"I'll have a vodka soda"

mb0112 · July 2015

Summer is full of weddings, concerts, cookouts, etc where normally I'd be having drinks like anyone else. So far I have "fake drank" a couple times and collected a few tips, but nervous about some weekends coming up where it might get trickier!

If I'm at someone's house and we are making our own mixed drinks, I plan to make my own when no one is looking, just with soda. Maybe water it down a little if it doesn't look right.

I've heard of doing a switcheroo where you get the same drink as your husband (maybe 2 identical beer bottles) and sit them close to each other on the table. He alternates sips from both bottles, maybe you lift one up to your lips occasionally. Haven't tried that yet, afraid it might get noticed!

If you are out barhopping, it's easy to order a drink, carry it around with you, and dump some out when you are in the bathroom. Or, if you can talk to the bartender without your group hearing, you can tell him/her "when I ask for a vodka soda, please give me just a soda with lime!". Shots would get tricky, but I usually decline shots when someone orders a round anyways.

I'm going to a bachelorette dinner soon, and I'm worried about how to pull that off. I haven't told anyone in the group, and am not close enough with most of them to want them to know. They are all nice people who wouldn't be rude on purpose, but if they are tipsy I'm afraid someone might call me out. I'm considering talking to the waitress ahead of time, telling her I am going to order a regular beer, but I need her to get a non-alcoholic beer poured into a glass. When she brings out the drinks, say the regular beer's name as she hands it to me and just leave it off the bill (I would give her $20 as I talk to her to cover the non-alcoholic beers and tip her for her help!) However, I am nervous that the bartender might mix it up and I end up unknowingly drinking a real beer! It's not like me to get something other than beer/wine at a dinner like that, and wine is tough to fake.

Any other tips or stories on fake drinking during the first trimester?

phillygirl526 · July 2015

I think you're overthinking it! I don't think people are going to notice like you think they will. Easy solution- tell them you were recently sick, and can't drink with the antibiotics you are taking

kosmo86 · July 2015

I wouldn't worry so much about it. If someone asks tell then you have had a stomach ache and you are not feeling up to it or tell them you drank way to much the night before.

I have never been a drinker but I spent most of college "faking it". It was very rare that someone noticed. my favorite trick was dumping out a beer bottle and filling it up with water.

St0v3s · July 2015

I think it would just depend on the surroundings and people you are with. I'm just going to say I started a new medication and I can't drink on it.

mb0112 · July 2015

I think people would be suspicious if I blamed it on medication. Being the designated driver, having to work early the next day, or saying I'm detoxing would work better for me if I don't want to fake it. I don't get sick often and have probably been on antibiotics once ever, so it would draw more attention.

But I think you're right that I'm overthinking! Hoping everyone will be so caught up in other things that what I am or am not drinking goes unnoticed.

Amberino86 · July 2015

Can you claim to be the DD? My fear of fake drinking is that people will think I was a terrible mother and drank when I was pregnant. I don't want to give that impression. I'd rather find a plausible excuse not to drink now then feel like I have to explain myself later.

kosmo86 · July 2015

mb0112 said:

I think people would be suspicious if I blamed it on medication. Being the designated driver, having to work early the next day, or saying I'm detoxing would work better for me if I don't want to fake it. I don't get sick often and have probably been on antibiotics once ever, so it would draw more attention. But I think you're right that I'm overthinking! Hoping everyone will be so caught up in other things that what I am or am not drinking goes unnoticed.

If you tell them you are on antibiotics for an ear infection. that is plausible even for people who are rarely sick and antibiotics are so common no one would question.

zephyrlt · July 2015

Most of our friends knew we were trying for a baby, so I just kept telling everyone it was my TWW and that I didn't want to risk it. We see different friends at different times, so I've been on my TWW for the last 2 and a half months!

SparkE82 · July 2015

I have been using the excuse of a new work out and nutrition program, so I can't drink for the next 8 weeks. Nobody seems to question me, and I use to be a fairly big social drinker. After those 8 weeks I will be far enough along I can let people know the real reason why I wasn't drinking.

alexa1212 · July 2015

Leaving Friday for a Vegas bachelorette trip. I think I am just going to tell them: mostly because they are the group that if I say I am on Meds or not feeling well will still totally push me ha! So unless I want to be narrate tee

roo1oo · July 2015

I'd drink all the time when getting together with friends, but recently met some friends for a paint night and just ordered a iced tea. They didn't even bat an eye. Or if any of them noticed, they were kind enough not to ask. Most people are too self indulged to notice something as simple as you not ordering an alcoholic drink. But if you need an excuse, the "not feeling well" or "taking antibiotics" excuses are good ones.

jstanton0822 · July 2015

I usually say, "I've been pretty dehydrated lately, I need to have water."

Dehydration symptoms (in case this sparks a conversation)

Increased thirst

Dry mouth and swollen tongue

Weakness

Dizziness

Palpitations (feeling that the heart is jumping or pounding)

Confusion

Sluggishness fainting

Fainting

Inability to sweat

Decreased urine output

googimonster · July 2015

I personally cannot imagine fake drinking. I have said "I'm the sober driver", "I have a headache" or other things like that. Also you could say you are detoxing.

Also all my friends know we are "trying" so I have said that I'm not drinking anytime I'm not on my period in case I could be pregnant. They seem to like this excuse best.

Obviously if you are going to Vegas you need to tell....no one stays sober in sin city.

FlipFlop1025 · July 2015

Fake drinking is SO hard!!

DH and I did have success with the switcheroo earlier this week. We were at a street fair with lots of friends. We both had the same beer. I asked him to hold my beer while I dug thorough my purse for my lip gloss, when I was ready for my beer back he gave me the half empty beer can. Then he asked me to hold his beer while he tied his shoe, again he got the beer back that was more full. We did things like this all evening, no one suspected. DH did get pretty drunk though!

Last weekend we were camping with my family. During yard games, etc I had an empty beer can in my hand, thinking that was good enough faking, but at one point my mom said "I haven't seen you take a sip of your beer!" I played it off that it was almost empty and getting warm. My mom definitely has a hunch about our secret now!

It's way too hard to fake take sips, you need something actually in the beer can! I'm going to try filling beer bottles with water this weekend.

Everyone knows that I get headaches frequently. If all else fails I'll say I have a bad headache and just took headache medication. It might be hard to pull off if I actually feel fine though!

Good luck - let us know what worked for you!

Romano123 · July 2015

Funny story. Had a birthday party for my daughter recently and my dads wife took my drink out of my hand so she could have a sip. Without asking!!!! Luckily my husband made that one for himself and I was just bringing it over to him. People usually know what's up.

Do your best to conceal it but don't stress out. If someone asks if you're pregnant you can always lie and say no. Or say you're not drinking because you could be pregnant. Or take your beer to the bathroom and refill with a bottle of water.

theluckiestktrain · July 2015

I've been using the 'i could be pregnant' line. Or telling people on a Saturday that I'm hungover from Friday (if I wasn't with them) and taking a break.

Isn't it sad that we have to do this??! People are so nosy. I've had people ask me point blank 3 or 4 times. MYOB people good grief

bheatz22 · July 2015

I have just been using the excuse that I can't drink with my antibiotics. No one has questioned it.

jy725 · July 2015

If you don't know them enough to tell them about the pregnancy, then I don't think you owe them any explanation for not drinking. If you must, just drive yourself, so obviously you can't drink since you will be responsible for getting yourself home safe. I agree with @Amberino86 that it may be MORE uncomfortable to explain that you lied about drinking for their benefit.

Lchingrn · July 2015

Last week I had guests over for dinner and cocktails. I made 2 diferent bases, pomegranate juice with mint (pour some juice and add mint in a blender, blend, then pour back with the rest of the juice) and strawberry lemonade with Serrano chilie (do the same, only one pepper needed) and placed out rum, vodka, Taquilla, soda water, and garnishes. Everyone was so busy making their own no one noticed I skipped out on the liquor. We also have weekly family dinners during the summer (big family with aunts, cousins... Everyone) I have been going to the restroom to pour soda water in an empty bottle of my favorite beer. It was convincing enough my brother in law wouldn't let me drive home.
However I had a total backfire Sunday when my aunt and I went for mimosas. I asked for mine virgin when I got up to ask where the bathroom was. When I got the bill they charged me full price... I couldn't complain without raising eyebrows... At least it looked forreal

DrKariC · July 2015

You guys have great tricks but I agree it's all too exhausting for me. I actually got way more questions when I went off caffeine than alcohol but I'm happy sharing with people that were trying so I just leave it at that.

llybeck · July 2015

To be honest with you, I would just say you don't want to drink if someone really presses you. All the fake drinking sounds like a lot of unnecessary work, I wouldn't put myself through that.

The only people who asked during my last pregnancy were DH's family at their get-togethers. I told them I just didn't want to drink or let them speculate because that's just kind of what they do. No one else ever batted an eye. Like others said, I wouldn't worry too much.

westcoastfoodie · July 2015

I've had to do this because everyone I know drinks like a fish. A lot of times even if I say no they still mindlessly pour me a drink. I've used "I had a really bad migraine that I JUST got rid of..." or "Just trying to detox a little bit, feel like I've been going overboard lately." Tricks them every time

chavlin517 · July 2015

At a restaurant I would order vodka soda get up to go to the bathroom and then tell the waiter/waitress/bartender I only want soda water and lime. Clear drinks are the easiest. Beer is harder. Also, you can speak with the host or hostess. Or say I'm on antibiotics for some reason, or I got really drunk last night and don't feel like it. Also, I just did a diet where you do not have alcohol and I think (I hope) most people are thinking that is why I haven't been drinking.

smushi · July 2015

I've been called out for all of my excuses - using the antibiotic one last time (my sister called me out), and then this time, I turned down a glass of wine, saying I had had too much lately and was trying to tone it down. Got called out for both. The only time my excuse worked was when I actually told people we were 'trying', so I couldn't drink. We weren't ready to tell people about the pregnancy yet, but people were accepting of the fact that I didn't want to drink since we were 'trying to conceive' so they left it at that.

bntfroggie · July 2015

That sounds exhausting.

Trance1861 · July 2015

Just drink seltzer with a lime in it. I've been doing that for a month now and no one questions whether I am drinking alcohol.

maelic · July 2015

I just say "nah, I'll just have a water" and nobody seems to give a crap. If they suspect I'm pregnant so be it, but it's not exactly any of their business whether I want to drink or not. I wasn't drinking two months ago because I was on some Serious Antibiotics and, again, nobody gave a crap.

shference04 · July 2015

It's definately going to be very very obvious for me as a social drinker, with many friends that drink socially, to just stop doing it at gatherings. I'm going to be a first time mom, under 30, and one of the first few in my group to get pregnant, so I feel your pain! I don't think I will 'fake drink' but to be honest I'm loving a glass of organic sparkling pomegranate cider in lieu of wine after a long day at work! ;-)

djuedes · July 2015

I was just at a wedding this weekend and tried the 'fake drinking' clear 'mixed' drinks and it didn't work because normally I'm a beer drinker. All of a sudden I'm drinking mixed drinks?! Didn't work. People said stuff but I just denied.