@lilcutiepie0256- After reading all of the replies to this post, I feel like you have to do what's best for you and your situation. If you have been trying for the last 4-5 months and you haven't been charting/temping/using OPK's, and you haven't read the book Taking Charge of your fertility, those would be my recommendations just from some of the other posts on the Trying to Conceive Board. If you don't "lurk" on that board, I would check that board as well. There are lots of ladies with plenty of experience with charting/temping/usking OPK's on that board, so if you haven't done those things yet and have questions about the process, they are a great resource.
I more or less asked this question just to see what others experience has been. We are on our 3rd month of trying and I've been temping daily this month and using the OPK's as well. To me, I wanted to do do this for at least the first few months because I've been on BC for the last 6 years consistently and had no clue what my cycles were like off of BC. I never paid attention to when I ovulated, if I ovulated, etc. So to me, at least starting out, I want to be able to have some what of a clue of what is going on with my body. I'm also going to be 35 in August and DH and I have been together for 8 years total, so I'm ready for baby. I feel like for us, its important to have somewhat of an idea of what's going for the first few months. If we don't have any luck within the first 6 months, I may just stop charting/temping and using the OPK's and try to just do the BD when i would guess my fertile window to be, or every other day after AF and before the next one starts.
Another reason I'm keeping track right now is because you can't go to any doctor as a female without one of the 1st questions out of their mouths being "When was your last period?" And I've been very regular due to BC. If we need fertility help or to go at least see a specialist, I don't want to start @ square one. I want to be able to tell them I've been doing my homework, I know that I've ovulated based on my temp changes, I've been keeping track of my cycles and they are regular, etc.
So again in my opinion, if you've just been winging it, you may want to start doing some "homework" to get a better understanding of what's going on with your body so you are prepared if you choose to see a dr about possible fertility issues.
I would love to get in on this discussion! I just NEED to vent this out to people who understand. Me and my husband have been trying to get pregnant for 4 almost 5 months now. It has been the most frustrating thing. I've never taken birth control or any type of it. So when we officially started trying. I thought it would be no sweat. Because you hear those comments people say on how it takes a little longer to get pregnant once you stop taking your birth control. So I was feeling good and positive on the whole thing. But now, I just feel we are missing a step. I have been constantly tracking my cycles, and my ovulation periods and everything. I feel like nothing is helping. It doesn't help that 5... yes 5 of my friends are ALL pregnant right now, some of them were lucky enough that they weren't trying, or they just had better luck than I did. I feel like it's a huge slap in the face to me. I can't escape from it! I keep just getting my hopes up!
Help, am i doing something wrong? Has anyone else felt like this? If you found reassurance please tell me!
Yes please lurk the ttgp board and learn from them. In a nutshell, they'll tell you to read Taking Charge of your Fertility, download the fertility friend app, buy a bbt thermometer ($7 on Amazon), and start temping/ check cm, and use OPKs.
When I started trying for my first, I was surprised I didn't get pregnant within the first 3-4 months. I was probably missing my fertile window but didn't realize it. I stalked the ttgp board and learn so much about myself. It's not that difficult and when I started temping/ OPKs etc, I got pregnant the first try. Not saying that will always happen but your timing of sex will be improved along with your chances. Good luck!
The first month we TTC DS, we just winged it. I'd had two previous cycles off birth control, each 27 days long, so figured I was ovulating in the middle of my cycle. Of course that first month I did not, we missed the fertile window completely, and then I spent a small fortune on pregnancy tests because my period was "late." I started charting and using OPKs the next cycle, did not conceive, but did on the third cycle. Post birth control my cervical mucus was not obvious enough to rely on it alone (I had no EWCM the cycle I conceived DS).
This time around, I had Mirena removed at the end of March, TTA for the next two cycles, but started charting to get back into the hang of it. The first cycle of TTC I unexpectedly ovulated a week earlier than I had the previous cycle (and my cycles while on Mirena had been averaging 30-35 days the last six months), we only had sex once during the fertile window...and that's apparently all it took.
I can't imagine not charting! I'd be so in the dark!
We tried for a while, discovered I had PCOS, worked on fixing that. Now that my cycles are regular I started charting again and was able to clearly know exactly what point I was at, exactly when I was ovulating, exactly how long my luteal phase was, etc. It was all important information! Second month of doing that after fixing the PCOS we got pregnant. I was confident counting down the dpo because I could see when we ovulated, when we BD, how much CM I had. I could just look at that on my charting app (OvuView) every day and feel confident!
I temped for my first pregnancy and got pregnant the first cycle we tried to conceive. I didn't temp the second time around (but I know when I'm ovulating anyway, it's pretty hard to ignore CM and ovulation pain) and got pregnant the first (and only) time we had sex without using protection.
Thank you for replying I really appreciate the feedback! I know I am psyching my self out, with how much I am planning things out. I think the best thing TO do is to just let it happen. For me, that's totally hard to do! I am just an organizer and planner that it's hard for me to be patient. Especially about this and seeing all my other friends pregnant is so hard.
I have been taking ovulation tests and making sure to track them using a Ovulation app on my phone that seems to be working pretty well. But maybe I should just let it happen..
My sister also told me to read the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility" and I actually did start reading it so hopefully that will help me understand my body a little more because I also went into this whole "baby making thing" not knowing too much about how much goes into the process so that was a little bit un prepared on my end.
I also wanted to put this out there, have any of you been told, or had experiences where both you and your Husband are both stressed out a lot of time because of work? And maybe that could be slowing down the process of things? Work has been very stressed for me and my husband recently, and I think that is playing a big part in our lives where we are at the point where we don't even want to try for a bit because of our situations in our lives.
Has anybody had so much stress on them that it's been slowing down their process of trying??
Also what phone apps, books or other things do some of you use to help all this??
We were NTNP and off BC for a year, then we spent 7 months using OPKs and in the 8th month I temped and amped up my vitamin regime, and low and behold, we conceived. I had been on BC for 10yrs and when I came off my cycles were irregular and long, so I needed to determine if I was ovulating before seeking a specialist.
We only looked at when I would be ovulating and when that window opened(a few days before and a few days after just in case I was a little off ) we did the do lol. It worked the first time(Super lucky).. I am 9 weeks 1 day
I charted and temped for the first 8 months. I finally stopped because
1. I knew I was ovulating regularly, so there wasn't any issue there.
2. I was driving myself nuts. I constantly overanalyzed my temps- was that dip meaning my period's coming or did I sleep with my mouth open? Is it possible to be pregnant even when your temp dips? I'm a day later than my cycle normally goes, I must be pregnant!!! etc.....
I googled the crap out of my temps and was disappointed every month. So I stopped. I still knew around the time I ovulated, but I didn't have to stress over the exact details.
It took us 12 months exactly. The week before I found out I was pregnant I had bloodwork done to see if something was wrong with my eggs, thyroid, etc. I had given up at that point. Surprise!
We were going with the flow for five months then I tracked the 6th and that is when the magic happened. Found out I ovulated a week later than average, game changer.
@lilcutiepie0256- I would def go to the TTGP board as well, those ladies have lots of info and insight!!
Are you temping? if you don't take your temperature you won't know if you've even ovulated. You can have a period and not ovulate, so just using the OPK's is not enough. Also, your LH surge can happen at different or multiple times in your cycle, so the OPK is not the most reliable indicator of your FW.
I started out my journey using Ovia app on my iphone, but have since found that FF is much more accurate and what 99% of the other ladies on these boards use. FF actually "pinpointed" my ovulation date based on the info I was putting in, Ovia did not do that. big difference in the 2 apps.
Stress is a big factor in this process too, for sure. I would recommend trying to find a source for stress relief. Working out, you want to be as healthy as possible to carry baby anyways! Getting massages, taking up a hobby, try some meditation, carve out some quiet time for you every day to just relax and de-stress.
If you and DH are too stressed, you may need to take a time out from TTC. I'd still keep up with your charting/temping, etc but maybe not focus on it so much. (if that's possible) There was another person on here who said that they are TTC focused one month and the next month they just kind of "wing it" and aren't as TTC focused. You could try that?
another piece of info that I try to focus on is that it can take a healthy couple up to one year to conceive. So you are at the 1/2 way point, which is a good thing. Hopefully that means it will be sooner than you think! I had also read that another person said her approach was that it can take 6 months and that was her focus. So again, same concept, if it happens sooner, you are pleasantly surprised.
Best of luck!! Check out the TTC board and hang in there!! you are not alone!
THANK YOU! You are so sweet to give me that great advice! I am following the 'TTGP board', and also 'New to the Bump and TTC.' So i'll see what they have to say.
I am not temping, I've heard that it is not that important! But I had no idea! Maybe I will start doing that to see if it works, i'll have to read up on that more.
The only app i am using is Ovia, and I like how it tracks everything for me since i have been using it. The "FF" app your talking about is that Fertility Friend? I'll give that a shot too to see the difference in the apps.
i'll continue using my ovulation kits, they seem to work fine. but i should be trying to take my temperatures to see if that helps me too!
Who would have thought this would be such a tough process! Thank you for the advice! i Truly appreciate it!
DD2 took 4 months. The first 3 months, we winged it. The 4th month, I charted and temped and found out that I ovulate about a week later than I thought I did. So we timed sex around the new ovulation date and it worked the first month. Currently 20 weeks pregnant.
I used to be a scoffer, too. But c & t really can be a useful tool in your family planning.
Hello, We used OPK for one month and never got a positive reading. That was kind of a bummer but, with the pressure off made love a few times a week anyway. I only took a pregnancy test to see if I was ready to takw another round of Provera and Clomid. SUPRISE! Now I'm 5.5 weeks pregnant! Praise God.
I do have to tell you though that you should really start taking your temperature, not just consider doing it. Taking your temperature is the only way to confirm that you have ovulated. The OPKS only indicate your LH surge and you can have multiple of those throughout your cycle so they are considered a secondary sign of when your fertile window may be. In other words if you are not temping, you could be completely guessing your fertile window wrong. You could be missing the mark completely. I would start temping as soon as your next cycle starts for sure. Most of the ladies here use the Mabis thermometers that I believe you can buy on Amazon. I got my basal thermometer from Target, $8. Not a huge expense. I would invest $$ in a thermometer before spending any more $ on OPKS. Whoever told you that temping is not that important is wrong, especially if you are serious about TTC. Also, I just re-read your original response to this post and if you have been TTC now for 4-5 months you most certainly want to start temping.
The FF app is the Fertility Friend app and I'm telling you, get it and use it. I started with the Ovia and still use it but the FF one is 1000x better.
By temping I was able to see that AF was coming in the last 24 hours without needing to use a HPT. The temping is where its at and I've seen what a huge difference it makes in just one month of consistently doing it now. Read the previous post from Beachbum678 for more validation that you need to start temping!
@BeachBum678- I wouldn't say I'm a scoffer, but its just so hard to hear people say, it will happen when its supposed to happen. Or when people roll their eyes if you say you are temping, etc. I was just trying to see how many people just got lucky and how many people put more effort into it.
I charted my temp only for a solid 4 cycles before trying so I had 2 from each ovary. Turned out every other month it looks like I ovulated twice and I have a short luteal phase. When we started trying, we had sex about every other day, 3 days before I thought I'd ovulate and then whenever we wanted to because it has to still be fun! Got pregnant right away.
With my first pregnancy, I recorded when my period started and ended and went off of the average "fertile" day. We got pregnant on the second month. I ended up miscarrying. I did the same thing the second time, for probably 7 months of so. I then charted, took my temp, etc for 1 month. When I got my period I was completely devastated (more so than just trying "in general"). I stopped charting (stressed me out so badly my period was late). I then went back to just keeping track of when my period started and ended. We did the deed everyday around the time I was supposed to ovulate. Every other day didn't seem to work. Haha. Anyway, 11 months after trying initially, we are now 10 weeks pregnant.
I think charting is great if you're level headed and can handle disappointment!! Haha. Also, if you're more into getting pregnant "whenever it happens." I'm too impatient and wanted a baby asap and the fact that I was doing everything right, did it on THE day and didn't get pregnant was hard for me.
Tracked my periods/ovulation using an app on my phone called "My Days". Only took me one month of tracking. Did the deed a couple times when I supposedly was ovulating (according to the app)... and BOOM! Pregnant. CRAZY!
Those apps are not accurate for every person. They use a average cycle and apply it to everybody.They say every woman ovulates 16 days before her period. That's not true. I've used those apps and they did not work for me. I started temping and realized I ovulated 13-15 days before my period. It will work if you have a perfect cycle. But that is not the case for every woman. And just because you don't ovulate the same as everyone else doesn't mean anything is wrong you just have to learn your own body! You have a better chance of conceiving if you temp.. You just do.
Re: How many of you that are pregnant did the charting/temping/OPK and how many just winged it?
When I started trying for my first, I was surprised I didn't get pregnant within the first 3-4 months. I was probably missing my fertile window but didn't realize it. I stalked the ttgp board and learn so much about myself. It's not that difficult and when I started temping/ OPKs etc, I got pregnant the first try. Not saying that will always happen but your timing of sex will be improved along with your chances. Good luck!
Married Bio * BFP Charts
Me: 32 Hubby: 31
Married 12/29/12
Started TTC July 2014
Miscarriage August 2014
Emmett born February 2016
Expecting Baby #2 in August 2017
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/544e80
DD2 took 4 months. The first 3 months, we winged it. The 4th month, I charted and temped and found out that I ovulate about a week later than I thought I did. So we timed sex around the new ovulation date and it worked the first month. Currently 20 weeks pregnant.
I used to be a scoffer, too. But c & t really can be a useful tool in your family planning.
We used OPK for one month and never got a positive reading. That was kind of a bummer but, with the pressure off made love a few times a week anyway. I only took a pregnancy test to see if I was ready to takw another round of Provera and Clomid. SUPRISE! Now I'm 5.5 weeks pregnant! Praise God.
I did the same thing the second time, for probably 7 months of so. I then charted, took my temp, etc for 1 month. When I got my period I was completely devastated (more so than just trying "in general"). I stopped charting (stressed me out so badly my period was late). I then went back to just keeping track of when my period started and ended. We did the deed everyday around the time I was supposed to ovulate. Every other day didn't seem to work. Haha. Anyway, 11 months after trying initially, we are now 10 weeks pregnant.
I think charting is great if you're level headed and can handle disappointment!! Haha. Also, if you're more into getting pregnant "whenever it happens." I'm too impatient and wanted a baby asap and the fact that I was doing everything right, did it on THE day and didn't get pregnant was hard for me.