Body Image........ =(

daisymomof3 · July 2015

Back in May there was a thread about weight and some of you ladies said you've never felt better about your body while others felt gross. How is everyone feeling now?

I still feel gross. Without making this into a book, I have struggled daily with weight since puberty (4th grade). I've had to exercise A LOT and eat clean just to stay between a size 14-16. I weighed myself daily to keep it in check.

I had been diagnosed with PCOS and joined a diet support group that was changing my food choices to more anti-inflammatory/less hormones. I felt better than ever and got pregnant! I was thrilled.

Now I just feel awful when I look in the mirror. My once curvy waist is disappearing and my belly is almost parallel with my boobs. I remind myself of the miracle, but I still feel awful. I've gained 1 lb. How am I going to feel 15 lbs from now?

Anyone else struggled/struggling? What did you do/did you do to help?

Snoopylovesbelle · July 2015

I felt this way in my first pregnancy. I just felt like I looked gross until I had a real pregnancy belly. When you have a belly that sticks out and can feel your baby you may not feel so icky. I'm struggling this time around too because I weigh more than I did last time and was really struggling with my weight before I got pregnant.
I've always struggled a a recently found out I have PCOS this year as well. It explained why I was gaining so much weight and couldn't lose it.

It will get better try to focus on what you do like about how you look.

TRA0816 · July 2015

I don't have pcos but I've gained 12 lbs and I'm only 15 weeks. I have been using Myfitnesspal to track my food and I've managed to lose 2 lbs. I still feel gross and mainly just fat.....

shaybe90 · July 2015

I'm feeling pretty gross. I have worse acne than I've ever had before!

emililyha · July 2015

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one who, despite gaining 0 pounds, feels extra self conscious about my changing body shape. I haven't found much that makes me feel better below my neck so I focus on my face. When I put makeup on and do my hair I feel a little better about myself. I mostly just cover up what I feel is a flabby belly not yet baby belly. I can't wait until it feels more like a baby- I'm hopeful that will make me feel better about my body.

claireloSC · July 2015

I am totally also super bloated and look like I ate too much, despite not having gained weight yet. Wearing maternity clothes that help accentuate the bump helps me feel less fat and more pregnant.

to all.

LauraFi · July 2015

I'm a first time mom but I think that is just the stage of pregnancy we are at. Our figure is changing but doesn't quite look like a baby bump yet unfortunately. I'm hoping that once I have a nice baby bump and can feel baby moving I will really feel pregnant rather than plump.

mamaksweez · July 2015

I'm a STM, and I totally hear you! My face looks like I just hit puberty and I'm totally in the "looks like I just ate thanksgiving dinner, not yet pregnant " stage. Most of us will probably be in this stage until 18-20+ weeks, so I suggest that you find a way to cope for the next month or so. (Like a PP said, she wears maternity clothes to make her feel more pregnant.)

When I was pregnant with my first, I wrote this blog about being barely pregnant in a world obsessed with skinny. Check it out if you think it will help, if not just ignore it.
https://myrealuncensoredlife.blogspot.com/2014/01/living-in-society-obsessed-with-skinny.html?m=1

Paige6410 · July 2015

I feel gross.
I've had issues with food and body image since I was 14, but it was really bad within the last 2 years. I would fast for 4 days out of the week. Now, going back to eating 3 meals a day, I've been packing on the pounds.
I keep telling myself that it's temporary and that I should just be happy that we are having another baby, but some days are harder than others.

emililyha · July 2015

Thank you for sharing that @mamaksweez

Snoopylovesbelle · July 2015

claireloSC said:
I am totally also super bloated and look like I ate too much, despite not having gained weight yet. Wearing maternity clothes that help accentuate the bump helps me feel less fat and more pregnant. to all.

I second this! I've been wearing maternity clothes and it makes my blump feel less Awkward

arwen88evenstar · July 2015

It is nice to hear that I'm not alone in feeling gross. This is my first pregnancy and I have always battled weight issues. I've been so sick that I've actually lost weight, but am bloated anyway. My stomach is so sensitive that wearing anything restrictive is painful and nothing fits right. I'm looking forward to getting past this stage.

CaraBoonie · July 2015

I haven't gained any weight, but I'm a bloaty mushy mess and I definitely feel gross! I have about two flowy dresses that don't touch my belly that I feel comfortable wearing, since it just looks like I gained weight, not that I'm pregnant. I'm confident I'll feel much better and love having an obvious baby bump (at least I hope I will, haha), but this intermediate stage is not fun or good for your ego! I just keep telling myself it's not about me, as long as baby is healthy in there, but it's definitely not easy when you don't feel like you look like yourself. I know other ladies (and my husband, lol) love the boob growth too, but as somebody who has always had smaller breasts and enjoyed them that way, whenever I pass a mirror naked I also freak out about my boobs. I'm sure somebody else would say they're awesome now, but it just doesn't feel like me which I think is the biggest issue for me...

SummerOH · July 2015

Gross here, too. Even when I get a bump, I just feel mushy and chubby when pregnant. I had eating disorders in my teens and the thoughts rear their ugly heads to this day. I have to really watch what I eat and run most days just to maintain when not pregnant, which I haven't been able to do. I've only gained 4 pounds, totally reasonable for first tri, but I'm really hard on myself about it. I'm worried I'm going to blow up and have a hard time losing weight when the baby is here. Logically, I know this is stupid to think about, especially as a PGAL girl, but I can't help it.

SDEsp · July 2015

I feel gross, but constantly try to remind myself to stay positive. I managed to lose 60 lbs over the past 2 years (I've always been overweight) after having a miscarriage and getting depressed, I gained 15 lbs and got pregnant again without losing the access weight. In addition to the 15 lbs I've gained 10 lbs so far and I'm only 14 weeks! Makes me SO nervous, and I went from a size 4/6, to a size 10/12 again SO FAST. I got very wide and almost don't recognize my new body. It's such a struggle, but I know I'm doing everything I can to try and maintain without going overboard. Back to the gym and diet hardcore when the baby arrives!!

Hrc724 · July 2015

I've gained 1.5 pounds and I'm 13 weeks, I'm 3 years out from gastric bypass and losing 165 pounds and I'm struggling with gaining. But even though I've only gained 1.5, my pants don't fit and that is freaking me out.

mamaksweez · July 2015

SummerOH said:
Gross here, too. Even when I get a bump, I just feel mushy and chubby when pregnant. I had eating disorders in my teens and the thoughts rear their ugly heads to this day. I have to really watch what I eat and run most days just to maintain when not pregnant, which I haven't been able to do. I've only gained 4 pounds, totally reasonable for first tri, but I'm really hard on myself about it. I'm worried I'm going to blow up and have a hard time losing weight when the baby is here. Logically, I know this is stupid to think about, especially as a PGAL girl, but I can't help it.

I'm not sure if you're a FTM or not, but I was really concerned about losing the weight when I was pregnant with my first. Basically when you give birth, you lose like 15lbs. Baby is like 8lbs, plus the placenta, etc... I was back to pre-baby weight by my 6wk postpartum check and was definitely not working out or doing anything to try to lose weight (because I was too busy being a FTM).

JandJ62914 · July 2015

I so hear you. I have to eat well and workout 4-5 days a week just to maintain my weight which is always 10-15 pounds more than it should be. I'm 15 weeks and have gained 3 pounds so far... I'm sure it would be more if I wasn't so active. Right now I feel gross. Nothing fits and I just look like I've gained weight. I'm looking forward to having a round, clearly pregnant belly!! And to start feeling baby move.

mollyj931 · July 2015

This stage sucks. I just feel bloated and my face looks so bad this time around with acne. Yuck
I agree to try out some maternity clothes. Pretty soon your belly will look actually pregnant and I have always found I can get away wearing clothes I wouldn't wear not pregnant.

SummerOH · July 2015

mamaksweez said:

SummerOH said:
Gross here, too. Even when I get a bump, I just feel mushy and chubby when pregnant. I had eating disorders in my teens and the thoughts rear their ugly heads to this day. I have to really watch what I eat and run most days just to maintain when not pregnant, which I haven't been able to do. I've only gained 4 pounds, totally reasonable for first tri, but I'm really hard on myself about it. I'm worried I'm going to blow up and have a hard time losing weight when the baby is here. Logically, I know this is stupid to think about, especially as a PGAL girl, but I can't help it.
I'm not sure if you're a FTM or not, but I was really concerned about losing the weight when I was pregnant with my first. Basically when you give birth, you lose like 15lbs. Baby is like 8lbs, plus the placenta, etc... I was back to pre-baby weight by my 6wk postpartum check and was definitely not working out or doing anything to try to lose weight (because I was too busy being a FTM).

Third timer. The weight melted off by 6 weeks PP with DD, but 10-15 pounds hung around for a year until I cracked down on eating and working out after DS (and I only gained 25 to begin with!). BF both of them, too, which is supposed to help. It was mostly because DS didn't STTN til 10 months and I had a very stressful job, so I was exhausted and not eating as well as I could've. My job is way less stressful now, so hopefully that will help. It's just really hard to keep weight off, let alone lose it, in your early to mid 30s. Oh how I miss my 20s metabolism!

jem8407 · July 2015

Alright girls, ya'll are allowed to feel however you want but it saddens me to hear how icky most are feeling. I have been there too but now am mostly embracing it. I am 14w6d based on ovulation (PGAL here) and have a small, round thing, coupled with bloat and tummy fluff.
Like some of you, I have had PCOS since I was 16 (now 30) and have struggled with body image. I am generally a size 6 with some nice curves which takes additional maintenance, well eating, and loads of exercise.
I know it is tough to just sit back and let things happen but we are doing something so amazing. Let's not waste our time being hard on ourselves (haven't we done that enough over time?) and instead cherish our changing bodies and know that in a few short weeks we will look seriously pregnant

The physical helpers for me have been the Bella band (I pull it over the stomach to conceal the extra fluff) and finding clothes that I feel good in (one day may be snug and some days may be loose).

mommachanner · July 2015

While I try not to feel gross-I certainly do some days. It's all the changes. I have PCOS and have always had a larger mid-section which I have been self conscious about. So this whole bump thing, while amazing and beautiful I have this fear that it will more like a doughnut around my waist than a cute bump. That's because when I was heavier I carried all my weight there-thank you PCOS. I lost 130 lbs and have maintained that weight loss (give or take a 5-10lbs) for a long time. This has been hard work! While I haven't necessarily gained weight so far (i'm 14 weeks) my body is really changing. Like hello hips? Please stop expanding. Just like you @JandJ62914 I have to eat healthy and workout to maintain my weight which is still considered "overweight". The struggle is real. @Hrc724 YES about the pants not fitting. This is the worst part for me too! It brings me back to days in high school going shopping when there were not nearly as many cute plus size stores/clothing options and trying pants on that never fit right! @CaraBoonie I hear you on the boobs thing! I walk by a mirror and I am shocked at how NOT awesome it is to all of a sudden be a bigger size.

when I am getting particularly uncomfortable with some body part or change I read about what is happening at this week in the baby's development. Helps me focus more on baby growth and less on my body growth. I also do something active-that has always made me feel better. And lastly I read all of your lovely posts-it's not only funny (before it gets shut down) but it reminds me I am not the only one in the world feeling the way I am.

TVL25 · July 2015

Agree with the feeling icky comments...I try to get ready every day regardless of how I'm feeling (which is rough some mornings but it does help-even doing my hair and makeup to sit in whatever is comfiest) pregnancy has been different for me each time with weight. I didn't know I was pregnant with my first (before the show was on and I don't need comments) and ended up weighing 98lbs after delivery so the first time around was "great" and I didn't have to think about losing the weight and such...with my second I knew it was going to be different and that was an unlikely outcome so I was ready to embrace the weight-until I wasn't the typical cute belly...I looked like I had a cardboard box in my shirt! I felt very square and was annoyed nothing fit right. I reminded myself that it wasn't "me", it was the baby and that the weight and changes in my body were to accommodate them. I was 10lbs lighter than my prebaby weight with him in 4weeks, but my body had definitely shifted! 3.5months after that delivery, I was pregnant again and felt like a house because of how my body shifted and I just felt "bigger". I was definitely largest with my 3d son and I did have to work harder to bring the weight number down. I still was not happy with the way I looked before getting pregnant this time, but I'm going to be 30 this year and I know my body will be changing from things other than pregnancy. At this point in my life, I just try to remind myself it's not about how I look, it's about the Quality of my life and how I am there for my children. Cliche I'm sure, but it's true. If I don't like the way I'm feeling, I'll do the best I can to try and change my habits but I'm not going to put anymore energy into focusing on how to be what I used* to think I should be.

nickicb7 · July 2015

Also feel gross. I had an eating disorder years ago and unfortunately the mentality and control that comes with it never goes away. I safely lost 75lbs 10 years ago and have kept it off successfully, so knowing my body is gaining weight (7lbs by 13 weeks), and not being able to control that is really mentally hard. My husband has been really good about it, very supportive. I cried yesterday because most of my jeans don't fit anymore, and I naively thought I'd get to like 4 months before that happened. I feel gross and then my mom went and told me that I look pregnant! Thanks mom!

It's hard because the rational part of my brain, knows it's all for the baby, and that since I'm mostly healthy, the baby weight should come off. But the disorder and control part seems to win more days than not.

TVL25 · July 2015

Agree @nickicb7 I also suffered from an eating disorder and it is still a daily battle. Though I am much healthier than I was 10 years ago, it never fully goes away. As I've said before, focusing on the Quality of my life, especially now having children, really helps! You can only tell yourself "it's what's best for the baby" so many times. After gaining and losing with my second son, I found I wasn't obsessing as much as I thought I would due to being so busy with the kids. I know rough is an understatement, but if you find yourself going back down that path, talk to anyone you can, especially your SO!

nickicb7 · July 2015

@TVL25 thank you so much for your support! It's nice to relate to someone in a similar position and great to hear that it is possible to overcome.

TVL25 · July 2015

I strongly feel it will always be there, but it is possible to move forward! Therapy helped immensely!! I was in denial and against going but thankfully, family knew better for me. Stay strong! I promise the changes will be worth it and that you will find healthy ways to take the weight off after baby

kducharme · July 2015

Yes everything about this! I'm a STM and gained 65 pounds with my first pregnancy! I worked my ass off to lose the weight and am now about 40 lbs below pre pregnancy weight and the smallest size I have been in my entire life. Although I have not gained any weight yet I still feel gross as I watch my body change, eventhough no one else has really been able to tell. I am trying desperately not to gain all of that weight back and it definitely doesnt help that I can't stop eating and craving junk food!

Hang in there mommas this stage is always the worst!

ChipMonster · July 2015

I used to be a size 6 with some work. When I got pregnant with DS, I had just gotten married and was probably in one of the best shapes I ever was. I ended up with SPD probably 6 weeks into my pregnancy. It was so bad that walking was so painful. I ate like crap, not all the time but way too often for someone that could barely move. I ended up gaining over 60lbs. I am so ashamed to admit it! After the baby, I lost 30lbs but still needed about another 30 to go before I could feel good again. Then I got pregnant. I feel huge. Nothing fits me. Going shopping is depressing. I went to the beach with DH last weekend and I just felt so self-conscious. He tells me it's ok, you're pregnant, but my thighs and arms aren't pregnant! I'd be ok if it was just some pudge around my stomach but my whole body has expanded. I have only gained between 1-4lbs depending on the day and I am 13w3d. I'm really hoping to not gain too much this time around.

@SummerOH I've heard that some people can't lose the last 5-15lbs (or whatever amount it is) while breastfeeding and it is only when they stop that they lose that weight. I am still breastfeeding DS too. I think it helps initially but not continually. I wish it did!!

Blueyedsky · July 2015

I've never been technically "overweight", but I've always been taller and curvier than girls around me. While I haven't gained any weight yet thanks to the nausea, I still feel pretty self conscious about how I look right now. I think when i actually get a preg go belly I'll feel cute though! Working out always makes me feel better about myself even if I'm not in the losing weight mindset.

ljalmeida · July 2015

Oh girl You are so not alone in this. I have also gained only 1 lb yet somehow it looks like I have gained 15. How is that even possible?! Also just like shaybe90 I have horrible acne, which is just insane because I've never had skin problems ever! I found a skin care regime that is helping and makes me feel better about that, but no amount of dressing up, wearing maternity clothes, exercise, or makeup has me feeling awesome about myself at the moment. I just try to keep telling myself that this will all be SO worth it, and DH is still trying to get in my pants non-stop so I must not be as hideous as I feel

)

Emott13 · July 2015

I'm so sorry that you ladies are feeling this way. I totally thought I would CUZ I've had body image issues since before I knew what they were. (Lots of mental issues, me.) Pregnancy is the first time I have ever not had a worry about how I look because despite the bloating and pains and m/s and acne I just feel awesome. I'm havin' a BABY! I also shaved my head and feel totally BAMF so if you are struggling do that. Lol DD loves to pull up my shirt and play drums on my bloated/cubby tummy and it doesn't even bother me.
I hope that this post doesn't come off as insensitive, because I totally don't mean to be like "Nyah Nyah I feel sexy" but I want to encourage you all to embrace your body! It can be so hard when you've struggled your whole life, I know, but there is so much joy in pregnancy try to focus on that. And like I said, all else fails, pull out some punk earrings and shave your head and wait and see what that does for your self esteem haha

ChipMonster · July 2015

@Emott13 I shaved my head at 13. Plus I was totally into grunge. Yup, I looked like a boy!
I'm happy that you finally found your self confidence! Rock it!!

Beverly0628 · July 2015

I also am struggling a bit with the weight thing and body changes. I'm 16 weeks and have only gained about 3 lbs so far. I really started to look pregnant this week. My belly is actually really hard and round now. It seems pretty big to me already and I'm only 4 months along. I'm A FTM so it freaks me out that I'll probably get much much bigger and, more than likely, gain much more weight. I have some obesity and diabetes in my family, and grew up with a mother that, sadly, always vocally hated her body and refused family pictures. I have always been very adamant about healthy eating and exercise so that I don't ever have to deal with obesity or have bad feelings about my body. If I'm going to be real, I'm absolutely terrified of weight gain and stretch marks, and it's been a little difficult to embrace the changes. I feel a little guilty and shallow sometimes to be worried about it so much. I just try to think about the baby growing inside of me and what a miracle it all is. I'm making a person! When I get my mind right and focus on that, the potential weight gain and all the change in my body doesn't seem so scary.

carrcco · July 2015

After working really hard to lose weight, it feels very strange to be positive about weight gain. I have already gained 5 lbs at 12w 1d - I didn't have much morning sickness and *craved* carbs and fries for the last 5 weeks. It's hard seeing the number go back up after I worked so hard to get them down, but I just try to remember that right now my priority is not fitting into a certain outfit but growing a healthy baby. Trying to plan healthy meals (now that I want something other than pizza) has made me feel much better, and so has a Bella band.

I know not everyone here feels their most beautiful right now - but keep your heads up remember all the other amazing stuff your body is doing now!

daisymomof3 · July 2015

Thank you so much to everyone that commented!! You've no idea how much that helps me. The only person I confided my feelings in pretty much told me I was vain, crazy, and should think about people who can't have kids. Talk about a guilt trip! I have been feeling awful about these feelings this week and ashamed of how I felt. It helps knowing many feel the same.

I think the control factor is big. I have always kept in control of my body. I haven't had a coke in 12 years. I didn't eat anything made with white flour or prepackaged food since college. My family has a lot of heart disease and diabetes. Many are over 300 lbs. I am no where near there, but I just want to stay that way of that makes sense. I just want to make sure I stay healthy for my little one.

You all are wonderful! Thanks.

daisymomof3 · July 2015

mamaksweez said:
I'm a STM, and I totally hear you! My face looks like I just hit puberty and I'm totally in the "looks like I just ate thanksgiving dinner, not yet pregnant " stage. Most of us will probably be in this stage until 18-20+ weeks, so I suggest that you find a way to cope for the next month or so. (Like a PP said, she wears maternity clothes to make her feel more pregnant.)

When I was pregnant with my first, I wrote this blog about being barely pregnant in a world obsessed with skinny. Check it out if you think it will help, if not just ignore it.
https://myrealuncensoredlife.blogspot.com/2014/01/living-in-society-obsessed-with-skinny.html?m=1

Thank you for sharing this!!! Fantastic.

mstefanovic · July 2015

I feel like I look awful. I finally went maternity clothes shopping today, and then I got a fresh mani/pedi (with 5-free zoya polish) and that made me feel a little better. Having clothes that fit properly makes a difference. Now I have to get over how I look without the clothes.

makeshifwings · July 2015

You are definitely not alone. I lost 100 lbs last year, and watching my body go the opposite direction is really hard. I know it'll be better when I look obviously pregnant. I feel like right now I'm in that in between stage where people think I might be but don't want to ask. I have loose skin on my belly from losing the weight, and I feel like it makes me look more fat than pregnant at this point. Just gotta hold on for that pop! We'll all feel better then I think.

BabyBump2 · July 2015

I'm 13w and have gained about 4-5 pounds. And I have no bump. So now I just look...bigger than I was before. I feel the same way...once I have a bump or something to show I'm pregnant...I won't feel so bad. Right now I'm just bloated and big.

Emott13 · July 2015

@ChipMonster I am definitely accidentally embracing the grunge look because the only things that fit me properly right now are my band t-shirts and my bigger (baggier) jeans. DH keeps joking that he's going to start calling me "Bruce" (as in, I'm going the opposite direction of Bruce-to-Caitlyn Jenner). Oh well, rock on!

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