Your birth plan sounds great

hopeful87-2 · July 2015

... Is anyone else needing to hear these words? I have had so many people recently ask me if I'm going epidural or natural recently and after telling me how they support women and their right to make the best decisions for themselves, they go on to tell me horror stories about epidural and trying to convince me into having a non medicated birth. Both my mom and sister went on all natural and more power to them! However, I do not feel this is the correct decision for me and I'm a little discouraged with all the seemingly feminist women that have made me feel like my decision is a second class one. Anyone else, planning on natural or medication feeling this way???

I have sworn to myself I'm just going to say "that's great, I hope it works out well for you!" Is going to be my only response to pregnant women from now on, no matter what their decisions are, I'm sure they are the best choices for them!

piscesmommy222 · July 2015

Totally agree with you!

KERJF · July 2015

I did have a bad experience with an epi but if someone says thats part of their plan - I dont say anything about mine. I think everyone should choose how they want to give birth (though I will openly question if someone says they are choosing to be induced with no medical reason behind it).
It really is a to each their own thing. Just like home birth vs birth center vs hospital, or breast feeding vs pumping vs formula, ect.

jabeauty90 · July 2015

I feel that YOU are the one going through labor and not anyone else. The decisions you make are what you feel are best. Don't let others try to convince you otherwise.
I wanted all natural with my first and told midwife, now when the time came I was in too much pain from the pictocin so I decided on an epidural and my midwife was not happy. I was though so it didn't matter.
With my second I told her I wanted natural but if I needed an epidural later on I'd get it and sure enough the pain between a migraine and pictocin had me getting the epidural.
No matter what you should let them know what you want and if you aren't open to medication then have someone stick with it for you, a spouse or friend, anyone who can vouch you only want a natural birth and vice versa.

rebeccabloomwood · July 2015

Bring on the epidural! I do not need to be a hero and impress anyone but myself. I hear ya! My first epidural was a dream (ended in c section but for other reasons)

APeart2014 · July 2015

I have had many women do the same to me. I think they only like your birth plan if it is what they did. We are all different. Different pregnancies. Different beliefs. Different desires. Your birth plan is just that...YOUR birth plan. Don't allow anyone to make you doubt yourself. Your plan is awesome and is what you want. The baby getting out and being healthy is what we all want. We shouldn't be judged on how we get there.

Taekarate1978 · July 2015

The epidural was too late to kick in with my first, but I sure felt awesome after he was born. I had an epidural drip with my second child, most awesome birthing experience, ever. I plan to have an epidural with this one, also. Do what you feel is best for you and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it.

andrewmooreco · July 2015

I'm planning on a natural birth but mostly because I'm just terrified of hospitals. In the birth center I plan to use I can get some pain medication but no epidural. People have been incredibly unsupportive of my choice, with very negative comments about how I should just suck it up and get the epi. So I guess my point is, some people are going to be critical no matter what choice you make. When it comes down to it though, it's your birth experience and I think the most important thing is to feel comfortable with your own plan.

sarahlinde · July 2015

Yes, people like to voice their opinions way too much! I personally dont give a sh*t what people say though and don't have a problem telling them that. I had one birth w/o epi and never want to do it again, that is for the birds. Do what you want to do and what is right for you and your situation. Try not to let those people bother you! I am not breastfeeding this time around and many people have voiced their opinions about that as well.

jwebbbber45678 · July 2015

Just tell them your birth plan is to get the baby from your insides to the outside. However that happens shouldn't matter to anyone but you! Plus most birth plans go out the window anyways when complications or unexpected circumstances arrive. I don't want an epidural because the needle terrifies me, but I doubt that fear will be relevant if I'm in labor for 24 hours. As long as the end result is a healthy baby, people shouldn't care about how that happened!

turntopage394 · July 2015

Why even discuss your birth plan with anyone other than your birth team? It just opens the door for unwelcome opinions and stories. Just tell people you plan to meet your child that day and any decisions in between are private and none of their business. The kid isn't coming out of their vagina, so they can kindly mind their own.

Earcar · July 2015

I hear ya. I've gone naturally both times and plan to do so again for my own personal reasons. I have no issues if you want an epidural or whatever else you need to get baby safely on the outside. I've been torn down because I've opted out of medication. I think that's the wonderful thing about pregnancy and motherhood, we each get to do it, our own way. I just don't understand why different automatically mean wrong. I still love talking about labours though...Just think, our babies are gonna be here in less than 2 months y'all!

WDDCH · July 2015

Some people think their way is the only right way. And want to push their beliefs onto others. The most appropriate thing we can do for one another is to fight for the right to have choices in birth and then encourage one another when we've made informed decisions for our own situation.

I have had medicated and unmedicated births. I prefer unmedicated. If you want a cesarean or an epidural then that's a personal choice that you should be allowed to make, with your SO and with your care provider.

I'm super sorry they're not being accepting of your choices. If people don't want to support you then limit how much they're told.

ETA: Doesn't matter what you choose it seems. Plenty of women who want to give birth unmedicated meet a lot of unwelcome opinions and shock and snarky comments. Just keep on keepin' on! Do what you know is best!

hopeful87-2 · July 2015

Thanks for the words of empowerment ladies! Just needed to hear from some women that are actually supportive of each individual's personal choice, I appreciate all your insights!

krose92 · July 2015

I know exactly how you feel. My in-laws are all about natural birth... almost obsessive! I never dreamed of doing a natural birth until I got to know them. Now the idea sounds attractive, so I'm gonna try it, but I'm still open to doing an epidural if needed. Unlike the in-laws, my sisters think I'm crazy for even considering going med-free!

Thank goodness for my mom and DH. They both totally support whatever direction I take. DH would prefer I do it naturally, but won't stand in the way of my getting pain meds should I choose too (as if he'd have a say in the matter! lol).

lulubemadness · July 2015

totally fine for women who want an epidural and also those qhi don't. my birth plan is simple "god please I hope I don't tear" & epidural/c section are my very last result if there are complications simple because I am a wuss when it comes to needles. D; otherwise I'd totally go for medicated! pretty sure I'm not the only one that would want to enjoy my vajayjay being torn or stretched happily Lol but more power to women who aren't afraid of it cause jeez I have nightmares of giving birth! Lol FTM here

bmolson1 · July 2015

I don't really understand why people ask or even discuss this. I feel like it's a personal choice and it's none of their business. I chose to have a natural birth with DD1 but never discussed it with family or friends. I didn't want to hear their opinions or horror stories and the medical decisions I make about my body are not their concern anyway. I think people are way too "boundary-free" with pregnant women.

baker1jm2 · July 2015

People will always have an opinion that they feel they need to share. Our birth class instructor told us that the epidural use rate was over 90% for all denver metro area (which shocked me bc you ALWAYS hear about all natural births) hospitals so I feel like some of these people who claim natural births are stretching the truth or we just aren't hearing about the ppl who are getting the epidurals. The prize at the end of birth, no matter which plan you choose is right for you, is the same. We all get a baby!

RubyRed80 · July 2015

Do what you feel is best for yourself. As long as the baby is healthy and breathing that's all that matters at the end. I tried to do it naturally but, my body did not relax for me to dilate. As soon as I got the epidural, my body started to work. I was induced with my first one and I went two days into labor. My doctor said if I had not dilated on the third day he would consider a Csection. Fortunately for me after the epi, I started dilating fast and my baby girl was here in no time. Everyone's birth plan is not the same and things do change because the path we want to take may not be the best one for us to take.

jbettles · July 2015

My sister wanted a natural birth with both of hers, but her labors stretched on for so long that she caved and got an epi for both due to the pain. Yet, she has criticized me for wanting an epi from the start... My mom finally put her in her place by pointing out she would've saved herself all that pain by just getting one from the get go, so why criticize me??? Lol. I admire her and anyone wanting to go all natural, but it's just not for me. My only issue is that, with both #1 and this one, I have a low platelet count. If it drops to a certain point, they won't allow an epidural, so just have to cross my fingers that doesn't happen!!

TeacherMom210 · July 2015

jweber4747 said:

Just tell them your birth plan is to get the baby from your insides to the outside. However that happens shouldn't matter to anyone but you! Plus most birth plans go out the window anyways when complications or unexpected circumstances arrive. I don't want an epidural because the needle terrifies me, but I doubt that fear will be relevant if I'm in labor for 24 hours. As long as the end result is a healthy baby, people shouldn't care about how that happened!

Ditto this. People are far too nosy these days and want to know everything about everything. Some things aren't anyone else's business, and you don't have to discus it with anyone you don't want to.

mriandabusto · July 2015

All of my aunties have discussed this with me and I'm getting an epidural, they all think it's the best thing in the world. My grandma says that if it was available back when she had her 7 kids she would have loved it.
I'll be feeling enough pain after giving birth for a few weeks I don't understand why I should force myself to feel it during as well.

Moprathet · July 2015

@kenzjim I think your birth plan sounds great!!!!

urfcerin · July 2015

I take any and all medication they offer!! I had an epidural for both of my previous pregnancies and had no issues, although my last delivery ended in an emergency c-section not related to epidural. I am having a scheduled csection this time so of course there will be pain management. Good luck mama! I know far more women who opt for the meds over natural delivery.

Cristin123 · July 2015

I've been trying to steer any conversations away from the topic but sometimes it's unavoidable. If I do express my intention for a medication free birth I always say we are hoping for it but by no means are against it for others. People get real defensive of their own decision or they roll their eyes are say good luck. I figure when it's all over I can tell people how it went and that's that. I will try to remember not to discourage others when their time comes though!

sakiraharrison · July 2015

Shame on anyone who judges YOUR birth plan, you take the epi, do what makes YOU comfortable! Here you go, your birth plan sounds perfect for you, and I wish you the smoothest, happiest, birth no matter what. As long as your baby is healthy and you're happy and comfortable (as comfortable as you can be lol) that's all that matters!!!

dmland17 · July 2015

I understand how you feel, but I'm on the flip side. Every time someone hears that I want to try a natural birth, they roll their eyes at me like I'm such a naive FTM and go on to tell me their labor horror stories and that there is no way I'll make it through without drugs. Do what feels right to you. It's your baby and your birth experience.

PregNancyClark · July 2015

We've were initially pretty secretive about our birth plans for that same reason. Word got out at work (I told the wrong friend) that we were having a natural birth out of the hospital and it's been a little awkward fielding skeptical questions and uninformed opinions from random coworkers and clients... Sigh.
But we just don't discuss it with friends or family. My mom knows, but that's about it! I'm focusing on the outcome I believe in and I don't need a hundred naysayers plaguing me! Luckily work is over on August 7th and I can nest to my heart's delight. No naysayers.

You're not alone girl! Haters gonna hate.

surprisepkg31 · July 2015

So obnoxious, I feel like this entire pregnancy and mom thing is just another way for women to be hard on each other. I'm wanting a natural birth but I also won't be disappointed if I can't handle it. I'm not trying to be a martyr, I just am more concerned with my body doing what it should and feeling like I have control. Birth is completely unpredictable and you have to be open. I wouldn't sweat it, no one is better than anyone. Getting through 9 months of pregnancy is tough and then to labor for so long? I don't blame anyone or consider it second class for saying yes to making it as easy as possible. Women of the past were truly amazing but I bet you they would gladly say yes to pain relief and unfortunately probably lost many children and women to childbirth as well.

amp61470 · July 2015

I want to avoid an epi if I can, though my sisters and others think I am nuts. For me it's about the needle and a fear. However, I don't think there is anything wrong with getting one. I have had kidney stones and used very little pain meds so I am hoping I can do this without the epi and just using pain medication. If I can the epi remains an option.
Why people feel the need to interject their strong opinions is beyond me. It should be about what you are comfortable with.

jennahkross · July 2015

And....you will run into the same types of women once this baby arrives. Everyone will have an opinion about how to raise your child. It's always important to remember (just like now, knowing what's best for you), that you are the mom and will know what is best for your little one!

adtaylor2015 · July 2015

My body, my labor, my baby= my choice. Like a PP said, some women think their way is the only "right" way. I've never understood why (some) women who go all natural during delivery think they are somehow superior to women who choose a medicated delivery- it's the same way with breast feeding moms vs formula feeding.

ash102211 · July 2015

I havnt really had anyone say anything about my birth plan as I really don't have one. Every time I go to the doctor I get told I'll be induced at different times so I'm just going with them for now. I do find though when woman hear I don't want to breastfeed...that opens a whole new can of worms and the opinions start flowing. I tell them I am choosing to try to pump but not actual breast feed and they start to calm down but then it's all.about how it won't work..you can't do it working..etc..I just shake it off and go on my way!

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