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me feel SO uncomfortable. I just laugh it off but it REALLY makes me annoyed and embarrassed. I get a version of it daily by a guy in his 40's or 50's. Not even an old guy who lacks self awareness!
Re: Dumb things people say to pregnant women
For some reason the subject of my husband getting a raise has come up more than once during casual conversation, especially this past week. Just because my husband is in the military and we are having a child does not mean extra income. It astounds me the audacity people have to ask about finances. A. It's no ones business what and how much money we are making. B. We started a family because we were ready and not based on a possibility of having more money. The whole idea just makes my skin crawl, and I find it obnoxiously disrespectful.
ETA. No people do not get paid extra money for having children and being service members!!!! I'm beginning to see this is a common misconception.
People are rude! Thank you & your husband so much for everything you do for this country!
I didn't have anything to add, until yesterday.
I was swimming laps at a nearby pool and a heavyset dude in his 50s entered my lane. After I did a few hundred yards I stopped to rest and have some water before my next set and he lumbered in behind me, huffing and puffing.
"You're swimming really well for a pregnant woman," he said. "How far along are you? Do you feel better after working out?"
I don't swim well for a pregnant woman. I just swim well!!! Years of lessons, swim team and races have made me an effective swimmer, and my stroke was way better than his, which is why I was lapping him. But sure, it's only significant because I'm pregnant and yes, I'd love to tell him all about it during my 30 second recovery between sets!
***i may be overreacting, but I don't feel like my body and pregnancy are up for discussion with randoms.
That's pretty friggin bold. Why do co-workers care? Do your own work and don't worry how I'm doing mine! Bye Felicia.
I normally just smile and laugh when stuff like this is said to me. I know they don't mean it in a mean way so I don't want to show I'm offended. Irritating though.
This other girl I went to high school with comments on it this morning asking why we're going with Ronald. I almost asked her why she decided to make up her daughter's name, but I decided that was too mean...I went with this instead.
....gee thanks b***ch
These days, it's my mom making the "just you wait" comments all the time. "Just you wait until you can't get up off the floor anymore!" Yep, I've been pregnant before. "Just you wait until you have two kids sick at the same time!" ...and other fun negative tidbits about parenting that seems like the sky is falling because we are adding a second child to our family.
Um, thanks, I'm not one of your students! Rude!
^^^ This. All the way.
The newborn stage goes by pretty quickly (although it doesn't feel that way till you're past it!!), and the sleep deprivation doesn't last forever. Plus once all the glorious postpartum stuff is over (around 6 weeks or so), your body gets back to feeling more normal and as tired as you are, you don't feel huge and achy and swollen . . . Well except maybe your boobs if you BF, but even that gets to be more comfortable after a while.
And when I tell people I want to do a surrogate in the future (I've been wanting to for years and may for my best friend some time) they act like I'm crazy. "How can you give away a baby?" Is the most common question. Well it's not actually my baby and I would have spent the previous 9+ months preparing for carrying and "giving away" this baby.
Oh goodness how can you make the pregnant girl wait!?
Initially I was annoyed because I was fine and before I could respond some drunk girl shouted from the stall
Let that bitch piss in the garbage can if she has a problem waiting
I could have ripped her head off but in reality I just felt bad for her. My life is amazing and surely not as low as dressing like a hussy wasted by 8pm on a Friday treating other women so poorly.
The one that really blew me away was when I was in the checkout with my daughter and she started whining because I wasn't going to buy her candy. The lady in the next lane pointedly looked at my left hand (that was missing wedding rings because I have been wearing them on a chain around my neck) and said "Well if you would learn to keep your legs closed you wouldn't have to worry about this kind of stuff. Pity they won't know their father..."
Also heard a couple mumble about "their tax dollars at work" while pointing at me and my daughter.
Uhm...EXCUSE ME?! Just because I didn't take my husband to the store with me (after he worked a 12 hour shift) does not mean I'm some slut who has gotten herself in over her head. Where do you get off saying that crap to me?? I mean I get I'm young (22) but seriously I'm going to scream if I hear another comment like that!
When I found out I was having this one and I told a group of people (a few of which regularly did this the first time), I bluntly said if anyone touched my stomach I would probably punch them in the face or stab them with the nearest sharp object! A bit extreme lol but I wanted them to know I meant business. Needless to say, no one has touched my stomach this pregnancy.
I don't really have a ton of people touching my belly, which makes me super happy. I have a couple kids at school who will and I've just accepted it because they're quick with their little pats. They just better get him awesome gifts when he gets here! Haha
When are you going out? And are you having a c-section?
My response: whenever he is ready and Idk!
Coming from a single guy who isn't married/in a relationship/ have no kids!
And since when did the dad have to come to the store with you every time? And so what if you were on food stamps? It's no one else's business, not to mention that it's tax pennies, not tax dollars paying for them.
I work at a medical center and I have a panel of patients I see regularly. I have heard a lot of "is that planned?" "didn't you just have a baby?" But the most annoying by far is "You know how that happens, right?" from my patients (usually older men). They think they are funny but I find it super annoying. I am on my 2nd child and they will be a little over 2 years apart.
However, the worst was a creepy old man stranger in our very full lobby walked up to me and pointed at my stomach and said "Is that mine?" ugh
People also ask me when I'm going to have another one... I've just started saying that I'm not even thinking about another child right now because all I want is to get the current baby out of my body safely. Geez, nosy people! Asking when one of my eggs will be fertilized is nobody's business except mine and my husband's. Rude.