DH has had friends suggest having a daddy diaper shower and he is really excited about the idea. Would it be tacky for him to host it himself? He's never been to one so we don't really know the etiquette or lack thereof.
He was thinking of inviting some guys over to our house to watch an a&m game, drink shiner, and maybe play some Mario kart. Thoughts?
Bypassing all the bullcrap about how it's tacky for a father-to-be to host his own diaper party, I say go for it. If his friends mentioned it, and sound willing to go, then why not? Men honestly don't care about the etiquette of baby showers and I can't even name a single one who would say they wouldn't go watch a game and drink just because they were asked to bring a less than $20 pack of diapers. Honestly, if anyone is the type to say they wouldn't go or that it's "tacky," they really aren't the type to hang out, drink and watch the game anyway. If the father-to-be wants to be included for his part in creating your LO (because heavens forbid he be a part of the actual baby shower -- the etiquette gods would strike you down!!?!!? note the sarcasm), then he should.
Fine, sure, let's treat it like a regular baby shower. So, first of all, they need to ask one of his friends to host it (tacky, right? even though they suggested it). Then they will need to order some invitations and make sure that those get sent out at least 6-8 weeks in advance. And even though it's a daddy diaper shower, make sure that they don't mention anything about diapers because that would also be tacky.
Tacky, tacky, tacky.
Sorry OP, I guess the whole idea is a big tacky mess and your SO will not be able to have his daddy diaper shower (that his friends suggested) without all of his friends ostracizing him and you for the rest of your lives. It's probably going to start some huge turf war between you guys and all his former friends and your children and grandchildren will have to keep fighting the good fight all throughout the rest of time. :ar!
There is a website that also helps to plan them that's mentioned in the article: https://www.manshower.net/
Ok, in response to your first paragraph, if they are going to treat it like a baby shower, then one of them would have to throw it. Even if they suggested it, if no one is willing to throw it, then he doesn't get one. Same with a baby shower. If you're throwing your own baby shower, that's a whole other story for a different thread.
Second, yes they'd have to get invites.
Third, it shouldn't be called a Daddy Diaper Shower. There should be no mention of diapers. Just a shower. People will bring whatever gift they want because it's rude to dictate how and what your guests spend their money on.
So your whole first paragraph is moot because you clearly don't understand how it works. But thanks for playing.
------------------------------------- Maybe YOU don't know how it works and are confused bc it's not a regular baby shower. Therefore, regular baby shower rules do not apply.
Recap: The title of this thread is called "daddy diaper shower" and is what OP's husband's friends were asking about. Maybe, just maybe, diapers may be something that's a part of it. It may be a little weird to not mention anything about diapers at a daddy diaper shower.
If it's not your thing, fine. But don't go throwing misplaced etiquette at it and making it a big deal.
Fine, sure, let's treat it like a regular baby shower. So, first of all, they need to ask one of his friends to host it (tacky, right? even though they suggested it). Then they will need to order some invitations and make sure that those get sent out at least 6-8 weeks in advance. And even though it's a daddy diaper shower, make sure that they don't mention anything about diapers because that would also be tacky.
Tacky, tacky, tacky.
Sorry OP, I guess the whole idea is a big tacky mess and your SO will not be able to have his daddy diaper shower (that his friends suggested) without all of his friends ostracizing him and you for the rest of your lives. It's probably going to start some huge turf war between you guys and all his former friends and your children and grandchildren will have to keep fighting the good fight all throughout the rest of time. :ar!
There is a website that also helps to plan them that's mentioned in the article: https://www.manshower.net/
Ok, in response to your first paragraph, if they are going to treat it like a baby shower, then one of them would have to throw it. Even if they suggested it, if no one is willing to throw it, then he doesn't get one. Same with a baby shower. If you're throwing your own baby shower, that's a whole other story for a different thread.
Second, yes they'd have to get invites.
Third, it shouldn't be called a Daddy Diaper Shower. There should be no mention of diapers. Just a shower. People will bring whatever gift they want because it's rude to dictate how and what your guests spend their money on.
So your whole first paragraph is moot because you clearly don't understand how it works. But thanks for playing.
-------------------------------------
Maybe YOU don't know how it works and are confused bc it's not a regular baby shower. Therefore, regular baby shower rules do not apply.
::pats head::
You are correct, it's not a regular baby shower. It's a made-up party created by people who just have to celebrate every single thing about their pregnancy and need to find more creative ways to get their loved ones to shell out money on them.
But if it IS in fact, a shower of any kind, it follows the standard shower rules. Same as bridal showers.
Rules/ Tips for throwing a Daddy Diaper Shower for you Ms. Queen of Etiquette, the ultimate manners police chef. This is a new thing, new rules, new code, catered to guys. The stereotypical "DUDE" that we all know.
Fine, sure, let's treat it like a regular baby shower. So, first of all, they need to ask one of his friends to host it (tacky, right? even though they suggested it). Then they will need to order some invitations and make sure that those get sent out at least 6-8 weeks in advance. And even though it's a daddy diaper shower, make sure that they don't mention anything about diapers because that would also be tacky.
Tacky, tacky, tacky.
Sorry OP, I guess the whole idea is a big tacky mess and your SO will not be able to have his daddy diaper shower (that his friends suggested) without all of his friends ostracizing him and you for the rest of your lives. It's probably going to start some huge turf war between you guys and all his former friends and your children and grandchildren will have to keep fighting the good fight all throughout the rest of time. :ar!
There is a website that also helps to plan them that's mentioned in the article: https://www.manshower.net/
Ok, in response to your first paragraph, if they are going to treat it like a baby shower, then one of them would have to throw it. Even if they suggested it, if no one is willing to throw it, then he doesn't get one. Same with a baby shower. If you're throwing your own baby shower, that's a whole other story for a different thread.
Second, yes they'd have to get invites.
Third, it shouldn't be called a Daddy Diaper Shower. There should be no mention of diapers. Just a shower. People will bring whatever gift they want because it's rude to dictate how and what your guests spend their money on.
So your whole first paragraph is moot because you clearly don't understand how it works. But thanks for playing.
------------------------------------- Maybe YOU don't know how it works and are confused bc it's not a regular baby shower. Therefore, regular baby shower rules do not apply.
::pats head::
You are correct, it's not a regular baby shower. It's a made-up party created by people who just have to celebrate every single thing about their pregnancy and need to find more creative ways to get their loved ones to shell out money on them.
But if it IS in fact, a shower of any kind, it follows the standard shower rules. Same as bridal showers.
----------------------------------- Please chill. You're entitled to your opinion but when everyone is saying the exact opposite of what you are it might be time to step back and admit you are wrong. Good lord.
Rules/ Tips for throwing a Daddy Diaper Shower for you Ms. Queen of Etiquette, the ultimate manners police chef. This is a new thing, new rules, new code, catered to guys. The stereotypical "DUDE" that we all know.
By all means, have your daddy showers, tell your guests what they need to buy you, and have the guest of honor throw it. Do what you want to do. But it's still rude. That's all I've been trying to say.
It's perfectly okay to have an opinion, like all of us here have. But don't go telling everyone they are wrong just because they don't agree with you. You think it's rude, fine. Others think it's totally okay and a fun idea. Why not just leave it at that instead of quoting everyone that has a different view?
I don't quite know why etiquette doesn't apply to a post titled "Daddy diaper shower etiquette"? Particularly when the OP asked if it was tacky.
It is tacky to host any event that's purpose is to give you gifts. Asking for specific gifts is tacky. If the purpose of the event is just to hangout and have fun, then you do not need to request the guests bring something.
If you personally do not find it tacky, well rock on, but people who do find it so are not wrong.It is against etiquette. Aside from what I posted earlier, I also find these distasteful because diapers are a necessity, and it rubs me the wrong way to hold a "drive" for your benefit. I expect to take a pack of diapers or other basic necessities to a charity concert or event as a buy in, not a party. There is nothing wrong with gifting someone diapers, but like money, no one needs to be told diapers are an appreciated gift.
LMAO! Are any of your husbands like mine? It sounds to me like this is a great excuse for the guys to get together and watch football and drink beer. Guarantee you all that if my DH and his friends bought diapers for one another, they would probably range in size from newborn to Depends. That is, if the wives stay out of it. Which it sounds like they intend to do here.
*ETA- I wouldn't look at this as a gift giving event because I'm sure that nobody would bring anything useful. If you told them what brand and size diapers to bring that might be different. ;-)
LMAO! Are any of your husbands like mine? It sounds to me like this is a great excuse for the guys to get together and watch football and drink beer. Guarantee you all that if my DH and his friends bought diapers for one another, they would probably range in size from newborn to Depends. That is, if the wives stay out of it. Which it sounds like they intend to do here.
Lol my boyfriend thought the numbers on the boxes were poundage, not size. His friends would have ended up with a lot of size 5's.
There are some serious baby shower party nazis that just sit around and get all offended that people might not have graduated from an antiquated manners school. Man I wish I had such minuscule problems in my life that my biggest concern is what someone would think of myself or DH threw our own party, and God forbid asked for gifts, oh the horror.
I think if men and their friends want to celebrate a baby then by all means do it, do it however you want. Embrace the anarchy!!! Real friends don't care if you are tacky, the love you because you are tacky.
OP as many have mentioned I say go for it. If you think about it it's really about celebrating dad. Cost of diapers vs booze will most likely almost even out anyways so it is not asking for a hand out.
There are some serious baby shower party nazis that just sit around and get all offended that people might not have graduated from an antiquated manners school. Man I wish I had such minuscule problems in my life that my biggest concern is what someone would think of myself or DH threw our own party, and God forbid asked for gifts, oh the horror.
I think if men and their friends want to celebrate a baby then by all means do it, do it however you want. Embrace the anarchy!!! Real friends don't care if you are tacky, the love you because you are tacky.
Hey, can you please not use the term Nazi in such a flippant matter? A disagreement over shower etiquette is not "Nazi" like behavior and using it as such is extremely dismissive of the actual horrors committed by Nazis.
OP if I had come on here and created a thread called "baby shower invite etiquette" and said "should I have my registry info on the baby shower invite?" I'd get the same response you did. My sister put my registry information on the invites. It may be rude and tacky according to the baby shower gods, but really, it's the norm where I live and with my family and friends. My point being, etiquette and expectations are different based on people's experiences and region they live in. So, anyways, do what feels right for your family and friends!
So I'm nutural on this subject but for all the people that are against throwing their own baby shower. How do you go about throwing your child a birthday party? Isn't it the same concept?
So I'm nutural on this subject but for all the people that are against throwing their own baby shower. How do you go about throwing your child a birthday party? Isn't it the same concept?
Because the purpose of a birthday party is not to give gifts, it is to celebrate the person becoming older. Many people choose to bring gifts but that's not what it's purpose is for.
Same thing goes for weddings, they are not gift giving events but to celebrate the union of two people. People choose to bring gifts but that's not the purpose of the wedding.
The purpose of showers is to 'shower the guest of honor with gifts.' Hence why it's a) rude to host your own and b) rude to dictate what you guests should give you.
Am I the only one whose husband would have ZERO desire for a party like this? Mine would look at me like I lost my mind if I suggest his friends bring diapers when they come to hang out. IMO, this type of party is just...odd? I agree it's gift grabby and just weird. You don't throw your own shower, or diaper party for that matter. But I'm also one that cringes when I read women say they need a shower because they have big ticket items they need.
I hope you found the answer to your actual question OP. This always happens when the word "shower" is used in a title... that is when the search function betrays you. Hopefully you got some good laughs from the snark too.
So I'll share something with you. Many times in my life I have had to receive help from others whether it be accepting free things, or even asking for money to survive. Did I like it? Hell no. But each time I have been working my ass off and still not making ends meet. I graduated college with my associates in the same month that I graduated high school thanks to dual enroll programs at the community college and was living on my own at 17 years old. A year and a half later I had my bachelors and had passed the NCLEX exam, for which I needed help paying for- board exams aren't cheap. I now have a job of my own but when I moved all the way across the country with nothing not even a car I had to receive help then too. And yes I had a baby shower, not one that I threw on my own, but I graciously accepted gifts, even ones I was uncomfortable accepting. And I guarantee you, not one person I have ever accepted free things from sees me as GROSS. You really need to look deep inside yourself and ask yourself what it is that makes this stuff such a huge issue and deal with it instead of projecting it on a board full of women who are asking questions about something that may be normal where they live, even it it's "tacky" where you live.
Normally I ignore you, sometimes I even agree with you, but this comment went WAY too far. You know what is gross? The way you speak to people on this forum. Of all of the threads I see you jump to give your "input" only ONCE have I EVER seen you give helpful and useful advice or support. Now no, I don't see every thread you post on so I could be missing a lot of the support you give people, but from what I do see you don't seem to really care about anything other than "perfect etiquette."
So I'll share something with you. Many times in my life I have had to receive help from others whether it be accepting free things, or even asking for money to survive. Did I like it? Hell no. But each time I have been working my ass off and still not making ends meet. I graduated college with my associates in the same month that I graduated high school thanks to dual enroll programs at the community college and was living on my own at 17 years old. A year and a half later I had my bachelors and had passed the NCLEX exam, for which I needed help paying for- board exams aren't cheap. I now have a job of my own but when I moved all the way across the country with nothing not even a car I had to receive help then too. And yes I had a baby shower, not one that I threw on my own, but I graciously accepted gifts, even ones I was uncomfortable accepting. And I guarantee you, not one person I have ever accepted free things from sees me as GROSS. You really need to look deep inside yourself and ask yourself what it is that makes this stuff such a huge issue and deal with it instead of projecting it on a board full of women who are asking questions about something that may be normal where they live, even it it's "tacky" where you live.
Edited for a typo.
@fmraglio You're taking this far too personally. I applaud you for your efforts, truly. I think what you've accomplished is amazing.
That said, you are comparing apples to oranges here. Unless, of course, you threw a party in your own honor asking people to buy you things. I'm making an assumption that someone gave you the gift of a shower, no?
For what it's worth, you're being a little hypocritical here. But go ahead and play victim while personally attacking me. It's cool. Since you're obviously post-stalking me, you know I wear my big girl panties.
Ps, I like to be the kettle, do you want to be the pot?
ETA: holy melodrama...
I think it's gross for people to to act like they are so much better than everyone else. All the while they are on their high horses judging, criticizing, and belittling people who are not at their same levels. That to me is actually more than gross, it is repulsive. I mean I guess I may actually feel sorry for some of you because obviously you don't have anything else better to do with your time but to "search" and tag team posts regarding baby showers or baby names. Why is other people's lives so important to you that you feel the overwhelming need to try and make people feel bad because they don't see things the way you do? These are internet people you will probably NEVER meet or have any contact with IRL so why go out of your way here. That to me is just pathetic, and I truly feel sorry for you. Judging someone doesn't define who they are... it defines who you are.
@DylansCandyBar In no way was I attacking you, my point was that you need to be careful of how you say things, because a lot of the times you come off harsh and insensitive, sometimes even offensive, and I know I'm not the only person who thinks so.
And no, not post stalking, you just tend to be all over the same threads I was looking on for advice in the past.
I think it's gross for people to to act like they are so much better than everyone else. All the while they are on their high horses judging, criticizing, and belittling people who are not at their same levels. That to me is actually more than gross, it is repulsive. I mean I guess I may actually feel sorry for some of you because obviously you don't have anything else better to do with your time but to "search" and tag team posts regarding baby showers or baby names. Why is other people's lives so important to you that you feel the overwhelming need to try and make people feel bad because they don't see things the way you do? These are internet people you will probably NEVER meet or have any contact with IRL so why go out of your way here. That to me is just pathetic, and I truly feel sorry for you. Judging someone doesn't define who they are... it defines who you are.
Like how you and a couple others came over to a dead thread on Baby names just to make fun of Groovylocks?
I'm not interested in making anyone feel bad, and I apologize if I have.
At the same time, if I say "I find this tacky and this is why" well, I'm sorry if someone find that hurtful. I use my downtime to read and contribute posts that interest me/ that I feel I can offer input on. If you don't like what I say, feel free to ignore me.
Eta: Edited "I" to "if someone" for typo/so it actually makes sense.
Re: Daddy diaper shower etiquette
-------------------------------------
Maybe YOU don't know how it works and are confused bc it's not a regular baby shower. Therefore, regular baby shower rules do not apply.
Jamie
If it's not your thing, fine. But don't go throwing misplaced etiquette at it and making it a big deal.
Jamie
Rules/ Tips for throwing a Daddy Diaper Shower for you Ms. Queen of Etiquette, the ultimate manners police chef. This is a new thing, new rules, new code, catered to guys. The stereotypical "DUDE" that we all know.
https://www.ehow.com/how_5359200_throw-ultimate-diaper-party.html
Maybe YOU don't know how it works and are confused bc it's not a regular baby shower. Therefore, regular baby shower rules do not apply.
::pats head::
-----------------------------------
Please chill. You're entitled to your opinion but when everyone is saying the exact opposite of what you are it might be time to step back and admit you are wrong. Good lord.
Here's another from the man's POV.
https://www.mercurynews.com/ci_18885208
Get over it.
Watch out! The mafia has arrived!
*ETA- I wouldn't look at this as a gift giving event because I'm sure that nobody would bring anything useful. If you told them what brand and size diapers to bring that might be different.
;-)
I think if men and their friends want to celebrate a baby then by all means do it, do it however you want. Embrace the anarchy!!! Real friends don't care if you are tacky, the love you because you are tacky.
Thanks.
And no, not post stalking, you just tend to be all over the same threads I was looking on for advice in the past.