I've never heard of a sprinkle or sip and tea or see but from the moment I learned we were expecting I knew I didn't want a shower. I had no idea it was considered tacky to have a shower for a 2nd child I just knew I didn't want one. And still don't. My son will be 13 soon so of course we have nothing from his infant days. Plus it was a previous marriage. This time it's a boy and a girl so I know I'll need a lot but still don't plan on having a shower. If friends and family want to purchase gifts on their own then awesome.
I don't think it's tacky, maybe it doesn't have to be as big but I like the idea of bringing in a new birth with a celebration of some sort. Keep it cute and simple maybe make it clear that it's a gathering but gifts are welcomed let's be real who doesn't love gifts and who doesn't love babies
I don't think it's tacky, maybe it doesn't have to be as big but I like the idea of bringing in a new birth with a celebration of some sort. Keep it cute and simple maybe make it clear that it's a gathering but gifts are welcomed let's be real who doesn't love gifts and who doesn't love babies
How would you go about doing that? Straight up telling someone you would love for them to bring you a gift? That's ballsy. And so crass.
I was given showers for both of my two girls. The first time around I was a single mom and the second was 7 years later and was the first for my husband. Baby #3 is coming over 5 years after the last but I don't expect nor do I want a shower for this one. I'm a cake artist and am dying to make a super cute baby cake so I'm thinking it'll have to be a gender reveal type of thing
I don't think it's tacky, maybe it doesn't have to be as big but I like the idea of bringing in a new birth with a celebration of some sort. Keep it cute and simple maybe make it clear that it's a gathering but gifts are welcomed let's be real who doesn't love gifts and who doesn't love babies
How would you go about doing that? Straight up telling someone you would love for them to bring you a gift? That's ballsy. And so crass.
Not so much or telling or asking but I believe ppl will bring alittle something. My opinion I could be wrong. Or on an invite simply putting not a big event but gifts are accepted. Idk make it funny something in that nature
I don't think it's tacky, maybe it doesn't have to be as big but I like the idea of bringing in a new birth with a celebration of some sort. Keep it cute and simple maybe make it clear that it's a gathering but gifts are welcomed let's be real who doesn't love gifts and who doesn't love babies
How would you go about doing that? Straight up telling someone you would love for them to bring you a gift? That's ballsy. And so crass.
Not so much or telling or asking but I believe ppl will bring alittle something. My opinion I could be wrong. Or on an invite simply putting not a big event but gifts are accepted. Idk make it funny something in that nature
Gifts should never be mentioned on an invitation. Even to say "no gifts." There's no amount of funny that could make "I want gifts" not rude.
@nysahH it would take a lot for me to be offended by something, but if I am being completely honest, if I received something for a second baby, being thrown by the mother to be and said gifts welcome or gifts accepted, for me, I would find that offensive. I would have brought a gift, but unless it was my best friend or something, if I saw that I wouldn't go. What if some friends aren't in a position to buy a gift for a second baby, wouldn't you still want them to come and not feel bad. If anything, could you just not write "no gifts".
DH and I are planning to have a BBQ at the end of summer to celebrate this baby. We're not sending out invites and most people won't know it's a celebration for the baby, because we're calling it BBQ. This is our way of getting friends and family together.
I have had a shower for all three and will for this one. However I don't register nor do I expect gifts. My girlfriends volunteer and I make it clear that it's more about celebrating the new baby. I don't want to be gift grabby. Plus there's always yummy food
I don't think it's tacky, maybe it doesn't have to be as big but I like the idea of bringing in a new birth with a celebration of some sort. Keep it cute and simple maybe make it clear that it's a gathering but gifts are welcomed let's be real who doesn't love gifts and who doesn't love babies
How would you go about doing that? Straight up telling someone you would love for them to bring you a gift? That's ballsy. And so crass.
Not so much or telling or asking but I believe ppl will bring alittle something. My opinion I could be wrong. Or on an invite simply putting not a big event but gifts are accepted. Idk make it funny something in that nature
Wait wait wait. So you plan on throwing your own shower (your other thread "Baby Shower Discussion"), AND telling people to make sure they bring stuff? Wow.
I never had a real thought about it until I joined TB in my last pregnancy. My daughter will be two when baby comes and when I got pregnant I never thought of a baby shower for this one. Since having my daughter I have an entirely new group of friends (my old friend's still don't have kids so we don't see each other as often) and when they asked when I was going to have my baby shower I looked at them like they were crazy and said "isn't it tacky? My first baby is still a baby and we saved all the big things and even favorite clothing." They then in turn looked at me like I was crazy, two of them were talking about throwing me a shower... I'm not expecting it but if they do that's nice of them because they want to celebrate my pregnancy and I'd be very grateful.
Now, I have a BEC (frenemy) and she's having another baby shower for her 3rd girl... and her second girl won't even be two when this baby comes... and I am giving her ALL THE SIDE EYES. I know it seems similar but if you knew he you'd understand my side eyes more.
I just can't at all the tacky in the two baby shower threads. Im going to forever side eye a few people for some responses. Major eww. Of course gifts are going to always be accepted, even if you had a baby sprinkle or a sip and see, are you going to tell a nice guest oh no sorry we said no gifts, but thanks though. Let me shove the silver spoon a little father up your a**.
Second baby showers don't bother me, but if you are concerned with negativity yet still want to celebrate baby and momma (and daddy too) then maybe consider a co-Ed gender reveal party with close friends and family. Gifts aren't necessary at these, and you can play cute gender guessing games. Pinterest is my best friend for ideas for this party!
I don't think people should have a second baby shower. There are other ways to celebrate the baby, reveal party or meet the baby party. The only time I could see someone having a second shower was if they were having another baby years and years after their last, I'd say 5-6 years later. Otherwise, buy your own stuff! Lol
I'm almost identical to another poster here. My first 2 are 15 and 7, from a previous marriage, both boys. I have very little left overs that are very used and for a boy. We are expecting a girl this time. I don't think it's tacky for me to have a baby shower. Its a new life for me. And I'm excited to celebrate our new baby! Also I never had a baby shower before for either of my boys. I just went out and bought what I wanted myself. I feel like I missed out on the experience!
I'm almost identical to another poster here. My first 2 are 15 and 7, from a previous marriage, both boys. I have very little left overs that are very used and for a boy. We are expecting a girl this time. I don't think it's tacky for me to have a baby shower. Its a new life for me. And I'm excited to celebrate our new baby! Also I never had a baby shower before for either of my boys. I just went out and bought what I wanted myself. I feel like I missed out on the experience!
I think people only have an issue when the kids are close in age, like 1-3 (probably even 4) years. I had a shower for DD, then another for DS - but it was 13 years later.
@keshakdavis you found out it's a boy and girl?! Congrats!!
Yes, thank you We found out on Saturday at a 14 week gender test. I was too anxious to wait for my 20 week appointment with my OB. We are thrilled because it's what we wanted.
As a Brit, I don't know anyone who has had a baby shower, or a registry. Close family and friends often like to buy little outfits and things, and some people might pass on hand-me-downs, but other than that we're usually on our own.
I actually like the idea of a baby shower (particularly to celebrate the coming of the baby), but I'm amused that some people want 2 or 3 when they have all young children.
I don't think it's tacky, maybe it doesn't have to be as big but I like the idea of bringing in a new birth with a celebration of some sort. Keep it cute and simple maybe make it clear that it's a gathering but gifts are welcomed let's be real who doesn't love gifts and who doesn't love babies
How would you go about doing that? Straight up telling someone you would love for them to bring you a gift? That's ballsy. And so crass.
Not so much or telling or asking but I believe ppl will bring alittle something. My opinion I could be wrong. Or on an invite simply putting not a big event but gifts are accepted. Idk make it funny something in that nature
Wait wait wait. So you plan on throwing your own shower (your other thread "Baby Shower Discussion"), AND telling people to make sure they bring stuff? Wow.
I never once said that I will be telling ppl to bring stuff to my baby shower, though I'm a ftm its expected but I could do for me and mine the spoling isn't a problem. Let's be correct here
I'm not so fussed on ettiquite for these things personally, but even I think it's tacky to ASK for presents on an invite. Regardless of whether it's the first or second shower. However I don't think it's tacky to ask people NOT to give presents, (as a pp said) but I'm quite biased as I did this in my wedding invite, as I got married overseas I didn't want people to pay to come and then also get us presents! But hey, I'm by no mean good with ettiquite.
My first child is 9, from a previous relationship and so I literally am starting fresh with this baby with my husband. I don't think it's tacky at all for me to have a baby shower. Of course, I'm not registering for big ticket items either, I'm mostly registering for little things and cloth diapers.
I don't think it's tacky, maybe it doesn't have to be as big but I like the idea of bringing in a new birth with a celebration of some sort. Keep it cute and simple maybe make it clear that it's a gathering but gifts are welcomed let's be real who doesn't love gifts and who doesn't love babies
How would you go about doing that? Straight up telling someone you would love for them to bring you a gift? That's ballsy. And so crass.
Not so much or telling or asking but I believe ppl will bring alittle something. My opinion I could be wrong. Or on an invite simply putting not a big event but gifts are accepted. Idk make it funny something in that nature
@nysahH I think this is why we thought you were going to be telling people to bring gifts. Maybe we misunderstood what you meant here.
I dont' think its tacky. I had my shower yesterday, my other child is 17 and this one was a bit of a surprised, so we were completely unprepared. Also, my first child was with my previous (deceased) hubby, so with the exception of my tried and true girlfriends I've known forever and my immediate family, many of the guests never participated in my previous shower. I would never have expected a shower, but my lovely friends insisted on one!
I agree with the sprinkle, particularly if you are having a different sex. A full blown baby shower for the 2nd is tacky to me...you simply don't need all that stuff (unless it's been years since your last baby, which I understand could be the case).
I think it's definitely tacky to have a baby shower for your second + baby.
I wish it wasn't tacky because our first is only a year, so we'll need to buy another crib and doubles of other things.
This past winter we (my husband and I, his friend was the dad) went to a baby shower for a second baby, but it was the first baby for the dad. The dad's mom really wanted to throw a shower for her first grandchild. It was small, immediate family and a few close friends, and in that case I feel like it was ok, and done appropriately.
I do not see any celebration of a birth as tacky. I had one for both my girls which are 3 years apart. I'm on my third and my friends want to throw me one for this baby which I won't refuse. We never give big gifts anyways. We give what we can and I always give to others. My girls are 7 and 4 now and want to participate in a shower. Nothing wrong with a party. We will also have a party for his/her one month after birth as well to follow Chinese tradition. I would only invite close friends and family so it's never rude. We like to party.
I do not see any celebration of a birth as tacky. I had one for both my girls which are 3 years apart. I'm on my third and my friends want to throw me one for this baby which I won't refuse. We never give big gifts anyways. We give what we can and I always give to others. My girls are 7 and 4 now and want to participate in a shower. Nothing wrong with a party. We will also have a party for his/her one month after birth as well to follow Chinese tradition. I would only invite close friends and family so it's never rude. We like to party.
Of course you don't see it as tacky, because you're doing it.
@kmcconnell22 whoa! I wouldn't have a second shower myself, but isn't telling people they won't be shown any mercy because they don't agree with your viewpoint a little much?
@kmcconnell22 whoa! I wouldn't have a second shower myself, but isn't telling people they won't be shown any mercy because they don't agree with your viewpoint a little much?
Ugh...she's not saying she won't show mercy she's saying on that board the entire community will flame you.
ChrissyD1203 said:
@kmcconnell22 whoa! I wouldn't have a second shower myself, but isn't telling people they won't be shown any mercy because they don't agree with your viewpoint a little much?
----- Quote box fail ----------------------------------------I didn't mean by myself. I don't really participate on that board. I was just giving fair warning. And FTR, it's not my viewpoint. I did not create the etiquette rules.
Me: 30 DH: 35
TTC #1 - Jan 2015
BFP on 5/13/15 DD born 1/24/16 TTC #2 - Jun 2017 BFP on 8/24/17
Yes I definitely think you guys misunderstood me. I was never asking for gifts or even speaking about me on this post I was referring to her question and saying I'm sure she would like gifts and saying some ppl would bring them tho they're not required. Well where I'm from some ppl don't like to show up empty handed and would like to help with whatever even if you say gifts aren't mandatory. " I'm one of those ppl too "
Re: Baby showers for 2nd time moms. Tacky?!
My opinion is: tacky as hell.
Wait wait wait. So you plan on throwing your own shower (your other thread "Baby Shower Discussion"), AND telling people to make sure they bring stuff? Wow.
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
I never once said that I will be telling ppl to bring stuff to my baby shower, though I'm a ftm its expected but I could do for me and mine the spoling isn't a problem. Let's be correct hereWait wait wait. So you plan on throwing your own shower (your other thread "Baby Shower Discussion"), AND telling people to make sure they bring stuff? Wow.
But to each their own!
I wish it wasn't tacky because our first is only a year, so we'll need to buy another crib and doubles of other things.
This past winter we (my husband and I, his friend was the dad) went to a baby shower for a second baby, but it was the first baby for the dad. The dad's mom really wanted to throw a shower for her first grandchild. It was small, immediate family and a few close friends, and in that case I feel like it was ok, and done appropriately.
DD born 1/24/16
TTC #2 - Jun 2017
BFP on 8/24/17
DD born 1/24/16
TTC #2 - Jun 2017
BFP on 8/24/17