I personally feel they are tacky. As much as I would love more free things for this baby, I know how tight money is for people these days and having an event where they feel obligated to buy things just feels wrong. I have specifically told my family who threw my last shower I do not want one. PLUS being due in January puts a typical baby shower around the holidays this year and I don't want that pressure added to my friends and family.
We may have a "meet and greet" event once baby is earth side so people can meet him or her so if anyone brings gifts then that will be ok.
The general consensus that I've heard is that it's tacky and gift-grabby. I was trying to explain this to DH the other day because he had no idea you don't do a shower for every baby. LOL
My mom did say she might throw a tiny family-only thing if we have a girl (#1 is a boy) but I think that's mainly because she wants to buy some frilly dresses.
I wish I didn't think it was tacky because I would love to have some new baby stuff. My DS will be 4.5 and a lot has changed in the baby world! No one locally will throw me one anyways. It's all gravy.
pregnancy #1 :: daughter lost to chromosomal abnormality at 18 weeks
I wish I didn't think it was tacky because I would love to have some new baby stuff. My DS will be 4.5 and a lot has changed in the baby world! No one locally will throw me one anyways. It's all gravy.
Me too! I wish I had the balls to have a baby shower for my third lol and ensure to write in the invites that gifts are welcome but not mandatory of course. )
The general consensus that I've heard is that it's tacky and gift-grabby. I was trying to explain this to DH the other day because he had no idea you don't do a shower for every baby. LOL
My mom did say she might throw a tiny family-only thing if we have a girl (#1 is a boy) but I think that's mainly because she wants to buy some frilly dresses.
Nothing stops your mom from buying frilly dresses. You don't need a second shower for that.
This is my second, but its been 12 years since my son came along. I didn't have a shower with him because he was 11 weeks early, and we all kind of forgot with having to deal with a preemie and not being allowed to leave the house with him for 2 months after he came home.
My two cents also, (like any more is needed lol)...Super tacky & gift grabby. I love how people try to spin it so many different ways. Only one baby shower, and that's it. I really don't care if this is a new gender or a baby after many years... I'm old school & I'm not participating. Side eye from me lol. Hate all you want. Many years ago, ppl didn't have showers & many cultures don't believe in it. So sue me. ;-) I'm not responsible for your family planning. The nerve of people nowadays...boy, everyone's special and everyone's entitled. Wow!
My two cents also, (like any more is needed lol)...Super tacky & gift grabby. I love how people try to spin it so many different ways. Only one baby shower, and that's it. I really don't care if this is a new gender or a baby after many years... I'm old school & I'm not participating. Side eye from me lol. Hate all you want. Many years ago, ppl didn't have showers & many cultures don't believe in it. So sue me. ;-) I'm not responsible for your family planning. The nerve of people nowadays...boy, everyone's special and everyone's entitled. Wow!
Im a third time mom kids are 11 and 7 this is our first baby together (his first entirely) we will be buying all our high ticket items but we will be having a get together and gifts are not expected but i have a very close family grandma is making the baby a blanket out of my papas old shirts (he died in 2007) so its more for the DH. I myself dont want a full on baby shower ive had one and i personally think its for FTM's but to each their own.
Ms. Manners commented on this in the paper today. She pretty much said showers were meant for first babies to help the new family. However, I think the idea of giving a STM diapers and wipes is a great idea!!
I just had a sprinkle for a friend of mine - it was VERY small ... 5 of us including the mom to be. We gave her small gifts. It was a chance to get together and acknowledge and celebrate the baby before he comes and also to spend time together since we probably won't for a few weeks after the baby is born.
I definitely think this is a cultural debate because I'm Haitian and my family members always have a party in honor of the unborn baby. No matter how many children they have. It is not the typical baby shower with cute games. Just a ton of food, music, dancing, and gifts for the baby. My family would be dumbfounded and hurt if someone in my family rejected it. We are always looking for an excuse to eat some good food and listen to music. Gifts are not the main focus of these parties. Mostly clothes, diapers, wipes, and bottles are gifted. These gifts are on the cheaper side so maybe that's why we don't mind multiple 'showers'? This will be my first, so I'm looking forward to the party.
Everyone has basically said what I would say. DD will be 18m so most things I will have. I'm team green so if I have a boy people will prob bring small boy gifts to the hospital or the house. Although I don't expect anything, I mean what could I possible need? A crib? Maybe a double stroller? I'm going to budget for those things in my own.
When I first started thinking about baby showers I suppose I was thinking of them more of a party as a celebration of pregnancy ect. And I wanted to throw my own one, so I could pick everything myself and be in control. I when on the baby shower board, and got relatively politely told (not flamed really, I was lucky ) this was still rude. I was a bit indignant, but I've had some time to think about it. It is literally a party for reciving presents, being showered in gifts, and people are going to give you gifts anyway! It's not the nicest thing to throw your own, or have more than 1. Maybe, as was suggested to me, just have a normal party invite your friends and make no mention of the baby, you will get to celebrate, and you won't come across as greedy, undoubtedly you will still get gifts if that is a concern, but that way people don't feel guilted into getting them for you.
My sister wants to throw me one and I told her no - that we have everything we need and I wouldn't be comfortable with it. So she said she's going to get some of my closest friends and family together for a brunch. Love that idea!
My sister wants to throw me one and I told her no - that we have everything we need and I wouldn't be comfortable with it. So she said she's going to get some of my closest friends and family together for a brunch. Love that idea!
I love this idea. I have been struggling with the idea of the shower my SIL wants to throw, even though it's been 17 years and everyone wants a party, it's my 3rd child. The brunch could be a good compromise.
I am a STM (my DS is 18mos) and I know my mother and MIL are planning on throwing a "shower" for me. We've turned it into a family reunion (with a few very close friends invited) with a mild baby theme. I don't get to see my family often and we haven't had a big reunion since before my grandmother passed away. I already have everything I need for baby #2 so it's more about food, the kids (my cousins have had a bunch of little ones I haven't even met yet), and the big brother-to-be (I plan on making him a big brother backpack and a cake).
Call me crazy... But I also think it's tacky to throw a shower for yourself! Even if it's your first. It seems like asking for gifts. Let your family or friends or coworkers throw you as many as they want. If they don't mention it for second, third or eighth babies, you shouldn't throw yourself one! But maybe that's just me? I come from a small community in Maine. I've been to first baby showers, and second / third babies of a different. Sex showers, and coworkers wanting to do something nice for a second baby showers, and community coming together for a mother of 5 having a new baby and needing help showers! Take all the blessings people want to shower you with, and be thankful not expectant.
I am having a sprinkle for new born items since my first son was 6 months old before he came home from the hospital. A lot for him from then on was specially made for his condition so I don't have a lot of baby stuff. But I do agree that to each their own but I would be "busy" for a 2 under 2 baby shower.
A friend of mine and I were both expecting boys as our 2nd, and our girls were both about 2 years old. So a bunch of ladies from our Sunday school class took us to dinner and got us some boy clothes and gift certificates. It was kind of a moms night out but kinda of a sprinkle. I didn't expect any kind of a shower but it ended up being really fun. No dorky games or awkward gift opening ceremony
Re: Baby showers for 2nd time moms. Tacky?!
My sister wants to throw me one and I told her no - that we have everything we need and I wouldn't be comfortable with it. So she said she's going to get some of my closest friends and family together for a brunch. Love that idea!
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015