- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Infertility
wannabeamother
member
re-intro. MIA last few months (loss mentioned)
wannabeamother
member
in Infertility
So I am 24 and MH is 27 we have been ttc for almost 2yrs. & married for 3. We started ttc September 2013 and it has not been smooth sailing. We were both totally clueless to infertility when we first started ttc back when it was "fun". We were 9 months into it when my obgyn prescribed me clomid.... which ik was ignorant on her part since she didn't what our issue was. But anyways after the 3 cycles on clomid failed she referred us to my RE. We did a round of 150mg of clomid and when that failed we did an HSG and my found that my tubes were wide open so then we started with our first iui.... we did a total of 6 iui's... Some with clomid and then onto follistim. With our 5th iui I did get a BFP and I literally dropped to my knees with tears of happiness! We went in for a beta and my number was good! So then two days later they wanted to just make sure my number was rising... it actually dropped and I had a biochemical pregnancy. Such a sick joke... I was pregnant for like 2 weeks and then I just wasn't. We took a month off and then went onto our 6th iui which failed so then to ivf we went. We were both positive and hopeful and obviously cautious. Day of ER they got 12 eggs out with 11 of them mature. We did ICSI. We were so happy to have 11 eggs especially thinking that we would be able to freeze the leftovers.I got a call from the lab and they informed us that 8 eggs had fertilized normally and they were looking great. Then the day of the ET we were informed that only 2 eggs were viable and 1 of the 2 eggs weren't looking good.... we did AH and the transfer went smoothly. And then we waited and waited and then I started to bleed.... I did the beta and got a big fat bfn.... ivf had failed, talk about depression... we went in for a meeting a couple weeks after the news to meet with our RE and got the news that I have crappy eggs... (he didn't phrase it like that). So now I'm lost with crappy eggs and totally don't know what our next move is going to be. We can either have someone donate an egg to us which then could be fertilized with MH sperm or we could use a donated fertilized embryo from someone or we can adopt. Our first choice would be to have a donated egg fertilized with MH sperm but I'm just having a difficult time swallowing the fact that it won't be my egg/genetics. ... and I'm scared it won't work plus I would never ask someone to donate an egg.... so what to do????
I just feel that being back here and active will help me because no one else understands these struggles we all are facing.
I just feel that being back here and active will help me because no one else understands these struggles we all are facing.
Re: re-intro. MIA last few months (loss mentioned)
What would be your preference for an egg donor? Someone you know or someone you don't? We've been super open about our struggles, and a close friend of mine is currently pregnant with her 2nd (and most likely last) child. Knowing what we've been through and the possibility that my uterus is crap (we don't know about the eggs), she offered to be our surrogate should we end up having to go there. Two other friends have offered too (it just wouldn't work for geographical/health insurance/family law reasons). I know an old friend was supposed to donate her eggs to her friend as she was in a situation sinilar to yours. Maybe I just really have awesome selfless friends, but my feeling is that when people know and are able to appreciate what you're going through, they may be willing to just offer. But that's assuming you'd be okay with the donor being someone in your close circle who may have contacts with the child.
Before that offer, my plan F (let's face it, we're way beyond plan B here) was to go directly to adoption (by early next year). However, that's changed the game for me now.
But let's face it, none of these decisions are easy to make. Ultimately, no matter what the genetic information of the child going to be, you'll love them, and that's all that matters. Best of luck in your decision making!
I do work at a daycare. .. stupid I know... I think it adds to my sadness but it really has taught me the love that i can give to any child. But I want to quit but I don't want a new job.. Well actually I would want my next job to be a stay at home mom but I can't do that until we have a baby.
I was also very closed off to telling people details of our treatments while we were living it, plus it sucks giving people sad news. But now that we have an answer as to why we cannot conceive I just want the whole world to know! Especially if it'll help stop the heart wrenching question of when will you all have kids...
And you all are right no matter what the genetic makeup of our baby he/she will be loved so much!
I hear you on working with kids. I'm a child psychologist, so on top of caring for so many kids, the ones I see all have some sort of problems. That only increases my worries about what could go wrong (I have had two clients who were each from a set of triplets and ended up having autism). And I feel like an absolute fraud telling parents how to raise their kids.
Good luck with the road ahead! And remember that no matter how twisted and long that road is, there will be a child at the end of it!