I haven't got any offensive comments yet this pregnancy but my last one I always got (and still do) "were they natural? Did you use fertility treatments?"
Oh my goodness, I've already had so much of this. People assume you can't conceive multiples naturally, alone!
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So how do you respond?? My twins were conceived through ivf but I don't think strangers or random acquaintances necessarily need that information!
I respond with "that's a first...I've never had someone ask how my kids were conceived haha"
Nonchalantly letting them know that I'm not going to answer. It's none of their business.
My twins were not conceived with fertility treatments but I still find the question rude and none of their business. I don't go around asking "oh so you're having a boy!? What position did you have sex in?"
I have a short torso so similar problem. There's just no room! Did your rib cage end up expanding a lot? Mine got so big bras were a serious challenge and one of my ribs slipped out. Not fun! That rib still hasn't healed properly. I felt like this...
And people say, you're so tiny, you are going to be so cute pregnant. Ya right lol!!!
My ribs permanently flare out and my son is almost 19.
The rib slip was sooooo painful last time. I'm 5'0" with a very short torso also.
This is possible? WTF? I'm 5'2" with a pretty short torso and a very thin? (since I have no idea how to describe a rib cage) rib cage. I'm going to go hyperventilate under my desk now.
F16 Sep Siggy Challange - Fav Thing About Fall (even though "fall" won't be here until at least Dec)
I have a short torso so similar problem. There's just no room! Did your rib cage end up expanding a lot? Mine got so big bras were a serious challenge and one of my ribs slipped out. Not fun! That rib still hasn't healed properly. I felt like this...
And people say, you're so tiny, you are going to be so cute pregnant. Ya right lol!!!
My ribs permanently flare out and my son is almost 19.
The rib slip was sooooo painful last time. I'm 5'0" with a very short torso also.
This is possible? WTF? I'm 5'2" with a pretty short torso and a very thin? (since I have no idea how to describe a rib cage) rib cage. I'm going to go hyperventilate under my desk now.
It can definitely happen. I had 4 ribs out of place after I had my twins. I'm only 5'3". And the human body apparently isn't made to carry babies to "50weeks"
When I told my mom, I asked her to keep it to herself for now, as I likely wouldn't be telling people till I started showing. She said, "Oh, are you not showing already?" If by showing you mean the 24/7 tank of gas I have on reserve in my belly, then sure.
I haven't got any offensive comments yet this pregnancy but my last one I always got (and still do) "were they natural? Did you use fertility treatments?"
Oh my goodness, I've already had so much of this. People assume you can't conceive multiples naturally, alone!
---
So how do you respond?? My twins were conceived through ivf but I don't think strangers or random acquaintances necessarily need that information!
I like the classic Ann Landers reply, "Why do you ask?" Hopefully it gives them a moment to consider how rude they're being.
Oh, I forgot one more. This was the day after I got home from the hospital after giving birth to my first. My dad asked, "why do you still have a belly?" WTF????
The only negative comments I have gotten are Midwife related
Friend (also a nurse) - "you know A LOT of people die giving birth with midwives", "you're crazy to want to have your child outside of a hospital", "you must have turned into a granola mom when I wasn't paying attention"
Random People - "why would you ever want to do that?", "I think women that don't go to hospitals to have their babies are asking to have a still born" - this one floored me! Yes, please sign me up to join the club of emotionally traumatized, and broken parents that have to experience that.... seriously??
The only thing I've had so far, a friend straight up asked me if I was pregnant before I was ready to share and when I said I was she got pissed I haven't let anyone know yet. In my head I was like, "Bish, I'll tell you when I'm gd ready to tell you!" Oh and my HR rep cornering me after seeing me totally bloated the day before. That was uncomfortable.
I haven't had anything too bad this time but with DD my grandfather told me it wasn't too late to do something about it when I announced I was pregnant. I was livid! DH and I had been together for 7 years at that point, married for 2 and very stable...WTF??? Needless to say we didn't visit very much after that!
I've been lurking, but this thread definitely got my attention. I'm not sure why it's driving me so crazy, but when we told my MIL she looked completely blindsided and said, at least six times, "I'm sorry, it's just taking a few minutes to sink in. I already accepted that this was never going to happen and I was never going to have grandchildren." Um, WHAT? She keeps talking about it like it was obviously an accident. I don't know why she assumes DH and I don't want children, even now that we're having one. We've only been married three and a half years and I don't think we ever gave her any reason to think we had strong feelings against procreating.
The only negative comments I have gotten are Midwife related
Friend (also a nurse) - "you know A LOT of people die giving birth with midwives", "you're crazy to want to have your child outside of a hospital", "you must have turned into a granola mom when I wasn't paying attention"
Random People - "why would you ever want to do that?", "I think women that don't go to hospitals to have their babies are asking to have a still born" - this one floored me! Yes, please sign me up to join the club of emotionally traumatized, and broken parents that have to experience that.... seriously??
I forgot about this. I get the side-eye for saying I'm using a midwife and going to w/out meds. I guess I was like that too before I had this primal instinct to want to go w/ a midwife and w/out meds w/ this LO. I had epis and OB's w/ my other 2 which were great experiences.
I am the negative Nancy. I was looking at bottles at Target and a lady ask if I was pregnant. I said yep. Then she asked me what I hoped I was having... My reply was very sarcastic. "Well we were hoping for a velociraptor since no one has one of those, but since we had an ultrasound just a baby." I'm awful.
Our daughter is ten .. After struggling with fertility and failing at iui we have our miricle baby due 2/26 conceived naturally (praise Jesus) the most annoying comments I have gotten are in regards to starting over after ten years ! My boss (I had to tell her earlier then I wanted due to factors related to job) she literally laughed and asked if I was crazy .. Yeah totally bawled my eyes out on that one
My aunt always puts her foot in her mouth and she didn't disappoint when I told her I was pregnant. The first thing she asks is, "was your husband involved? " I laughed and told her nope it was the mail man. I'm not even sure what she really meant to ask here.
Feb 2016 Siggy Challenge, Favorite Thing About Fall
Yesterday my friend said "oh, you're getting a baby bump!" But I've only gained one pound and I look pretty much the same as I did before!! Thanks a lot lol
@mrsc12414 - There will be a 19 year age gap between mine. A good friend of mine keeps telling me I'm crazy. That was her first words when I told her actually, quickly followed by, "So when are you getting married?"
Not offensive necessarily, but FIL said, "she's not pregnant AGAIN, is she?!" When H was holding our daughter up with a "big sister" shirt on. A) you're on skype, I can hear you. And WTF do you mean "again"?? LO is almost 2!
Last pregnancy, I got a lot if comments from patients when they found out is be going back to work after LO was born. "You must feel bad that someone else has to raise your baby" "Why have kids if you won't be home to take care of them" "It's a shame women think they can have kids and a career. You need to pick one. If you choose career, you shouldn't be having kids"
When announcing to my family we got this comment...since my birthday is May 6th and we concieved in May (around the 20th). I got the "I know what you two were doing on your birthday". I was just thinking that's not really how it works, and is that what you're visualizing now? So my response was, "actually I was menstrating on my birthday". Got to love the facial reactions that followed that one.
When we told my MIL she squealed and hugged me and commented that our German Shepherd's tail was wagging. Then she put her hand on DH's shoulder and said, "I guess you've been wagging your tail some too!" It didn't really bother me, just took me by surprise. It really doesn't make sense but she is not the type to make any inappropriate comments so the fact that she compared our sex life to DH wagging his tail certainly caught me off guard and had me laughing.
I haven't got any offensive comments yet this pregnancy but my last one I always got (and still do) "were they natural? Did you use fertility treatments?"
Oh my goodness, I've already had so much of this. People assume you can't conceive multiples naturally, alone!
---
So how do you respond?? My twins were conceived through ivf but I don't think strangers or random acquaintances necessarily need that information!
It's mainly family that asks, so not too invasive! ( I have a very large extended family) My first cousins conceived twins when she was having hormone shots. So when we told everyone it was twins, they all assumed I'd done the same thing as her! But heller, I'm 22 and even though my husband and I wanted a baby, we weren't to the point where we were searching for other means! Many of the people won't ask to my face, the ask close family members!
Last pregnancy, I got a lot if comments from patients when they found out is be going back to work after LO was born.
"You must feel bad that someone else has to raise your baby"
"Why have kids if you won't be home to take care of them"
"It's a shame women think they can have kids and a career. You need to pick one. If you choose career, you shouldn't be having kids"
What is this, 1950? And for so many families it isn't an option to have a parent stay home. I would love to be home with my LO for the first few years, but we need my income. Never mind the fact that I'm still paying off my Master's degree and will be for another 4-5 years and am super close to getting my CPA license which was/is a huge PITA.
F16 Sep Siggy Challange - Fav Thing About Fall (even though "fall" won't be here until at least Dec)
I wasn't really offended by this, just weirded out: I was talking with my MIL about finding out the sex and old wives tales and such, and she proceeded to tell me the different sexual positions in which my H and SIL were conceived. Way TMI. Not quite sure what kind of response she was looking for there, but I have no idea what day we conceived, let alone the various methods involved. Definitely a WTF moment.
I am the negative Nancy. I was looking at bottles at Target and a lady ask if I was pregnant. I said yep. Then she asked me what I hoped I was having... My reply was very sarcastic. "Well we were hoping for a velociraptor since no one has one of those, but since we had an ultrasound just a baby." I'm awful.
We haven't really told anyone but our parents but my husband decided to spill the beans to my bro-in-law and his wife when they were over this weekend since we are almost at 13 wks. So I'm not really showing yet and her husband made a comment that I'm gng to be small since I'm 12 wks and his wife was basically huge at 14. His wife (my beloved sis n law) quickly said... "I think she's gonna get big because her legs are already getting bigger" wtf! Your baby is almost two already and your belly looks like you are 7 mos pregnant! Ugh! Some ppl!
We had a horrible first doctors appointment where we thought we lost the baby. When we told my dad he said " well I know you guys will keep practicing until you get it right." The awkward part is we live with my parents.
Last pregnancy, I got a lot if comments from patients when they found out is be going back to work after LO was born. "You must feel bad that someone else has to raise your baby" "Why have kids if you won't be home to take care of them" "It's a shame women think they can have kids and a career. You need to pick one. If you choose career, you shouldn't be having kids"
What is this, 1950? And for so many families it isn't an option to have a parent stay home. I would love to be home with my LO for the first few years, but we need my income. Never mind the fact that I'm still paying off my Master's degree and will be for another 4-5 years and am super close to getting my CPA license which was/is a huge PITA.
------- I would never give up my job. It is way too hard to get back into my industry, and we need the money. These were all older people, and oh how I wish I could snark something back at them. I so plan on trying to go PT for a few years after this little one, though.
I've had " you know what causes that right?" And "are you kidding??!! You're having a 4th baby!!???!" I honestly told one person that I don't see why they are so concerned. I haven't asked them for anything nor do I need their approval as a married woman to extend my family... People kill me with their judgements!!
The only people that know we're expecting right now are family, but my friends have been harrassing me like crazy, not realizing how inappropriate it is. Today the captain of my volleyball team emailed all of us to see who can commit for our league for the fall, and I said I wasn't sure how much I'll be able to play so they should put me down as a sub. I'm pretty sure that after I sent that email they started a new thread without me on it to talk about the fact that they've all guessed that I'm pregnant, because one of my teammates called and left a VM a few hours later saying "What's really going on with you? Are you pregnant?" I'm tempted to make these girls to be the last to know if they keep bothering me about it. It's like they don't realize that I can't not tell them forever. They definitely don't realize that it's not ok to ask about this and they should wait until people are ready to tell them (they're mostly pretty close friends so I'm sure they just can't comprehend why I wouldn't tell them something so important).
I'm 11w1d and I was told yesterday that I don't look pregnant, just that I ate one too many cookies. Seriously?! Like I don't feel fat enough already! Smh
I haven't really had any pg related comments since we haven't told anyone but family yet, but lately people keep asking me "when are you going to have another one" or posting "time for baby #2" on pics of DD (she just turned 3). Maybe because I'm from a family of 5 and got the family planning questions ALL THE TIME growing up but they still bug me today! I know ppl aren't being mean just nosy but grrrr!!
Ugh, ok so it's not that offensive but it drives me crazy when everytime(and I do mean everytime) my MIL and someone (usually at church) are discussing my pregnancy near me, she'll say "yeah I thought it would never happen". I just want to tell her to please shut up.
Last pregnancy, I got a lot if comments from patients when they found out is be going back to work after LO was born. "You must feel bad that someone else has to raise your baby" "Why have kids if you won't be home to take care of them" "It's a shame women think they can have kids and a career. You need to pick one. If you choose career, you shouldn't be having kids"
I swear. I love how people: A) assume that anyone wants their input on personal life experiences, and believe we still live in 1920's.
I get a lot of side eye when I tell people that yes I DO plan on finishing my bachelor's and pursuing my career.
Omg I hated that!! One time with my last, this lady at church was asking my husband which was sitting next to me if I was having contractions already. I'm literally 2 feet in front of her!!!
I'm 11w1d and I was told yesterday that I don't look pregnant, just that I ate one too many cookies. Seriously?! Like I don't feel fat enough already! Smh
An employee at the B&B we stayed at this weekend and I were talking about my and her coworker being pregnant and she told me (standing there in maternity clothes at 9 wks) "you can't even tell." Thanks, so I just look fat. Great.
Because we have one boy and one girl, we've had people act all shocked that we wanted another. So we get the "Was it planned?" or "Really?" I'm not sure why that's so surprising but whatever.
So much of why if we have a boy this time we hope to have a 3rd
I'm 11w1d and I was told yesterday that I don't look pregnant, just that I ate one too many cookies. Seriously?! Like I don't feel fat enough already! Smh
I'm 11w1d and I was told yesterday that I don't look pregnant, just that I ate one too many cookies. Seriously?! Like I don't feel fat enough already! Smh
Re: Offensive Comments
Nonchalantly letting them know that I'm not going to answer. It's none of their business.
My twins were not conceived with fertility treatments but I still find the question rude and none of their business. I don't go around asking "oh so you're having a boy!? What position did you have sex in?"
The rib slip was sooooo painful last time. I'm 5'0" with a very short torso also.
It can definitely happen. I had 4 ribs out of place after I had my twins. I'm only 5'3". And the human body apparently isn't made to carry babies to "50weeks"
I'm awful.
Feb 2016 Siggy Challenge, Favorite Thing About Fall
"You must feel bad that someone else has to raise your baby"
"Why have kids if you won't be home to take care of them"
"It's a shame women think they can have kids and a career. You need to pick one. If you choose career, you shouldn't be having kids"
Edited: spelling
It's mainly family that asks, so not too invasive! ( I have a very large extended family) My first cousins conceived twins when she was having hormone shots. So when we told everyone it was twins, they all assumed I'd done the same thing as her! But heller, I'm 22 and even though my husband and I wanted a baby, we weren't to the point where we were searching for other means! Many of the people won't ask to my face, the ask close family members!
-------
I would never give up my job. It is way too hard to get back into my industry, and we need the money. These were all older people, and oh how I wish I could snark something back at them. I so plan on trying to go PT for a few years after this little one, though.
A) assume that anyone wants their input on personal life experiences, and
I get a lot of side eye when I tell people that yes I DO plan on finishing my bachelor's and pursuing my career.