How to address issue at daycare

meggers102 · May 2015

We have recently started taking our 2 LO's (ages 3 and 1) to an in home daycare 1 day a week as I have started some part time work. Last week when I picked them up, my daughter told me that they aren't allowed to suck their thumbs at daycare. They both have done this since they were just a few weeks/months old and my H and I do not have any problem with it (nor does their dentist). Our childcare provider is quite structured (which I really appreciate) but this is their way of comforting themselves, especially being that we have only been there 3 times. Any suggestions on how to address this differing opinion? I don't want the daycare provider to feel like I don't trust her authority but this is a non-issue for us at our house. In fact, sometimes it is encouraged, as it helps them control their emotions and calm down. Thanks!

rspalding001 · May 2015

How did your kids handle the situation? Were they very upset or just grumpy about it? I would be inclined to use the new arrangement to break them of the habit but that's just me. Maybe you can get them some other kind of attachment object to replace the thumb sucking for comfort? If it's important to you that they continue to be allowed to suck their thumbs I'd just tell the day care provider that is your wish. You pay her so she should listen to you. However they will need to break the habit at some point, maybe it's not the worst thing to happen?

bublesmiled · May 2015

I would discuss it with the provider. The real question is how much does the rule bother you and your child - that will guide you on how much action you need to take. As a former thumb sucker, I did it until 2nd grade publicly, my sister did it longer just privately, I would work towards an ending plan for your older one, but the choice is completely yours. It's your child, so your rules. Hopefully, this is a situation the two of you could work out.

CarrieB. · May 2015

I don't see how anyone would be able to tell a 1 year old not to suck their thumb, but it seems perfectly reasonable to tell a 3 year old not to suck their thumb at school or daycare. My 4 year old still sucks her thumb all the time and it drives me crazy.

marijaa333 · June 2015

Having known teenagers and an adult who continued to suck their thumbs well into "inappropriate" years, I have a fear of having my son develop this habit and have been removing his hands from his mouth even at two weeks. So I sympathize with your daycare provider. Having said that, your children are your children and you should do what you feel is best. Can you explain to them (or at least the 3 y.o.) that they can suck their thumbs at home but not at daycare? This may teach them to keep the activity as something private, which could serve them well in the future.

alisonc87 · June 2015

Regardless of whether or not your child is a thumb sucker (I really have no opinion about it, and actually can appreciate parent realizing that it is a self regulation tool), as a child care provider myself (and mom as well) I can imagine the logistics of having multiple children in care, and trying to keep hands that have been in mouths off of toys that everyone uses and off of other children. We remind the children that it can spread germs, and encourage hands out of the mouth. That being said, we would always work with the parent on this and try to provide some sort of compromise. We have had kids use "chewlry" necklaces to chew or suck on, and kept sending to wash their hands each time we saw hands in theirs mouths.

lily_721 · July 2015

My daycare is bink-free once they reach the toddler room. It is allowed for naps only but weened off. My lo is "late in life" bink addict (developed at 18 months). She knows when she goes to school, the bink goes in a cup in her cubby. Personally I think these little people are better behaved for their teachers than for us.

SharonB222 · July 2015

I agree the kids need ways to soothe. What pp said, your children could have an object at daycare for comforting, a blanket, one animal. My DD used her pacifier and my DCP encouraged that (even though I tried to get my DD to attach to an object other than paci - FAIL). My DS doesn't use a paci, or suck his thumb or have an object - [thinking to self:] what the heck is he doing to soothe? At home, I'm his paci, so at DC I think it's his "assigned" bottle of milk. GL!

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