Not sure it's going to happen with this one but the best decision I made was to have my son be the very first family member to meet his brother. It happened a 1/2 hour after birth - my husband went to the waiting room and grabbed him. That was the best moment of my life - snuggling in the hospital bed with both of my boys before the chaos of other family took over. And I know that was my second time mom thing but I highly recommend it if you can swing it.
Great now I need to move over to the "Today I cried..." discussion. (
Two words: white noise. We have used the sleep sheep for DD since she was about 2 months old and she she still loves it today (2 years old). It has a Velcro strap so it's easy to travel with. It also has two time settings (longest is 45 minutes) so that it's not running all night long. A lot of my mommy friends prefer the Munchkin white noise machine/projector. In either case, it has really helped her bed-time routine. She knows that waves crashing = time to sleep.
Just like this thread , everyone had a way that worked for them and it is never really the same for everyone , I just smiled , thanked people for the advice and DH and I went on with the plans that were right for our family, some of the advice was great some I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole ... People generally want to feel helpful and reminisce about how they did it and what worked for them.
Don't beat yourself up over baby weight , some will be back in pre maternity shape week 3 some of us it takes a little longer ... You spent 40 weeks making a human ... Allow yourself at least that to heal.
If you have a csection keep a pillow around to apply gentle pressure on your scar for when you laugh or cough or sneeze .
September Siggy Challenge : Favorite Childhood Movies ( Sorry I have two)
Don't create a detailed birthing plan. It will never go exactly how you planned it out to be. Have a basic idea of what you want to do (natural, medicated, etc) and go from there. This way you won't get disappointed it didn't go exactly how you wanted it to be. Some of those charts/ checklists are ridiculous!
I disagree. DO have a detailed birthing plan, just be flexible with it. The point of a birth plan isn't to micromanage your labor and delivery. It is to educate yourself about your options. If you don't know your options, you don't have any.
Don't follow advice from other people about how to mother your baby. You know your baby better than anyone else, so follow your instincts.
Micromanaged is what I mean when I said detailed. There are so many of those charts that have you fill out what music will be played in the background, if the doctor/ midwife, etc is allowed to talk during delivery. I dunno, some of that stuff is really ridiculous to me but i suppose is important to others...
I knew my options going into labor, if I was to go the medicated route, which meds I would accept, I didn't want an episiotomy, etc.
Don't beat yourself up over baby weight , some will be back in pre maternity shape week 3 some of us it takes a little longer ... You spent 40 weeks making a human ...
YES! Not everybody loses a ton of weight right after and in fact your body may just hold onto the fat to be able to produce milk for baby (ahem ME!).
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
I really wish with my first that I had said no visitors in the hospital! We had people coming in and out (not just the nurses) and I was recovering from a rough delivery, trying to go to the bathroom, being sleep deprived, trying to figure out BF'ing - every time we tried to latch, some well-intentioned visitor was popping in and so I'd stop. I wasn't getting rest, and I wasn't establishing a BF'ing relationship. By the time we got home and was on my own, stuff was already screwed up. With my second (and third) babies, I requested to be admitted to the hospital as a "no press patient" (like celebs will do) so that no one could even find out if I was admitted, much less what room I was in. We had a quiet, relaxing hospital stay, and I got the BF'ing help I needed and went on to have a successful nursing relationship with my babies. We didn't even post on Facebook about the birth until we were home and ready to accept visitors. It made all the difference; so refreshing! I still had a couple of visitors (my mom brought big bro/sis, best friend came for a few mins), but *i* was in control of who and when and IF they came. No unexpected drop-ins like before.
This!!!! This time I am going to at least say no vistors the first day. After having DS I swore I would never again go see someone they day they had their baby and I haven't. It's terrible when you are running on almost no sleep and trying to figure out your new baby and breastfeeding.
Make some freezer meals and have them ready to go well before your due date. That was really helpful with our second child. With our first we really struggled with getting a good meal in unless someone brought one to us.
Also, have some easy snacks on hand for those first weeks home with baby. Cheese sticks, granola bars, yogurt, fruit, and let's be real, COOKIES.
The only advice that has come to mind, that I haven't seen in the comments I have read is. If you're stressed out, place baby in their bed, go and make yourself a coffee, tea, whatever is going to relax you for a bit and then go back in to baby when you are ready. They will not die crying for 5 minutes and it's better than you totally freaking out and yelling or something along those lines. It doesn't make you a bad mum if you are totally stressed, I think we've all been at breaking point at least once.
This piece of advice is for all of you working mommies. Get yourself a digital frame for your work desk. Put pictures of your baby/babies on it. It helps with the sadness of leaving them.
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Just be flexible in general. Follow your baby's cues. Always have snacks for yourself in arm's reach. Ummm... postpartum poops were almost as bad as labor, so keep that labor breathing handy lol
Yay! It's back!
Just be flexible in general. Follow your baby's cues. Always have snacks for yourself in arm's reach. Ummm... postpartum poops were almost as bad as labor, so keep that labor breathing handy lol
Speaking of that Dermoplast and your peri bottle will be your best friends. Along with the witch hazel pads
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Just be flexible in general. Follow your baby's cues. Always have snacks for yourself in arm's reach. Ummm... postpartum poops were almost as bad as labor, so keep that labor breathing handy lol
Speaking of that Dermoplast and your peri bottle will be your best friends. Along with the witch hazel pads
Don't forget the Dulcolax! That will help with not straining as much. Yes yes yes to the dermoplast and peri bottle. Take as much home with you as they will allow!
March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
If someone (including your mom) comments on how often you feed (or not feed) the baby, the way you hold your baby, the way they sleep, etc.... Just take a deep breathe and let it go. They mean well but you don't have to always listen to them. If you have enough, just walk away but no need to get emotional over it.
No need to invest a lot on a changing table. Just put a changing pad over a cabinet and secure it. Chances are the baby will pee or poo all over it someday, and you can just replace it easily.
I wish someone told me to not invest in a travel system because we end up buying an umbrella stroller instead of the toddler stroller that is very heavy and takes up a lot of space. I would have gone with a bassinet and a frame.
My first pregnancy I didn't touch caffeine - it was decaff all the way. Turns out if you don't have any caffeine in pregnancy, baby might have a hard time with it while nursing (if you nurse). If you follow the recommended 1-2 cups a day during pregnancy, turns out you won't need to transition to adding caffeine in since baby will already be used to it. And believe me, you think you're tired now, but you don't know exhaustion until you're up with baby every 1-2 hours. You won't be able to live without the caffeine.
Didn't even read past this post and now I'm worried because I've given up coffee and I'm sure I'll need it after baby is born. I'm almost 13 weeks, do you think it would be bad to start re introducing coffee at this stage? I'll check with my midwife at my next appointment but maybe I should start now. I'm scared of those sleepless nights!!
My first pregnancy I didn't touch caffeine - it was decaff all the way. Turns out if you don't have any caffeine in pregnancy, baby might have a hard time with it while nursing (if you nurse). If you follow the recommended 1-2 cups a day during pregnancy, turns out you won't need to transition to adding caffeine in since baby will already be used to it. And believe me, you think you're tired now, but you don't know exhaustion until you're up with baby every 1-2 hours. You won't be able to live without the caffeine.
Didn't even read past this post and now I'm worried because I've given up coffee and I'm sure I'll need it after baby is born. I'm almost 13 weeks, do you think it would be bad to start re introducing coffee at this stage? I'll check with my midwife at my next appointment but maybe I should start now. I'm scared of those sleepless nights!!
Not too late at all. DS2's pregnancy I couldn't do coffee for the first trimester but thankfully m/s let up and I was able to drink it again. Try a cup and see how you do.
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
If you are nursing...stand up for your decisions. Not many moms in my family/circle nursed and I felt like they acted like I was a freak. They blamed my daughters reflux on my milk.
With thay being said my immediate family is SUPER close and I couldn't imagine them not at the hospital. We laugh so much together and it passed the time easily.
I only have 1 piece of advice. If nursing doesn't work for you- YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! I had this issue when after 3 months nursing wasn't working with my child. I had been to WIC, lactation consultants, multiple resources for help and nothing worked- I simply wasn't making enough milk for DD. It felt like I was a hhorrible mom because I couldn't keep up with her demands and when I finally switched I felt so guilty and like a failure as a mom because I couldn't give her the best. But soon after, I realized how much my sanity was SAVED when I noticed how satisfied my child was after she had formula, and it such a relief when she finally had quit crying! It took awhile to realize that switching was actually the best thing to do for her.
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
My strange but so glad I did this immediately postpartum advice is two things. Before you go to the hospital for delivery take around 5-6 newborn diapers, fill with about half water and put in the freezer. They're wonderful for when you're sore down below after delivery and they absorb bodily fluids so they work like a pad. Also I wrapped immediately postpartum and I loved the support the wrap provided for my core.
My strange but so glad I did this immediately postpartum advice is two things. Before you go to the hospital for delivery take around 5-6 newborn diapers, fill with about half water and put in the freezer. They're wonderful for when you're sore down below after delivery and they absorb bodily fluids so they work like a pad. Also I wrapped immediately postpartum and I loved the support the wrap provided for my core.
What kind of wrap did you get? I didn't wrap at all the first time around and I want to this time.
I bought the bellefit this time around as I've heard really good things from friends who've used them. Mine was just a cheap wrap that went around my midsection and I honestly can't remember the exact brand name as it's been awhile since I purchased it.
I Am going to go here but .. When it is time for you and your spouse/sig other to get intimate again... It is not going to be comfy ... Take it slow ... Even if you had a c-section.. Things change down there and you are going to have to adjust your normal routine and situation. It is probably going hurt , prepare the both of you that it is not like riding a bike, you can't just jump back into it.
September Siggy Challenge : Favorite Childhood Movies ( Sorry I have two)
Even if you plan to breastfeed, have your pump, bottles, and a formula sample on hand. I intended to breastfeed and wait until six weeks to introduce the bottle before going back to work. Instead I had a baby with extreme difficulty latching, and we were introducing the bottle by day three. We had one bottle on hand, and he couldn't get milk out of that nipple, and went a solid day without getting a damn drop in his belly. DH and I finally realized what was going on, enlarged the nipple hole (usually a big no-no), and DS drank the whole bottle in minutes then had the happiest, milk-drunk look on his face. I felt TERRIBLE.
There are ways to establish breastfeeding even if you need early supplementation, but as my wonderful, wonderful LC put it: the first rule is always feed the baby, even if that means formula and a bottle. DS finally figured out how to latch around four weeks of age, and we went on to nurse until he was 19 months old. It was a lot of work to get breastfeeding established. Which leads to my second point: breastfeeding can be a wonderful relationship, but it should not be robbing you of enjoying your baby. If it's not working for you, for whatever reason, give yourself permission to stop WITHOUT GUILT.
Off the top of my head all I can think of is if your baby isn't having any real skin issues a full-on scrub station is not necessary for every guest that comes through the door to spend time with the baby. There's nothing wrong with a simple hand wash. A baby living in a bubble can't build any type of immune system if he/she isn't introduced to any real elements.
March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
I agree with having a birth plan but be willing to toss it out the window. Also don't be afraid to demand that a nurse check your progress again even if they checked it 10 minutes prior. With my 2nd birth I was checked by the nurse and was only 4cm. I had "planned" on delivering drug free. Within 10 minutes of being checked I swore it was time to push, it was like my contractions were just one massive one. The nurse refused to check me again so I had to argue with my husband about getting medicine. I knew I would not be able to continue for hours, which is how long the nurse predicted my labor to last. I finally got the meds but I also was not mentally there for the birth which happened a few minutes after getting drugs. My doctor chewed the nurse a new one for not checking me when I said it was time. None of us want to be the annoying patient but listen to your body, you will know when it's time (if you deliver without meds). The goal is a healthy baby.
This is great if it worked for you- but following the advice of my ped I nursed every two hours on the dot and made daycare feed every two hours including waking to feed ( she has to go starting at six weeks, due to no fmla at my job) Dr insisted if baby got her ounces during the day and on exact schedule she would sleep better all night and be content knowing she would be fed before needing to get worked up. Maybe related, maybe unrelated, my child slept 6+ hours through the night starting at 7 weeks and has 95% of the time since. We transitioned to more time between nursing as she got older, but it was always on the schedule. If she wanted more she got more, but never more time between feelings than the set time I was using. This is the #1 advice I give to friends. This works great because as they get older you know exactly how much your baby is needing to eat, and can feel confident they are not crying from hunger as you are trying to get them to sleep through the night. Obviously feed as much as needed to a newborn.
Also, remember supplementing is an option, and can be temporary. I didn't produce enough and was able to do 2 ounces formula a day and pump extra to get my body to pick up the pace and then stopped the formula after a short time.
This is great if it worked for you- but following the advice of my ped I nursed every two hours on the dot and made daycare feed every two hours including waking to feed ( she has to go starting at six weeks, due to no fmla at my job) Dr insisted if baby got her ounces during the day and on exact schedule she would sleep better all night and be content knowing she would be fed before needing to get worked up. Maybe related, maybe unrelated, my child slept 6+ hours through the night starting at 7 weeks and has 95% of the time since. We transitioned to more time between nursing as she got older, but it was always on the schedule. If she wanted more she got more, but never more time between feelings than the set time I was using. This is the #1 advice I give to friends. This works great because as they get older you know exactly how much your baby is needing to eat, and can feel confident they are not crying from hunger as you are trying to get them to sleep through the night. Obviously feed as much as needed to a newborn.
That's all well and good but ds2 was a pig and insisted nursing ever 2-3 hours. We tried letting my husband help with pumped milk so I could get some rest but he would drown himself in the bottles and demand boobs. He just loved the boob. And that's ok.
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
I agree with having a birth plan but be willing to toss it out the window. Also don't be afraid to demand that a nurse check your progress again even if they checked it 10 minutes prior. With my 2nd birth I was checked by the nurse and was only 4cm. I had "planned" on delivering drug free. Within 10 minutes of being checked I swore it was time to push, it was like my contractions were just one massive one. The nurse refused to check me again so I had to argue with my husband about getting medicine. I knew I would not be able to continue for hours, which is how long the nurse predicted my labor to last. I finally got the meds but I also was not mentally there for the birth which happened a few minutes after getting drugs. My doctor chewed the nurse a new one for not checking me when I said it was time. None of us want to be the annoying patient but listen to your body, you will know when it's time (if you deliver without meds). The goal is a healthy baby.
Yes to this! I went from 4 to baby in one hour. When I told them I needed to push they tried to write me off because they had just checked and I was at 4. 3 pushes later baby boy was born!
So glad to read some of these comments and see that I'm not just feeling "selfish" or "mean". I really don't want hospital visitors and would prefer visitors at home after I'm relaxed. The hospital im delivering at has a really awesome rule about babies after birth - mom holds the baby on her chest for a minimum of one hour uninterrupted - not even if grandma snuck in and wants a cuddle, anyone else even dad is off limits. They say that this helps a million and one things and starts the bond as well as bringing mom and babies hormones and heart rates back to normal. It seems like a wonderful idea by also a great get out of jail card, no visitors thanks - the hospital says so !!
Also hurrah for the moral support - I know most of us will want to breast feed and for some of us it might not end up working out... We will do our best and whatever the outcome, we faught, tried, ( probably cried) but we did not fail !!
I just remember being super exhausted with my first two, so this time I plan to really let myself rest at the hospital. I don't want to focus on visitors or getting home and being disappointed when it takes forever... I'll be having a c section - so my advice to myself and other moms is to let the nurses and your partner help with the baby and to get in your rest and quality time while at the hospital so you can heal and be ready for the sleepless nights to come
I just got around to checking out this thread thinking we were all going to be sharing crazy advice we've received from aunts and grandmas and strangers.
I just remember being super exhausted with my first two, so this time I plan to really let myself rest at the hospital. I don't want to focus on visitors or getting home and being disappointed when it takes forever... I'll be having a c section - so my advice to myself and other moms is to let the nurses and your partner help with the baby and to get in your rest and quality time while at the hospital so you can heal and be ready for the sleepless nights to come
Great advice! DS2 had a billi issue so he had to be under the lights an extended day - the nurses had no other patients on night 2 so they offered to take him out while DH and I slept - they brought him back for feeding. Best decision ever.
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
There's an older lady who I coach with and she was giving another younger coach breastfeeding advice since she's due soon. She was telling her things like doing a modified on-demand type thing. I was like ??? She was telling her to take notes on when your baby feeds so you get to know the baby's schedule (there is no such a thing when they're newborns). She was saying you don't want to overfeed the infant (again no such thing imo). "You don't want a fat baby". I was all like my daughter was huge when she was an infant, there's nothing wrong with that. I hope this poor coach figures it out. My advice was to take a class at the hospital. I did that and learned sooo much.
Treat your L&D and recovery nurses well (while you are in your right mind). They can either make your life wonderful or living hell. Especially if you have to go through L&D before baby comes for some emergency. They are your best advocate.
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Re: Back in my day.... (How about an advice thread)
We have used the sleep sheep for DD since she was about 2 months old and she she still loves it today (2 years old). It has a Velcro strap so it's easy to travel with. It also has two time settings (longest is 45 minutes) so that it's not running all night long.
A lot of my mommy friends prefer the Munchkin white noise machine/projector. In either case, it has really helped her bed-time routine. She knows that waves crashing = time to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Don't beat yourself up over baby weight , some will be back in pre maternity shape week 3 some of us it takes a little longer ... You spent 40 weeks making a human ... Allow yourself at least that to heal.
If you have a csection keep a pillow around to apply gentle pressure on your scar for when you laugh or cough or sneeze .
I knew my options going into labor, if I was to go the medicated route, which meds I would accept, I didn't want an episiotomy, etc.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Also, have some easy snacks on hand for those first weeks home with baby. Cheese sticks, granola bars, yogurt, fruit, and let's be real, COOKIES.
This piece of advice is for all of you working mommies. Get yourself a digital frame for your work desk. Put pictures of your baby/babies on it. It helps with the sadness of leaving them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Just be flexible in general. Follow your baby's cues. Always have snacks for yourself in arm's reach. Ummm... postpartum poops were almost as bad as labor, so keep that labor breathing handy lol
*BFP #1- 11/12/12, m/c 11/16/12 @ 6 weeks
*BFP #2- 1/23/13 EDD 10/4/13
*Emma Rose: 10/8/13
*BFP #3- EDD 03/9/16
March '16 December Siggy Challenge- Favorite Christmas Movie/Quote
Speaking of that Dermoplast and your peri bottle will be your best friends. Along with the witch hazel pads
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Don't forget the Dulcolax! That will help with not straining as much. Yes yes yes to the dermoplast and peri bottle. Take as much home with you as they will allow!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
With thay being said my immediate family is SUPER close and I couldn't imagine them not at the hospital. We laugh so much together and it passed the time easily.
I only have 1 piece of advice. If nursing doesn't work for you- YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! I had this issue when after 3 months nursing wasn't working with my child. I had been to WIC, lactation consultants, multiple resources for help and nothing worked- I simply wasn't making enough milk for DD. It felt like I was a hhorrible mom because I couldn't keep up with her demands and when I finally switched I felt so guilty and like a failure as a mom because I couldn't give her the best. But soon after, I realized how much my sanity was SAVED when I noticed how satisfied my child was after she had formula, and it such a relief when she finally had quit crying! It took awhile to realize that switching was actually the best thing to do for her.
Married Bio * BFP Charts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Also, Tucks pads were another post-labor staple.
Also hurrah for the moral support - I know most of us will want to breast feed and for some of us it might not end up working out... We will do our best and whatever the outcome, we faught, tried, ( probably cried) but we did not fail !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
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Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
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Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
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Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!