Offensive Comments

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

Just curious what offensive comments you other ladies have heard so far?

I've gotten, "How old are you again?" "When are you getting married?" and (my personal favorite) "Was this planned?"

bookqueen · July 2015

I thought this was totally going to be about something else, hahaha.

I haven't had any yet this pregnancy, but I did get a few mild ones my first pregnancy.

geojam224 · July 2015

Can I add the stupid comment from my dad?

About 2 weeks after we told them the news, my husband worked a night shift and we went over my parents house in the late morning/early afternoon. H asked if he could take a nap cuz he was still tired from working 6p-6a. So I took him upstairs to the guest bedroom. My dad yells up, "Hey! You already got her pregnant once!"

Can you say inappropriate?

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

@geojam224 reminded me that I was asked by a coworker yesterday if I got pregnant again on vacation.

inomniaparatus · July 2015

Someone told me I must be having a girl because I was breaking out on my chin and girls "steal your beauty"... She tried to recover by saying that I usually have perfect skin (not true btw) ... But I didn't really care because I kinda want a girl

I'll be happy with either of course as long as they're healthy!

PumpkinTi · July 2015

One of our grandparents responded to the news with a snickering face saying "I know what you've been doing!" Thanks grandma, I needed to know you now have THAT mental image....

Not offensive - but after telling my parents, I got as a response from my mom, "I was 94% sure." I live out of state, so that wasn't based on anything visual, how I've been feeling, etc..

DizzyMom1 · July 2015

We've had "Again already?!?", "Did you plan it or.....", and "This one's yours, right?". Since the last one was a surrogacy that question does make sense, still an inappropriate question though, we announced as "S is going to be a big sister!", I feel that should kind of be self explanatory, lol

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

A different coworker said, "This is gonna be a long 9 months."

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

DizzyMom1 said:

We've had "Again already?!?", "Did you plan it or.....", and "This one's yours, right?". Since the last one was a surrogacy that question does make sense, still an inappropriate question though, we announced as "S is going to be a big sister!", I feel that should kind of be self explanatory, lol

They don't understand that the last one was yours?

pbtoast · July 2015

bookqueen said:

I thought this was totally going to be about something else, hahaha. I haven't had any yet this pregnancy, but I did get a few mild ones my first pregnancy.

Me too. My eyes were already rolling as I waited for the thread to load. I'm glad this was the topic and not the alternative

I actually haven't widely announced yet so no offensive comments yet. Stay tuned!

DizzyMom1 · July 2015

Knottie30790171 said:

DizzyMom1 said:

We've had "Again already?!?", "Did you plan it or.....", and "This one's yours, right?". Since the last one was a surrogacy that question does make sense, still an inappropriate question though, we announced as "S is going to be a big sister!", I feel that should kind of be self explanatory, lol

They don't understand that the last one was yours?

Well my first pregnancy was our daughter, last pregnancy was a surrogacy for my aunt, so not ours, and this pregnancy is ours again.

ashcody2 · July 2015

Is it weird I find it annoying to be asked every.single.day. how I'm feeling? Example: "Nauseous today?" "What food aversions do you have today?" My co-workers all know I'm pregnant and have for awhile, but there's one guy (who I know is just doing it all in fun) who asks me every day these same questions, so he can reply with "Oh, I know what I'm having for lunch!" I don't know why, probably just the hormones but I find him to be really obnoxious.

Thank goodness my nausea has pretty much cleared up lately - it's maybe every couple days now, and not near as bad as it was in the beginning.

Or I love the older ladies who claim that - they barely gained any weight, since I said I had to eat often in the beginning since I was so nauseous and she's like "you don't want to gain that much, too early!" Lady, you're 5' tall - I am almost a foot taller than you, I think I can handle putting on a little more weight.

wisco29 · July 2015

The only thing offensive so far are a select group of people annoyed we aren't sharing yet...they seem to be annoyed by it.

We might be reluctantly telling our parents this weekend so I'm probably going to need this thread to have major Bfest!!!!
I can see fil saying some rude thing about money

pbtoast · July 2015

ashcody2 said:

Is it weird I find it annoying to be asked every.single.day. how I'm feeling? Example: "Nauseous today?" "What food aversions do you have today?" My co-workers all know I'm pregnant and have for awhile, but there's one guy (who I know is just doing it all in fun) who asks me every day these same questions, so he can reply with "Oh, I know what I'm having for lunch!" I don't know why, probably just the hormones but I find him to be really obnoxious.

Thank goodness my nausea has pretty much cleared up lately - it's maybe every couple days now, and not near as bad as it was in the beginning.

Or I love the older ladies who claim that - they barely gained any weight, since I said I had to eat often in the beginning since I was so nauseous and she's like "you don't want to gain that much, too early!" Lady, you're 5' tall - I am almost a foot taller than you, I think I can handle putting on a little more weight.

Oh yes, this! I feel like such a Grinch but the few people who do know I'm pregnant ask me EVERY DAY "How are you feeling?" and it drives me up the wall. I feel like shit, I'm cranky, and I don't want to talk about it! I totally know they are trying to be nice and I feel terrible being annoyed, but seriously. Leave me alone.

balancedinnovation · July 2015

We are waiting to tell anyone until mid August due to previous MC and it makes for less to untell. However, H is 20 years my senior and we were not planning on any more kids. We each have a child from a previous marriage and we were content with what we have had and have together. EVERYONE knows we both said no more - so I am anticipating many of comments that will fly our way from "Was it planned?" "Are you sure its yours?" "Is it going to be healthy?" and a few age related for my husband. His family will be most surprised and judgmental, mine may be a little shocked, but will be excited for the both of us.

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

DizzyMom1 said:

Knottie30790171 said:

DizzyMom1 said:

We've had "Again already?!?", "Did you plan it or.....", and "This one's yours, right?". Since the last one was a surrogacy that question does make sense, still an inappropriate question though, we announced as "S is going to be a big sister!", I feel that should kind of be self explanatory, lol

They don't understand that the last one was yours?

Well my first pregnancy was our daughter, last pregnancy was a surrogacy for my aunt, so not ours, and this pregnancy is ours again.

Duh. I blame pregnancy brain. I thought you used a surrogate.

Sprinkles07 · July 2015

I'm a small girl and baby has no where to go but out. With DS I got the twins comment SO much. I hated it. Also it's not exactly offensive but near the end of my due date people constantly asked me about when I was due and it drove me nuts. Especially after my due date. DS was a week late so I started to get a little bitter like he should be here!!

Quazel · July 2015

I have to try really hard not to ask my pregnant coworkers how they are feeling every day. I care about them and know it changes quickly so I am always wondering how they are doing.

We haven't told anyone yet but I had a super rude one when pregnant with DS. I was in my 7th month and was up 6 lbs. from pre-pregnancy weight after having lost a few lbs. during 1st tri. I was a little nauseous and grabbed a mint from the candy bowl in other teacher's lounge. A lady said to me "You better cool it with the candy if you ever want to lose all of that weight you've gained." I was SHOCKED. I simply said "I'm honestly not worried about losing 6 lbs."

pbtoast · July 2015

Quazel said:

I have to try really hard not to ask my pregnant coworkers how they are feeling every day. I care about them and know it changes quickly so I am always wondering how they are doing.

I know, that's why I feel bad! I know they care about me! But my patience is so short right now and when I feel like crap as is, I can't help but feeling annoyed saying day after day, "Yep, still feel terrible." I know I'm an awful person.

ashcody2 · July 2015

pbtoast said:

Quazel said:

I have to try really hard not to ask my pregnant coworkers how they are feeling every day. I care about them and know it changes quickly so I am always wondering how they are doing.

I know, that's why I feel bad! I know they care about me! But my patience is so short right now and when I feel like crap as is, I can't help but feeling annoyed saying day after day, "Yep, still feel terrible." I know I'm an awful person.

Lol - I know they care about me too and that's why they're asking but honestly, I usually just say a simple, "fine, today!" I must be a terrible person too, but seriously I hate talking about it everyday! I just keep thinking, this is going to be a long 9 months if they keep asking me daily, ugh.

blueberrymomma · July 2015

Well first my BIL said in front of everyone "Now you can let your belly hang out" I'm like what belly? I'm bloated but not huge. Then DH's cousin said "you must be having a girl cause your butt is getting fuller." A) I've never had a butt

I was all belly with DD

willamina28 · July 2015

I haven't told more than a few very close friends and family at this point. BUT, I fully expect to get a lot of "was this planned?" questions because my LO is only 9 months old.

Out of just the few I've told so far we've had 2 people ask us this. I'm not offended by it, though I might be after getting it 20 more times. With our IF issues we knew we wanted to start TTC after 6 months, I just had no idea it would happen so fast!

ARogers26 · July 2015

Quazel said:
I have to try really hard not to ask my pregnant coworkers how they are feeling every day. I care about them and know it changes quickly so I am always wondering how they are doing.

We haven't told anyone yet but I had a super rude one when pregnant with DS. I was in my 7th month and was up 6 lbs. from pre-pregnancy weight after having lost a few lbs. during 1st tri. I was a little nauseous and grabbed a mint from the candy bowl in other teacher's lounge. A lady said to me "You better cool it with the candy if you ever want to lose all of that weight you've gained." I was SHOCKED. I simply said "I'm honestly not worried about losing 6 lbs."

Yeah she better cool it with the comments if she doesn't want to talk to HR. How rude!

I was also a week over due with my son, I was so uncomfortable anything anyone said was annoying.

MamaFroFro · July 2015

Sprinkles07 said:
I'm a small girl and baby has no where to go but out. With DS I got the twins comment SO much. I hated it. Also it's not exactly offensive but near the end of my due date people constantly asked me about when I was due and it drove me nuts. Especially after my due date. DS was a week late so I started to get a little bitter like he should be here!!

I have a short torso so similar problem. There's just no room! Did your rib cage end up expanding a lot? Mine got so big bras were a serious challenge and one of my ribs slipped out. Not fun! That rib still hasn't healed properly. I felt like this...

And people say, you're so tiny, you are going to be so cute pregnant. Ya right lol!!!

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

MamaFromero said:

I'm a small girl and baby has no where to go but out. With DS I got the twins comment SO much. I hated it. Also it's not exactly offensive but near the end of my due date people constantly asked me about when I was due and it drove me nuts. Especially after my due date. DS was a week late so I started to get a little bitter like he should be here!!
I have a short torso so similar problem. There's just no room! Did your rib cage end up expanding a lot? Mine got so big bras were a serious challenge and one of my ribs slipped out. Not fun! That rib still hasn't healed properly. I felt like this... And people say, you're so tiny, you are going to be so cute pregnant. Ya right lol!!!

My ribs permanently flare out and my son is almost 19.

Monkeybutt80 · July 2015

With my first pregnancy, I was visiting my in laws for christmas and I was about 3 months in, and when I mentioned that I was in maternity pants, my FIL screamed out loud, "Why are you in maternity pants already?" ummm bc my regular pants are uncomfortable? and obviously, you couldn't even tell that they were maternity pants so why does it matter?

Shatzegirl · July 2015

During my first pregnancy, my MIL asked my husband on speaker phone, "Is she getting fat, yet?"

And the day after I delivered my son, she said, "Don't you hate people who lose all their baby weight right after they give birth!?" Insinuating in a passive aggressive way that I hadn't lost any weight.

I can't wait to see what she comes up with during this pregnancy ugh! She has said that she wanted twins and I told her I was fine with just one.

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

Shatzegirl said:

During my first pregnancy, my MIL asked my husband on speaker phone, "Is she getting fat, yet?" And the day after I delivered my son, she said, "Don't you hate people who lose all their baby weight right after they give birth!?" Insinuating in a passive aggressive way that I hadn't lost any weight. I can't wait to see what she comes up with during this pregnancy ugh! She has said that she wanted twins and I told her I was fine with just one.

Shitty comments like hers are the number 1 reason I do not miss my ex-MIL.

Twindling · July 2015

I haven't got any offensive comments yet this pregnancy but my last one I always got (and still do) "were they natural? Did you use fertility treatments?"

Life is Exciting · July 2015

A relatively new coworker (an older woman) saw a pic of my toddler on my desk and asked if he was my grandson. WTF?!! I'm 31! And am obviously (very big already) pregnant with #2.

brushesnbrunch · July 2015

The only thing I've had so far, a friend straight up asked me if I was pregnant before I was ready to share and when I said I was she got pissed I haven't let anyone know yet. In my head I was like, "Bish, I'll tell you when I'm gd ready to tell you!" Oh and my HR rep cornering me after seeing me totally bloated the day before. That was uncomfortable.

Life is Exciting · July 2015

I have a short torso so similar problem. There's just no room! Did your rib cage end up expanding a lot? Mine got so big bras were a serious challenge and one of my ribs slipped out. Not fun! That rib still hasn't healed properly. I felt like this...

And people say, you're so tiny, you are going to be so cute pregnant. Ya right lol!!!

My ribs permanently flare out and my son is almost 19.

The rib slip was sooooo painful last time. I'm 5'0" with a very short torso also.

bauerkj · July 2015

The worst was from my Dad...making sure I'm not drinking and being foolish this round since I had a MC earlier this year...like I caused the MC!

BBEA2006 · July 2015

b/c DD was unplanned, although welcomed, we get a lot of "was this planned" w/ this LO? I don't really take offense to it though, I just kindly say yes and move on. And then b/c this is our 3rd, people assume this is our last one. Which may or may not be the case.

sbegnaud93 · July 2015

Twindling said:
I haven't got any offensive comments yet this pregnancy but my last one I always got (and still do) "were they natural? Did you use fertility treatments?"

Oh my goodness, I've already had so much of this. People assume you can't conceive multiples naturally, alone!

Reinhrs · July 2015

After telling family last night, we got:

From my mom- "I wasn't gonna say anything cause you looked like you put on weight" and " your gonna be like me and have 6-7 kids".

From my grandparents- "it was a surprise huh", " your sister called it" (because she is a nurse also and has 4 kids, everyone thinks/jokes that I have to copy her), and " your gonna end up having as many as your mom huh".

From his mom- " your getting snipped now right?"

ETA: after having my 2nd and dealing with post partum depression my MIL said " I was too busy and didn't have time to feel like that when my boys where little". This coming from a women who's very narcissistic and borders on bipolar some days.

moomee · July 2015

I have 3 kids with my ex-husband and this is pregnancy #2 for my SO and I (I had a miscarriage in April). When I told my dad about the loss, he said, "Well, I was wondering how you were going to take care of another baby and go to school." I'm pretty terrified to tell him that I'm pregnant again.

g8trkim · July 2015

Because we have one boy and one girl, we've had people act all shocked that we wanted another. So we get the "Was it planned?" or "Really?" I'm not sure why that's so surprising but whatever.

mamaek · July 2015

"Where you trying?" "That was fast" "you didn't waste any time did you?!" "You should eat fat from meat or brain cells won't develop as they should..." Sure I will have more in the future ;;)

FreshBakedBrownies · July 2015

sbegnaud93 said:

Twindling said:
I haven't got any offensive comments yet this pregnancy but my last one I always got (and still do) "were they natural? Did you use fertility treatments?"

Oh my goodness, I've already had so much of this. People assume you can't conceive multiples naturally, alone!

---

So how do you respond?? My twins were conceived through ivf but I don't think strangers or random acquaintances necessarily need that information!

g0lightly8706 · July 2015

I haven't really dealt with any.. yet. well, except my grandmother.

She's always been hard on me about my weight. constantly bringing it up, as if i don't already know about.

When i told her i was pregnant, first thing she started in on was being overweight and pregnant and all the risks. I quickly shut her down by saying many women have successful pregnancies while being overweight and asked her kindly to please move on. But she just can't let it go.. I've learned to laugh it off but she really just doesn't understand how much i want to roll my eyes every time she just has to say something about it.

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