Such a good question! We are still struggling to find the answer to that - now on our 2ww from our 4th IUI. I'm for sure no expert but we find it nice to get out of the house and just go for a fancy dinner and maybe a movie if there's something good on. Just doing something outside of the house and having a brief moment away from "fertility" speak helps for us. I've been finding it still super hard though!
I find it especially hard because 1) you are not creating a child the "old fashioned way"-- even though ivf in its own right is a very intimate experience 2) my RE has sex off the table from my transfer to HB, not to mention before the 3-5 days my husband has to abstain before retrieval. Not that sex is the only aspect of romance,
We have been having a weekly date night, and I have been trying to do cute fun things like leave notes for him and have breakfast in bed together, but it is really tough.
It's tough on me too. We try to plan daytime activities because of the shots at night and I'm usually tired and go to sleep right after. We make agreements that on date time we don't talk about IVF treatments.
Eh. Maybe we're not romantics, but we kind of just look at it like a time when the romance won't be alive. It's all told less than a month. I'm crabby anyway. It's not sexy to give somebody a shot. In the scope of our greater lives, a couple months of non-romance doesn't matter.
Plus, like, seriously, the romance has never been more dead in my relationship than the latter part of my pregnancy. This is good practice
Me: 41, DH 38, Diagnosis DOR
Started TTC 12/2013
First Trip to RE: 11/2014
IVF Round 1: 2/2014 - BFP
DD Born 11/9/2014
TTC a Sibling Started 5/2015
First IVF Round 8/15 - BFN
Taking a break to go on vacation + enjoy the holidays before FET and/or another IVF round in 2016!
I'm not currently in a cycle as of now but the romance factor was def hard for us as well when we underwent iui's and ivf especially since they basically tell you when and when not to have sex, and for me I just felt so full and everything just hurt. But like pp said just getting out of the house and going on dates or hanging with friends is always helpful and remember it's the little things like hand holding, random kisses and just having a good ol laugh together! Best of luck!
Re: Keeping the Romance Alive