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October 2015 Moms
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Things I Wish Men Could Understand

stephiesheldorkstephiesheldork member
in October 2015 Moms
I would LOVE to hear what you guys wish the men, or even women who have never been pregnant could understand about pregnancy. So I'll start you off with my #1 Contrary to what they might think, we're not only pregnant when it's convenient to be so. They love it when people let us have their spot in line or give up their seat for us, but the minute I need to sit down because you've been dragging me around town on foot all day, I'm just making "excuses".
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Re: Things I Wish Men Could Understand

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  • gogracegograce member
    @tracij12 my poor DH does the same thing. If I say I'm going to lay down because I don't feel well, he asks what's wrong. If I say my back hurts, he wants to make a chiropractor appointment. Like, no, it's okay, it's not actual pain, just aches.
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  • JaqiDec04JaqiDec04 member
    stephiesheldork said:

    I would LOVE to hear what you guys wish the men, or even women who have never been pregnant could understand about pregnancy. So I'll start you off with my #1 Contrary to what they might think, we're not only pregnant when it's convenient to be so. They love it when people let us have their spot in line or give up their seat for us, but the minute I need to sit down because you've been dragging me around town on foot all day, I'm just making "excuses".

    Oh my gosh, this. I know I have 14 weeks left, but I seriously can't go shopping with DH. He'll even say he isn't walking fast, but I just can't keep it. I get winded and I'm always finding somewhere to sit in whatever store we're in.
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  • SarahAnne1101SarahAnne1101 member
    I wish my husband could understand that I don't want to be touched all the time. The littles want me to hold them, and I have a tiny human in my body at all times. i can only hand so much stimulation, so stop petting my legs every time i sit down or constantly wanting to cuddle on me and pat and rub my belly. 

    Also- Rubbing my belly is not touching the baby. it's touching my belly, so if I ask you to stop, do it. Just because I am gestating a human doesn't mean that I lose all rights to my deciding who can touch me and when.... I guess that's more of an everyone thing though, not just men. 
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  • SrhbgrSrhbgr member
    I have an aunt who has never had any children, yet she is convinced that because she "observes me" she knows my body better than I do. I wish she could get it through her thick scull that pregnancy has symptoms other than just having a baby. Everytime I get heartburn or a back ache or any sort of little pain, she is convinced it is because I are red meat or didn't sit up straight or xyz. Uhm no, I'm pretty sure it's because I'm PREGNANT!
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  • kfry22kfry22 member
    That people's comments about how "big" I am and how we better be thinking of two names do bother me. Yes it helps that hubby tells me I'm still beautiful even though I can't see me feet but other people's rude comments still sting. He doesn't understand why I get so upset and says I'm overly sensitive.
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  • smlowe9311smlowe9311 member
    That when I get up its because I have motivation to do something (or I have to pee). That isn't the time to try to hug me or touch my belly or block my path. If I'm sitting on the couch fine. Come over from your recliner and sit with me and play with my hair or whatever else you want to do.

    Also our levels of being tired are not comparable. I am going on day who knows what number of only sleeping a few hours between insomnia, getting up to pee and RLS. Then I get up and take care of dd1 and try to keep up with the house. You being tired because you began a summer cycle of staying up late to watch movies/tv then sleeping away the morning and repeating doesn't compare.

    And finally (and this has to do with dh being so into amateur acting) when I complain about something for those 30 seconds let it be about me-don't compare it to what you are going through. (Just a note I typically work really well with this part of dh's personality as it helps me put things in perspective but being pregnant it's had the total opposite effect)
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  • stephiesheldorkstephiesheldork member
    Fact: I'm using more energy just sitting on the couch than my husband would be using if he was body building at the gym.
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  • lavenderlisalavenderlisa member
    When my husband looks at me like I'm being dramatic because I groan when I bend down to pick something up. I can't get him to understand that it really is uncomfortable to bend down because I now have this huge weight hanging that is my belly, and if I don't bend down with my legs like a sumo wrestler prepared for battle, that I squish my belly and it hurts. And I groan because the weight pulls on my back which is also uncomfortable...... sihhh I guess he will never understand.
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  • carlymarie021carlymarie021 member
    @FirstTimeMamaAricka OMG I know..... My boyfriend does that!!!!!!!! Even after I tell him to slow down he ends up picking up speed again. So when we walk the dog they are way ahead of me and I look like an idiot waddling behind.
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  • Krysta6Krysta6 member
    edited July 2015
    My husband is naturally a one upper. So if my back hurts his hurts too (and worse!) now I just sit there smiling at him until he gets it.

    I get a weird 50/50 response from people. Some want me to do absolutely nothing which annoys me and then some people think I should be able to do everything I've been able to do before. I guess no one can win with me and should probably just leave me alone :-/

    ETA DH walks to fast I just grab his arm and force him to walk with me lol
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  • meghan82meghan82 member
    mrsdhouse89 said:
     It'd be nice to have one conversation not get turned into something about how we should do sexy time lately. 
    i think we married the same guy, haha. me: "hubs, thanks so much for cooking dinner and doing the dishes, i really appreciate it!" him: "you can pay me back later tonight!!!" :wink wink nudge nudge: he always makes corny jokes like this so i am used to it to a certain degree but i have been seriously trying to explain how sex just feels weird right now and definitely not as good for me as usual... which he takes personally when it has nothing to do with him!! 
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  • plumpousplumpous member
    edited July 2015
    That there is such a thing as "my boobs are too big"!
    He loves it, and I know I look all plump, but my gosh, it's so hard to shop for this, and so much of my existing wardrobe doesn't fit my boobs even if it fits my belly. I am bursting at the seams! And it's so heavy!!!!
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  • mrsdhouse89mrsdhouse89 member
    Krysta6 said:
    My husband is naturally a one upper. So if my back hurts his hurts too (and worse!) now I just sit there smiling at him until he gets it. I get a weird 50/50 response from people. Some want me to do absolutely nothing which annoys me and then some people think I should be able to do everything I've been able to do before. I guess no one can win with me and should probably just leave me alone :-/ ETA DH walks to fast I just grab his arm and force him to walk with me lol
    My husband is the same way! I've been sick all day from our dinner last night. My stomach has hurt all day, so of course naturally his stomach started hurting too at lunch... oh please.  L-)
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  • mrsdhouse89mrsdhouse89 member
    meghan82 said:
    mrsdhouse89 said:
     It'd be nice to have one conversation not get turned into something about how we should do sexy time lately. 
    i think we married the same guy, haha. me: "hubs, thanks so much for cooking dinner and doing the dishes, i really appreciate it!" him: "you can pay me back later tonight!!!" :wink wink nudge nudge: he always makes corny jokes like this so i am used to it to a certain degree but i have been seriously trying to explain how sex just feels weird right now and definitely not as good for me as usual... which he takes personally when it has nothing to do with him!! 
    OH MY GAWD, they're twins! My husband constantly says things like since I did this for you, maybe you'll pay me back later in our room ;);):)...or just any other sexual inuendo that can be fit into our conversation. I finally asked him one day if he gets sick of making stupid comments and he asked if I would rather he ignore me and not show any interest in me... I told him there was such a thing as a happy medium and he needed to learn it. 
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  • BBairesBBaires member
    I wish he'd stop rolling his eyes when I say I feel huge and instead tell me DAILY that I look good. Especially on days I don't. 

    He's never been one to lavish compliments on me, which was fine when I felt attractive with or without his comments. But now, being 7 months pregnant and away from my amazing support network of girlfriends who compliment everything, I really need him to step it up. 
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  • rmll0201rmll0201 member
    edited July 2015
    To the person that said when people randomly put their hand and my belly shaking it while yelling kick. I hate that too Lol. My mom does this and I'm just like no just stop. Lol
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  • zetlopezzetlopez member
    brittanispears said:

    I wish that people would stop asking me how I feel. I know it sounds dumb but my answer has been the same EVERY TIME someone's asked for the last 6 months: tired. 


    I also wish my MIL didn't think this was her baby. I'm half of the couple who put her in my uterus, therefore she's mine. 


    Omg yes this times 100. I am so tired of ppl asking me how I feel. I feel awesome actually. Me being pregnant hasn't changed me. I was feeling fine til you started badgering me about how I feel. Like just bc I'm pregnant I'm supposed to be tired and miserable. In relation to this I also hate when ppl assume I should have certain symptoms or the just wait comments. Um I'm six months along and still haven't had that symptom you've had me waiting on from day one so yea every pregnancy is different and just bc you were miserable doesn't mean I have to be. I guess my rant is more for been there done that moms instead of men or women that haven't been pregnant.
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  • Knottie96391996Knottie96391996 member
    I wish my boyfriend would understand that just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I still want to clean up after dinner after making it and working all day. I just would like a little help. Save me from taking twenty steps and tell me to sit down once in a while. I don't mind taking care of our home but help every now and then would be nice.
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  • gabrielafrnqyepezgabrielafrnqyepez member
    i wish DH would understand that A: nesting is a real thing i dont go on cleaning binges or get all worked up jus because i want to be tired and have swollen feet B: yes i looovveee shopping but i dont wanna just spend money on "random" things for baby they are things that baby needs!!! and no it IS going to be no more than $200 !!! and finally C: that when going into labor and giving birth it won't be him, or the doctor or even the nurses doing all the work .....IT WILL BE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





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  • dchiapelladchiapella member
    anorthro said:
    I wish my husband would understand that just because I'm pregnant and hormonal, it doesn't invalidate any negative feelings I have toward him. If I'm upset with him, he still has to take some responsibility for what it is that upset me, even if my reaction is a little more exaggerated than usual. If anything, chalking everything up to my hormones is going to make me resent him deeply.
    Yes... Yes, yes, yes... This. 
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  • zaclinazaclina member
    That maybe talking about going on a guy trip two-three months after first baby is born is not something that thrills me. And saying how "getting away can be healthy" isn't selling it.
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  • mommy_wife_nursemommy_wife_nurse member
    Dear SO.. Just because I'm home all day doesn't mean I'm the only one who knows how to do housework.. It's a teamwork job if you ask me!! He frustrates me somedays.
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  • KLHauck12KLHauck12 member
    I wish my husband could understand the responsibility I feel carrying this baby. He is constantly telling me not worry over something. But easy for him to say! He didnt have to brace himself for signs of miscarriage early on, wonder over whether something is normal or concerning, or monitor how often the baby kicks!
    I know stress isn't good for the baby but its hard not to have those worrying thoughts cross your mind when you have aches/pains and odd feelings...or anything you aren't sure what it is! And the responsibility you feel if the Doctor is concerned about something - because it is your body that is causing it!
    I just don't think he would be saying the same things if he was responsible for keeping baby safe and any bumps in the road were because of how his body was functioning!
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  • MamaOwl15MamaOwl15 member
    plumpous said:

    That there is such a thing as "my boobs are too big"!

    He loves it, and I know I look all plump, but my gosh, it's so hard to shop for this, and so much of my existing wardrobe doesn't fit my boobs even if it fits my belly. I am bursting at the seams! And it's so heavy!!!!
    This! My husband is a boob guy. He seems to think the bigger, the better. But there comes a point when boobs can get too big, and I'm beyond that.

    What was wrong with my prebaby boobs? They fit into bras j could actually buy in a store and many styles of clothing, and they didn't feel like I was walking around with sandbags on my chest.

    Not to mention the under boob sweat.

    Also, if I tell you please don't touch my boobs, because in addition to being gigantic, they're also really sensitive, I mean it!

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