My daughter is 7 yrs old. She wants to watch me give birth to her baby brother. What do you think?

AMagner · August 2015

I think it would be a great learning experience, but she is only 7.

kmama37 · August 2015

Maybe explain it to her or show her some less graphic birth videos an see how she feels then?

J1D · August 2015

My friend asked a question like this once in regards to farm issues, like breeding the livestock, harvesting chickens ect. We decided the best thing was to show the child in question some videos and see how they feel about it. Then if they are still interested let them watch BUT have a support person in place so that if at any point the child needs to or wants to leave, they can do so.
I think you know your child best and what you and your family are comfortable with. I think it's ok if you and your SO are ok with it.

stephiesheldork · August 2015

I don't think it's a bad idea. The only thing that I would be worried about would be how she would react if I wasn't handling labor well. Not really if something went wrong. Just if I was in a lot of pain and crying or yelling. But that really depends on your personality. If you can stay calm and not make it scary for her, I think she'd think it was really cool to be there. But I personally would not trust myself to keep it together.

smlowe9311 · August 2015

Just for reference dd1 is only 2 but I couldn't imagine having her (even when she is 7) in the delivery room. It's so busy and messy (dh had a hard time watching it with dd1) and I'd be nervous about how she would react to me being in that much pain. Yes, it's a part of life and natural but I just don't think I would be comfortable with it at that age.

kaweegar · August 2015

My little sister and I watched the birth of our brother- at the time I was 10 and my sister was 8. We thought it was amazing and went on to watch our other 2 siblings births as well. My parents took us with them to a birthing class to prepare us and my mom's Dr. talked us through the entire delivery process and explained everything as it was happening.

ajhellmuth · August 2015

I struggled with this with my daughter last year who at the time was 8 when I was having her baby sister. She's seen a baby story and thought she wanted to be there. She went back & forth and I didn't think she could handle seeing me in pain. My dh hates watching me labor in pain. Then we thought she could come along &;when things started getting intense my mom would wait with her in the waiting room until after the baby had arrived. In the end I was induced and labor didn't really start until 8 pm. It was late & we didn't know how long it would be. Baby came at 10 and we just went and got her & her brother first thing in the morning. You know your daughter so if you think she can handle it then let her come but I agree you should have a back up person who can take her to the waiting room if needed.

carlymarie021 · August 2015

My opinion is no. But some people are more open with their children. I would be very uneasy about it.

emeraudecephiro · August 2015

They may not let her in the room because of flu season because of her age (under 13) if you are giving birth in a hospital.

maiatene · August 2015

I probably wouldn't let her on the room in case things took a turn for the worse. She can come as soon as they clean everything up and I'm in post-partum.

Full disclosure: I don't think anyone who doesn't add value to the experience should be in the room - my parents, in-laws, siblings and friends could wait outside or come to post-partum.

komorebi · August 2015

I think it's great. You definitely want to prepare her for it and have a person there to take her if it gets scary or overwhelming. It's not like she has to really see everything. Depending on where she is during pushing. My oldest was at her sister's birth and my sister took her out of the room when we were changing pushing positions. She thought it was a cool experience. My 4 yo wants to be with me this time but I'll only do that if it goes really fast again or it's nighttime.

MamaBear345 · August 2015

Um no. I'm sorry, you don't have to agree with me or even listen to what I have to say but I just personally think that is weird. She's only 7. I'm all for kids on the farm watching livestock births, I always did growing up...but watching my mom? At age 7? Can you say awkward?

leah665 · August 2015

I saw both my sisters being born at 10 and again at 13. I didn't stay in the room the whole time (she had home births), really just for the pushing part. I have no negative feeling towards being there it was actually pretty cool.

Looking back on it, it was a hell of a good birth control method my mom used. I am expecting my first at 32.

ElleMF728 · August 2015

I think that this really depends on you and your daughter. I know that personally, I would be way too concerned with DS to focus on myself and relax and try to rest between contractions. I also want DH focused on helping me and his first instinct would (also) be to have his attention on DS rather than me, even with another person in the room.

I also would worry because things can go from fine to bad in just a minute and I would think that might be really scary for a little one. My DS is much younger so maybe I will feel differently in a few years but as PP said, its rough enough on DH and he is an adult.

Last, my potty mouth will probably make an appearance again and I don't want to have to censor myself.

MamaOwl15 · August 2015

I was 5 when my youngest sister was born, so a bit younger but not by much. I didn't even get to see her in the hospital. Looking back to being that age, by the time I was 7 or 8, I was very curious about how babies were made and born, but I don't think my mom would've ever, in her wildest dreams, have thought of me watching her give birth.

If it were me, I'd show the child a video and explain that it would be similar for me, but I'm not sure I'd want her there in person. And that's assuming a vaginal delivery.

My horror-movie-loving husband with a stomach of steel couldn't watch my c-section (he took one glance and that was enough!), so I couldn't fathom having a young child present for that.

Srhbgr · August 2015

I agree with some pp that you should maybe start with a video, but if she's still into it then I agree with OP that it sounds like a wonderful learning expierience. Have someone calming and knowledgeable their to explain what's going on to her and take her to the waiting room if she gets uncomfortable, but that sounds like an absolutely once in a lifetime expierience.

babyvelasquez2015 · August 2015

After reading all the comments I see there are mixed opinions. I think her seeing the process may help with a lot of understanding. No, babies don't just pop out or end up on your door step. It takes a lot of work. A lot of pain. It's part of life and the responsibility of sex. I like that someone gave their own personal experience of being 10 and watching their sibling being born. In the end, sounds like something that will depend on your comfort level. But I think if she is asking and wanting to then it is a good experience for her with the help of someone who can walk her in or out if she decides it becomes too much for her. Good luck!

mightyk23 · August 2015

My niece watched my her aunt give birth and she was only about 3 years old at that time. She didn't have any problems with it.

MamaBear345 · August 2015

Yes it will teach her that baby's don't just pop out of belly buttons but other parents at school might not want your daughter telling them how babies really come out.

on_the_move · August 2015

DS has asked to go to the hospital with us when the baby will be born, but at 6 I don't think that he is mature enough to handle everything that will be going on. I don't know about you, but at this point we haven't even fully explained the birds and the bees to him yet, just generally answering questions as he asks them. We also don't have anyone who can be at the hospital and take him out if thing start to get too intense for him or start turning south. The earliest I would consider including one of my children in a birth situation would be teen years.

komorebi · August 2015

CassidyWalles said:
Yes it will teach her that baby's don't just pop out of belly buttons but other parents at school might not want your daughter telling them how babies really come out.

They should avoid socializing their kids then. Kids find out all sorts of stuff and pass it on. It's part of peer interaction. I don't parent my kids based on what every other parent wants. My kids know about breasts being for food, where babies come from and the proper names for their body parts. Kids are less fascinated by things that aren't made taboo.

FirstTimer+2015 · August 2015

No ma'am... I wouldn't care if she was 15, let alone 7!!

Cupcakesandquilts · August 2015

To each their own, but for me the answer would be "hell no!"

haleygriggs · August 2015

Ummm no. Let her be a 7 year old kid. She will have plenty of time for adult things, like labor and delivery, later in life. Just my opinion.

christina4436 · August 2015

Too traumatic and young

mbyoung · August 2015

My daughter will be 7 when I have this little one, and honestly I wouldn't even think about letting her watch the delivery.

CCasey2015 · August 2015

haleygriggs said:
Ummm no. Let her be a 7 year old kid. She will have plenty of time for adult things, like labor and delivery, later in life. Just my opinion.

I totally agree. Kids are growing up entirely to fast these days! Let kids be kids.

nbpa3027 · August 2015

I personally think that 7 years old is too young. But you know your daughter best. I feel like if any one of my children were there at any age I would be concerned about how they were handling it at any point in time and not be able to focus on what I need to be focused on.

I would also be worried because things can turn very quickly and I wouldn't want to worry them. As adults it is a lot easier to understand the gravity of some situations and I would be concerned they would not be able to understand what is a serious or minor complication.

If you do have here there with you, I would also suggest having a person that is able to be with her at all times and answer any questions she has right away. If there is something that concerns her, it needs to be addressed immediately, not after the baby is cleaned up or when you, the mom, have time to address it with her.

If you are delivering at a hospital, they may not even allow her to be there due to her age. I would check with them before letting her know being there for the birth is even an option.

Knottie1445378742 · August 2015

I let our oldest DS watch the birth of our third child when he was 6. Biggest mistake I have made so far in raising him, I honestly think. He had asked to be there and we said no, but I was feeling ok after a few hours of checking in and thought it would be alright, so we let him join us. My mom was there to watch him, but in the excitement of the moment, no one thought to shield him from the delivery. He only looked for a second, but was truly traumatized and for weeks after said he was trying to forget the "big black hole" (I think it was DD crowning with a head of hair). Four years later, he is still not totally over it. He wants to be there to hold this one after she's born but said he'd never be in the room again.

MariahOBrien · August 2015

As some have already stated, I think it depends on your daughter and what you are comfortable with. Personally, I think it could be a really neat learning experience. If I had older children and they were interested in watching the birth of their sibling, I'd be all for it. I also think it would be a wise idea to have another family member present to take her out of the room if it gets to be too much, and to prep her with some videos.

MariahOBrien · August 2015

komorebi said:

CassidyWalles said:
Yes it will teach her that baby's don't just pop out of belly buttons but other parents at school might not want your daughter telling them how babies really come out.
They should avoid socializing their kids then. Kids find out all sorts of stuff and pass it on. It's part of peer interaction. I don't parent my kids based on what every other parent wants. My kids know about breasts being for food, where babies come from and the proper names for their body parts. Kids are less fascinated by things that aren't made taboo.

This! @komorebi, you're totally my soul sister.

missemmawoodhouse · August 2015

CassidyWalles said:
Yes it will teach her that baby's don't just pop out of belly buttons but other parents at school might not want your daughter telling them how babies really come out.

I thought you were deleting this app? You announced it on two boards.

1stComesLove421 · August 2015

If my daughter wasn't so young (she'll be 14 months when her sister arrives) I would let her.

I think it's a great learning experience! Especially for a little girl to know and understand what her body will someday be capable of. I say show her some videos, and explain to her what's happening. If she enjoys that and understands, go for it!

Krysta6 · August 2015

So my very first instinct was oh no!! But then when I started to think of a friends 7 year old and how curious she is about my growing body and the baby that will come out it made me think that if I had a 7 year old I may consider it (I'm a FTM though so what do I really know?). I think I would want to have an action plan in place for the nurse to manage to get the 7 yr. old child out if she sees something that may be an issue down the line. So I would want another caretaker other than your husband to work with the nurse. I feel like things can change pretty quickly and nurses know when its time to clear the room but I would want him/her to do it in a way that doesn't scare the child.

I think birth is a normal thing and so many times we make things into bigger things than they are for a kid. But I would definitely position her appropriately and make sure she understands mommy may scream at certain points. I did watch a very real and slow birth video and it took my like 2 weeks to get over so there is a risk of traumatizing the kid (but this video zoomed in on the vaginal delivery for like 15-20 minutes). You just never know!

MamaBear345 · August 2015

missemmawoodhouse said:

CassidyWalles said:
Yes it will teach her that baby's don't just pop out of belly buttons but other parents at school might not want your daughter telling them how babies really come out.
I thought you were deleting this app? You announced it on two boards.

I did delete this app. I took some time off. This is why if you click on my name you'll see I just joined Aug. 4th. But thanks for noticing:)

rue:D · August 2015

Only you know if your child can handle that or not. I think it could be a good learning experience if she's mature enough, but I agree with PP that you would need to have someone in the room that can take her out if it gets to be too much (for her OR for you).

AMagner · September 2015

Thank you for all the comments. She along with her sister will be staying in our house with grandma. It will just be daddy and I. We decided we just want it to be us and the hospital staff and we don't have anyone who would watch her at the hospital and donot want to risk him missing the birth.

aylove · September 2015

AMagner said:
Thank you for all the comments. She along with her sister will be staying in our house with grandma. It will just be daddy and I. We decided we just want it to be us and the hospital staff and we don't have anyone who would watch her at the hospital and donot want to risk him missing the birth.

Sounds like you made a good decision that works for your family, and that's all that counts! My 9 year old daughter is going to be in the room with me

. She's absolutely thrilled about being a big sister, we've talked at length about what birth can be like, and watched videos. We're super close, and I keep it real with her B-)

My mom will be there in case things go south or if she is uncomfortable, but I think the bond for her will be so strong after watching her be born

AMagner · October 2015

I wish I could have her there, but I know she would grow bored of waiting and might act up. My mom does not want to be there bc it was too hard for her to see me in pain. Good luck to you!!

Bcimkaela · October 2015

My at the time, five year old watched me give birth to our son in the hospital. It was great having her there and we had watched a couple pg birth videos together before hand so she wasn't surprised at me being in pain or being vocal. My midwife was amazing and let her help with minor things- also once we began to push things got a bit intense and I ended up tearing/ needing an episotomy once this was determined and before it was done, my midwife motioned my daughter behinde her while she did the episiotomy so my daughter wouldn't see that part. I was thankful that my midwife was thinking of her at that moment and I think if you do have your daughter with you to talk to your doctor or midwife before so they are aware and can plan on it. I was so thankful for her quick thinking in that moment and my daughter has nothing but good memories of seeing her brother being born. She felt like such a part of the process I think it really helped with the transition to not being an only child anymore! Good luck!

NathanheartsKim · October 2015

My oldest isn't quite 4 and I would totally let her stay as long as she wanted if she asked! It is a part of life and if you have someone that can take her out and talk with her if things get a little too much then I say go for it! Such an awesome experience for her to possibly witness her sibling being born!!

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