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May 2015 Moms
Buckles0528
member
Am I missing something? -Sleep
Buckles0528
member
Hi everyone. I am a huge lurker, have been for the past 11 months. I am a FTM and admit, I have no idea what I am doing. My little man is almost 9 weeks old and does not nap/sleep well at all. I know there are several threads about this but I am at my wits end and I guess I need to vent. We start our day fine, normally around 5am I change him and take him out of his swaddleme then we are up about an hour or so, he eats, I put him in his swing, he falls asleep and I go back to sleep on the couch until about 9:30-10:00. When he wakes up he eats again, we play on his play mat, he sits in his bumbo seat, we sing songs, we go outside. Whatever. Then he takes another nap about an hour after waking up. Then, it's all downhill. He maybe sleeps 30 or 45 minutes if I am lucky. Sometimes he wants to eat, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he will go back to sleep, sometimes he doesn't. My day is just a random mish mash of trying to figure out if he needs to eat, sleep, play or just chill out. Today I "mall walked" for almost 2 hours. He still didn't sleep, but also didn't cry while in the stroller. Every night I try to stick to a bedtime routine of bath/lotion, swaddle, feed, sleep. No matter what time it is or what routine I try it either takes over an hour to get him asleep and he wakes up every hour or he falls right asleep but wakes up the second his head hits the mattress. I am completely exhausted. Last night He went to sleep finally around 10:30 and woke up at 1:15 and I have been awake since trying to figure out what he needs. He doesn't really cry a lot and most times when I try to feed him sooner than two hours in between feeds he won't take it (EBF).
If the answer here is I am just not blessed with a good sleeper so be it, maybe that's just what I need to hear. But at this moment he is awake, just looking at me, and I have no clue what I am doing and it makes me want to cry. So, am I missing something? I swaddle, I use white noise, I keep his room dark, I follow sleep cues, I try to stick to a schedule, I use a paci. I've tried a packnplay, rocknplay, crib, swing.... I am out of ideas.
ETA: Yes, i will wear him in the Moby but that doesn't allow me to sleep.
Best Answer
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CordeliaD87 member
I would try not to let him take long naps in the late afternoon (4-8). When my LO does, it messes with the semi-routine we do have. Also, like pp said, if he isn't fussing and just awake, let him. It doesn't mean you have to be in his face, constantly trying to occupy him. As long as he is in a safe place, he can be 'alone' on the other side of the room, within eye distance. You're doing great, it'll get better!
Re: Am I missing something? -Sleep
We are not on a clock schedule at all either, I was just wondering whether he was awake for like 3 hours before you try to put him down for the night, or more like 6.
Is he fussy when awake? Or just looking around?? When my LO wakes up at 7-8ish she usually doesn't go back to sleep after she eats, but she will lie beside me staring around for an hour or so while I doze next to her
A 9 week old shouldn't really be awake for more than 1.5 hours at a time. Do whatever it takes to get him to nap more during the day. If he will only nap in your arms then do that! The first 3 months it doesn't matter how they sleep as long as they sleep!!! As a PP said, the better naps they have during the day, the better they sleep at night. My DS is a horrible napper unless I hold him. Then he will consistently sleep for 1.5 hours. Sometimes a bit more sometimes a bit less. If I lay him down it's 20 minutes tops. But at night he will usually sleep from 8-2 and then 2:30-6:30ish.
You want LO asleep by the hour and a half mark during the day. So usually at an hour and 15 minutes I start the nap process. Swaddle and rock to sleep so he's asleep at an hour and a half. An hour and a half might even be pushing it for your DS. At 9 weeks mine was closer to an hour or hour and 15. Even at 11 weeks now I sometimes do naps earlier if he's showing any signs of being sleepy.
After 3 months the recommendation is awake time no more than 2 hours during the day.
The attached photo is a guide that I follow for sleep. It's not perfect but it follows what I've heard from a sleep consultant. www.babysleep101.com is a great resource as well.
I agree that 2 hours between naps might be too long and you should shoot for him not being awake more than 1 1/2 hours between naps. My LO fights naps like a champ, and wants to just look at the world all the time. It may sound weird, but I've found sometimes it helps to put a light receiving cloth or blanket over her eyes (while I'm rocking her in my arms, not while she's in her crib) to get her to finally give in and close her eyes. I'll also get her to sleep in the Ergo and then peel it off so she's laying on my chest. I can usually get a nap in while she's napping like that
Hearing "it'll take time" and "you'll get there" doesn't help when you feel sleep deprived and want to give up, but it really does get better. Babies, like us, have days we don't want to sleep, want a later bedtime or want to sleep all day. Hope that helps!