Don't know who BD is

cardie · July 2015

Hi ladies,
I'm new on here. I'm 8 weeks and 4 days. I'm trying to find any ladies who are going through something similar or can give me some helpful advice. Being pregnant and single is difficult in its self. But to be pregnant in this situation is very difficult. So, I had a boyfriend of 2 years and we were very on and offy. In June we broke up and I ended up having a one night stand. 4 days later I told the boyfriend and we had make up sex. 4 weeks later I show up pregnant. And now I'm not sure who is the father. The boyfriend left me immediately and wanted me to get an abortion. The one night wants to step up IF it's his.... I know, it's a crazy situation. Please put your in put in. Thank you ladies!

amberrmariee20 · July 2015

When was your LMP ?
You could always try to pin point it to figure out if you ovulated around when you slept with either one, but given its 4 days in the difference it may not be easily done. You'll still want to get a paternity test done. You can do one while pregnant or wait until after the baby is born.

Jameca706 · July 2015

Praying for u regardless of who the father is ur the mom some situations suck but being honest goes a long way maybe since you one night willing 2 step up maybe you can at least work on a friendship of some sort you gone need the emotional support jus pray and it all will work out! #Babies.R.Blessings

cardie · July 2015

I really appreciate that ladies. You made me cry. Lol its a very difficult situation. Yes, I tried figuring out the conception date. But it doesn't help. The doc said to give or take 3 days from the conception date they gave so it could still be either guy. I was told to ask

cardie · July 2015

ask about a paternity test when I go in for my next visit. Have either of you had one? Do you have any idea what that in details? I should probably Google it.

crzyforbabies · July 2015

cardie said:
Hi ladies,
I'm new on here. I'm 8 weeks and 4 days. I'm trying to find any ladies who are going through something similar or can give me some helpful advice. Being pregnant and single is difficult in its self. But to be pregnant in this situation is very difficult. So, I had a boyfriend of 2 years and we were very on and offy. In June we broke up and I ended up having a one night stand. 4 days later I told the boyfriend and we had make up sex. 4 weeks later I show up pregnant. And now I'm not sure who is the father. The boyfriend left me immediately and wanted me to get an abortion. The one night wants to step up IF it's his.... I know, it's a crazy situation. Please put your in put in. Thank you ladies!

I would wait until the baby comes, and do the paternity test then. I'm not sure how invasive it is to get it done before the baby is born.

Also, I would definitely make sure the boyfriend pays child support if he is the father. Don't let him make you feel bad about it. The one night stand sounds like a good guy. I would keep in touch with him.

amberrmariee20 · July 2015

cardie said:
ask about a paternity test when I go in for my next visit. Have either of you had one? Do you have any idea what that in details? I should probably Google it.

I have never had one, but one of my friends was in your exact situation. He and her boyfriend broke up, she was upset, she hooked up with another guy, condom broke and she ended up pregnant, it was all in the same time frame too. She chose not to have to paternity test done while pregnant, but chose to after she had the baby. I agree with PPs, stay in touch with your one night stand, he seems like a very good guy. Most men would just walk away in a situation.

Snoflakes4eva · July 2015

I would ask your OB about what a paternity test involves while the baby is still in utero.

roo1oo · July 2015

There is a prenatal test available that just uses your blood. Same type of test that is used to test for chromosomal birth defects. I was just told today that this birth defect blood test is very expensive and often not covered by insurance unless necessary. I suspect a paternity test will be an out of pocket expense for you, so you may need to wait until the baby is born. Its a very easy inexpensive test then. Good luck to you!

Jizzill · July 2015

As PPs said, a paternity test will be the only definitive way with timing so close.

cardie · July 2015

Ambermariee20 it's very refreshing to hear I'm not the only person in this situation. I plan on going after the boyfriend for child support if it turns out to be his. And yes, the one night stand seems like a good guy, but then again I don't know too much about him. I go to the doc on the 28th so I will be asking about the non invasive paternity test. Good to know it might be expensive. Thank you again ladies for your input!!

amberrmariee20 · July 2015

cardie said:
Ambermariee20 it's very refreshing to hear I'm not the only person in this situation. I plan on going after the boyfriend for child support if it turns out to be his. And yes, the one night stand seems like a good guy, but then again I don't know too much about him. I go to the doc on the 28th so I will be asking about the non invasive paternity test. Good to know it might be expensive. Thank you again ladies for your input!!

Your definitely not the only one that's been in that situation, at least you were woman enough to admit it to your boyfriend, I've heard of women becoming "scared" and not telling him and him raising the baby as his own and not knowing the difference.

hummingbird35 · July 2015

Hi, hope you're doing okay and not stressing out too much! I just wanted to add that the fetal dna test was, according to my doc, about $100-200 without insurance. Not sure if the paternity test would be similar. Don't you dare let the boyfriend make you feel bad or guilt you in any way!!! Thinking about you, please give us updates on how you're doing.

amw2133 · July 2015

I agree with above. Don't let your ex make you feel guilty! Also ask your doctor at your next visit and see if the tests are covered by your insurance. My friend had a similar situation. She is now married to "the one night stand" and has two beautiful children. Just to put a little positivity out there.

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

No matter who the father is, you need to get child support.

2-Step · July 2015

I also know someone who was in a similar situation. Except in her case the child was undoubtedly the "one night stand's" and they remained close friends, but she and her boyfriend ended up getting back together after the child was born. Now they have kids of their own and they co-parent the first kid with the other dad. They seem happy. It just took some time for him to get over it before he could be with her.

Just adding some positivity as well. Good luck. I think if i were you I would want to prenatal test even if it were more expensive, just because the father might want to be there for the birth or contribute to your expenses along the way to get ready. It seems like having that information beforehand would make the birth experience and first few months of your baby's life less stressful.

Do you have family you can rely on for help?

Jessicacreative · October 2016

Removed for TOU Violation

delujm0 · October 2016

This thread is well over a year old. Please do not resurrect old threads. I strongly suspect that OP has already dealt with her paternity test at this point.

MLS6212 · October 2016

Removed for Quoting TOU Violation

Probably not so much in this situation...

adirat · October 2016

I think this account is spam. Both posts this account made are links to the same URL where you can learn about and purchase noninvasive paternity tests.

SaphireSweetie88 · October 2016

@BumpAdmin

This is an old thread that was resurrected. Can you close it?

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