Bed rest issues

Re: Bed rest issues

• maiatene member

  August 2015

  Don't do it! It's hard for people especially men to understand the concept of bedrest but you and baby need it. Worst case take car of yourself and make the sure the girls are fed, but let him fend for himself.
  
  I'm in a similar situation and hubby didn't get it either until I started spending HIS money to get things done. I got a cleaning service, got groceries delivered and took cabs everywhere bc i "didn't feel comfortable driving w just me and the boy". I also had to pretty much yell at him just for him to acknowledge how serious this is.
  
  Now we are at a place where he will wash his dishes if he doesn't use paper plates and if I give him a specific list he'll get the groceries. I still have to hassle him to help with the boy, but he tries. I told him if he doesn't help only the boy and I will eat bc i can't take care of everything and make sure I'm following doctors orders.
  
  And I'm ABSOLUTELY NOT giving up my cleaning lady until the youngest is 7 lol!

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• koriemo member

  August 2015

  Can you have the doctor talk to him about what it means? Or even a nurse? I know that my insurance plan has a nurse that is on call 24/7. When I was put on pelvic rest, my husband didn't understand. I had the doctor put it in writing for him.

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• nbpa3027 member

  August 2015

  I would suggest him having a discussion with your doctor about what bed rest really means. It is really important that you are not doing all of those things you are helping out with.
  
  My husband is the same way with the kids. Usually he starts to lose patience with them after about two hours when they are really just being kids. Half the time he forgets to feed them--he thinks that since he isn't hungry, they aren't either, which of course just makes it even more difficult.
  
  I would start getting as much help as you can from others as well because the extra stress will take a toll on him as well. Do you have grocery delivery around you? You can also order groceries through Amazon pantry.
  
  Maybe you can have some friends over and help prepare a bunch of freezer/crockpot meals. And I agree with hiring someone to help clean. Sometimes you can even hire hourly, so you could just have someone do whatever you think is needed that day.

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• J1D member

  August 2015

  Around here Safeway is the grocery store that delivers. Total life saver!
  I've also found the app Out of Milk to be helpful for sending hubby to the store. Its a grocery shopping list app that even searches local stores for specials and you can add directly to the list from there. You can also scan the bar codes of things you already have at home too to get the specific brand info. If he gets the app too you can sync or if he doesn't you can just text or email the list to him. It's been helping A LOT around here.
  
  As far as with the kids, can you make him a chart? Lunch at this time, snack at this time. Today lunch is xyz and the snack is blah blah blah. Basically play school teacher and leave him, the substitute, a detailed lesson plan.
  
  If your doc has put you on bedrest you NEED to be on bed rest! No up and down stairs, no helping. He is a big boy and he needs to figure it out. You are allowed to be a little dramatic and explain to him that bedrest is basically so you and the baby don't die. If he doesn't get it I totally agree with pps - call your doc and have them explain it or email over instructions/explanations. Bedrest is very serious. I think sometimes guys just really don't get it, like they think it's so your feet don't hurt or something. It's frustrating as all get out trying to explain things to my husband sometimes. Not the same time thing but the other day I was having some crazy pains and I was telling him about them and he absently mindedly have me a half hearted "I'm sorry," and I lost my mind on him. "No, not 'I'm sorry', f@#*%&$ pay attention! I am having pain that might be a problem that requires medical attention. You need to listen when your pregnant wife tells you something might be wrong, so she and your baby don't f@#*$%& die! Get your head out of your a$$!" Yeah, he was actually pretty embarrassed and apologized and then actually listened to what I was trying to tell him. Apparently sometimes you have to get a little aggressive/dramatic to get ideas through their thick skulls.
  
  As far as meals for you, I've lately been making stacks of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It's not fancy but my husband will pretty much let us both starve if I don't have food made and I'm too tired to deal right now. So I make maybe 8 sandwiches at a time and put them in the fridge. If you have a little cooler you can have your husband stock it in the morning with cheeses sticks, sandwiches and something to drink. Then keep some crackers or nuts upstairs too. Not fancy. And it'll get boring, but at least you won't starve. Hopefully on a good day someone will bring you up something better to eat.

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• Eslade14 member

  August 2015

  Thanks guys. I went crazy dramatic and lost it this morning and I think he may be getting the point a little better. Not completely thought because he still said god I had to throw out some of the food in the fridge why didn't you use it?! Hmm oh maybe because I was in the hospital for 3 days! He means well but just doesn't get it. I wish we had grocery service. I live in the boondocks have no family or friends here so it's going to be a long bed rest. I do have a sitter who is awesome and am thinking I may just pay her extra to go to the store and make a few frozen meals etc.
  PB &J is a great idea. That will at least fill me up and give me some protein. I have a mini fridge upstairs thankfully so I'm going to have the sitter stock it with some food.
  

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• J1D member

  August 2015

  And while it isn't the healthiest your family can live of of pb&j, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, cereal and macaroni and cheese. They may not be happy but they will survive. If your babysitter can help with meal prep ziplock baggies or small tupperwares with carrot sticks, celery and/or fruit is great. When I do meal prep for my husband I have to do this. A whole bag of carrots and celery in the crisper? He'll let that sit in there til it rots and cry about there being nothing to eat. Take the same 2 bags though, wash them and cut them and divide them into individual snack packs? He'll gobble them up. Same thing with pb&j. There's a loaf of bread, a jar of jelly and a jar of peanut butter- but there's nothing to eat.... If there is a stack of sandwiches already made in the fridge? Then he grabs a sandwich and a veggie/fruit snack pack and he eats them. Basically anything I want him to eat I have to pre assemble and put at eye level.

  Do you eat tuna fish? You could also have her mix up a batch of tuna fish once a week for a few sandwiches for your mini fridge. Or buy some of those ready made tuna and crackers snack packs that don't need to be refrigerated even. Not the most delicious, but easy.

  I would keep a box of cereal and some paper bowls and plastic spoons upstairs and a small container of milk in your fridge.

  Smoothies/nutrition drinks like Orgain are great too. Orgain is designed as a full on meal replacement and is packed with nutrients. They are a little pricey but taste decent and really help fill you up. You can keep them in the room and just put one or 2 at a time in your mini fridge. These were a lifesaver to me during the first trimester when my morning sickness was out of control. https://www.amazon.com/Orgain-Creamy-Chocolate-11-oz-Container/dp/B003FDG4K4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1439085460&sr=8-1&keywords=orgain  Half a pb&J and one of these and you should feel like you got some food in you and you'll know you got some good nutrition.

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