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October 2015 Moms
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has anyone been a bridesmaid with infant twins?

gibbieregibbiere member
in October 2015 Moms
Hi ladies.

I just finished my bridesmaid duties for a good friend's wedding this past weekend, at 28 weeks pregnant with twins. (This is my first pregnancy). Luckily I have been feeling good, and was able to participate in all aspects of planning, events, purchases, and handmade gifting. I have been out of work on paid preg-related short term disability, which allowed me the time and energy to do all of these things. Everything went smoothly and I felt I was one of the stronger supports in the bridal party of 7, and had a really good time with all of it. 

While that's done, a second (equally close and great) friend is getting married June 2016. I have already been asked and have accepted to be a bridesmaid for her (which was asked of me before the pregnancy). 

We all live in New York — Bride lives on Long Island, I am currently in NYC, though relocating next month with my partner about 60 miles north to the Hudson Valley, where I grew up, to have the babies and get family's help. Understandably, wedding, shower, bachelorette, dress fittings and bridesmaid meetings will all happen on Long Island. 

Now, Bride is a great friend of ten years who truly has a heart of gold. Easygoing, undemanding and understanding. I really want to support her and I've always wanted to be a part of her future wedding. 

She asked me today to really think about whether or not it's truly feasible for me to be a bridesmaid. It made me sad to consider that maybe I can't. 

By wedding day my twins will be 8 months old. Not the worst, though clearly, there is much involvement as a bridesmaid in the planning of the events in the months prior (shower, bachelorette, etc). Though she has modest taste and wishes, our family will most likely be on one income in the new year when my maternity coverage ends. 

Has anyone been a bridesmaid while caring for baby twins? I didn't have an answer for Bride today as I just don't know what life will look like in the coming months. I had been considering all along that it would be just fine, but her question is now casting some doubt. 

Bride has scheduled a bridesmaid's lunch/dress fitting for this weekend, which I will be attending with my 28 week belly. I told her I truly want to be her bridesmaid, but at the same time, don't want to be a burden, a weak link, nor a source of anxiety, or a sense of anything less than 100% support for her.

Any advice, experiences, thoughts or musings you'd like to share would be most helpful!
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Re: has anyone been a bridesmaid with infant twins?

  • Wigglesx2Wigglesx2 member
    Honestly I had 2 bridesmaids that showed up for the wedding ceremony and that was it. One didn't even stay for the reception. While that is not ideal, no where does it say a bridesmaid has to do this, this, and that and if she truly wants you to be a bridesmaid and stand with her on her wedding day then it shouldn't matter if you can plan and be at every event until then. Unless you are the maid of honor, I don't see a reason why you should consider not being a bridesmaid if she wants you to be part of her day.
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  • bashley3bashley3 member
    Every wedding I've ever been in has cost me at least $1,000. I'm having twins, too... and thinking of that expense next year is a little overwhelming (especially when daycare will be costing $1,700/month at that point).

    If she's bringing it up, it might be best to ask her to honestly tell you what her expectations are... and if you can commit to just the shower and wedding (I personally feel those are the most important).

    This is also coming from the 'jerk' that didn't allow any kids at my wedding... including those of two of my three bridesmaids. We would have had six babies 18 months and younger, and I couldn't get over the mental image of them all screaming through the ceremony (just as I'd be horrified if mine started at someone else's wedding... ). You said she was easygoing... and you didn't mention if you'd be bringing them, but that's another thought. If they come and you're standing up for your friend, will your partner have both babies to tend to until you're done?
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