October 2015 Moms

Epidural fears?

I need advice from mommies who have already had a child and have experienced having an epidural! I'm a FTM and I am TERRIFIED. The thought of labor doesn't really scare me, however I am highly terrified of the epidural, I also know there's no way I'll be able to give natural labor though, I don't have a very high pain tolerance at all. Any information or tips you can give me to calm my nerves? I absolutely hate needles and just the thought of it gives me panic attacks!
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Re: Epidural fears?

  • My best friend just had her baby in early June and got an epidural. For her it was exactly what she needed, she said it was amazing, and she is absolutely petrified of needles! They put a numbing needle in first so you dont feel the epidural go in, the worst thing about it is that you have to sit quite still in an awkward position. Obviously the epidural is not for everyone, and there will be people who will have strong opinions against and strong opinions for. Clearly you think the epidural is for you, so I think give it a go if it will make your experience better. Its such a routine procedure now, so the risks for getting it are quite minimal. Good luck with it x
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  • Well it's a needle that goes into your back, so you won't see it. That may help...
  • AmyB421AmyB421 member
    edited July 2015
    I was the exact same way with my first. I didn't really want an epidural but when they started pitocin there really wasn't another option. I don't like needles so the idea of the epidural was quite terrifying. My sister told me that a bee sting hurt worse than the epidural and she was right. They give you something to numb the area first so you don't even notice the acutal epidural being placed. I made sure I didn't look at anything they brought in the room so I wouldn't get too freaked out. In the end I made it a bigger deal than it actually was and could have been more comfortable way earlier. As hard as it is just try to relax and not think too much about it.
  • My dr gave me a pillow to hug and kind of hunch over so it was more comfortable to bend and it really was more awkward than painful. I was petrified too and even though I've been through it before I'm still nervous again...hate needles!
  • I remember feeling the same way with my first. But once labor got intense, I was in so much pain and discomfort anyway, that I didn't care one bit about the fact that a needle was being stuck into my spine! And the pain of the epidural itself was barely noticeable. I just remember it bringing me sweet, sweet relief!

    Like someone else said, the hardest part was having to sit up in an uncomfortable position and stay as still as possible for a minute while they did it.

    Try not to think about it, because it won't be nearly as bad as you imagine!
  • It's funny because 2 years ago I needed An epidural for a surgery for a cyst removal. I was so nervous about going under for the first time ever, I didn't pay any attention to the epidural, I honestly can not remember having ANY pain or discomfort as I hugged the pillow and the nurses talked to me. It is not until now, after my birthing class that the epidural sounds horrifying!!! They described how they do it........ I'm like, please don't tell me how your doing it, just do it and I will feel so much better. That's also how I feel about if my doctor has to cut me down there during vaginal labor..... Please just do what you have to do.... I trust my doctor! I would pass out if my doctor said, " okay, I'm going to need to cut you now so baby can come out!!!! With that being said, my peace of mine comes from plenty of conversations and birth plans that I have with my doctor so she knows and I know what to expect so I'm not to be blindsided by anything.
  • I was scared my first time. And, in fact, my husband assumed I'd be going med -free because of my fear of needles. But like a PP said, once they gave me pitocin, I knew I wanted the epidural.

    What helped me stay calm and still while they were putting it in was knowing the "what ifs" for the procedure. I was more concerned about messing things up than the needle at that point, so I concentrated on remaining still and keeping my back in the correct position.

    I don't remember any pain, I remember it being cold. When the time comes, I feel like you'll be able to weigh what's more important to you (worry about needle, pain of contractions, etc) and will respond accordingly. HTH!
  • carlymarie021carlymarie021 member
    edited July 2015
    I'm taking the chance. There are more success stories with epidurals than horror. My mother had a spinal headache for 10 days after having one. I asked my OB if I would also be a candidate and she said they have changed since then. So, I guess we'll find out. But I really want one. The actual procedure doesn't scare me. I have a high pain tolerance. But I AM scared of childbirth and I figure I would enjoy the experience more if I were to be medicated.

    Just realized you wanted advice from STM's. Sorry
  • I'm a FTM, and I hate needles too! I also know there is no way on God's green earth that I'm doing this thing all natural, so I'm going for it--embracing modern medicine and doing the epidural! I figure it is much better than the alternative of NOT having one :) 
  • Thank you guys so much! I know when the time comes I won't care anymore, and once it's done it's over with. It's just the thought of it that is horrifying me! Lol
  • My fear with the epidural is not so much the needle aspect of it, though I am worried about the possible headaches from it. The more I read and research, the more I'm worried about the lack of options for movement and birth positioning once I get it. 

    Everything I read says lying down and restricted movement can lead to complications, whereas being able to get up and change positions helps baby move into place more easily, reducing risk of complications. I want to avoid pitocin and possible c-section if possible, so although I've been totally pro-epidural up until this point, I'm really starting to rethink it. 

    Anyone have experience with good birthing positions after epidural?  
  • I never felt them out my epidural in, and once it started I had NO pain at all, it was so peaceful!
  • @amberrmariee20 I am hoping and praying for an experience like yours! I try not to think about it too much.
  • @amberrmariee20 I am hoping and praying for an experience like yours! I try not to think about it too much.

    I went until 4.5 cms until I got the epidural, they won't give it after 5 cms here. They turned mine off at 9 cms so
    I could feel the contractions to push. It wasn't so bad, I'm going for no epidural this time.
  • @amberrmariee20 I hope they do pretty much the same thing. When the weeks get closer I'm going to talk more about my birth plan. Any specific reason your trying natural? I was on the fence but chickened out.
  • @amberrmariee20 I hope they do pretty much the same thing. When the weeks get closer I'm going to talk more about my birth plan. Any specific reason your trying natural? I was on the fence but chickened out.

    My friend didn't have an epidural and her labor was quick, and my sister only had a 2 hour labor without the epidural. I'm hoping it'll speed things up. But depending on how long labor is then I'll reconsider having an epi again.
  • Thanks for asking this I am also terrified of this whole epidural thing but know that I want one! It's nice to read what everyone wrote even though it gives me the heeby jeebies...
  • I was 9cm when I got to the hospital with my first baby with what I thought were early labor pains and contractions. I guess my pain tolerance is much higher than I thought. I mean I was in a lot pain but I was convinced it went so fast they had to be early contractions and I was just a big baby to think they were bad. Not so much.
    I was able to get epidural when I got there, by some miracle!!!! I didn't even feel the procedure and it was heaven when it was done. I had no side effects after.
    Needless to say this time I will go to the hospital much sooner!
  • I was 5 cm when I got to the hospital then stalled and still had very strong steady contractions... got an epi and my body relaxed from not being in as much pain, boom, progress and a baby was born a few hours later :)
    imageVincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome image
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  • MelMel92 said:

    I'm way more terrified of an epidural than of childbirth, honestly. I'm going in planning to toss anyone that mentions one out the window. 

    I feel the exact same way. I was watching birth videos the other night and the only time I cringed or felt anything unpleasant was when I saw that needle heading towards the mother's back. My mom thinks I'm a nutcase, as she claims that when you're in pain you'll forget about that short lived fear, but I'm not so sure.
  • Have you considered not getting an epidural or any pain medication? I know you said that your pain tolerance is low, but there are positions/techniques that you can do to reduce the pain. Also, our bodies are designed to release natural pain killers (endorphins) that will help make the pain manageable. It certainly will not eliminate it though. Consider watching the documentary called "the business of being born" and the DVD series called "happy healthy child."
  • alz88alz88 member
    This is my 3rd baby and I've never had an epidural.... the thought of it absolutely terrifies me and I even told my dad just a week or two back that I'd rather have my vagina ripped open than get an epidural! I just think labor goes much faster without an epidural inhibiting your movement and your recovery is a lot faster than having thatggroggy/drugged/sluggish feeling that can happen post epi.each to their own though! You may find you can labor without it and you have been worrying for nothing. Good luck!
  • edited July 2015
    My epidural wasnt that bad to get. It was more uncomfortable to stay still bent over to get it than the needle itself. I am happy I got one, but to each their own.
    imageVincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome image
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  • I have a very bad phobia of needles ever since I was a kid (had to get 6 shots in my wrist to position a broken thumb at a growth plate) so I didn't look at anything that was on that tray before the procedure nor did I get curious to google search epidural needles &/or procedures... but honestly by the time you need an epidural, it doesn't feel half as bad as your labor pains. With my 1st I said that my iv hurt worse. With my 2nd I was nervous but the nurses were really calming, they even had to do it twice, but it was nothing compared to being 6-7cm dilated...I felt relief within 10 minutes. You'll do awesome!
  • I had one with my first and it was the best thing I could have done. It didn't hurt at all going in and it helped relax me during the delivery. Yeah I couldn't walk around or pee by myself but at that point it was so hard to get out of the bed anyway so it didn't deter me from getting it. I felt all of my contractions without the additional pain and was able to push with no problem. After the birth I didn't feel the doctor stitch up my tear or perform any of the postpartum procedures - which according to hubby included the doctor being elbow deep in my snatch.

    This time I will absolutely have another one.
  • LouislLouisl member
    I'm more freaked out by the urethra catheter than the actual epidural. Do they place that before or after the epi?
  • Mine was placed after.
    imageVincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome image
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  • @Louisl your catheterized ???? I need to look this up. No one ever mentioned that.
  • When I got my epidural with my son the pain wasn't bad at all. I felt worse for my nurse than anything because she told me to squeeze her during my contraction so I did and ended up digging my nails into her without realizing it. I felt terrible. I ended up having what my doctor called a hot spot, a spot that you could still feel even with epi. From what I understand is most women get them on their leg or something. I was a lucky one and got it right on my vagina. I could feel everything but it was like the pain was taken down just a tad. I didn't really get any relief and couldn't rest like they wanted me to. I ended up pushing about an hour and a half later.

    To the catheter question they wanted to do it for me after I had the epi when I told them I had to go to the bathroom. They told me I wasn't allowed to get up because of the epi so I refused the catheter and told them I'd wet myself. Sounds bad I know but I had a horrible experience with a catheter when I was in third grade. They looked at me like I was crazy but I used those pads that they had under you to relieve myself. My mom found this completely hysterical lol
  • I know with mine, I was only catherized after the first hour or so because my bladder got very full and I couldn't really get up to empty it. Then they took it back out so it wouldn't interfere with anything.
    imageVincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome image
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  • Is it horrible I'm going to avoid this catheter if I can ?? Do not want :((
  • @Louisl your catheterized ???? I need to look this up. No one ever mentioned that.

    Yes they give you a catheter after receiving the epidural because you can't get up to go pee; I ended up with a UTI because of it.
  • Is it horrible I'm going to avoid this catheter if I can ?? Do not want :((

    I didn't feel then put mine in at all !
  • Is it horrible I'm going to avoid this catheter if I can ?? Do not want :((

    I don't blame you. I refused to have it put in. I figured I was already on this pee may like things for when my water broke. What was the difference if I peed as well. And my nurses knew that was my intention.
  • It's not so bad. I hugged my nurse while they put it in. The worst part about any kind of drugs is the coming down. After my epi, my left leg was numb for hours, I couldn't even get up to pee. I had 2 doses, and still felt EVERYTHING! Pitocin is a little bi***!

    And @carlymarie021, yes, they put a catheter in. They put one in the epidural space and in your wee. It's really not that big a deal. Otherwise you would pee all over yourself. You literally can't feel anything down there lol. And since we're on this subject, I dunno about you veteran moms, but pooping is a real thing, and it can happen to you, and your husband won't forget about it!!!
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  • It's not so bad. I hugged my nurse while they put it in. The worst part about any kind of drugs is the coming down. After my epi, my left leg was numb for hours, I couldn't even get up to pee. I had 2 doses, and still felt EVERYTHING! Pitocin is a little bi***!


    And @carlymarie021, yes, they put a catheter in. They put one in the epidural space and in your wee. It's really not that big a deal. Otherwise you would pee all over yourself. You literally can't feel anything down there lol. And since we're on this subject, I dunno about you veteran moms, but pooping is a real thing, and it can happen to you, and your husband won't forget about it!!!
    I'm horrified I'm gonna poop myself! Lol I've been told the women and children's center I'm delivering at give you an enima before they start the delivery process so you don't poop! Lol I hope that is true, I'm too embarrassed to ask my doctor! Haha
  • FrozenMommyFrozenMommy member
    edited July 2015
    Let me tell you. When you have 3-6 people standing in a room, staring at your open vagina, you  pretty much throw all modesty out the window. At that point it's just get this freaking giant head out of my vag. I would have sold my soul to get her out after the last hard 5 hours of labor. Things that others didn't tell me before, obviously because no one I personally knew had been through such a rough delivery.  My mom certainly had an easy one with my sister. But mine was hell, and I will let you all know. She wouldn't come out, and my doc not only had to cut me, but she basically stuck her arms in me to get my baby out. I blacked out the last 20 seconds or so, it was that painful, and mind you, I had 2 doses of medicine in me. And I wanted a natural birth!!! HAHA. Not with pitocin. So this advice to all of you, if you are progressing normally, always refuse that shit unless they say it's absolutely needed. 
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  • I'm sure I won't feel the catheter. I had no idea they did this... No one said anything to me. Everyone I know basically said everything that happens. They left that little ditty out. I knew you could poop from pushing. I just always had a fear of being catheterized. @FrozenMommy thanks !!! Thanks a lot LOL whatever happens il get through it right ??
  • Yep, pretty much @carlymarie021. The epi, the cath, the recovery. All of that was easy peasy compared to getting the baby out lol! The pain I went through, I actually said I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, and she's a real b...
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