Why we are waiting to tell the whole world our baby is born...

njteach0414 · July 2015

Due in three days and I have been getting these texts constantly. "No baby yet?" "Please keep me posted" "where is this baby?"

Most annoying thing to me is when people predict the date baby will be born. They keep bringing up the date and for some reason it gets on my nerves. I don't care about dates anymore I just want our baby here.

We don't know the gender and we haven't shared names so I think it makes more people on edge about the big day. I have already told my mom and MIL that we would appreciate them waiting two hours to tell extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins). We then said they can tell others friends and other family a few hours later... I hate to be a control freak about this, because I typically am not... However, I think people get so excited that they forget sometimes to take it in for themselves (myself, my parents and MIL and FIL included).

Lately, my thoughts have Been that this is such a special time, especially for my husband and I. I hate feeling selfish but I have no desire in sharing the first few hours of my child's life with extended family. I want only grandparents, my husband, my siblings and my husband's siblings present on those first few precious hours. My cousin who recently had a child said her mother told everyone so quickly and within an hour after birth, people were flooding in the door. This is exactly what I don't want. There is no need to social media updates, text messages and/or phone calls that quickly after birth.

Does anyone feel the same way or am I being a bit over the top?

bookworm7495 · July 2015

I feel the same way. I had to have a talk with my mom about posting updates and pictures on social media. The day of our gender reveal, she posted the gender and name on fb before the party was even over. I know she is over the moon excited, but these are moments for my husband and I to share first. I told her that she couldn't update any labor updates on fb and that she couldn't post that our LO was here/pictures until after we did. She seemed to think I was crazy, but she said "okay." I'm not one who wants to post my cervical updates on fb, and she just needs to understand that. As much as I love technology, I feel like these kinds of issues didn't exist even 10 years ago.

I say, be clear with what you want before the big day. That way, you can enjoy the moment privately. Good luck!

ChristyM87 · July 2015

I am just glad that none of our family will be there when I deliver. My SIL will visit at home when the baby is a day or two old and my sister will visit the following weekend from out of town. My parents live 500 miles away and we will take the baby to visit them in a few months

ckranda · July 2015

We made sure to tell my mom not to tell anyone or post until after DH did. (She was in the room with us when baby arrived) My dad came up soon after as did my sister and even that was a bit overwhelming. But otherwise I'm happy that our wishes were respected so we could have some family alone time.

Ckorines · July 2015

I may be in the minority but I feel like babies are such a blessing that I wanted to share the moment with my family. My hospital enforces a one hour mommy and daddy time with the baby alone and forbids any other visitors from coming in, immediately after birth. We honored that hour with my husband, daughter and myself and it was heavenly! Aside from that, this baby is something we celebrated with the whole family. Family greeted us immediately after! I'm lucky enough though, to have family that does not overstep their boundaries so maybe that's the difference?

Either way, it's your baby and your life. Just do what feels right. There's no wrong answer here! Xo

pandd10513 · July 2015

DH and I just had this talk last night. We will be telling my mom and his sister when we go to the hospital only because his sister needs to come to our house to dog sit. They know not to say anything to anyone else. We won't be telling anyone else we are in the hospital until after baby is born and we are moved to the mother-baby room. We've also told everyone that once we are home, no one can visit unless DH is home too. We have a Great Dane and I know I won't be able to control him while holding a newborn. Those are our rules and if family can't handle it then we just won't let them in.

Your baby, your house, your rules.

megmansell · July 2015

Not telling anyone until the baby is born. Not allowing any visitors whatsoever at the midwifery. We get to go home four hours after the birth, and I was that time for my husband, the baby and I to get to bond. Will also not be allowing cameras in our house because I don't trust that certain people in our family can keep pictures off social media.

zmombie · July 2015

I'm very personal myself.. With my first it was family and family friends.. Second was family, family friends and a couple friends... This time I wanted just family. (And by family I mean my parents and my kids.. The only family I have down here.) and a family friend came (she's earned the title of aunt. She's my moms friend, I had never met her before I got pregnant with my first, and when I did, she stepped in and threw me a baby shower.. I had a whole life change and lost all my friends in doing so.. So she kindly took on that role of kind of a sister. Anyways.. That's all I wanted there this time. I very much enjoyed having a lot of time alone with my baby. And still do.

wheresilenceismusic · July 2015

I'm right there with you, @megmansell.

oneblessedmess · July 2015

Just start replying "No" to everything.

"No baby yet?"
"No."

"Please keep me posted."
"No."

"Where is this baby?"
"No."

(Kidding... Mostly.

)

cmorden1114 · July 2015

I had my LO yesterday and I felt the same way you did, and I told my mom not to post anything about my labor but she did anyways lol I was a little annoyed about that but as far as people coming after I compleatly changed my mind. I was way excited to show the world this little miricle we made! It's a very personal decision though, so I don't think you're over reacting.

jtenkorang · July 2015

Let me just say I don't think you're over reacting. It's a personal decision and you need to make the right one for you.

As for me, and my husband I want my family and his to feel welcome any time. I usually like to take that first hour for just the new babies, husband and I to bond. But after that I don't mind if I have people in my room all the time. I have c sections so anyone to help me take care of them in the hospital is welcome. I'm also having twins this time so any help with two bundles is a god send. My husband was very nervous with our first and didn't really interact with her much in the hospital. But I think he will be different with these two. He just loves our oldest. It's harder for fathers with newborns I think. They don't interact as much and my hubby is a very hands on person.

but anyways. That's my opinion on the visitors. Sorry I went off on a tangent lol.

lovlee1999 · July 2015

With my first we never told anyone we were going to the hospital. After baby arrived and we decided on a name (a few hours after birth) we told parents and sisters and told them not to tell anyone or post on social media. They respected that and the next day we texted/called close friends. After that we posted on Facebook.
It was our baby, our news, our terms. This time will be a little different as we need in laws to watch 21 month old daughter while we welcome baby boy but we trust them to let us share the news.

chelsea13elyse · July 2015

I feel the same. With my csection last time my husband called everyone while I was still in labor (before We even knew it would end in emergency csection) so that when I had the baby they were all there. I hated it because for one he's one of five so that's ten people right there including their spouses/SO then you add in my sister and mom and his parents it was a madhouse. It irritated me because since I was a csection I saw the baby for 30 seconds while I was upside down and strapped to a table then I had to go to recovery and baby and DH went to the nursery. So EVERYONE got to see my son in the nursery while I sat for an hour and my epidural wore off. Then when I came out of my recovery I was exhausted and just wanted to spend time with my husband and son and all of DHs siblings got butthurt cause they had been waiting to hold the baby and I had the nurse send their asses home. This time around I will most likely be a csection again (we have a date scheduled and if I don't go on my own by then I will be a RCS) and I told DH not to even tell them all the date. This time it will be my mom and twin sister in the hospital and my in laws will have our son. Then they will bring our son and everyone else still has to wait until we give them the go ahead because we want to spend some time as a family before everyone bombards us again.

Want a personalized experience?

Why we are waiting to tell the whole world our baby is born...

Re: Why we are waiting to tell the whole world our baby is born...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards