Keeping baby with me the first night or send him to the nursery?

kkelley00 · July 2015

First post in a while. I don't get a lot of time to check things out here. Anyway, I did use the search feature, but did not find anything relating to this.
This will be my first baby and I was wondering who is keeping baby with them the first night and who is sending baby to the nursery? I feel kinda terrible sending my baby away and I will miss him. My husband insists that I rest that night. Kinda just still thinking on it.

makeoutside7 · July 2015

Do whatever you're comfortable with and what you need to. I plan on spending as much time with baby the first few days and resting more after we are released from the hospital and have family over to help us out with baby.

Stephanieshort2 · July 2015

I agree with PP. There will be time later to have help. I want to spend as much time as possible with baby in the beginning and to get accustomed to breastfeeding

LSRoo · July 2015

The hospital I delivered DS with didn't have a nursery. If you think you will utilize a nursery, make sure you call the hospital to see if they have one. A lot of hospitals are doing away with a nursery or only have one for preemies or babies who are ill. If you breastfeed you will want the baby with you around the clock to feed on demand.

JessicaS0914 · July 2015

I'll make a game Time decision. With my first, she went to the nursery because I labored and pushed all day, had her via emergency C at 8 pm, saw her and family at 10 pm, and didn't get settled in my room until almost midnight. I barely knew my own name at that point, let alone caring for a newborn. I still don't know if I'm VBAC or scheduled RCS this time, so it will totally depend on how I feel.

kmkrushi · July 2015

With DD I was like @JessicaS0914, after labor all day, lots of meds and a c-section I have very little memory of the night after. She spend the night in the nursery. I'd say just play it by ear.

AmoLovesAud · July 2015

The hospital I'm planning to deliver at highly recommends "keeping the whole family in your room", so I feel like I'll be pushed into keeping her with me. But, if they'll let me and I am exhausted enough, I won't feel bad taking the opportunity to get a full night's sleep* for what may be the last time for awhile. MIL and my mom both want to come help when I get home, but neither of them will be up 5x a night to nurse!

ETA: *well, except for being woken up to nurse. But I feel like if she was in my room the first night, I'd stay up all night watching her and worrying.

jessilee15 · July 2015

I wanted to exclusively BF, but I had the nurse take my first to the nursery at like midnight right after I fed him, then promise to bring him back by 4:00 (or sooner if he woke up). I got some sleep, and it worked great for us!

maura+c · July 2015

I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable. I will share my experience with you though. The first night I didn't sleep a wink. My baby and hubby slept soundly, but I myself was so worried about him. The nurses explained I really needed to sleep and assured me they would bring him back when he needed to eat again. I remember him leaving the room at 5 am and woke up at 7 when he was being rolled back in. I really didn't want to, but it was important to just get two hrs of sleep. The 2nd night he was in the nursery the whole night except for feedings. I myself did not have help at night when I got home, so even having broken up sleep when he went to the nursery was amazing! It's completely your choice and whatever you decide I'm sure your husband will understand. Also, you carry this baby for 9 months and when they are separated from you it's an odd feeling. That's why I chose to keep him the first night, but your decision solely. Good luck on your pick!

MargaretC5 · July 2015

I would make the decision that day depending on how you are feeling. We had planned to keep DS with us for the night, but did end of sending him to the nursery for a couple hours so I could get some sleep. I did have a CS and DS did have a little fluid in his lungs and sounded raspy (dr and nurses ensured us it was normal and fine), but as first time parents we were freaking out all night. We really needed the break. The nurses brought him back when he needed to BF. You have to remember you are going thru a lot giving birth and the nursery does not need to be all or nothing, a couple hours is an option to give you a little break but still spend lot of time bonding with baby.

Elyse1384 · July 2015

I would add that you never know what will happen in the moment so be prepared to change up the game plan. We wanted DS to room with us, but he swallowed a lot of fluid during delivery and kept choking so the staff really wanted to keep him in the nursery for night one to ensure his well being. We were missing him that night, but we knew it was for the best and had him in room on night 2.

mmk29 · July 2015

This is honestly a game time decision that you'll have to wait to make. Even the type of delivery you end up having can play a role. The hospital I delivered at had a nursery open from midnight to 6 am, however if you were breastfeeding they would come wake you up with the baby every two hours.
My DS was a c section. He had mucus still in his lungs, which is common, and I was not okay with him coughing that up for the first 12 hours. I didn't know how to aspirate well, so I would just panic when I heard that little choking noise. I sent my son to the nursery the first night because I was exhausted and scared to death of that damn mucus. I felt a million times better knowing someone perfectly cool with shoving an aspirator in the back of his mouth was watching over him and I was still awoken to make sure he fed on schedule. For me it was an option that made me feel much better. He had cleared the mucus by the second day and stayed with me for the remainder of the hospital stay.
The first few days as a new parent are terrifying do not feel guilty if you decide that for whatever reason your baby may benefit from going to the nursery. I have never been so exhausted in my life as that first night.

RNmommy13 · July 2015

We sent DS to the nursery and plan to send this one.my fear was having him in the room and anyone could just come in while I am sleeping. I know crazy fear but I have it

Gapeach83 · July 2015

LSRoo said:
The hospital I delivered DS with didn't have a nursery. If you think you will utilize a nursery, make sure you call the hospital to see if they have one. A lot of hospitals are doing away with a nursery or only have one for preemies or babies who are ill. If you breastfeed you will want the baby with you around the clock to feed on demand.

Same with my hospital they did away with the nursery before DD1 was born 5 yrs ago. They just have NICU nursery.

helsbels222 · July 2015

This is really one of those things you can't plan on or at least you need to be open minded. I had every intention of having my baby with me. However, I had an emergency c sec and baby was jaundice and some other minor complications plus I wasn't allowed to even walk yet. The nurses actually recommended he stay in the nursery the first night and then the second night too. They wanted him in the nursery under the big belly reuben light as much as possible. I only got to see him for limited spurts of time throughout much of my hospital stay. But I was okay with that because I knew once I got home, I'd be on my own.

nmwheel1 · July 2015

I had an emergancy c-section and still wasn't able to get up and walk that first night and my hospital didn't allow the dad's to spend the night. They highly recommended the nursery so I agreed. I exclusively breastfed and they brought her to me when it was time to feed her then when she was done they took her back.
This time around the hospital now allows the dad's to spend the night as they are phasing out the nursery (better safety reasons not having them) so we have decided if I end up with another c-section I won't want visitors the first day so dh will spend night 1 with us and my mil will be at our house with dd and they can visit the second day. We are a 45 minute drive from the hospital and mil will be flying in so my husband would have to go get them, bring them to the hospital, then bring them back home so once we allow visitors there is no point in coming back again to the hospital to spend the night.

lyankowi · July 2015

DD went to the NICU but I did sleep really well between midnight and 2:45 then 3:30 to 5:45. I had planned to keep baby in the room but I might send LO to nursery for a few hours each night.

dmiller1213 · July 2015

I'm not going to plan anything really just see how I feel when the time comes

JLB24 · July 2015

With my first I was a nervous wreck and kept him with me. I didn't sleep a wink that first night and looking back, it would have been so much better if I had gotten some rest. Can't take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself first! If you are nursing, they will bring the baby in every 3ish hours to eat, so it certainly won't be long chunks of time. With my second son, he was in the nursery and they brought him to me for feedings. I was a much happier and relaxed mama.

katiedhunter · July 2015

Where I deliver they don't have a nursery. But the nurses do have a little area behind their station where they will take baby if you want to have a good snooze. And they bring them back when it's feeding time. We never did with either boy so probably won't with this one but it's nice knowing you have the option. Just play it by ear and go with what your comfortable with.

rerawalt · July 2015

Most hospitals have gotten rid of normal newborn nurseries so you might want to check to see if your hospital even has one. This is clearly going to be an UO here but my opinion is your baby, your responsibility. Unless, of course, your baby has a medical reason they need to be separated from you.

dogsombrero · July 2015

Gapeach83 said:

LSRoo said:
The hospital I delivered DS with didn't have a nursery. If you think you will utilize a nursery, make sure you call the hospital to see if they have one. A lot of hospitals are doing away with a nursery or only have one for preemies or babies who are ill. If you breastfeed you will want the baby with you around the clock to feed on demand.
Same with my hospital they did away with the nursery before DD1 was born 5 yrs ago. They just have NICU nursery.

My hospital with the first too! I liked it. This time who knows because we may be dealing with NICU with the twinkies. Otherwise I'll have them room in. For me it was nice getting used to the routine while there was a lovely nurse to answer questions etc.

fitmama89 · July 2015

This is interesting to me! DD never left our room. I didn't even think it was an option these days!

AKF*WHH2 · July 2015

With our first it wasn't a choice. The baby stays in the room with parents. Being first timers I was a nervous wreck calling in the nurses more than once to see if he was ok. It would have been strange to have him in another room, particularly with nursing.

BowWowBowie · July 2015

It's all a personal preference.
I believe they can bring baby back for feedings. Do what feels right for you and your family and your baby. (I don't think you get much sleep the first night anyway with nurses checking you over.)
Personally, I wouldn't want to be away from my DS, and I'd have my husband help take care of him. But it is personal preference, just like how you're going to feed your kid, circumcision, etc. Do what feels right, go with your gut.

Pontot31 · July 2015

My hospital doesn't even have the option of sending the baby away. That's kind of an old practice. My daughter never left our room. Everything was done in there for the 2 days.
If you're BFing do not send them away. You want he baby near you so your milk will come in.
This baby will not be leaving our sight again.

ETA: I had 2 days of labor and a CS. I was exhausted but still wasn't giving her up. I knew it was even more important for BFing that she be near since she had such a long and traumatic labor and delivery.

sarahsnowball · July 2015

katiedhunter said:
Where I deliver they don't have a nursery. But the nurses do have a little area behind their station where they will take baby if you want to have a good snooze. And they bring them back when it's feeding time. We never did with either boy so probably won't with this one but it's nice knowing you have the option. Just play it by ear and go with what your comfortable with.

^^^ my hospital had this option too. I needed a lot of help to breastfeed and on my first night the midwife offered to take him for a few hours after a feed as she could see I was exhausted. It was brilliant to have a few hours of sleep knowing that he was being well looked after.
I hope to keep this baby with me if possible, but I'm glad the midwives have the option to take the baby for a short time if I really need them to.

japostolova · July 2015

Depends on your individual situation. I labored for 16 hours after already getting no sleep the night before I was exhausted! The baby was still with me the entire time which I won't do again! I came home from the hospital and w no help from any family easily went crazy after 4 straight days of no sleep, labor and birth and dealing w a newborn home alone

FilbertTree · July 2015

The concept of sending LO off to a nursery is alien and foreign to me. Its not something thats done in the UK (heck, unless you go private you and LO are on a shared ward), and this time around even if my hospital offered a nursery I wouldn't be using it. Honestly its not even on my list of things to ask about the birthing centre when I tour, because Sprout stays with me and/or daddy.

flas · July 2015

I sent mine with the nurses ( we didn't have a nursery at the hospital) for a few hours the first night and I got some well deserved sleep! I had already been bonding with baby for about 2 hours at that point so I didntvsee an issue with getting some rest so I would be able to function better. If you decide to they will probably bring baby back in when baby is hungry so you will still get more breastfeeding bonding time. I can't breastfeed so with my daughter I told them they had the go ahead to feed her. I ended up getting 6 glorious hours. I know we say we will just sleep later when we get home but yeah, no, probably not.

mamavbs · July 2015

FilbertTree said:
The concept of sending LO off to a nursery is alien and foreign to me. Its not something thats done in the UK (heck, unless you go private you and LO are on a shared ward), and this time around even if my hospital offered a nursery I wouldn't be using it. Honestly its not even on my list of things to ask about the birthing centre when I tour, because Sprout stays with me and/or daddy.

Same! Honestly I think I'd freak the hell out of my baby wasn't next to me the entire time. I had a csection with first bub so was in a lot of pain and could barely move, but the midwives would come and change him for me and I just cuddled him most of the time to save putting him down in the cot. And with my next one- I was up for TWO nights straight and gave birth At 4am but left hospital by 4pm. So I never got that sleep back and was exhausted but that's where hubby came in handy. We often took it in turns to sleep or nap in the day so one of us was fit and ready for duty!

I think I'm still tired from my last birth, 2 years on lol

apritch88 · July 2015

I gave birth at 12:21am and by the time they had me sutured, had her tested, bathed, etc. it was almost 4am. So that night, she was with us.

The next day we had all kinds of visitors, including lots of nurses and doctors. I was not feeling well after losing a pretty good amount of blood and not reacting well to the epidural. She became fussy around midnight and after I fed her I asked her to be taken to the nursery until she was ready for her next feed. Those two hours were blissful. I cried when they took her away and cried when they brought her back but I felt SO much more rested and prepared to tackle the rest of the evening after having two solid hours of sleep.

I think it's a decision you can't really make until you are there. You don't know what your labor will be like, what time of day it will occur, how you will be feeling, or if you will have a colicky fussy baby from the start, or one that will cuddle up and chill out. Use the help if you need it and try to do what feels best.

Bootsie81 · July 2015

My son was early so he was in the nursery the whole time. My daughter wouldn't settle and was really fussy the first night so the nurses took her to the nursery for a few hours. Other than that she was with us the whole time.

Jstansell715 · July 2015

My personal experience: I labored for 22 hours and ended up having csection. I was so completely exhausted I let my daughter go to the nursery for a few hours to get some rest. It depends how you feel and our nursery nurse was so amazing so I felt completely fine with letting her go to nursery for a little while.

kwaldy · July 2015

I think it would be wise to play it by ear. You never know how your l&d will go, and you might be desperate for a few hours of rest.
The hospital I am delivering at does not have a nursery, so... we shall see what happens.

mariabedolla · July 2015

The only time my son was not with me was when he had his hearing test done, besides that I wanted him by me the whole time we were there which was a day and a half. I had my mom and husband there so I got the rest I needed and was so blessed with such a good newborn that he mostly never fussed unless it was to eat. Really just do what you feel more comfortable with and what will let you rest up.

ahowell88 · July 2015

I think I'm overly paranoid but I never let the baby out of my sight (or DH's). With DS1 & 2, I made DH go with them to the nursery for their first shot, even though it only took about 15 minutes. I also had such a hard time breastfeeding with my first that I wanted DS2 skin to skin as much as possible, hoping it would help the whole process.

kkelley00 · July 2015

Just now getting a chance to read this. Thanks for all the answers. I don't think I want my baby away from me. I will miss him!

Laurakat81 · July 2015

I PLAN on keeping him with me every possible second but with my DD her pediatrician did not want her in the room with us if we were sleeping because she inhaled a lot of meconium and they were very concerned she would have breathing issues. Basically, someone needed to be awake with her at all times for her first 24 hours. She still spent the majority of that first night with us but we were so exhausted after a 48 labor and no sleep it just wasn't doable to stay awake any longer, for myself or my husband. They did bring her to me every 2.5 to 3 hours to breastfeed and everything was just fine. The next night we were allowed to sleep with her in our room after they felt the risk of complications had significantly dropped. I was pretty upset when they first told me that she really needed to go to the nursery in order for us to get any sleep as DH had gone everywhere with her up until then but it was honestly fine. I don't think she spent more than 4 hours in the nursery.

cattledog1979 · July 2015

My first time, I was surprised at how sleepy my baby was the first night. I think labor is exhausting for them too. I also didn't want my baby out of my sight.