All Blue

caitlyn5454 · July 2015

Because I love me some Will Ferrell:

rmj28 · July 2015

misamima · July 2015

misamima · July 2015

taysun · July 2015

rmj28 · July 2015

rmj28 · July 2015

caitlyn5454 · July 2015

taysun · July 2015

BrookeBrown2015 · July 2015

Mother0fDragons said:

brandolph07 said:

Wow. Sorry that I posted. Sorry that I'm incompetent and did not use the search function. Sorry that I am feeling the way that I am feeling. Thanks everyone for all the "support". I obviously misread. This board is supposed to be all about happy feelings. Got it now. And those who warned me, you were right.

This board is NOT all about happy feelings, it's an online forum for discussions. You made a newbie mistake in not searching gender (sex) disappointment and decided to make your first post on a highly controversial subject without knowing who your audience was!!

OP probably had no idea this was such a "highly controversial" subject. I know I didn't. I for one am very surprised and am sure her feelings are not that unusual. Almost every single person in real life asked me when they found out I was pregnant if I wanted it to be a boy or a girl and even now that I have found out it's a boy, people have been asking me if I had wanted it to be a boy or girl. So obviously people have preferences. I personally didn't have a strong preference either way because this is my first one but I know if I were in OP's shoes I would have been disappointed to find out I was having a third boy.

BrookeBrown2015 · July 2015

Oh and if she had searched, she would not have found the horrendous thread from the other day because it got deleted.
And I think maybe the search function doesn't work on some phones? Because I tried to use it the other day to find something else and it didn't work for me.

rmj28 · July 2015

kristen2b · July 2015

SomedayInMyArms said:
@satindawl83 You may have not intended for your post to read the way it did or you just wanted to make a point, but it was still poorly stated. I think the post implied women who have experienced a loss cannot sympathize with women that have not which is anything but true.

I'm usually more of a lurker, but I do post every once and awhile. I have also been active on the board since finding out around 4 weeks. I have to say the girls that have been labeled "mean" are the ones I feel post the most accurate and informative information. They also help keep things humorous. They are also the first to be supportive to ladies going through tough situations (testing fears, losses, family issues, etc.). I do not always post, but I do read most threads and I see how much support and informative information they give each day.

We may not always agree, but since when does disagreement imply people are being "mean". This is a hot topics thread and I think many people tried to warn OP so she would be prepared and also for her to understand why it may be a topic better discussed elsewhere.

hummingbird35 · July 2015

satindawl83 said:

@satindawl83 You may have not intended for your post to read the way it did or you just wanted to make a point, but it was still poorly stated. I think the post implied women who have experienced a loss cannot sympathize with women that have not which is anything but true. I'm usually more of a lurker, but I do post every once and awhile. I have also been active on the board since finding out around 4 weeks. I have to say the girls that have been labeled "mean" are the ones I feel post the most accurate and informative information. They also help keep things humorous. They are also the first to be supportive to ladies going through tough situations (testing fears, losses, family issues, etc.). I do not always post, but I do read most threads and I see how much support and informative information they give each day. We may not always agree, but since when does disagreement imply people are being "mean". This is a hot topics thread and I think many people tried to warn OP so she would be prepared and also for her to understand why it may be a topic better discussed elsewhere.
Thanks for this post. To clarify, my post was meant to underscore how people who haven't experienced a loss, or who may not be able to empathize with a loss, are consistently made to feel like their feelings aren't valid. The term "consider your audience" constantly pops up...it's not a stretch to consider that a forum of pregnant woman is the appropriate audience for a gender disappointment post. My " I guess we need separate boards" was meant to say "well if they can't post here, where do they go." Poorly worded? Possibly, but I get sick of how we can use logic to defend certain situations (50/50 chance of boy or a girl), but it's not logical to think it's okay to post a feeling about pregnancy in a pregnancy board. I wouldn't give anyone the pleasure of calling them mean, nor have I. I just think empathy goes both ways.

(@vegdumpling):

@satindawl83 you're right that empathy goes both ways. It implies a relationship. The thing that bothered me is that OP wanted sympathy but wasn't willing to offer any to the people she was asking it from-- the members of this board who have been active for a long time. She even went as far to say that those who had experienced loss were 'not directly related' to her issue, implying that they are irrelevant. This is a community forum. If you don't want to consider the needs of the community, then don't be a part of it. I realize that this was her first post and she didn't do the suggested lurking, so she can plead ignorance. And I'm sorry, but loss as a topic is more important than fleeting sex disappointment. One has much longer and far-reaching emotional and psychological consequences than the other.

ETA: OP asked how we knew she didn't have losses, etc.-- how about because she said that these issues were not related to her experience of pregnancy.

hplunkett2883 · July 2015

brandolph07 · July 2015

Actually what I said was that other people's issues are unrelated to me. That was not ok with most either. But you must be right.

Clarification- other people cannot attribute their issues directly to me is what I mean.

hplunkett2883 · July 2015

hummingbird35 · July 2015

@brandolph07 it just happened that those other people were the people struggling with loss/ fertility. No one is saying your feelings are invalid. It's just frustrating to have to hash out this discussion again and again when it opens old wounds for some each time. But like I said, you were ignorant of how TB works in this respect, hopefully next time you'll be able to do a quick search! And congrats on your boy! I'm having a boy as well.

brandolph07 · July 2015

Actually some did imply that my feelings are invalid. And I'm not so sure that I am the one who is ignorant. But thanks I think.

hummingbird35 · July 2015

rmj28 · July 2015

caitlyn5454 · July 2015

brandolph07 said:

Actually some did imply that my feelings are invalid. And I'm not so sure that I am the one who is ignorant. But thanks I think.

Nobody said/implied that your feelings are invalid. All anybody said was that it's common, but to be aware that this type of thread does not go over well.

Back to gifs:

rmj28 · July 2015

BostonBaby1 · July 2015

Mean girls? I don't think that my father, the inventor of toaster strudel, would be very happy with that...

Sorry to disappoint, but I don't have Facebook (I am a part of an invitation only online community,) so I'm going to stick around here.

jutondreau · July 2015

VegDumpling said:
I usually don't get that annoyed with repeat posts, but this one is grating on my nerves. Op, you are going to feel how you feel, but I think it is a bit crass to say that the other posters' real and important emotions are 'unrelated' to you. Why would you expect support if you're not even going to think about offering it to people who have an issue 'not directly related' to yours? And for that matter, don't have time to look through posts (there was one just like this a few days ago).Why should they (or anyone) comfort you for feeling disappointed about a healthy baby when you suggest they go 'find a supportive outlet?' Not making sense to me. For your LO's sake I hope your disappointment passes, as I am sure it will quickly (while the pain from some of these women's losses will last a lifetime).

brandolph07 said:

I don't know how to delete it. But I shouldn't have to. I understand what you both are saying and agree that many people do have issues with fertility and I cannot even begin to imagine the struggle they go through. But that's not directly related to me. I hope that they can find a supportive outlet for them to share their feelings since yes, everyone is entitled to have feelings. Once again, I do feel incredibly blessed to be able to have children and by no means does what I am feeling disqualify that.

THIS! You've got to be kidding me that you ask for support and then basically say 'give it to me even if I'm not going to give it back to you'. 'I don't give a ____ what you've been through as it has nothing to do with what I'm going through'.

It's that attitude and the lack of 'USING THE SEARCH FUNCTION' that make these posts more than annoying and heated. So unnecessary.

kmac103 · July 2015

Did y'all know that toaster strudles now have 30% more icing. Intriguing!

rmj28 · July 2015

Edits for repeated gif fails.

And I give up.

nik6499 · July 2015

Now I want toaster strudel, I'll be pretty disappointed if it isn't apple though.... Off to investigate the freezer

Elizabella85 · July 2015

I think we should just appreciate the good things in life...

spottedginger · July 2015

@nik6499 please feel free to share your emotions if you don't have apple strudel. We are here to support you.

fmraglio · July 2015

BrookeBrown2015 said:
Oh and if she had searched, she would not have found the horrendous thread from the other day because it got deleted.
And I think maybe the search function doesn't work on some phones? Because I tried to use it the other day to find something else and it didn't work for me.

Even if she didn't find the thread from the other day there are multiple like it.

This isn't an isolated incident people keep making the same threads and then become surprised and upset when they don't turn out any better than the rest. It's ridiculous.

And it USED to not work on some phones but they fixed all that in the update so either you weren't looking in the right spot or you meant a long time ago when you said the other day.
It should be working now if you try again.

adecembermom2015 · July 2015

ealiska · July 2015

I read this whole thing and I can still only think about the amazing spinach and mozzarella ravioli I ate for dinner.

kristen2b · July 2015

magburt said:

Please tell me that's really yours!!

adecembermom2015 · July 2015

kristen2b said:

magburt said:
Please tell me that's really yours!!

caitlyn5454 · July 2015

adecembermom2015 · July 2015

apdunston said:
You know what's funny, I guarantee you a bunch of people on here aren't even pregnant. They can't be. Nobody pregnant has the time or energy to bash a person or procure negative energy. If OP wants to discuss her feelings and exercise her 1st amendment right then so be it. If you don't like it, move on. But to consistently move from thread to thread dispelling negativity, I feel bad for your SO and your "child." Some of y'all need to get a life, chill with the drama, and be a positive influence for your child. God bless!!

Wow. Just wow on that comment.

rmj28 · July 2015

Marchmellow2 · July 2015

apdunston said:
You know what's funny, I guarantee you a bunch of people on here aren't even pregnant. They can't be. Nobody pregnant has the time or energy to bash a person or procure negative energy. If OP wants to discuss her feelings and exercise her 1st amendment right then so be it. If you don't like it, move on. But to consistently move from thread to thread dispelling negativity, I feel bad for your SO and your "child." Some of y'all need to get a life, chill with the drama, and be a positive influence for your child. God bless!!

caitlyn5454 · July 2015

It's called the second trimester burst of energy, yo. That's how.

ETA: Actually, I don't even care if I get a warning for this.

How fucking dare you come onto this board and accuse women of being fake pregnant?! SO MANY of us have suffered miscarriages, and have fertility issues. If you want to go on and on about how being sick and tired to DEATH of all the fucking "sex disappointment" threads we have to deal with on a weekly basis is us being mean and bitchy, that's fine. Give it all you got. But the fact that you would say that, and use quotations around child? I hope to God I don't know you in real life, because honestly, for someone to accuse another women of faking a pregnancy is just the lowest of the goddamn lowest and I really hope nobody I know in real life would be that pathetic.

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