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September 2015 Moms
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32 weeks pregnant, in a stable relationship but feeling alone?

krissybear13krissybear13 member
edited August 2015 in September 2015 Moms
Let me start by clarifying that my partner is amazing and super supportive...when he is here....

So I'm 32 weeks pregnant, with a history of preterm labor ( delivered my first at 35 weeks ). We are expecting a little girl, which we found out 2 weeks ago that she is breech and my doctor Doesn't expect her to turn on her own. He wants to turn her manually at 36 weeks and I refused. The closer I get to the last few weeks of pregnancy, the more stressed out I get.

For the most part my partner and I talk my concerns out and he puts them to rest, but the past few weeks he spends more time away than he does at home ( working on cars, hanging with friends, comes home late ). Now he's leaving next week to go out of town for 2 consecutive weeks, in an area where his phone rarely works and he doesn't seem to see it as a big deal and doesn't understand why I'm stressed. I don't really have family or friends, so he's pretty much my only support system.

Is it normal to feel abandoned/ alone during pregnancy like this? How can I cope with it without bringing it up and starting a fight?
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Re: 32 weeks pregnant, in a stable relationship but feeling alone?

  • itsasapphireitsasapphire member
    I think it's normal to feel some level of loneliness during pregnancy. No one really knows what you are going through because they are not you and they are not you while pregnant.

    However, I think a two week vacation away I the 30's weeks of pregnancy is crazy talk. He should be concerned of the possibility of you going into labor and he should want to be there for that. Not to mention the everyday things you need help with. I understand there are moms who are in a situation where they are alone during this time (single moms, military...) but if you guys are together and he's opting to go away at this time I would not be comfortable with that.

    I'm not good at conversing so I don't really have advice on how to talk it through. I just want you to know you are not out of line for feeling what you are feeling.
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  • krissybear13krissybear13 member
    edited August 2015
    Unfortunately him going out of town isn't an option ( he has business to handle ), and I can't go with him. He says he will rush back if I need him but he's going to be almost 1000 miles away. I am not the best conversing either, so I just kind of push it all down and pretend I don't care, but that's not good for me either.
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  • serenityuy01serenityuy01 member
    If he's with you he probably knows you have a hard time communicating but it IS very important not just now but in the future for you and your relationship especially with a kiddo that you try your best to communicate your feelings to each other. If your in a loving supportive relationship he will understand your fears and concerns even when they are a bit irrational (they aren't in this case ;) ) at the very least if he has to go he knows how you feel and maybe you two can try and come up with alternate ideas of a second support person that can be with you if you do go in labor or discuss about how long it would maybe take him to get back one you go into labor (approximately at least)
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  • PlainJane8350PlainJane8350 member
    I just tried to another girl's post about a non-romantic husband...so you are not alone! Even if you are. My husband works out of town every four to five days, too and I've called him after he had already fine to bed before and he didn't answer. What if I was in labor?! If you want to talk to him about it, then you should be able to (without starting a fight). I always ask my husband, " Is this a good time?" If he's doing something and you'd feel better if he paid more attention, then ask him to sit next to you. This is our first, but I'm starting to freak out so may be he's stressing a little, too. It must be nice to be able to get away, right?! My friend's husband just had a big freak out when she was 35 weeks and they recovered. She's pretty close to his mom so she "tattled" to his parents and they talked to him for her. I'm not recommending that by any means! But I just wanted to let you know that, despite how it seems, you're not the only one less than satisfied with your husband right now. One of my friends and I complain to each other all of the time and talk about how happy other people seem. Everyone has problems and I'm sure you could think of things that you are grateful for about your husband, but we still need to vent and get our feelings out! I'm currently on couch potato rest and have nothing but time on My hands, so you're welcome to e-mail me any time you need a friend. We can compare notes! J/K

    Plainjane19792001@gmail.com
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  • conchispititaconchispitita member
    I'm with you, I feel super alone. All of my family is out of town on vacation, and whenever I get concerned DH doesn't think it's a big deal. I know you are trying to avoid a fight, but maybe that's what you need.
    I blew up on him when I went in to the hospital last week and his reaction was "do I have to be there?." Fights suck, but he has been trying harder to help out and is taking my concerns seriously now.
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  • krissybear13krissybear13 member
    It takes approximately 13 hours. We've made the drive together several times. It's just right now I need him and I feel like he finds every excuse to go off and do something. Like today I made dinner and dessert for our family ( his 12 yr old, and our 4 yr old ) he spent the morning in the garage while I put the food up to cook, came in while I took a nap, then we ate and he left to go to his buddies for "an hour" ( which always turns into him coming home after 9 ) and told me to go grocery shopping and go to the pet store while he was gone so I won't have to do it when he leaves in 3 days. Not only did he take off but he left me with both kids to take with me and he kissed me by and I was like " have fun being away from me when your leaving in 3 days and are always gone " and he laughed and said " we will gone to dinner before I leave "

    SERIOUSLY?!?!

    and he wonders why I spend my days at home in bed. I just want to feel like a priority, not like I'm on the back burner.
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