Second+ time moms - What are you going to do differently

CassidyACD · July 2015

I don't know about you ladies, but for years I have been thinking about what I would do differently for #2! Lets share our collective wisdom!

This time any baby gear that I know is only good for a few months (bouncer, swing, jumperoo etc.) are coming from craigslist or something similar.

Also, going to try cloth diapers this time, last time the idea of poo was too icky, but after going through all the explosions and potty training, I don't really care anymore, and they are awfully cute!

Finally, just putting less pressure on myself, there is no such thing as a perfect parent!

What are you doing differently?

roo1oo · July 2015

I'm gonna put way less pressure on myself and more on DH. He's already said he wants to be more involved in the newborn phase this time, so he's getting more night duty for sure.

Definitely not going to worry about BFing so much. It didn't work last time and I pumped for a few months, so if that happens again NBD. If it works this time then great! If I have to give formula, also NBD.

I'm also going to enjoy maternity leave waaaay more. Like lay on the couch watching Netflix all day. Rather than thinking I need to be entertaining a newborn constantly.

Romano123 · July 2015

So far I am going to commit to relaxing more and just letting things happen. I was pretty stressed last time about everything; so I am hoping I can sit back and just enjoy the moment.

I couldn't drive for 12 weeks after delivery, so that was a big load on my shoulders. I should have asked for help. Slept when the baby slept. Not put so much pressure on myself to pump when breastfeeding didn't work.

parenthood4 · July 2015

With my second, I also tried to relax more the first two months. It's harder with a toddler, but I really enjoyed spending a lot of time on the couch or in bed just letting her sleep on me and feeding her. I really appreciated it more the second time. I also did more baby wearing. P

We also switched her earlier to her room and crib, around 5 months. And we probably let her cry it out more. It was awful but she did sleep better.

I also learned that all babies are different and what worked for 1 might not work for 2!

With this one, I don't have to worry about making sure I have a big freezer stash of milk to go back to work since I stay home now, so I'm really glad about that!

BabyBonbons16 · July 2015

Go with the flow more and during pregnancy drink a cup of coffee a day.

wmarley · July 2015

Definitely don't buy as many things brand new. After seeing how quickly they grow out of things I'll reuse and recycle as much as I can.

Also, like everyone else said don't put as much pressure on myself, especially with breastfeeding.

Try to enjoy the early days more because this one will most likely be our last.

meg_2006 · July 2015

I plan to wear the baby a lot. DS does not entertain himself and always wants someone to play with him, so that's the best way to appease both.

I'm going to try BFing again. DS had a tongue tie that led to a lot of complications. Hoping the next won't have a tongue tie. You can BET I will be checking under that tongue the moment the baby comes out!

I'll probably get getting or borrowing a video monitor. I never thought I would, but this time we're in a two-story house and running up and down those stairs just to see if she's really asleep or not is going to get old real fast!

I'm preparing myself for a super-clingy high maintenance baby that doesn't sleep through the night because siblings tend to be opposite from what I see/hear. DS spoiled us

blueeyedrose86 · July 2015

I might buy a swing this time. I didn't mind that my dd would only sleep being held, but it'll be harder to do that with a toddler running around. Maybe this one will like it. DD hated swings.

skruhmin · July 2015

I always say this and it ends up not happening but hopefully wear this baby more since I'll be chasing 2 kids now. Give into not feeling guilty about having the tv on so much for the kids while I feel poopy (I had so much guilt over that last time). My help will come in the form of MIL taking both boys so I can have peace and quiet with the baby (last two times she came over and did laundry and cooked for the first few weeks). We definitely won't be eating out as much or going places as much with 3, so I'm picturing way more low key instead of shoving them all in the car all the time.

As far as pregnancy, I'm not feeling guilty about what I eat at all. I'm drinking my 1-2 cups of coffee a day (basically out of necessity). I have more of a "let's do this" attitude rather than "take care of me because I'm pregnant". I'm praying I don't have the complications I did the first two times.

KJKNAJ · July 2015

The only big thing? Not go right back to work at 6wks! I am soooo thrilled about that one.

skruhmin · July 2015

KJKNAJ said:

The only big thing? Not go right back to work at 6wks! I am soooo thrilled about that one.

I wish I had an option. Although last time I took an extra week of vacation and it was wonderful. But I hate that US maternity leave is non-existent. I'm praying my company follows suit in other companies and ups it past 6 weeks.

meg_2006 · July 2015

@skruhmin My entire morning right now is me watching daytime talk shows and studying while DS watches the iPad. I get up to make him breakfast, water the plants, let the dog out, you know...the necessities. Afternoon is naptime. In the evening I might feel well enough to go on a walk or take DS out for ice cream. I haven't cleaned the bathroom or vacuumed in 2 weeks. I'm basically a horrible horrible mom right now.

KJKNAJ · July 2015

skruhmin said:

KJKNAJ said:

The only big thing? Not go right back to work at 6wks! I am soooo thrilled about that one.

I wish I had an option. Although last time I took an extra week of vacation and it was wonderful. But I hate that US maternity leave is non-existent. I'm praying my company follows suit in other companies and ups it past 6 weeks.

Yeah, I quit my job when I lost my DD in Feb. So, I'm an unplanned SAHM for the summer. I plan on finding something temp for the next 6mths while my kids are in school, then taking 6mths off again when this one is born. If we get that far xxxx

meg_2006 · July 2015

KJKNAJ said:

The only big thing? Not go right back to work at 6wks! I am soooo thrilled about that one.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that! I bought into short-term disability this time (DS was a surprise, otherwise I probably would have). Between that and summer vacation I get 6 months off! Woohoo!

@KJKNAJ You should look into substitute teaching. You can pick your days and get the same breaks your kids do.

Jessimuca · July 2015

First and foremost I'll know what to expect in terms of hormones. I had a really hard time last time but I'm prepared now.

I hope to get this baby in the crib earlier (last time was at 3 weeks old and was the best decision for everyone involved).

I'm also not going to beat myself up if breast feeding doesn't work out. It was horrible last time but I want to give it a fair shot this time around because every baby is different.

popcornplease · July 2015

I'm going to try and be more active this time around. I had a desk job last pregnancy and I was pretty sick the entire time. Now I'm chasing a toddler, so hopefully that will help me stay more active!

phillygirl526 · July 2015

RELAX. I was a freaking mess after I gave birth to the twins, and the PPD didn't help at all. This time, I'm going to listen to my doctor and if PPD does pop up again, I'm going to do something about it.

I'm also planning on putting the baby in his or her crib from the beginning, and cloth diapering from the beginning instead of 6 months.

I anticipate I will be way more laid back, because with twin 3 year olds, I'm not going to have a choice. There will be noise and baby's schedule will inevitably be interrupted. No sense in obsessing about it.

trenjaedon · July 2015

Expecting #4 (3 boys) and we are going Team Green for the first time. I started cloth diapering with my now 3 year old before at about 11 months old. This time I'll be doing it from birth

I'm going to continue doing Boot Camp workouts after my first US to keep gaining muscle. I never worked out much with my other pregnancies.

yodapup · July 2015

Pregnancy wise, I'm working out (resistance training) 2 times a week plus long walks 2+ times a week this time around. Last time I practically did nothing and I gained a lot of weight and I never lost those last 10 lbs. Also, I have a new OB this time and hopefully I won't get induced for a stupid reason like last time!

Newborn wise, this is a hard one since DD was such a good newborn. I guess I'll be trying to psych myself up for this one since he/she will probably be the complete opposite. Otherwise, I wouldn't change a thing!

lindsmg79 · July 2015

Same as some of the other ladies, I will not stress out over bf-ing. I wanted it to work so bad with my DD that I kept trying long after I should've thrown in the towel (I had a poor supply and DD was dx with failure to gain weight). I was so obsessed with making it work I didn't enjoy the first few months with my DD, and that's a freakin shame. I will definitely try to bf number two and if there are the same issues, I will embrace formula.

Other than that, I want to keep things the same for this pregnancy as my first - a few workouts a week, mostly healthy eating, eating what I crave (I didn't pay attention to most of the "do not eat" foods - I ate plenty of sushi and enjoyed a glass of wine here and there), and listening to my body. I think my DD is pretty damn perfect and I'd like the same outcome with number two!

CassidyACD · July 2015

@trenjaedon and @phillygirl526 I'm going to try cloth this time around! What is your plan for the newborn stage before they fit in one size?

phillygirl526 · July 2015

@cassidyacd I'm going to give All In Ones a try this time and after reading some reviews, am very slowly starting to stock up on BumGenius newborn. That said, if this is another twin pregnancy for me, we may have to use disposables at the very beginning, depending on how small the babies are. My girls only fit in preemie disposables for the first few weeks, and I'm not sure if anyone makes preemie cloth diapers. Something to look into, I suppose!

lindsmg79 · July 2015

@CassidyACD, I'm jumping in to your discussion - hope you don't mind! I cloth diaper my DD (she's 13 months) and started after all the meconium was out of her system. For the newborn phase, I did newborn Workhorses with covers. These are great for the newborn phase, and I got a great deal on used ones from eBay. When she got bigger, we transitioned to the one size AIOs. I also snagged a few newborn AIOs from eBay, and we used these when we left the house (they are a bit easier to carry around and change). Cloth rocks!!!

jmathi0149 · July 2015

I plan on cuddling more this time. I was so worried DS1 was going to be spoiled so anytime I wasn't nursing I didn't want anyone holding him. Now he is almost 1 and hates to be held or cuddle. He is so independent which is great but I feel like I have missed out on a lot of those sweet moments.

Stormiewinter · July 2015

For pregnancy, overall I am hoping to be healthier. Last time my ob didn't want me to run and just didn't get enough exercise. I also let myself cheat a little too much And gained too much in the first 2 trimesters. This time I am going to stick to healthier foods and keep jogging/long walks. I am hoping to avoid the preeclampsia I had with ds, but dr. Says I have a higher chance this time around.

I definitely am going to try and enjoy all stages a little more this time. Take it day by day.

@meg_2006 I will never not have a video monitor again. It was a huge comfort to look on on ds anytime we wanted to check.

OneRainDrop · July 2015

meg_2006 said:
I'm preparing myself for a super-clingy high maintenance baby that doesn't sleep through the night because siblings tend to be opposite from what I see/hear. DS spoiled us

THIS. DD was such a happy, content baby. She slept amazingly and hardly ever cried. I am so scared this little one is going to be the exact opposite!

Also, I plan on replacing our infant car seat and stroller. We hated both with DD and so I want to upgrade.

katekat8721 · July 2015

re: cloth diapers... we started once the girls were out of preemie size (they do have preemie CDs, but they're a fortune). We used prefolds and covers for the newbie stage and loved them. We use pockets now.

I am so excited for this pregnancy and to have a newborn again. Twins are awesome but it was difficult in a lot of ways as well. This time I have more faith in myself as a mother. I will be kinder to myself, and be more vocal in what I need from others instead of letting them walk over me. Last time I wasn't allowed to be active and I was on pelvic rest 90% of the pregnancy. This time I'm chasing toddlers and definitely not the pregnant princess I was before.

@skruhmin I definitely have more of the "let's do this" attitude this time around too!

marly604 · July 2015

My 23 month old is still THE WORST SLEEPER EVER!

I will work harder in the beginning to ensure both baby and I sleep the best we can. Also, with DS, I BF until last month. I will still BF, but I don't want baby to be so dependent/attached to me in that regard. Not sure what the plan will be, but hoping it will be different.

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