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December 2015 Moms
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Article" "Admit it! All mums prefer their sons to their daughters..."

ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
in December 2015 Moms
So I read this article and I don't know how I feel about it. I'm sharing it with the rest of you because I'm curious how you guys feel about it.



Let's talk about this. 
- Do you ladies think this is something appropriate to share with the masses, if at all? 
- Is anyone else curious about the ramifications this has for her daughters?

Please ask your own questions as well.

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Re: Article" "Admit it! All mums prefer their sons to their daughters..."

  • taysuntaysun member
    I'm about to read it but I have to say that it being from the daily mail sets off warning signals. Its not a very good source at all, so I imagine it'll be a horrifying read.
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  • littleSkittle14littleSkittle14 member
    Ive heard other moms of boys, who also have girls, say things like this. When I was a teacher and expecting my first, one of the parents in a conference told me "well the girl stuff is more fun, but there's nothing like the love of a little boy"

    I do think it's perfectly natural to find a relationship with one child "easier" than another. Especially in families where personalities between the kids are very different.

    What that means to me, is that a moms relationship with each of her kids should look different based on their mother/child relationship. And there can never be favorites. The children should never have reason to question who is "loved most" or who is the "favorite".

    My moms relationship with my brother is like this woman describes. He's her "little boy" and she feels very motherly towards him... Even though he is 24. They talk on the phone daily. She texts him throughout the day. They have dinner "mother-son" dates. I don't have any of these things with my mom. She treats me more as a friend, which is what I prefer. But it is still awkward.

    For the longest time, my brother and I had a running joke about him being the "favorite" because we both knew it was true. Obviously inappropriate and unhealthy.

    I have a 15m DD. My personality meshes so well with hers, and i know things will be different when another child enters the scene. But I am genuinely excited for a relationship with both of them, and encouraging a relationship/friendship between them - which may be a good solution to prevent perceived favoritism...
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  • redfallonredfallon member
    Yeah, Daily Mail is the National Enquirer of the UK.

    Jamie


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  • littleSkittle14littleSkittle14 member
    On a related note, in my college program, we studied the differences between boys and girls and teachers in the classroom. If I can find a video I'll post it.

    Basically, the behavioral expectations were higher for girls and teachers were more likely to respond more harshly to misbehavior from girls than from boys. Also teAchers tended to tolerate more "goofiness" from boys... It was all subconscious. But very interesting. Perhaps related to the article you posted?
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  • ACarter0914ACarter0914 member
    I don't agree but I technically don't have my son yet either. I can't even imagine loving anyone more then my daughter, even my son. I'll love them the same but differently because they are different sexes and I'm expecting this. I love being challenged by my daughter. It's something new everyday (even if she is a pain). With that being said I can't imagine that I'm not going to be challenged by my son. Especially in his teenage years when I'm sure he's going to become my rebel child like his father and I (speculation).

    An ex of mine is very unnaturally close to his mother. He does no wrong in her eyes and takes this to the extreme. I was pregnant with my daughter, he was cheating on me and it ended up being my fault. Straight from his moms mouth.

    I really want to be able to discipline my son and not play favorites. It's actually something I really worry about and think about often. My mom and I (now that I'm older) have an amazing relationship. The teenage years were rough but we always say that we just can't "live" with each other. We text everyday and she has been someone whose stood by me no matter what. My dad on the other hand is a completely different story. I'm excited to be apart of my daughters life when she gets older. Has her first child, when she gets married, everything!

    This totally sounds like I'm already playing favorites, great.
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  • AlejandraN2AlejandraN2 member
    The writer of this article is so obnoxious it makes me want to slap her. And I quote "The sonographer had mistaken me for the kind of woman who wanted a lengthy preamble on her growing baby’s development, and she waffled on and on about fingers and toes and the size of head when — actually — what I wanted to hear was one thing and one thing only.
    It was all I could do not to yell: ‘Open your legs and let me see what’s there.’ To the foetus, obviously, not the scanner" 

    Argh!

    With that said, I've often heard and seen that boys can be easier on their moms and moms/daughters fight more especially in the teenage years. But once you go past that stage, women tend to be closer to their moms, especially when they start having families of their own (always exceptions of course but from the majority of things I've seen). I think my mom always will have a soft spot for my brother but her and I talk a lot more and are a lot closer than her and my brother are. I think, as obnoxious as the writer is, there is a certain truth that sometimes moms may be harder on their daughters, but i wouldn't ever say that this affects level of love you have for each sex. 
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    @littleskittle14, hmm never really thought about how teachers have different expectations for boys and girls. But the more I think about it, you're right...there is a difference. I wonder if this article stance ties into that.
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  • littleSkittle14littleSkittle14 member
    ChiccoBeanz said:

    @littleskittle14, hmm never really thought about how teachers have different expectations for boys and girls. But the more I think about it, you're right...there is a difference. I wonder if this article stance ties into that.

    I'm sure there is some sort of connection... I know as a teacher, I grew to love the kids in my class fiercely. Even the ones that drove me crazy :p not too different from mothering!

    The experiment was only done with female teachers (that I remember) so it would also be interesting to see how/if a male teacher would do things differently.
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  • Ken122014Ken122014 member
    edited August 2015
    littleSkittle14 said:

    ChiccoBeanz said:

    @littleskittle14, hmm never really thought about how teachers have different expectations for boys and girls. But the more I think about it, you're right...there is a difference. I wonder if this article stance ties into that.

    I'm sure there is some sort of connection... I know as a teacher, I grew to love the kids in my class fiercely. Even the ones that drove me crazy :p not too different from mothering!

    The experiment was only done with female teachers (that I remember) so it would also be interesting to see how/if a male teacher would do things differently.
    It's again about gender roles/expectations. Boys are allowed to speak out in class without raising their hand, but if a girl does it, she gets in trouble. The mom in this article says something similar (I skimmed so can't write exactly what she said) but something like, when my son does this it's cute and ok but when my daughter does the same thing it drives me crazy (totally paraphrasing probably not even correctly) but I think the two are very related.

    This mom clearly had very defined gender roles going into her pregnancies and that influenced the way she raises her children. I get that from reading between the lines that I only skimmed, so people may be able to easily argue against that thought. But, in my opinion, that is why her relationship is so different with her boy than all her girls.

    Eta- also, how awful will it be when the girls read this?? Their pictures are in it, they will read it soon!
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  • LC122LC122 member
    littleSkittle14 said:

    ChiccoBeanz said:

    @littleskittle14, hmm never really thought about how teachers have different expectations for boys and girls. But the more I think about it, you're right...there is a difference. I wonder if this article stance ties into that.

    I'm sure there is some sort of connection... I know as a teacher, I grew to love the kids in my class fiercely. Even the ones that drove me crazy :p not too different from mothering!

    The experiment was only done with female teachers (that I remember) so it would also be interesting to see how/if a male teacher would do things differently.

    There is a lot of research that supports same sex education. One of the charter schools in our area has single-sex classes written into their charter. The benefits are even higher for girls than for boys.
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  • adbradingadbrading member
    Just my 0.02. My mother and I have an incredible relationship. She's grown to be my best friend and I tell her everything. I have a brother who is almost 8 years younger than me we are extremely close. We tell each other everything. He lives with my husband and I. Every time my mom comes over to visit she always hugs him a little longer, I swear she could cry every time she sees him. It's so funny. We both make fun of her for it. He loves our mother so much too of course. I don't know if it's because he's the baby or because coming from an Italian family the mother takes care of and baby the sons a little longer while teaching their daughters to take care of their men (probably why my brother lives with me lol). I can honestly say though, that my mother loves both of us the exact same amount. Her love for me is never questioned at all. We just have a different type of relationship than her and my brother do. So I think that's what this boils down to. Mothers and sons have a completley different kind of relationship than mothers and daughters.
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    LC122 said:
    @littleskittle14, hmm never really thought about how teachers have different expectations for boys and girls. But the more I think about it, you're right...there is a difference. I wonder if this article stance ties into that.
    I'm sure there is some sort of connection... I know as a teacher, I grew to love the kids in my class fiercely. Even the ones that drove me crazy :p not too different from mothering! The experiment was only done with female teachers (that I remember) so it would also be interesting to see how/if a male teacher would do things differently.
    There is a lot of research that supports same sex education. One of the charter schools in our area has single-sex classes written into their charter. The benefits are even higher for girls than for boys.
    Although I am not a fan of most charter schools, at least not where I am from and being a SpEd teacher, I agree that same sex learning can be highly beneficial. I've read and seen it work well particularly with Math and Science courses. Some public schools have adopted this practice. I think it she be more mainstream and an option for families. I feel like we'd gain a lot of ground for the kids and that we'd have less behavioral problems as well. 
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