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STM - Advice/Shared experience with toddler

robertinrobertin member
in January 2016 Moms
So, I've got a DD who is a year and a half. I would say within the last two weeks I've noticed a change in her behavior. If she's holding something or doing something that she shouldn't be and we take away the item or tell her no, we get a little temper tantrum or a whining fit. My question is - is this normal for her age? I've been rationalizing in my head that she's at the age where she understands that we don't want her to do something but she wants to do it so she gets angry. If that's what it is, I can totally deal with it - maybe terrible twos starting early?! If this is atypical, I need to figure out what we're doing wrong!

Thanks, ladies. You all have been very helpful and supportive with other posts/questions I've had and I'd like you to know that it's much appreciated!
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Re: STM - Advice/Shared experience with toddler

  • aphilli8aphilli8 member
    My daughter is 19 months and has been having tantrums for months now. Totally normal.

    The past few weeks she's started throwing herself on the floor and covering her hand with her mouth when we tell her no -_-

    Everybody says it's a phase. That lasts years.... Good luck! ;)
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  • mamaksweezmamaksweez member
    Oh jeez, my dd will be 19mo when baby comes - I guess that "stage" will be fun to look forward to with a newborn... :(
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  • steph_pegasussteph_pegasus member
    I think that sounds normal.

    My DD usually has a fairly calm response to us taking things away from her that she shouldn't touch but we usually try to use the diversion method and distract her with something else - book, toy, game etc.
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  • Paige6410Paige6410 member
    Totally normal and will subside around age 4.
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  • RunnerMegRunnerMeg member
    Our son turned 2 in May, your DDs behavior sounds very normal. Our DS is generally laid back, but he has random things that will set him off.
    BFP #1 - EDD 4/18/13 | DS born 5/1/13. 9 lbs. 14 oz., 22 inches long.

    BFP #2 - EDD 1/25/16
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  • alice2Bcheshirealice2Bcheshire member
    Normal. But every kiddo is different. I have one who totally loses his shit if he doesn't get exactly his way, even over the littlest things. And I have one who is pretty laid back and can be easily redirected.
    BFP #1 10/27/2009 ~ DS1 ~ BIRTHday 7/16/2010 ~ med-free Bradley birth @ 40w5d
    BFP #2 1/22/2012 ~ DS2 & DD ~ BIRTHday 9/13/2012 ~ unplanned C-section @ 38w1d
    BFP #3 5/4/2015 ~ EDD 1/7/2016
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  • MamaGooGooMamaGooGoo member
    I have a 19 month old daughter. This is totally normal. Don't give in to her tantrums! The discipline and consistency is super important right now, especially with another one coming...
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  • DaphneMoon1DaphneMoon1 member
    Paige6410 said:

    Totally normal and will subside around age 4.

    This. My DS is almost 3. Tantrums are a normal part of development. I try to remind myself that when I get really frustrated with him.

    I've read a lot about how to deal with them. Not giving in and not giving too much attention during the tantrum is key. But even if you do everything right, children will still have them. 100% normal. They are learning boundaries and batteling with control.

    It's easy to get frustrated. It's especially hard when the care giver/parent thinks the child is doing it on purpose, or should have more control. They haven't learned impulse control yet. You'll keep your sanity if you keep reminding yourself that.
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  • ariasbabyblogariasbabyblog member
    Emotions are big, huge things that take time to learn how to deal with. I liken it to our current state of hormones. Does it make sense when we cry because of the puppy commercial? Not really, but it is the response our body produces and until we calm down there isn't much we can do about it. I think it is rather the same with the toddlers. They are frustrated that they are not understood and the only way they currently know how to deal with it is to tantrum. 

    Step back, take a breath, they are not doing it on purpose.
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  • sck601sck601 member
    Very normal. My DD is 2 and there are times where I feel like I've failed as a mom because of her tantrums/attitude. They will grow out of it. You just have to take it day by day

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  • aphilli8aphilli8 member
    DaphneMoon1 said:

    Paige6410 said:



    It's easy to get frustrated. It's especially hard when the care giver/parent thinks the child is doing it on purpose, or should have more control. They haven't learned impulse control yet. You'll keep your sanity if you keep reminding yourself that.

    This is so important. It's really easy to forget this when you hand them the bowl of fruit they asked for and they throw themselves on the ground in a fit. Wtf kid?! I have to remind myself all the time she isn't doing it on purpose, but it does help.
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  • mollyj931mollyj931 member
    Yes to all of this. Frustrating? Yes, but normal.
    Parts of Love and Logic and The Nutured Heart approach have worked for us but some days I just accept its a normal part of development and drink more wine...or now eat more Oreos
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  • kducharmekducharme member
    Yep totally normal and oh so fun to deal with! Ugh! My daughter just turned two and we are still dealing with little tantrums.
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  • weeg14weeg14 member
    Like everyone else said, totally normal. DS is 21 months old and he started about the same time. When he first started having tantrums, I thought because I am his mommy I could just love on him and that would do the trick. Nope, doesn't work. :( I have realized that no amount of cuddling and trying to sooth him works, so we put him in his room (we have a gate that we close, so we can still see him) and allow him to let it out until he calms down. It usually lasts a much shorter time than when we try and calm him down other ways.
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  • ChipMonsterChipMonster member
    DS is 15 months old and just started doing this too but only with certain objects (namely the broom and vacuum)! He will yell when I take them away from him. Thankfully so far, I can redirect him pretty easily.
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  • KaraEpp16KaraEpp16 member
    I'm a FTM but I'm the oldest of four. I saw my mother handle more than a handful of tantrums. Redirection(if possible) and ignoring the behavior is a sure fire way to get it nipped in the bud. We (the four of us) very rarely threw tantrums and if we did it in public -only saw this a few times with the younger ones - she'd leave with us so fast we never knew we were there.


    We were that family walking away from a full shopping cart. 4 kids aged 0-9 is not always a fun grocery shopping experience.

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  • sherks11sherks11 member
    Dd is 15 months and I've seen the beginning phases of this. She will arch her back and basically go limp with her body. So weird but after doing this while trying to put her in a high chair, I just put her down and let her work it out. I'm not ready for full blown tantrums!!!
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