We only had to ask my in laws. They had no problem. I just explained the risk and that my baby's health comes first. My side of the family were all vaccinated when my nephew was born 2 years ago. When my sister asked me to get it done I was down the Drs straight away.
If someone doesn't want to get vaccinated that's fine. They can wait till my baby is 8 weeks old and all his vaccinations have kicked in.
There has been an outbreak of whooping cough in Australia recently and the parents of one baby boy who passed away has started an amazing campaign. This is a picture I have seen a lot of on facebook with new mums.
Does this apply to friends who may come to visit in those first weeks? Feels like overkill, but I have no idea.
We just asked ones that would be around the baby more. My mom visits every week and was around a lot the first few weeks, so she got the vaccinations. My dad is planning to be more involved this time around so he's said he will as well.
With friends I would just ask them to delay their visit if they're at all under the weather. Maybe ask them to wash their hands before handling the baby if you like as well?
The thought had literally never occurred to me to ask anyone to vaccinate themselves to be around my baby. Even my husband. I have a weak immune system so don't react well, my mom is very protective of me with this because of all we went through when I was young so she doesn't even think I should get the whooping cough vax in my 3rd tri. I'm still undecided about this since this is a newer thing so will do it but may wait till after the baby is born.
I have also never had the flu vaccine and haven't had the flu since I was 6 (despite having a weakened immune system)...I do live in CA now so I don't believe there is as much of a flu season here as in other places. Also, I will be staying home with the baby and we will rarely leave the house in the first few months so will not be getting the flu vax because I feel our risk of flu is very low and don't feel like the risk of my reaction is worth it. Even though my husband has never had the flu in his life he will probably the vax since he doesn't have to worry about complications like I do
Ladies, please don't turn this into a vaccination debate - that would get UGLY really fast! My intention with this thread was just to see if others were asking their adult family members to get flu/whooping cough shots before meeting the baby. Thanks!
I've already let family know that I want anyone who plans on visiting to get vaccinated. My cousin's baby wound up with pneumonia 2 years ago, I don't want to go through a serious illness with LO. I found that most family members were fine with getting the vaccines (it makes sense after all to protect the baby). I said my DR recommended it and made sure that I didn't come across bossy. Good luck
@bostonbaby Thanks for asking. When I had my first shot as an infant I had a severe reaction. My mother decided after that to wait out the rest until she knew more. Then my brother was born. He was brought in for his DTap and had a life threatening reaction. He turned grey and was resuscitated. After that my mother and our doctor (still my doctor) discovered that we have allergies to not only ingredients in vaccinations but to some antibiotics as well. Then in grade 6 my cousin had the Hep B shot as everyone did in school and it was then that she had an unfortunate onset of an auto immune disorder (wegener's disease). When my daughter was born I declined vaccinations for her given the history and my doctor agreed. We chose to start a patient / doctor relationship with a naturopath and have used a homeopathic series of alternative vaccinations for the past 6 years. The homeopathic version is not simple but homeopathics have always been effective for me for other ailments (seasonal allergies/ anxiety/ etc). There is a specific schedule to follow for 5 years at a time. The thing my midwife found interesting is that in my bloodwork my rubella antibodies came back inconclusive. If I had no protection/ no exposure it would have come back as such and it is very unlikely that I have been in contact with rubella. My chicken pox antibodies came back saying I have immensities even though I have never had chicken pox as well.
With me and with my mom I know we both can't, due to serious allergies. My boss has HR because of the situation having it given on site and I'm "quarantined" anyone has any bit of sick is to stay away from me. My boss freaked after she realized I asked how my coworker was feeling because she'd been sick. I was on the other side of the office....
Thank you for this post. I hadn't even started to think about this yet. There have been a couple of outbreaks of Pertussis in my area over the last few years, so better safe! Even DH needs to go get his done.
Married September 2013, Excited to welcome Baby Thompson December 2015
@bostonbaby Thanks for asking. When I had my first shot as an infant I had a severe reaction. My mother decided after that to wait out the rest until she knew more. Then my brother was born. He was brought in for his DTap and had a life threatening reaction. He turned grey and was resuscitated. After that my mother and our doctor (still my doctor) discovered that we have allergies to not only ingredients in vaccinations but to some antibiotics as well. Then in grade 6 my cousin had the Hep B shot as everyone did in school and it was then that she had an unfortunate onset of an auto immune disorder (wegener's disease). When my daughter was born I declined vaccinations for her given the history and my doctor agreed. We chose to start a patient / doctor relationship with a naturopath and have used a homeopathic series of alternative vaccinations for the past 6 years. The homeopathic version is not simple but homeopathics have always been effective for me for other ailments (seasonal allergies/ anxiety/ etc). There is a specific schedule to follow for 5 years at a time. The thing my midwife found interesting is that in my bloodwork my rubella antibodies came back inconclusive. If I had no protection/ no exposure it would have come back as such and it is very unlikely that I have been in contact with rubella. My chicken pox antibodies came back saying I have immensities even though I have never had chicken pox as well.
Well, this is a little different than not getting them bc you "don't want to live your life in fear of people giving you a disease."
You have examples of why you can't get them and thus are of the percentage of people who aren't able to be vaccinated. I am unclear as to why you didn't mention that to begin with.
I honestly never thought about this. I personally have never had the flu shot or the whooping cough shot. I will be getting them while pregnant though. I want baby to be vaccinated so I will be getting the shots. Hubby and my dad will also be getting vaccinated now that I think of it and I will ask the in laws as well because they want to stay with us after baby is born. As for the people who will be around baby every once in a while I'm not going to ask. Thanks for starting this as I hadn't really thought about and now realize that it's really important.
Well, my siblings and I are not vaccinated and my child is not. I have a very clear understanding of preventable disease and am not naive at all. I can not live in fear that anyone around me could be carrying disease, especially when a massive majority of the population is not infected with the typically inoculated illness.
Nope. Most people aren't carrying the disease because most people get vaccines and therefore you have herd immunity. We are protecting you because the majority of us were smart enough to get vaccinated. You are welcome.
@bostonbaby Thanks for asking. When I had my first shot as an infant I had a severe reaction. My mother decided after that to wait out the rest until she knew more. Then my brother was born. He was brought in for his DTap and had a life threatening reaction. He turned grey and was resuscitated. After that my mother and our doctor (still my doctor) discovered that we have allergies to not only ingredients in vaccinations but to some antibiotics as well. Then in grade 6 my cousin had the Hep B shot as everyone did in school and it was then that she had an unfortunate onset of an auto immune disorder (wegener's disease). When my daughter was born I declined vaccinations for her given the history and my doctor agreed. We chose to start a patient / doctor relationship with a naturopath and have used a homeopathic series of alternative vaccinations for the past 6 years. The homeopathic version is not simple but homeopathics have always been effective for me for other ailments (seasonal allergies/ anxiety/ etc). There is a specific schedule to follow for 5 years at a time. The thing my midwife found interesting is that in my bloodwork my rubella antibodies came back inconclusive. If I had no protection/ no exposure it would have come back as such and it is very unlikely that I have been in contact with rubella. My chicken pox antibodies came back saying I have immensities even though I have never had chicken pox as well.
That sounds very scary. I also have a lot of allergies to medications & health issues. Because of this I need a flu shot every year but I get the preservative free shot to be safer. Unfortunately I haven't had such good luck with avoiding illness as you have. I had chickenpox twice AND shingles by the age of 7. Ive had double pneumonia in college. I've also had Hepatitis A when in Indonesia. It was awful.
I guess now that I read that I understand better why I stay up at night worrying about it :-(
*ETA- thank you for sharing your experience. I appreciate it!
All pregnant women should get this vaccine for every pregnancy. It helps your LO until s/he is old enough to get the vaccination.
I think it has a 10-year span, so this time, they shouldn't need it again. Please, anyone who has additional information, correct me if this isn't right.
The tetanus portion of the vaccine is 10 years. Recent studies have shown that the pertussis portion may have only a 5 year max span.
OP- I am having members of my family that haven't had a booster within 5 years get revacinated to be safe. I had pertussis in undergrad and I cannot imagine my child having that. It is deadly to infants. I won't take the risk of passing a preventable disease that can kill them to my child because they are afraid of a shot!
@Fuzzy228 Thank you! I would not hesitate in asking everyone to get another booster if it was needed. DD was born almost two years ago and she will be a little over two when this LO is born, so with the five year booster span, I won't need to I'll be getting it again in my 3rd tri as recommended, though.
When my sister had her baby two years ago, the whole family got tdap and flu vaccines. We were all happy to do it. If anyone is planning on spending a significant amount of time with your baby, you should have them get vaccinated.
Question: I had the TDap 3 years ago when my nephew was born, but I'm assuming that doesn't pass on the antibodies to my baby. Does that mean I should get it again?
Obviously I understand you're all not doctors, I will ask my doctor too, but we were on the topic anyway and I hadn't even thought about this.
Question: I had the TDap 3 years ago when my nephew was born, but I'm assuming that doesn't pass on the antibodies to my baby. Does that mean I should get it again?
Obviously I understand you're all not doctors, I will ask my doctor too, but we were on the topic anyway and I hadn't even thought about this.
I completely agree. My dad routinely ignores me when I encourage him to get a flu shot. I mentioned it seriously but also with humor and without skipping a beat, he said absolutely I will. My MIL has already gotten the TDAP vaccine for her job. We are both pretty adamant about vaccines and at this stage in the game the new grandparents are so excited about this baby they would do everything they can to keep baby safe and see he or she as often as possible! Our hospital also offers a "grandparent class" that they will all be attending which will cover safety as well as what's new and not so new in childbirth and infant care. I think that class, combined with what we relay from our OB, will help them feel well informed and a part of the whole experience.
My husband has severe allergies to the flu vaccine and as a family we do not partake in that. My kids are on a delayed schedule. I require pertussis first because of the huge Amish population here. It spreads like wildfire. I'll require family to receive that. I also limit visitors and outings. I baby wear to keep strangers away..
My parents and sibs will be visiting for a week or two around Christmas. Shes a nurse and had no qualms with making sure everyone was up to date.
My in laws work with children, so hopefully asking them won't be an issue... But you never know with in laws. Either way, I have no problem being "the bitch" and denying them contact until baby can get the shots him/herself.
If you go against the grain, I think you should be prepared to be excluded.
For example, I plan to cloth diaper and I absolutely know I will face so much bs from my husbands family. Good lord, when I breastfed my son they'd act like I was asking for singles. (Asked to go into another room, go into a public bathroom ect..)
But I cannot afford to spend $80+ a month on disposable diapers nor can I afford formula. (And from a personal perspective, breast is best and the most incredible gift I can give my baby. Steps off soapbox.)
Anyway back to the topic at hand, I would much rather offend or hurt the feelings of an adult then risk the life of my infant child. Because let's face it, we love our babies more than anyone else.
I didn't read previous posts as I know there can be some drama associated w/ posts like this. With DS, I got the vaccination in my third tri, had DH get it as well as my MIL, FIL, BIL and SIL. I also asked my parents to get it as they would visited and stayed with us for a couple weeks in the beginning. Other than that, I didn't go crazy about it. This time around, it's a non issue since they all just got their shots less than 2 years ago The only other person I'm concerned about is our nanny, I'm going to ask if she had it when she was pregnant (she has a 7 month old) and if so I won't worry about it - if not, I may request she get it but I won't force the issue.
BFs family is against flu vaccines, however I will mention that updated vaccines are important to everyone who plans on being around the baby frequently, and that regardless I will be very strict on who is allowed to hold baby. Fortunately, as BFs grandfather is a liver transplant patient, we are all used to treading cautiously around his compromised immune system.
I didn't read previous posts as I know there can be some drama associated w/ posts like this. With DS, I got the vaccination in my third tri, had DH get it as well as my MIL, FIL, BIL and SIL. I also asked my parents to get it as they would visited and stayed with us for a couple weeks in the beginning. Other than that, I didn't go crazy about it. This time around, it's a non issue since they all just got their shots less than 2 years ago The only other person I'm concerned about is our nanny, I'm going to ask if she had it when she was pregnant (she has a 7 month old) and if so I won't worry about it - if not, I may request she get it but I won't force the issue.
Holy smokes, of all people you need to require that your nanny get her tdap! I'm sure she did for her own baby but other than you and dh, your nanny is your kid's major primary contact, ie the person most likely to pass on something if exposed. I'd 100% require a flu vax as well.
I mentioned the whooping cough vaccine to my in-laws tonight and did not get the response I was hoping for they weren't opposed to getting it but they questioned why it was necessary. And made me feel really badly when they asked if I wouldn't let them hold baby without it and I said yes. I even offered for us to pay for the vac.
It also plays into my worries about Christmas celebrations which usually involves 30 extended family members with baby potentially only being a week or two old. I just don't feel comfortable bringing baby into that large of a group!
It's particularly difficult because this is our first child but their fourth grandchild and my brother and sister-in-law haven't been as vililant about this kind of stuff. It makes me seem ultra paranoid and requires me to justify everything.
Any tips for how to cope??? Am I being too conservative here?
I mentioned the whooping cough vaccine to my in-laws tonight and did not get the response I was hoping for they weren't opposed to getting it but they questioned why it was necessary. And made me feel really badly when they asked if I wouldn't let them hold baby without it and I said yes. I even offered for us to pay for the vac.
It also plays into my worries about Christmas celebrations which usually involves 30 extended family members with baby potentially only being a week or two old. I just don't feel comfortable bringing baby into that large of a group!
It's particularly difficult because this is our first child but their fourth grandchild and my brother and sister-in-law haven't been as vililant about this kind of stuff. It makes me seem ultra paranoid and requires me to justify everything.
Any tips for how to cope??? Am I being too conservative here?
Cope with what? It is your child and you are not obligated to put him in any situation you are uncomfortable with. There is nothing you need to justify, explain that you don't want to take risks with your child getting a deadly virus and dying. That is it. Nothing else to discuss. If anyone tries to make you feel guilty for this decision, kindly remind them that you are the mother and will gladly keep your child at a safe distance from them until he is older. If you don't feel comfortable taking a newborn into that size of a group, then don't. If you live close, invite a couple close people over and have a separate celebration. Extended family can wait to meet baby IMO. Our baby is due the 12th and won't be attending any large family gatherings if he is born that late.
@sarahgn don't doubt your instincts as a mom - you are your baby's advocate, and you need to stick with your decisions if they are right for your baby! Asking family to get vaccinated comes with a wide variety of responses, but you can always tell them it has been highly recommended by your OB and the baby's pediatrician. For my family, once they heard it was my doctor (and not just me being demanding) they were much more receptive
@sarahgn don't doubt your instincts as a mom - you are your baby's advocate, and you need to stick with your decisions if they are right for your baby! Asking family to get vaccinated comes with a wide variety of responses, but you can always tell them it has been highly recommended by your OB and the baby's pediatrician. For my family, once they heard it was my doctor (and not just me being demanding) they were much more receptive
Was this directed towards @Ashie523? I was telling her pretty much the same thing
I just want to add, for anyone who is unsure of how to bring this up to their family, I simply told my parents and in laws that my OB and baby's future Ped have suggested/requested that they update their vaccines to include this years flu shot and pertussis. I know how my in laws are, if I told them it was coming from me, they'd get offended and see it as a power struggle. Not that I care, because hello, I'm the mother here, but I feel that if they think it's coming from a doctor, they'd be more apt to do it.
I've only mentioned just the flu shot to SO so far and didn't get a very good response, so I can't imagine how the rest of it is going to go. I may take @yl1m32015 's advice and tell them that it's coming from the OB, not me. If they still don't want to make sure that LO will be safe from preventable diseases, I'll just have to tell them they can't see him until they do. Especially considering it will be flu/cold season. I won't risk losing LO because an adult can't handle getting a needle. I'll also be requesting everyone either wash their hands or use sanitizer and stay away if they have any symptoms of anything contagious.
I've already discussed this with family members who will be near my child. Whoever refuses to get flu shot and tdap won't be near my child, simple as that. I'm the mom I make the calls my baby's health is more important than someone thinking I'm rude for asking. Same thing with cigarette smoke. I have strong feelings towards both.
Thanks for all the encouragement ladies! Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels strongly about this. And I think doctors orders will go a long way.
Any suggestions for how to navigate the issue of the very different approaches my brother-in-lawand sister-in-law have taken with their 5yr, 2yr and 6 month olds to what we are asking??
I'm concerned my strong stance will come across as criticism of them since they never asked the inlaws to get any vaccines/boosters. They are a lot less vigilant (and possibly less aware of the risks because they went with a midwife only and no OB/GYN). My inlaws can't seem to understand why I am asking for it if they didn't!!
Obviously I feel strongly about this but I want to avoid offending anyone.
@Ashie523 Maybe just mention that recommendations have changed recently with the increasing number of infections over the past few years (this is the same reason it's now recommended mom get tdap with each pregnancy when it wasn't in the past). I'm guessing you'll probably be seeing a different pediatrician or family physician that your BIL and SIL so maybe just say it's something your doctor in particular really pushes more?
I can't have the tdap so my OB and baby's doctor both strongly pushed family being vaccinated for the "bubble of immunity". They still only needed the one shot, so if they got it when DS was born they won't need to now. Most had no issues with it since it was multiple doctors recommending it and it wouldn't need to be repeated, it was to protect the baby. The struggle was with my MIL. She didn't understand why it was even an issue until I sent her information the CDC had for the number of cases of pertussis over the past few years.
I simply told both of our families that my Dr. recommended an update to both vaccines, because there have been major outbreaks in the last couple of years and surprisingly bith SO's and my Grandmother were the biggest supporters (because whooping cough was prevalent when they were having babies). The only person I know who told me it was rude to ask people was my anti vaxxer friend due in Oct when we were talking about our pregnancies. I think it's more rude to get a newborn baby or his mother sick
Re: Asking Family Members to get Flu/Whooping Cough Vaccinations?
With friends I would just ask them to delay their visit if they're at all under the weather. Maybe ask them to wash their hands before handling the baby if you like as well?
I have a weak immune system so don't react well, my mom is very protective of me with this because of all we went through when I was young so she doesn't even think I should get the whooping cough vax in my 3rd tri. I'm still undecided about this since this is a newer thing so will do it but may wait till after the baby is born.
I have also never had the flu vaccine and haven't had the flu since I was 6 (despite having a weakened immune system)...I do live in CA now so I don't believe there is as much of a flu season here as in other places. Also, I will be staying home with the baby and we will rarely leave the house in the first few months so will not be getting the flu vax because I feel our risk of flu is very low and don't feel like the risk of my reaction is worth it. Even though my husband has never had the flu in his life he will probably the vax since he doesn't have to worry about complications like I do
Jamie
As for the people who will be around baby every once in a while I'm not going to ask.
Thanks for starting this as I hadn't really thought about and now realize that it's really important.
I guess now that I read that I understand better why I stay up at night worrying about it :-(
*ETA- thank you for sharing your experience. I appreciate it!
OP- I am having members of my family that haven't had a booster within 5 years get revacinated to be safe. I had pertussis in undergrad and I cannot imagine my child having that. It is deadly to infants. I won't take the risk of passing a preventable disease that can kill them to my child because they are afraid of a shot!
Jamie
Obviously I understand you're all not doctors, I will ask my doctor too, but we were on the topic anyway and I hadn't even thought about this.
https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/hcp/vis/vis-statements/tdap.html
Jamie
My in laws work with children, so hopefully asking them won't be an issue... But you never know with in laws. Either way, I have no problem being "the bitch" and denying them contact until baby can get the shots him/herself.
If you go against the grain, I think you should be prepared to be excluded.
For example, I plan to cloth diaper and I absolutely know I will face so much bs from my husbands family. Good lord, when I breastfed my son they'd act like I was asking for singles. (Asked to go into another room, go into a public bathroom ect..)
But I cannot afford to spend $80+ a month on disposable diapers nor can I afford formula. (And from a personal perspective, breast is best and the most incredible gift I can give my baby. Steps off soapbox.)
Anyway back to the topic at hand, I would much rather offend or hurt the feelings of an adult then risk the life of my infant child. Because let's face it, we love our babies more than anyone else.
It also plays into my worries about Christmas celebrations which usually involves 30 extended family members with baby potentially only being a week or two old. I just don't feel comfortable bringing baby into that large of a group!
It's particularly difficult because this is our first child but their fourth grandchild and my brother and sister-in-law haven't been as vililant about this kind of stuff. It makes me seem ultra paranoid and requires me to justify everything.
Any tips for how to cope??? Am I being too conservative here?
Cope with what? It is your child and you are not obligated to put him in any situation you are uncomfortable with. There is nothing you need to justify, explain that you don't want to take risks with your child getting a deadly virus and dying. That is it. Nothing else to discuss. If anyone tries to make you feel guilty for this decision, kindly remind them that you are the mother and will gladly keep your child at a safe distance from them until he is older.
If you don't feel comfortable taking a newborn into that size of a group, then don't. If you live close, invite a couple close people over and have a separate celebration. Extended family can wait to meet baby IMO. Our baby is due the 12th and won't be attending any large family gatherings if he is born that late.
Any suggestions for how to navigate the issue of the very different approaches my brother-in-lawand sister-in-law have taken with their 5yr, 2yr and 6 month olds to what we are asking??
I'm concerned my strong stance will come across as criticism of them since they never asked the inlaws to get any vaccines/boosters. They are a lot less vigilant (and possibly less aware of the risks because they went with a midwife only and no OB/GYN). My inlaws can't seem to understand why I am asking for it if they didn't!!
Obviously I feel strongly about this but I want to avoid offending anyone.
I can't have the tdap so my OB and baby's doctor both strongly pushed family being vaccinated for the "bubble of immunity". They still only needed the one shot, so if they got it when DS was born they won't need to now. Most had no issues with it since it was multiple doctors recommending it and it wouldn't need to be repeated, it was to protect the baby. The struggle was with my MIL. She didn't understand why it was even an issue until I sent her information the CDC had for the number of cases of pertussis over the past few years.
https://www.helppreventdisease.com/adult_vaccines/whooping-cough/for-grandparents.html?google=b_&rotation=71700000010451532&banner=58700000478782075&kw=6928710638&cc=CED5F738077E&pid
https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd-vac/combo-vaccines/DTaP-Td-DT/Tdap.htm
Jamie
recommended an update to both vaccines, because there have been major outbreaks in the last couple of years and surprisingly bith SO's and my Grandmother were the biggest supporters (because whooping cough was prevalent when they were having babies).
The only person I know who told me it was rude to ask people was my anti vaxxer friend due in Oct when we were talking about our pregnancies. I think it's more rude to get a newborn baby or his mother sick