Donor Eggs

wapeters13 · August 2015

Hello ladies,

Has anyone on here used donor eggs? My 2nd fresh cycle of IVF is failing and the embryo that we have is not growing. We were talked to about using donor eggs today and I'm devastated.

Can I ask you ladies what your thoughts on donor eggs are? My sister is willing to donate her eggs to me, which makes me feel a bit better.

I just want some other thoughts on this.

Thank you☺

jnissa · August 2015

We haven't yet, but we're ready to go there if this IVF cycle doesn't take. We're actually already on a list for non-anonymous donors so that we've already got the process started if this IVF doesn't yield anything.

If I had a sister who would donate eggs, I would do it in a heartbeat. The biggest issue we faced with donor genetics was that there are lots of case studies where children of anonymous donors struggle with the idea that they don't know their genetic makeup. But if your sister is willing to donate, that makes the conversation with them much easier and their sense of identity much easier.

wapeters13 · August 2015

Thank you so much @jnissa! For some reason I am having a really hard time accepting this, although your post made me feel better. I really wanted to use my own eggs but do not think that I can take anymore heartache mentally, physically or emotionally. My doctor is amazing and we really trust what he says. Thank you again and sending you much baby dust!

przemosbabe · August 2015

To answer your question, I don't agree with donor conception at all, but I won't elaborate because I don't want to offend you or anyone else and I don't want to hurt your feelings. What I will say is I think you should do some research from the perspective of people that are donor conceived, the donors themselves & I guess the people who use the donor eggs or sperm. If you look at the website called anonymous us.org you can read experience and stories from the donor conceived, parents who used donor conception, and people working in doctors offices, donors etc. Research it from all aspects. Now for an unasked for opinion, I think two cycles is not enough to decide you need donor eggs. I was told by a doctor before ever even doing IVF to use donor eggs and turns out that doctor was wrong. I don't know exactly why your doctor told you that but there could be many reasons the cycle doesn't go well and that could include a protocol that was not right for you. Is that what they think your fertility issue is? Egg quality? Your eggs don't divide? Are they sure it's not the sperm? Why did they say this to you? I can't really give my unasked for opinion without knowing more. Some people do numerous IVF cycles before they reach the decision of donor eggs and others decide they want to go for donor eggs after a cycle or two because they want to spend the money where the odds are higher & get off the roller coaster or they are confidant that it will never work with their eggs. I can't advise you on something I don't believe in, but there is a third party reproduction board on the bump and there are other places though out the internet where you will get lots of support and advise from people that are in your own situation. I'm sorry you're in here at all and I hope my comments aren't hurtful. That's not my intentions at all.

przemosbabe · August 2015

@jnissa I think you are wonderful & I'm so incredibly happy to read that you consider the feelings of the donor conceived in your decision! Non anonymous donations is awesome & not that you care about my opinion but I fully support anyone who is going the route that you are! I wish you and your family the absolute best and hope you get all of your hearts desires. Your post really made my heart jump with joy for your future baby if you do use a donor.

Grace213 · August 2015

I think it's totally your call. I wouldn't let the dr push you to donor eggs so soon when you think you might still be able to do it with your own. Have faith.

But it does sound awesome that your sister will be willing to help!

While what the pp said is a good point, I wouldn't completely rule out egg donation from anonymous people either. After I deliver #2 at the end of the year I wholeheartedly am going through with egg donation for as many cycles as they will allow. (6 at most, sometimes less depending on the person.) Where I live I do believe they only do anonymous donations. But, I want someone to have their happy ending like I've had mine. I'm healthy, my family is healthy, and there's nothing genetically "wrong", for lack of better words atm, that runs in my family. If that be the route someone takes, I'm happy to help!

Long story short, whatever direction you end up between your SO, you, and your Dr, good luck! Praying for you and yours!

wapeters13 · August 2015

@Grace213 that is so selfless that you are going to donate your eggs and I think that it is beautiful. In my heart I know that my eggs are the issue and I am slowly accepting this. We will see if my sister is a good canidate and if she is, then we will go that route. If she is not then we will most definitely be using another form of donor. I do not see anything wrong with it morally and we will be completely open with the child about it. I'm excited for where ever our journey takes us and I wish you all the best!

chicagobride_07 · August 2015

There are a lot of resources for this, there is a 3rd party board on the bump but unfortunately since the mass exodus it is very quiet now. Best of luck in your decision. Just realize even DE does not guarantee success, if there are issues issues causing RPL they need to be thoroughly investigated first. For me this was the best decision, but it honestly came down to living child free or pursuing this in my case. It was by far the best decision I ever made.

kyethra · August 2015

I will use donor eggs if a different ivf protocol doesn't work. Honestly, in some ways I like the idea of donor eggs better than using mine-- I have a learning disability and worry about passing it on. DH would really prefer to use my eggs and of course it is all very expensive even with insurance coverage of infertility. I have also looked into adoption but that seems so much less controlled from the ip perspective and it is even more expensive. I love that the option is out there. I would prefer for our next ivf attempt to go as planned, but if my ovaries again do not have an adequate response we will move ahead with donor eggs.

satininnyc · August 2015

Hi there, I completely know how you feel. I have 4 failed IVF cycles, 2 were miscarriages - I only produce 2 eggs every cycle. It's heart breaking. I don't know how much more I can take. We are looking into Donor Egg, but I want to make sure it is for the right reasons...not just because I am exhausted and the thought of doing another cycle makes me vomit...I am also 37 years old...I am not sure if that is considered young for a donor egg.

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