Breast feeding in public?

sbeara25 · July 2015

Not meant to cause a big fuss on opinions and whatnot so let's please not make it that.

I'd like to breast feed and I understand that it means public breast feeding. I'm just wondering what other mums have done as far as respecting people's values and opinions. At the end of the day I'll do what I need to for LO but I'd rather avoid the confrontation that comes with it. Coverup methods, feeding friendly locations, places where management supports you, or something you came up with on your own would be greatly appreciated. The only thing I refuse to do is feed in the bathroom.

sck601 · July 2015

I always used a blanket to cover myself in public. I did feed in my car once, because my grandma caused a huge fuss about how inappropriate it was to breastfeed at the table. Since I was a brand new mom, I freaked out and BF in my car while I bawled my eyes out. After that, I didn't care. My kid needed to eat.

steph_pegasus · July 2015

If it comes down to it, I am always going to value my child's nourishment (and my comfort while providing it) over a friend's/family member's/complete stranger's comfort. If they don't want to see, then they shouldn't look, you know what I mean?
DD never tolerated her head being covered, so I usually used the receiving blanket to cover my chest and give her something to hold instead of playing with my bra strap or whatever else she could reach.

Until you've actually nursed in public, it seems like a really big deal, but I promise you it isn't. The stories you hear about nursing moms asked to leave or hounded by a stranger are very uncommon.

vvitchhazel · July 2015

It's not something I'm even concerning myself with. It's my right to breastfeed where I want, when I want. There was just a big nurse-in here, because an employee at the post office made a big stink about a woman breastfeeding. Guess what? The law protects us. I know the laws are different from state to state, but here in Wisconsin, if I'm allowed to be somewhere whether it's a public or private location, I'm allowed to breastfeed there. And it's against the law to tell me to cover myself or the baby or to tell me to move somewhere else. There's also a $200 penalty for anyone that breaks these laws. Know your rights! If you want to cover, go for it. If not, don't. You have to do what makes you the most comfortable. Just make sure you know that you do have rights and no one should shame you into believing otherwise.

aphilli8 · July 2015

If somebody has the opinion you shouldn't breastfeed in public, then they shouldn't do it. That's not my opinion though so I did it whenever/wherever.

If your uncomfortable you can use a cover or go hide out somewhere. Some places have designated areas, but I don't see that too often.

MeghaJake · July 2015

I like to wear nursing shirts or two shirts. That way there is almost no boob or stomach showing. People usually don't know what's happening. I nurse in public all the time and have never received a negative comment. I don't use cover ups.

Leah6120 · July 2015

Do whatever you feel comfortable with. In my opinion if people are paying close enough attention to complain then they are paying too close attention. I mean, if I have a way to give myself a little privacy I'll try to do that but I'm not missing dinner to sit in the car or nurse in a dirty bathroom to make some stranger feel comfortable. Ill probably attempt a cover in busy areas if baby goes for it, but that's my personal preference. Like pp said, the law is on your side for WHATEVER feeding choice you make.

mg137 · July 2015

Most shirts that aren't too tight will drape nicely and cover everything baby isn't covering. Just lift shirt, pop boob out, latch baby, and let short drape. You might be exposed a little when baby goes on or off but not during nursing. I've found everyone is totally cool about it. Maybe because I made a reasonable effort to cover up with my shirt (never used a cover though, bc I want to be able to see the baby) but who knows. I didn't nurse in public much because I couldn't do two babies at once without flashing everyone and they were always hungry at the same time. When we flew I was practically nursing constantly. I apologized to the man sitting next to me and he said, "for what? I was 4 months old once too." The other way, the 20 something guy next to me just said, " They're adorable."

jeanbug12 · July 2015

I breastfed wherever, whenever. I never used a cover, instead wore clothing that allowed me to nurse discreetly. I found it was easiest to wear tops, not dresses. I would wear a nursing tank under my shirt so the tank kept my back and belly covered and I could lift the top shirt to nurse. The top shirt kept me from exposing any part of my chest and LOs head covered everything else. People were completely oblivious to the fact I was nursing.

vvitchhazel · July 2015

@mg137 Little did you realize that the they're in they're adorable was meant for YOUR twins, not your twins!

)

thereisalight · July 2015

Never bothered with caring. As PP have said, your baby's nourishment is way more important than a random persons opinion. I fed my son while carrying him usually, so in a way it was very difficult to see much unless you were hovering over my shoulder haha.

I've never had a negative experience in public, in fact the opposite. Once I was in the grocery store and DS needed to nurse. A man with cut off shorts and a nascar hat on approached me and I thought "oh no, here we go". Instead of saying something offensive to me he congratulated me on my choice to breastfeed and said I was doing a wonderful thing for my child. I then felt like the asshole for judging him before he opened his mouth!

willashbaby · July 2015

I live in NY, women breastfeed everywhere and no one gives a hoot. Some restaurants specifically say "no children or babies" but asides from that anywhere is free game. Several of my friends have been able to breastfeed while wearing their babies in an ergo, others use coverups. The only thing that seems important is having a chair with a back so you have support.

indibidule · July 2015

Also, target just released a huge thing about being super bf friendly. They offer fitting rooms if you want somewhere private (not a bathroom!) And their employees are supposed to back you up if any other customer does choose to say something.

OrangeFox · July 2015

I never used a cover. I just stopped breastfeeding my 2+ year old a few weeks ago because it was becoming painful. And I had a lot of fatigue, decided it was time. I really only breastfed in public when DS was younger, under a year. The last year DS only wanted mama milk in the morning and before bed sometimes. I don't care about other people breastfeeding older children in public, it's just how it worked out for us.

They only comments I ever got were positive ones.

Monilee1017 · July 2015

I only breastfeed for a short time, 2 months. I never breastfeed in public because I never really needed to go anywhere for a long period of time with DS. When I went to someones home I respected it as I was a guest in it. If I knew it would make them uncomfortable I would ask if there was a room I could breastfeed in. In homes where I knew they won't care I still used a cover-up. I have very large breast and they have always been stared, so I really didn't want anymore attention on them then there already was.

babybluu · July 2015

Off topic but what the heck happened to @StephPegasus??? Why is she banned?

SummerOH · July 2015

It's about your comfort level. If you don't mind, then do it wherever! I'm a pretty modest person, so I always found a secluded spot and/or used a cover. Baby wearing is AWESOME for nursing, too. Ring slings have extra fabric you can drape over baby's head so you can walk around nursing and no one will ever know. Perfect for on the go feedings. Fortunately, the only places we seem to go very often these days are very BF friendly and have nursing stations (the zoo, parks, malls, the library).

babybluu · July 2015

I've always been worried about breastfeeding in public too, but because of my own comfort levels. I know breasts are not sexual, but to me thinking about not having a cover up freaks me out and makes me feel exposed. I know you see no nipple and stuff, I've seen a mother properly nurse without a cover but imagining myself in that situations worries me and makes me feel uncomfortable. In a perfect situation I would be able to use a cover... If baby doesn't cooperate with a cover however, I'm just gonna have to suck it up and nurse without one, because giving up nursing so I don't have to do it in public isn't worth it to me.

Any other STM+ feel the same way at first and then feel different after baby arrives? I'm hoping once the baby comes I'll feel better and more confident about it.

claireloSC · July 2015

I plan to do whatever works for my baby. @babybluu My sister and sister in law both went from 'let's try to be modest' to 'who gives a f*&%' because their kid was hungry and whatever. I am usually uncomfortable with that stuff too but I think I will get over it.

Besides Target, here are some others that often do: Nordstrom, Ikea, Motherhood Maternity, Baby Gap, Buy Buy Baby, Babies R Us, Lord and Taylor, Bloomingdales, Saks Fifth Avenue, Macy's

Here's a good summary of the laws state by state: https://www.ncsl.org/research/health/breastfeeding-state-laws.aspx

Forty-nine states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location. (Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin and Wyoming.)
Twenty-nine states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws. (Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming.)
Twenty-seven states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico have laws related to breastfeeding in the workplace. (Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington and Wyoming.)
Seventeen states and Puerto Rico exempt breastfeeding mothers from jury duty or allow jury service to be postponed. (California, Connecticut, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Utah and Virginia.)
Five states and Puerto Rico have implemented or encouraged the development of a breastfeeding awareness education campaign. (California, Illinois, Minnesota, Missouri and Vermont.)

LauraFi · July 2015

a cute hat for breastfeeding babies

LauraFi · July 2015

I am a FTM but just planning on using nursing tops that make it easier to do in public, and have also heard you can nurse while using carriers/wraps like the Ergo and K'Tan. @babybluu they are talking about it on the RTT.

sbeara25 · July 2015

Thanks for the encouraging words

i was slightly worried because of an altercation I saw. I don't see it often but often enough that it worries me. Nice to hear that people don't even seem to notice

sits easier with me

In all honesty I don't go out muh as it is but I'm sure it'll come up. Thanks girls

sbeara25 · July 2015

LauraFi said:
a cute hat for breastfeeding babies

If had more courage I would def pull that out when someone got mean about it

danasphillips · July 2015

Do whatever you want to do. If someone says something, the law is on your side.

CaraBoonie · July 2015

I personally am a little more modest about my body and can't imagine BFing around anybody other than DH without a little covering up, but I don't really care what other people do (although I admittedly would prefer not to see other's nips in public, I would never say anything, I just look away, and I'm not like...offended, it's just my personal preference...most women are very sly about BFing and you honestly have to be watching them like a hawk to see anything anyway!)

alandaim · July 2015

I breastfed my first, but I didn't feel comfortable nursing without a cover in public. I usually tried to nurse her before we went out to eat so she wouldn't need to eat at the restaurant or use a blanket if I needed to. I am all for personal choice and doing what you feel comfortable with. It just made me feel more at ease when I was covered.

Ju111310 · July 2015

For the first few months, we honestly didn't go out a whole lot. He would nurse for 25-30 mins at a time during the day. If he needed to nurse while we were out, I always felt more comfortable doing it at a restaurant in a booth. Wore two shirts, got him latched on and draped a Muslin blanket over me to help cover up any extra boob. Later on, as he became a quicker nursed we went out a lot more. If he needed to nurse in a place that didn't have a fitting room or a somewhat quiet place to sit, I would go to my car rather than the bathroom. Just my personal preference, I've never been good at walking around shopping and nursing at the same time. I've never gotten a dirty look or comment about it. I am a baby wearer but I rarely succeeded in nursing in a carrier, I did get an ergo for this new LO which I hope will be more nursing friendly!

missperky · July 2015

I was only able to breastfeed for 6 months, but NIP was a non issue. There was only one time when a waitress in Texas tried to cover my 1 month old daughter's head with a paper napkin! She promptly got her hand shooed. If you feel that you need to cover up nursing in a wrap or carrier is a very discret option.

cawalp · July 2015

FTM and I plan on breastfeeding whenever he needs me too. I am also uncomfortable with doing it front of anyone but DH without a cover, but more because I would be uncomfortable not other people. So for now I plan on using a cover, but if he doesn't like that I will just go somewhere semi private. I also plan on pumping and using bottles so DH can help feed so I may just use bottles when out and about.

Paige6410 · July 2015

I will feed my child anywhere at any time that they need. If the baby refuses to be under a cover, so be it. Anyone that wants to argue that it's "immoral" or "impolite" needs to march their ass back to 9th grade health class and learn about what tits are actually for.

Snoopylovesbelle · July 2015

I nursed DD but it was such an ordeal that I rarely did it in public. If I have better luck with this baby I will hopfully be more comfortable. I'm pretty modest so I used a cover but if baby isn't having it then so be it.
Nurse where you want.
I came across a younger mom nursing in the batbroom at my doctors office and told her she didn't have to nurse in there she could go sit in the waiting room out of range of the flushing toilets. She had no idea and was afraid to because someone yelled at her in the beginning of her pregnancy and told her it was gross X(
I told her she can go where she wants and if someone argues she should tell them to F off and make a scene.
Every woman in the room will be on her side.

enkb · July 2015

Wonderful to hear all the positive comments! I plan to breastfeed as long as LO wants, but I own a business where I teach classes to small groups of adults (nearly always women) a few times a week. Anyone have any thoughts on breastfeeding while actively teaching a class? FTM so I've never breastfed before, but I don't find the idea of BF in public without a cover distressing, I don't think I'll have modesty issues with it, just wondering if there was a different 'appropriateness' scale for being the center of attention in a room with 6 strangers

fragglemom · July 2015

I think everyone should do what they need to do. BF doesn't really come that easy to everyone, especially FTMs. I say whatever works for you and baby is way more important than what others think.

MrsB915 · July 2015

I am a fairly modest person and also have large breast so NIP without a cover didn't work for me. The cover that I used was the NuRoo which can be worn several different "fashion" ways, including as a scarf. So if we were going out to dinner to something I'd go to the restaurant with it as a scarf and when it was time to nurse just unwind it and pop ds on. I'd often nurse ds in the car when running errands. I saw it as a time to rest in the middle of a busy outing. Just listened to the radio and played on my phone. I didn't use a cover then.

On my last bmb someone recommended nursing in front of a mirror at home to see that you really don't show much skin when NIP without a cover. Then you can practice getting them latched and adjusting your top so you are comfortable.

jezygal · July 2015

I breastfed my daughter and never had to show my boobs to everyone the way some women think you do. You can use a cover which is nice, but when babies gets bigger many of the don't want to be covered while eating. My simple solution is a nursing tank under your shirt, you pull your shirt up and the nursing tank unsnaps and folds down, this way only a small among of your boobs is out and the baby is covering that much. Also anytime there is a place to sit down use it, babies get heavy and it's a whole lot more comfortable even if it takes time. Personal opinion here but I can't stand to see women pull the sleeve of their top or dress all the way down to breastfed, it just seems like their trying to get attention and disrespectful, I wouldn't even do that in front of family. Not to mention their are to many creeps out their and my husband wouldn't appreciate it.

mamaksweez · July 2015

babybluu said:
Off topic but what the heck happened to @StephPegasus??? Why is she banned?

I want to know too!!!

mvhyde · July 2015

I nursed in public but always with a cover. I have huge boobs and pepperoni nipples that never got covered till lo was at least 9 months old. That said he was a pain to latch as a new born. I would latch him without the cover and put the hooter hider on later. I am more modest about my body (self esteem issues more than anything). But I would defend any mom's right to bf in public without a cover.
Also if someone has a problem with you nursing a baby in their home, maybe they shouldn't invite people with new born/ babies to their homes. Not every mom can pump and not every baby will take a bottle, especially if mom is around.

UptownPearl · July 2015

I'm a modest person and probably considered a prude to most, so cover ups and a private place are the only thing I am comfortable with as far as "public" breastfeeding. I'm just absolutely not comfortable with having so much breast exposed, but that's just me. You'll have to see what works for you and your baby and what you're comfortable with.

Sovvy · July 2015

StephPegasus said:

If it comes down to it, I am always going to value my child's nourishment (and my comfort while providing it) over a friend's/family member's/complete stranger's comfort. If they don't want to see, then they shouldn't look, you know what I mean? DD never tolerated her head being covered, so I usually used the receiving blanket to cover my chest and give her something to hold instead of playing with my bra strap or whatever else she could reach. Until you've actually nursed in public, it seems like a really big deal, but I promise you it isn't. The stories you hear about nursing moms asked to leave or hounded by a stranger are very uncommon.

This x 1000. My kid refused to be covered from day one and I'm glad.

ariasbabyblog · July 2015

This is a good site I found that states the breastfeeding laws for each state:

https://breastfeedinglaw.com/

There is also this site which sums up the laws rather neatly a little ways down the page:

https://www.ncsl.org/research/health/breastfeeding-state-laws.aspx

mommaSimpkin · July 2015

I'm all for breast feeding my baby, and that goes for where ever I am. In public or not.. the only problem I have with it, was my SIL.

I don't have a problem with it normally, but when my dad's sitting there and she just whips her boob out infront of everyone. Like she doesn't care who sees her boob.
She'll just whip it out, nipple and all, before she's even ready with my nephew.

Like I said. I'm ok with breast feeding in public, but I'm not ok with basically walking around with your boob out just because you can.

I, will be breast feeding my LO. In public when ever it's needed. But I will be curtious to others when I can be. I will cover with a blanket or whatever like I did with my DS. Because I understand my dad or mother in law, doesn't want to see my nipple and all.

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