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Resenting DH

surfingmamasurfingmama member
in July 2015 Moms
the first two weeks with baby he was amazing. Always helpful and supportive and I was so thankful. Now, 5 weeks in, it's a different story. I don't mind him having personal time but golfing twice a weekend. Surfing before work and going to his weekly shuffleboard league has really made me resent his freedom. I don't know if I'm jealous because I can't physically keep up or because I'm stuck with the baby 24/7 because of breastfeeding (and I do pump). I don't want to be that wife who doesn't allow their husband to have a life but I want some me time too!!! Anyone else feeling this way??
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Re: Resenting DH

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    ckrandackranda member
    Yes! DH works like 16 hours a day and actually picked up overtime on one of his off days this week. And now today he's helping a friend move. I love how much of a hard worker he is and that he works hard for our family but I'm exhausted and I think he thinks it's easy. Glad to know I'm not the only one.
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    kyrenorakyrenora member
    Just this morning, I put together a household to-do list in a spreadsheet on Google Docs and shared it with him. The chores are just getting out of control, we are falling so far behind and he is not at all proactive about getting things done. I figured this way I could at least stop nagging him if he had something to look at.
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    babymorgan72015babymorgan72015 member
    Talk to him. I talked to my hubby about what I needed from him and he's stepped up to the plate. We had the discussion that he's more than happy to help but he doesn't always know how to help so having it spelled out for him takes the guess work away.
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    irsamirsam member
    My husband ignores me 24/7 it's depressing. I have begged for attention and get 0. I totally get it. It sucks ass and so do men.
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    shaley29shaley29 member
    I'm totally jealous at the amount of sleep he gets. He's back to work so I don't expect him to get up with us, but on weekends it would be nice to have the extra help at night..well last night I guess we were keeping him up so he went down and slept on the couch while I dealt with a fussy baby! Totally not talking to him today
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    pandd10513pandd10513 member
    I'm EBF so I stay up/get up all night with her. He's back at work so I let him sleep. Once we introduce the bottle he will have to get up to feed her while I pump at night. He knows this, so I'm letting him enjoy his full nights sleep now.

    He did say today he wanted to go golfing before he forgot how to golf. I just looked at him and laughed. I'm laughing now thinking about it. He can go spend 5 hours away from the house and baby playing a game when I can go spend 5 hours away from house and baby to go shopping or have dinner/drinks with friends or do anything other than change diapers, feed her, and get spit up on.
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    YoungwithraYoungwithra member
    I'm in the same boat, DH picked up a second full time job, I only see him 3-4 hours a day, those hours he sleeps, I'm grateful he's bringing more income in but I'm with the baby 24/7, he does help a bit during the weekends... A mean A BIT LOL this morning baby was crying for a bottle so I woke up and asked him can he feed him & he said "can't I'm going back to sleep" ~X(
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    surfingmamasurfingmama member
    pandd10513 said:


    He did say today he wanted to go golfing before he forgot how to golf. I just looked at him and laughed. I'm laughing now thinking about it. He can go spend 5 hours away from the house and baby playing a game when I can go spend 5 hours away from house and baby to go shopping or have dinner/drinks with friends or do anything other than change diapers, feed her, and get spit up on.

    Omg I HATE golf!!! DH played in a tournament and last weekend he lost in the semi finals after being away for 10 hours total on Saturday and Sunday. He was so depressed about it. I get it but at the same time I wanna say #firstworldproblems
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    LibbyC730LibbyC730 member
    Haha...DH and I got golfing every year on our anniversary, which is sneaking up next week! We only do 9, cuz we're both terrible, but I'm glad his folks live right next to the course so we can be there to nurse right before/after.
    DH is out of town for work and can be gone for up to 4 and 6 weeks at a time. Right now he's only 5 hours away, so he come home on the weekends, but didn't last weekend. He's gone to sporting events after work, drove 8 hrs Sunday for a cookout with friends, and goes out to eat several times a week. I understand it goes with the territory of his job, but still! I sit at home trying not to spend anything and keep little man happy! It does get a little frustrating, especially when he comes home exhausted on the weekends. He'll be home for the first two weeks I'm back at work, but he was home the first week and a half with us and it was more a vacation for him than helpful. Cross your fingers for us! At least this time around we'll have daycare so daddy can have a break and hopefully be more willing to help out!
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    randa923randa923 member
    My hubby is great with helping out-as long as I tell him exactly what needs to be done. Because somehow he can't see the laundry piling up or the dog hair on the floors without it being pointed out to him. Yes it seems like I'm watching tv all day but he can't seem to understand how hard and time consuming breast feeding is. I'll give him credit though he does cook dinner every nigh-as long as I pull something out.
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    SBbabyonboardSBbabyonboard member
    randa923 said:

    My hubby is great with helping out-as long as I tell him exactly what needs to be done. Because somehow he can't see the laundry piling up or the dog hair on the floors without it being pointed out to him. Yes it seems like I'm watching tv all day but he can't seem to understand how hard and time consuming breast feeding is. I'll give him credit though he does cook dinner every nigh-as long as I pull something out.

    My hubby is the exact same way, he's a hard worker and have to give him credit as he cooks dinner every single night for us and if I ask him to do something then he's pretty good at doing it or getting to it within a day or two. Although I don't appreciate the comment I got the other night saying I was home all day and how did I forget to feed the dog dinner when I have nothing else to do.It was an honest mistake and please don't say it as if I'm sitting here doing nothing all day when I EBF! That is a full time job in itself! Men say silly things sometimes.
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