GTKY: Tell Me a Secret

breezymeema7 · July 2015

It's a quiet Friday afternoon. Tell me something that no one or hardly anybody else knows about you?

breezymeema7 · July 2015

I'll start...

I dropped out of highschool in the middle of grade 10. Not my proudest moment that's for sure but I eventually went back as an adult and graduated when I was 22.

toccoaparker · July 2015

After my mom died I became an addict at the age of 16. If I hadn't met DH when I did (3 years later) I probably wouldn't have survived..

kelseyrayay · July 2015

I was also addicted to prescription medication. Then I got pregnant and immediately stopped. Who knows where I'd be today if I didn't get pregnant with my little man. I also have one kidney and no appendix!

dpmm93 · July 2015

My dad was an alcoholic & drug addict. He ended up nearly dead, spent 2 months in ICU, I took pictures of him while in the ICU to show him what he did to himself when he woke up. When he woke up he had permanent brain damage & lost his sight. (They had lost him for 8 minutes) ... I really wish he could see his first grandchild when she arrives but I am grateful he'll get to hold her.

acgonzalez22 · July 2015

After I lost my twins last year I had a mental breakdown. I tried to hurt myself and my husband had me Baker Act for 48 hours of monitoring and therapy. We never told anyone.

And somehow telling Internet strangers just made me feel better about it. It was the best thing to happen and I couldn't love DH more. Now I am in a great place and life is beautiful.

chavemann10 · July 2015

While I was married to my ex, he beat the crap out of me almost daily. The only thing that gave me the strength to leave him was finding out he had multiple affairs throughout our marriage. My current hubby was my best friend and pulled me out of a dark place. We ended up technically having an affair (I was married) although I was already seperated from my ex at the time. It was both freeing and shameful at the same time. I can honestly say though, it was what I needed to make it thru. He was my strength I didn't know I had. I probably wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for him.

neludelu · July 2015

I have a very dysfunctional family. My mom is an addict who did terrible things and let bad things happen to my family. I am having a baby to separate my self and to prove I am different.

jesselayne8 · July 2015

Wow. It's hard to love tit these posts because they are all about such dark times in your lives. Glad everyone is doing better!

J&D2007 · July 2015

Geesh.. You ladies are strong and amazing. My secret is that I ate almost 1-1/2 pounds of cheez-it's in the past few days;-)

bpwife&mama · July 2015

After I had DS I suffered from terrible post partum depression. I would envision horrible things happening to him. I was never the one hurting him, but like I would walk down the stairs and think about dropping him and he would break his neck

Or we would be driving and I would see us getting t-boned and he would be very messed up in the backseat. It was absolutely a horrible time for me. I did get help for it and was thankful I did.

visualcircus · July 2015

My secret is I freeze up and get close to mental shutdown when asking for help when DH was on travel for military stuff (ex. moving stuff since we don't have a truck, finding someone to babysit movers during the weekday when I was sent to the ER, getting a ride when my car broke down in the middle of the road.)

It's so weird because I'd help out immediately if someone asks me, but I'm in tears and desperate before I can muster up the courage to ask someone to help me out.

toccoaparker · July 2015

bpwife&mama said:
After I had DS I suffered from terrible post partum depression. I would envision horrible things happening to him. I was never the one hurting him, but like I would walk down the stairs and think about dropping him and he would break his neck Or we would be driving and I would see us getting t-boned and he would be very messed up in the backseat. It was absolutely a horrible time for me. I did get help for it and was thankful I did.

This is awful and I know the feeling, for some reason it is only with my oldest but flashes of the worst scenarios will go through my mind and I start having panic attacks

hjphillips · July 2015

My parents are very homophobic and I went through a very tough time as a teenager. I got caught up with a girl that was very emotionally abusive and manipulative, and if not for my best friend at the time I dont know where I would even be right now. I almost up and moved to California, but then I met DH and I decided to stay for a while, and well... Then I got pregnant. Sometimes I just wanna run and get out, but at the same time, I don't want to just quit on DH.

usernameneededallaretaken · July 2015

I don't enjoy having sex, and turn DH down many nights, but will masturbate after he has fallen asleep. (I was sexually assaulted, repeatedly, by a family member and don't really want other people touching me)

Miz_Liz · July 2015

jesselayne8 said:

Wow. It's hard to love tit these posts because they are all about such dark times in your lives. Glad everyone is doing better!

This - to clarify my "love its" aren't that I love what you have all had to endure, but I love that you are able to share and that you are all at better places in your life right now. So for this post, my "love its" are virtual creepy internet hugs

carleym93 · July 2015

When I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified of having a daughter because I was scared of messing her up and having a dysfunctional relationship with her. When I found out it was a girl, it felt like God was giving me the tools and wisdom to be a good mom and role model for her. Now that she is here, I pray every day that we will have a healthy and beautiful relationship.

atthemoment · July 2015

Ive struggled with my weight and binge eating since childhood. Ive lost and gained the same 50-70 pounds three times in the past 10 years.

Ex: i just went to McDonald's AND taco bell...not okay!! X_X

CarelessDiva89 · July 2015

I dropped out of high school because I had been raising my sibilings since age 12 because my mom had ms & a prescription addiction. By 10th grade she was in bed 24/7 so I stopped going to take care of her as well. She passed away 5 years ago from an overdose. Then my sibilings moved in with me. My 14 year old brother is the last one living with me. It can be super stressful at times & I never talk about my mom because I HATE crying.

breezymeema7 · July 2015

Please take my "love-its" as "hugs." I am in awe at all of your honesty and the fact that you are strong enough to share these heartbreaking experiences with us.

breezymeema7 · July 2015

@toccoaparker & @kelseyrayay I have struggled with addictions in my past too. After dropping out of school I fell into the wrong crowd and as the story goes "things went downhill fast." I was finally sober for 2 months before I met my H.

kelseyrayay · July 2015

@breezymeema7 I think mine mainly started because I had to have one of my kidneys removed and I was on morphine for the longest time. I felt like I couldn't function without it. I would bump my arm and need to take a pain pill for it. I would use any and every excuse to take it. My DH was in denial that I was addicted to pills. We were going through marriage classes before we got married and he finally realized I had a problem. Getting pregnant was the best thing that could have happened to me. I took all the pain meds that I had and flushed them down the toilet. I will never get that way again. It was so depressing.

CaliforniaDream87 · July 2015

((Hugs to you all))

SashaDenn25 · July 2015

Before getting pregnant I would cry about my body regularly. Before I actually got a bump formed I cried almost everyday while I was pregnant over the changes happening. My mom became very obese over the course of my adolesence and im scared for this to happen to me. DH knows its one of my number one fears. He monitors my eating habits with me to help make sure I dont binge and then sit in a corner and cry over it for hours. Then, I feel guilty for being so vain. It doesnt matter how clean we eat, how much we work out, I look in the mirror and see fat. DH is the only person ive ever truly believed meant it when he calls me sexy, beautiful, etc, but sometimes I still have a hard time just accepting his compliments and you can see the hurt in his eyes that maybe I dont believe him. Between DSD and now this little girl im scared to pass down my low self esteem and not be the confident role model I should be.

mjones0721 · July 2015

Basically my whole family has struggled with addiction since I was a kid (parents & siblings esp.) My parents lost our house because of it when I was 12 and I had to move in with my older sister. Her and her boyfriend and their friends all thought it was "funny" to see how high they could get the 12 year old and soon I was addicted to prescription drugs and borderline alcoholic too. If I hadn't met DH and he hadn't gotten me out of their house at 17 I don't know if I'd even be alive today. My siblings addictions are why I'm raising my nephews. Thankfully my sister has gotten clean in the last year but at this point her boys haven't been with her for so long that they don't even want to be anymore, they'd already given up on her. Praying she stays clean and hopefully my brother will eventually as well.

SassetteSmurfling · July 2015

4 years ago I almost cheated on DH with my ex from high school. The only reason it didn't happen is because ex knew I would regret it and didn't want to be responsable for ruining my marriage.
DH and I were in a really bad place, I had just had a m/c and as a result started drinking again after 3 years sober. I was out drinking and texting ex all night, begging him to come out. At first he was flirting back and I was loving every second of it. Then when he realized everything that was going on he made the choice to be the better person. It hurt. Bad. But I am SO grateful that he turned me down and was actually the only person to talk any sense into me. I was on a downward spiral and he definitely saved my marriage.

archetypeblonde · July 2015

I had an abortion on my birthday two years ago. I wasn't ready for this one either, but I made a promise to myself that I would never do that again. My life is now consumed by love and excitement for my son, it tortures me to reflect on the life that I could have nurtured two years ago as well.

Ambermom043 · July 2015

My mom got into drugs when we were little, and kicked my (very hard working) dad out, because he wouldn't have it. She ended up leaving us alone for days at a time (5 kids). My dad found out, and called the police, who took us away and put us in separate foster homes. The two oldest boys were not my dad's children so he couldn't get custody although he had raised them from babies...
It took him almost a year to meet all of the criteria to get his 3 girls back, and he raised us by himself. I never saw my mother again (that was 15 yrs ago). I just really love and look up to my dad for loving us that much and never giving up. All of my other family are drug addicts, so he had zero help. He kept us away from them for the most part and all of his daughters turned out pretty decent. (I like to think so anyway!)

pabeybaby · July 2015

My arms are covered in self harm scars from a mixture of a really bad break up (from a narcissist), anxiety, and depression from a few years ago. The anxiety is a permanent thing though (runs in the family), and I still get the urge to sometimes, because it gives you an endorphin rush. But I don't because I know it will hurt my husband, and it's honestly such a pain in the ass to hide it. I also want to be strong for my daughter.
I also used to be anorexic but then my hypoglycemia kicked in and I couldn't do it anymore. (When your blood sugar drops and it makes you sick)

gulimz · July 2015

I come from a very good family, but I'm a eff up. I was in a abusive relationship before my husband. The guy and I went out in high school and he was a Coke head. I got pregnant and had a abortion and shortly after that he became a abusive Crack head. I only stayed with him because he said he was going to tell my mom he was my boyfriend and I had had a abortion. Finally when he got really bad, he started robbery shit and went to jail and I got a restraining order. Then I met my husband and have been happy ever since. But it still kills me that I was able to get pregnant by this piece of garbage with no problem, but my husband and I went thru infertility problems.

carleym93 · July 2015

@archetypeblonde I had an abortion when I was 16 years old. I grieved for that pregnancy for years. I understand the feeling of both excitement and sadness when you have another baby on the way. It has been especially magnified for me now that she is actually here. Although nothing can change the past, you can and will be a fantastic mom to your son.

archetypeblonde · July 2015

@carleyec93 thank you for sharing that, I'm sorry you had a similar experience. Likewise I'm sure you are an amazing mom as well. *hugs*

KristinaD217 · July 2015

I started smoking at 14....even though I've "quit" for years. I still sneak the occasional one here and there. (But I haven't since I got pregnant!!!!)

Gooblin · July 2015

I've always liked blood and getting hurt or seeing other people hurt never bothered me. My sister that is 3yrs older than me was always needing stitches and I would always watch and wish it was me, I was always so jealous. I started cutting when I was 12 just for fun and even pierced different body parts just for fun.

It got out of control and I would take any dare just to see if I could hurt myself. The weird thing was I never did, nothing big at least. Quite strange considering the things I did. I finally realized one day I needed to change and grow up when my oldest was 3yr and I was drunk and cut myself because I was mad... I vowed to never do it again, and I havent! So I became EMT/firefighter and now I get paid to have people practice placing IVs on me and drawing my blood

and I get to help lots of people in all sorts of situations. Much more fulfilling and useful than self mutilation.

Boslove · July 2015

I also had an abortion when DD was 6m, Because Ex-SO wasnt ready and felt it was best. I never was fully on board and now realize I subconsciously 'planned' this pregnancy. Well that was the last straw before separating. DS has a bunch of possible medical issues (clubfeet/Development delay) which makes me feel like my payback for the abortion.

None of the women have successful relationships in my family and I now fear I will follow suit.

irohspupil · July 2015

I just want to hug you all<3.

When I was in 9th grade, I had a stalker who was a year younger than me. We were both in band, and he would follow me to my truck every Friday night after we were done playing for the games (in town and out). The closest he got to physically hurting me was spraining my wrist when he wrestled my books and things from me so that he could carry them to my car.
However, he would call me at night and IM me, telling me he was going to kill himself if I didn't give him a chance. He would somehow appear at the mall every time I was there to show me the new cut he gave himself--or the cut "I made him do." One night he sent me a picture of my name carved into his upper thigh (my name is Michaela and the whole thing was there). The next day he came to school with his jeans stained in blood up where my name was. My friends and several others in band said I was a cold bitch for doing that to him.
Thankfully, he was sent to live out of state with his dad. He emailed me a horrible letter about how he hoped I'd be dead the next time he came around me. I was afraid to disclose any of this to my parents--my friends' reactions made me think it was all my fault so why get blamed by my parents too?

I wrote a piece about this experience in college, and I still feel like those who read it thought I drove this guy into doing these things. I block him on every social media site I join, just in case he tries to reach out to me.

emmacake08 · July 2015

I just can't even comprehend how strong all of you are. I'm amazed at some of the things you all have survived and persevered through.

I had sex before I was married which was a big no-no and I still don't think DHs family know (not that we've ever had a reason to share). We started trying to get pregnant immediately after getting married and couldn't. I was convinced God and universe was punishing me and because of my prudish upbringing, I never said that to anyone to process that it wasn't. It took 5 years and a lot of reading and talking to DH to realize I wasn't being punished.

Also, I used to be privately super vain and then I became hypothyroid and unaware of it for 3 straight years and packed on weight that was literally impossible to lose. Sometimes I wish people like I used to be could experience what it's like to not have control over your weight and not have the ability to live by only the way you look.

ashbash1012 · July 2015

You ladies are all so strong. I am in tears over some of your stories. Thank you all for sharing.

EmEeGee · July 2015

What amazing women you all are! These babies are lucky to have such strong moms to look up to.

I found out that my mom, brother and pap (whom I was very close with) died via phone call. I panic every time I see the phone ring at an odd hour or if the caller doesn't state their reason for calling in the first 15 seconds ("just calling to say hi" or "just had a question"). I avoid having my phone on me as much as possible because of the anxiety I associate with it. People just think I'm really rude and never answer.

More fun... I also had pink hair, a lip ring and a very large tattoo from my early 20's. The tattoo is still around obviously and I don't regret it yet because I really enjoyed those years. It's not visible unless I want it to be and people never believe me when I say I used to look like that.

SassetteSmurfling · July 2015

Ya know what.... For a bunch of mean bitches, this thread is just amazing.

Seriously. This could have turned into a lot of judgement and shit talking but it didn't. Some of the things shared here would have been torn to shreds by a lot of other boards. But here, nothing but love and support for each other.

I love you mean bitches! A15

cseley321 · July 2015

When I was a teenager some older man on the Internet who spoke to me often over IMs talked me into sending him a racy video of myself and for some reason I felt obligated to or like I owed him somehow so I complied. It didn't dawn on me until a few years ago that he was basically a predator.

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