Early Bed Time

blairdavis99 · July 2015

Hi all! We started a bed time routine a few weeks back for my 13 wo twins. So far it's been great! We get about 7-8 hours on the first stretch & 3-4 on the second. I read all the posts promoting earlier bed times so we start at 8pm. This then puts us up at 3 or 4 for a feeding. DH is asking since we are still up at 10pm, why not start then so that our next feeding falls at a reasonable hour like 5 or 6 when he gets up for work anyway. Other than the fact that I like a few baby-free hours with DH at night, I'm not sure what to tell him. Remind me why an earlier bedtime is better? TIA!

marijaa333 · July 2015

It depends on your babies. Mine starts to fuss around 6:30-7, so being in bed by 7:30-8 means only an hour or so of fussy time.

In any case, count yourself lucky with the 7-8 hours with the twins!

danibonello · July 2015

Moving bedtime back to 10 doesn't guarantee that they won't still wake up at 3-4... so there's that... in fact it may make things worse by changing their schedule and making them over tired. However, to me, having some baby free time (especially with twins) see like a perfectly valid reason itself.

justkeeptrying · July 2015

From what I understand most babies have a natural wake up time in the morning. So bedtime at night is often based on that in order for them to get 11-12 hours at night. My DS is definitely showing us that his natural wake up time is 6am (I really wish it was later) so we've just been starting a 7pm bedtime.

You could try a later bedtime to see what happens. But I wouldn't be surprised if they still got up at the same time and then you'd have some overtired babies on your hands.

jennygirlmt · July 2015

I follow her cues. She went to bed at 10:30 until a week ago. She would then wake at 4 for a feeding, then up at 8.

Then she started getting sleepy at 9:30, but she started waking at 1, 4 and even 6, which was hard.

Last night she was tired by 8:30 so I I put her down.she woke at 3, 4:20, then 8. It was nice to have time with DH though!

I've also know people to have kids who go to bed at 10 and wake at 10. Whatever works that gets your kids enough sleep and you sanity.

I will say, if they already go to bed at 8 and sleep that well, you could be asking for trouble keeping them up.

Even now if we get them to bed late, they rarely sleep in, then I have cranky pants on my hands

erin79 · July 2015

Starting around 3 months (and for many babies, even younger), they need 11-12 hours of sleep at night, so that's why an early bedtime is good. If you put them to bed at ten, they're still going to wake up for the day between 6 and 8 because of their natural biological rhythms, so you're just depriving them of important night sleep. Plus, as one of the PPs said, they'll still probably wake at the same time to feed, or even earlier, regardless of when you put them to bed. The earlier you put them to bed, the better they sleep. Sounds crazy, but it's true.

Mommabroad · July 2015

Have a hard time believing this but who knows, might be true. In Spain we eat dinner at 10 and we are lucky to get the baby in bed by 12/1; late to bed and late to wake is ten times better for us than if she woke up for the day at 8 and needed a feed sometime in there. I think babies simply adapt to your schedule and the time you tend to put them to bed and wake up for the day. Also blackout curtains are amazing if your baby naturally wakes with the sun... Tricks from a night owl I suppose but an 8pm bedtime is unfathomable to me. But it all depends on if you want the time in the morning to snooze or at night with your man!

alyssarenee2011 · July 2015

We start bedtime routine at 930. She gets her bath and we read and swaddle and give bottle by 10. It takes her until after 12-1 to go to sleep every night. She sleeps until 6 am and then is awake until 7-8 am. And then sleeps until 11am. We try everything to get her to go to sleep but she just won't, she isn't fussy or anything just wide awake staring at us. Any ideas on how to get her bedtime earlier?

erin79 · July 2015

Mommabroad said:

Have a hard time believing this but who knows, might be true. In Spain we eat dinner at 10 and we are lucky to get the baby in bed by 12/1; late to bed and late to wake is ten times better for us than if she woke up for the day at 8 and needed a feed sometime in there. I think babies simply adapt to your schedule and the time you tend to put them to bed and wake up for the day. Also blackout curtains are amazing if your baby naturally wakes with the sun... Tricks from a night owl I suppose but an 8pm bedtime is unfathomable to me. But it all depends on if you want the time in the morning to snooze or at night with your man!

I suppose this works if you have one parent who is home all day and the baby doesn't need to get up at a specific time. But for those of us who work and have to leave the house in the morning, our babies have to get up early, too. What happens when children start school? They can't be going to bed at 12 then, can they?

ewiley63 · July 2015

We put ours to bed at 7-8 and dream feed at 10. I read somewhere the need to eat overrides the need to sleep so it's more about hunger whether or not they wake up I'm the middle of the night. He usually wakes up at 3:30am and then 6ish but has gone as long as 4:45 a few times.

MrsKindy40 · July 2015

My 3 month old just started going down earlier. It used to be between 8-8:30 but now she's ready between 630 and 7. I change and feed her at 1030 and put her back down before we go to bed. She eats again around 4 or 5 and then sleeps until 730.

DMEL · July 2015

erin79 said:

Mommabroad said:

Have a hard time believing this but who knows, might be true. In Spain we eat dinner at 10 and we are lucky to get the baby in bed by 12/1; late to bed and late to wake is ten times better for us than if she woke up for the day at 8 and needed a feed sometime in there. I think babies simply adapt to your schedule and the time you tend to put them to bed and wake up for the day. Also blackout curtains are amazing if your baby naturally wakes with the sun... Tricks from a night owl I suppose but an 8pm bedtime is unfathomable to me. But it all depends on if you want the time in the morning to snooze or at night with your man!

I suppose this works if you have one parent who is home all day and the baby doesn't need to get up at a specific time. But for those of us who work and have to leave the house in the morning, our babies have to get up early, too. What happens when children start school? They can't be going to bed at 12 then, can they?

As a working parent, I completely understand the need to get Baby up at a certain time. But there's no reason to Shame this mom for her own choices- I'm sure she'll work out wake up time in the 5 years before her child starts school.

erin79 · July 2015

DMEL said:

Mommabroad said:

Have a hard time believing this but who knows, might be true. In Spain we eat dinner at 10 and we are lucky to get the baby in bed by 12/1; late to bed and late to wake is ten times better for us than if she woke up for the day at 8 and needed a feed sometime in there. I think babies simply adapt to your schedule and the time you tend to put them to bed and wake up for the day. Also blackout curtains are amazing if your baby naturally wakes with the sun... Tricks from a night owl I suppose but an 8pm bedtime is unfathomable to me. But it all depends on if you want the time in the morning to snooze or at night with your man!

I suppose this works if you have one parent who is home all day and the baby doesn't need to get up at a specific time. But for those of us who work and have to leave the house in the morning, our babies have to get up early, too. What happens when children start school? They can't be going to bed at 12 then, can they?
As a working parent, I completely understand the need to get Baby up at a certain time. But there's no reason to Shame this mom for her own choices- I'm sure she'll work out wake up time in the 5 years before her child starts school.

I think maybe my tone was misconstrued. I was genuinely asking if kids in Spain still go to bed at midnight once they start school. Maybe they start later there, or maybe they have naptime at school. I really was curious.

SmrBrd2012 · July 2015

I'm not sure I buy the early bed time...Usually I start the process at 8 and he goes down by 10ish. Tonight he showed signs of being sleepy at 7 so after his bath he was out by 7:30. Well, now it's 9:30, he woke up, and he's wide awake.

He did nap from 4:30-6 though which is unusual so that probably didn't help. Maybe it's just an off day...

smileitskarli05 · July 2015

@erin79 @DMEL

Sorry ladies, Bump never alerted me I got a reply there! As a serious response to your question, yeah there are a bunch of kids that go to bed at midnight here! I worked with a lot of 5 and 6 year olds this year and they laughed pretty hard when I told them American kids go to bed at 8:30 (response: do they wake up up for dinner??)

Spanish schools tend to start at the rather reasonable time of 9 am and most kids leave the house a few minutes before and walk. Big meal happens after school at 3pm and then kids (and some adults) take a nap after. (Business hours are 9-2, then 6-9) With a 2/3 hour nap during the day most kids don't need more than 8 hours at night. A lot of adults also nap during the day and just sleep 5 or 6 hours at night. Plus, since so many parents get home at 9:15ish they have to have a later dinner. I had teacher co-workers that would go out to see a 11pm movie on a weekday... you'd never see that happen in the states. The strange hours are because of extreme temperatures during midday when you can't be out and about so siesta culture resulted and some very different meal/ sleep schedules!

But yes, I hope my baby can handle an earlier bedtime sometime in the next few years... but for the time being I like her being up with us at night so she sleeps later and I can be asleep during her long stretch.

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