Is it gonna be a struggle?

kmd91 · July 2015

Okay, I'll apologize off the bat that this probably won't really be a beneficial post to anyone but myself. But I would love to hear some opinions from experience.

So, about a month and a half after baby is due, my husband is going to be leaving for about a month and a half. So, for that timeframe it's going to just be me, baby, and our two dogs (who are currently 4 months and 9 months, so a handful). We also have no family in the area, nor do I really have any friends. So basically I predict this being a month and a half of no real adult interaction and absolutely no help from anyone with taking care of anything. I think the thing that stresses me out the most is the no adult interaction factor. As it is my husband works long hours and I take care of everything at home, so I know that how things will be, anyways. But at least when he is here I would get a couple hours of adult time to break things up.

When I first found out about this I felt pretty confident about it, but the more I think about it, the more it stressed me out. I know a lot of it is going to depend on the personality of the baby, but just as a general, am I going to go crazy?

FilbertTree · July 2015

I would seriously recommend that you find some reason to go spend time with other adults. Maybe see if there are mum and baby groups in your area that you could be a part of. Check your local library as a starting point, or ask your paediatrician if they have any suggestions. 6 weeks with a newborn and dogs for company would make me a crazy person.

lulamagoo · July 2015

Agree with @FilbertTree. The library was our happy place at 6 weeks old. I also found a music class that allowed newborns.
If all else fails, go to Target and wander the aisles. Just getting out of the house helps.

VexedMommy · July 2015

I would agree about looking into mother and baby groups, baby wearing groups, mommy & me yoga classes and other types of socialization geared towards new parents. Is there a reason you don't have many friends around now? Perhaps you can start going to classes or joining groups based on your interest now and make a few friends while pregnant that you would like to hang around with or invite to your house after baby arrives.

MoRay05 · July 2015

It will be tough. Make sure to get out of the house a lot by taking walks, go grocery shopping, etc. Maybe try to find a local moms group to hang out with.

kmd91 · July 2015

VexedMommy said:
I would agree about looking into mother and baby groups, baby wearing groups, mommy & me yoga classes and other types of socialization geared towards new parents. Is there a reason you don't have many friends around now? Perhaps you can start going to classes or joining groups based on your interest now and make a few friends while pregnant that you would like to hang around with or invite to your house after baby arrives.

As far as why I don't have friends around now, I'm relatively new to the area and my husband and I share a vehicle (didn't want to buy another here when we are only here for so long and would have to pay a few thousand to ship it to the mainland because the army will only ship 1), and so he drives to work and I'm basically stuck at the house, so it's been hard to make friends.

But, during the time when he is gone I will have full access to our vehicle, so mommy groups that you all are suggesting are a great idea and I should definitely look and see what's around!

FilbertTree · July 2015

If you're military, try and get social with other base wives. A good friend of mine was an Army wife and she had such a fantastic group of ladies around as support when her spouse was away and the kiddos were tiny.

helsbels222 · July 2015

Join a moms group. They may also have recommendations for sitters or some arrangement where one of them can do it because well girl you will need some me time.

VexedMommy · July 2015

Is your DH going to be deployed with his group? @rbradshaw77 I believe is a military wife who gave birth while overseas. I'm not sure where you're stationed (and not asking for that info Stranger Danger Warnings and all that jazz) but she might be able to give you some insight into what's available for army wives on base and separated from their families.

kmd91 · July 2015

FilbertTree said:
If you're military, try and get social with other base wives. A good friend of mine was an Army wife and she had such a fantastic group of ladies around as support when her spouse was away and the kiddos were tiny.

Yeah, it seems that a lot of ladies have better luck with this than me. I've honestly really struggled with making friends. I don't know why, but everyone I reach out to it'll be a we hang out once at best and then nothing comes of it. I don't know if I'm just no fun or what, haha

katiedhunter · July 2015

I know this feeling my husband works away, although he is only gone for two weeks at a time. But at the end of two weeks I'm ready for him to be home, and I have great family support and friends, and a sitter. You are definitely gonna need something. I agree with PP to see about mom groups, that's how I met some of my friends. And I would find a sitter sooner rather than later, even if it's just for an hour or two for you to go and have some time to yourself.

kmd91 · July 2015

VexedMommy said:
Is your DH going to be deployed with his group? @rbradshaw77 I believe is a military wife who gave birth while overseas. I'm not sure where you're stationed (and not asking for that info Stranger Danger Warnings and all that jazz) but she might be able to give you some insight into what's available for army wives on base and separated from their families.

He isn't being deployed, but he will be away doing training, which also means the few "friends" you could say I have (aka his friends) will also be gone with him. And yeah, I do recall her being a military wife and I believe actually answered a few questions I had about military doctors real early on.

Escheffler34 · July 2015

Hi there! Maybe you could join some things they have on base? something like the frg? Bases are usually trying to get people involved in stuff like that, and maybe you could meet some people!

kmd91 · July 2015

Escheffler34 said:
Hi there! Maybe you could join some things they have on base? something like the frg? Bases are usually trying to get people involved in stuff like that, and maybe you could meet some people!

Unfortunately our FRG seems to be just shy of nonexistent. But you're right, getting involved with something on post here would probably really help me out, just in general happiness, but also an outlet from 24/7 mommy mode when little one comes. The only issue that's really been getting in my way is transportation. My husband has our vehicle long and weird hours. So if I found some group that had a meeting time that worked with our schedule, give it a few weeks at best and his schedule will be different and I would no longer have the vehicle. I mean, I guess that's all just an excuse, cause if I found something I really liked, I could drive him and pick him up from work as long as those times don't conflict, but it's always a struggle for us, because he never knows when he will be released. So I have spent hours sitting in the parking lot waiting for him to get off.

Alexis514 · July 2015

You've had awesome suggestions on the adult interaction front, so I'm going to chime in about the dogs. Do you have a good doggie daycare around? I would highly suggest some time at a doggie day care or finiding a dog walker (a pro or a responsible neighborhood kid). Tired puppies are good puppies

Cook3133 · July 2015

Check FB. I am amazed at how many mommy groups there are! If you search in the group section of FB you should be able to find one in your area. Or check a local buy/sell/trade group. I see posts of people looking for social groups all the time!

The library, like pp mentioned, is a great place to start! Or get in contact with family and see if they want to come visit you during that time.

kmd91 · July 2015

Alexis514 said:
You've had awesome suggestions on the adult interaction front, so I'm going to chime in about the dogs. Do you have a good doggie daycare around? I would highly suggest some time at a doggie day care or finiding a dog walker (a pro or a responsible neighborhood kid). Tired puppies are good puppies

This really is a great suggestion. I know as it is the dogs will drive me crazy when they're cooped up for too long. While I don't really want to spend the money on a professional walker or doggie daycare, I think I could spring for someone that's just looking for a little extra pocket money so I can get some peace from the dogs.

kmd91 · July 2015

Cook3133 said:
Check FB. I am amazed at how many mommy groups there are! If you search in the group section of FB you should be able to find one in your area. Or check a local buy/sell/trade group. I see posts of people looking for social groups all the time!

The library, like pp mentioned, is a great place to start! Or get in contact with family and see if they want to come visit you during that time.

I've joined two mommy groups on FB and so far they've proven to be all but dead aside from a few sales posts that rarely get a response. I guess I need to do some digging.

And my dad has talked about coming to visit during that time, so I'm hoping that pans out! I'm not holding my breath, just cause I know that a cheap flight to get here is around $800. But I know he wants to come meet and spend some time with his first grandbaby, so I'm really hoping it pans out.

KeHill08 · July 2015

Could you check at ACS about different mom groups, baby play groups, etc that meet on post? I know I've found a ton of things that I could do that way. Also, they have a Le Leche League here, maybe they have one where you're stationed.

MargaretC5 · July 2015

I think all the PP have great ideas. One other thought, maybe it would be a good time to visit family. Babies that young sleep a lot so traveling is not that bad.
I have a friend who's husband is in the military and every time he is deployed she plays a trip home to see family and catch up with friends.

kmd91 · July 2015

MargaretC5 said:
I think all the PP have great ideas. One other thought, maybe it would be a good time to visit family. Babies that young sleep a lot so traveling is not that bad.
I have a friend who's husband is in the military and every time he is deployed she plays a trip home to see family and catch up with friends.

Yeah, that's a great idea. And I have definitely thought about it, especially since my dad is already talking about coming out and knowing him he would be more than willing to cover the cost of my flight home so I could see everyone rather than just him coming out. My one big concern though is my dogs. I know I'm totally a paranoid pet owner, but the people I would trust to watch them while I would be gone would also be away at that time. It's definitely something to consider, even if a 10 hour flight with the baby does intimidate me, haha.

kmd91 · July 2015

KeHill08 said:
Could you check at ACS about different mom groups, baby play groups, etc that meet on post? I know I've found a ton of things that I could do that way. Also, they have a Le Leche League here, maybe they have one where you're stationed.

I'm not really sure why this never occurred to me, but thank you! I'll definitely look into it

VexedMommy · July 2015

Another thought, could you drive your husband to work and pick him up every once in a while? If you've got stuff to do during the day and he's on base then he could probably hoof it to his favorite lunch spot once or twice a week. Otherwise the vehicle is sitting useless in a parking lot when you could be utilizing it.

Kmohney1 · July 2015

Just a thought...is there a park near you? Maybe start up a doggie play date group, and kill 3 birds with one stone. The park around the corner from me usually has a mommy group, a dog walking group, a women's boot camp, and many more activities going on all the time...our town is SUPER small but you'd be surprised how many people want to do the same things as you!

KeHill08 · July 2015

kmd91 said:

MargaretC5 said:
I think all the PP have great ideas. One other thought, maybe it would be a good time to visit family. Babies that young sleep a lot so traveling is not that bad.
I have a friend who's husband is in the military and every time he is deployed she plays a trip home to see family and catch up with friends.
Yeah, that's a great idea. And I have definitely thought about it, especially since my dad is already talking about coming out and knowing him he would be more than willing to cover the cost of my flight home so I could see everyone rather than just him coming out. My one big concern though is my dogs. I know I'm totally a paranoid pet owner, but the people I would trust to watch them while I would be gone would also be away at that time. It's definitely something to consider, even if a 10 hour flight with the baby does intimidate me, haha.

Just a thought, but you could maybe take a space A flight back. It takes a bit longer but it costs soooo much less! You can also have your dogs fly although I'm not sure how much it costs for them, and if you have a layover you can typically take your dog outside and walk them and let them go to the bathroom. Then you wouldn't have to worry about finding someone to watch them.

kmd91 · July 2015

KeHill08 said:

kmd91 said:

MargaretC5 said:
I think all the PP have great ideas. One other thought, maybe it would be a good time to visit family. Babies that young sleep a lot so traveling is not that bad.
I have a friend who's husband is in the military and every time he is deployed she plays a trip home to see family and catch up with friends.
Yeah, that's a great idea. And I have definitely thought about it, especially since my dad is already talking about coming out and knowing him he would be more than willing to cover the cost of my flight home so I could see everyone rather than just him coming out. My one big concern though is my dogs. I know I'm totally a paranoid pet owner, but the people I would trust to watch them while I would be gone would also be away at that time. It's definitely something to consider, even if a 10 hour flight with the baby does intimidate me, haha.
Just a thought, but you could maybe take a space A flight back. It takes a bit longer but it costs soooo much less! You can also have your dogs fly although I'm not sure how much it costs for them, and if you have a layover you can typically take your dog outside and walk them and let them go to the bathroom. Then you wouldn't have to worry about finding someone to watch them.

Yeah, that thought has crossed my mind, and I've looked into space A a little bit, because the savings would be amazing. I'm not totally knowledgable on how that works, but it would definitely be worth considering. Though, the dogs may not be an option with Hawaii's crazy quarantine policies and such. I'd definitely want to research the specifics of a Hawaiian pet traveling outside of Hawaii and returning to make sure I didn't run into any hiccups.

I'd probably feel really guilty going home, too, though. Just because my husband hasn't been able to visit home since December 2013 and I was home this past November.

kmd91 · July 2015

Kmohney1 said:
Just a thought...is there a park near you? Maybe start up a doggie play date group, and kill 3 birds with one stone. The park around the corner from me usually has a mommy group, a dog walking group, a women's boot camp, and many more activities going on all the time...our town is SUPER small but you'd be surprised how many people want to do the same things as you!

That's really true. I know there are people posting at least once a week asking if anyone else is bringing their dogs to the dog park or dog beach. So I could probably get in on that.

There's also a mommy and me fitness class held at the field right by my house, though I've got a little bit before I can be getting involved in that, but it is definitely something I should try and find details about!

All of these suggestions are great, and honestly make me feel a little dumb for feeling like I have no outlets to make friends, haha. You ladies are the best!

missemmawoodhouse · July 2015

kmd91 said:

FilbertTree said:
If you're military, try and get social with other base wives. A good friend of mine was an Army wife and she had such a fantastic group of ladies around as support when her spouse was away and the kiddos were tiny.
Yeah, it seems that a lot of ladies have better luck with this than me. I've honestly really struggled with making friends. I don't know why, but everyone I reach out to it'll be a we hang out once at best and then nothing comes of it. I don't know if I'm just no fun or what, haha

I don't mean this to sound cruel, but you have to put the effort into new friendships, too. I struggled with this, but then I took the initiative to set up times to hang out instead of waiting for the other person.

Read MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertchse. She really inspired me.

kmd91 · July 2015

missemmawoodhouse said:

kmd91 said:

FilbertTree said:
If you're military, try and get social with other base wives. A good friend of mine was an Army wife and she had such a fantastic group of ladies around as support when her spouse was away and the kiddos were tiny.
Yeah, it seems that a lot of ladies have better luck with this than me. I've honestly really struggled with making friends. I don't know why, but everyone I reach out to it'll be a we hang out once at best and then nothing comes of it. I don't know if I'm just no fun or what, haha
I don't mean this to sound cruel, but you have to put the effort into new friendships, too. I struggled with this, but then I took the initiative to set up times to hang out instead of waiting for the other person.

Read MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertchse. She really inspired me.

Oh no, I completely and totally agree. I guess I probably should've clarified that I usually try a handful of times to set up times to hang out, only for it not to be reciprocated. I suppose I probably could try harder, but I have a tendency to think I'm being annoying and don't want to push too much.

I will definitely look into that book, though!

helsbels222 · July 2015

I totally forgot about the Meet up App. You can find lots of people on there. There is a moms section where people meet up for various activities.

Edited: Spelling is hard. The struggle is real.

kbonel · July 2015

Looks like my DH is deploying beginning of December so I will be in the same boat for about 6 months. All the suggestions here sound great. FRG groups are really good, also smaller groups are important. Depending on the size of the group your DHs CO may have something in mind for keeping his groups' families cohesive while he is gone. My H has told me I am supposed to check in with the other guys families while they are gone to make sure things are going well. Also maybe expressing this to your DH would help? He could introduce you to some people before he leaves. Final thought

let me know if you need someone to talk to. 1 week, 1 month, 6 months, it's all hard.

kmd91 · July 2015

helskos said:
I totally forgot about the Meet up App. You can find lots of people on there. There is a moms section where people meet up for various activities.

Edited: Spelling is hard. The struggle is real.

I just downloaded this app after I started this thread. I've been looking around and I'm really hoping it can be beneficial for me!

kmd91 · July 2015

kbonel said:
Looks like my DH is deploying beginning of December so I will be in the same boat for about 6 months. All the suggestions here sound great. FRG groups are really good, also smaller groups are important. Depending on the size of the group your DHs CO may have something in mind for keeping his groups' families cohesive while he is gone. My H has told me I am supposed to check in with the other guys families while they are gone to make sure things are going well. Also maybe expressing this to your DH would help? He could introduce you to some people before he leaves. Final thought let me know if you need someone to talk to. 1 week, 1 month, 6 months, it's all hard.

That definitely sounds like it will be tough, and I don't envy you one bit. It's good that it sounds like they're trying to make sure all the families have the support they need while their service member is gone! Hopefully that will be beneficial to you, and I know I would like to connect with other families. I probably will talk to my husband about it. I know he already knows full well that I feel like such a loser with no friends here, but it would definitely be good to express my worries about being a no friends loser without even him around, haha. And by all means, the same offer extends to you! I know it's never easy when they're away, and sometimes it's good to just have someone to talk to.

helsbels222 · July 2015

kmd91 said:

helskos said:
I totally forgot about the Meet up App. You can find lots of people on there. There is a moms section where people meet up for various activities.

Edited: Spelling is hard. The struggle is real.
I just downloaded this app after I started this thread. I've been looking around and I'm really hoping it can be beneficial for me!

I hope it is for you too!!

rox7777 · July 2015

VexedMommy said:
Is your DH going to be deployed with his group? @rbradshaw77 I believe is a military wife who gave birth while overseas. I'm not sure where you're stationed (and not asking for that info Stranger Danger Warnings and all that jazz) but she might be able to give you some insight into what's available for army wives on base and separated from their families.

@kmd91 If you're on Facebook, you can type in your army base + mom group or play date and there is sure to be at least one group (probably way more). Also, call your MWR, they usually have access to the info for local mom meet ups and play dates. The army hospital will also hold birthing classes where you can meet other wives due around the same time as you.

As for the one car situation, DH and I are going on 4 years with 1 car. Depending on where you're stationed and for how long, I highly recommend learning the local transport. It's a great way to get some independence. DH and I have worked out a rotating schedule for car use. On days when he has late ins or no PT, I try to take him to work and have a buddy drop him off so that I can run my errands or meet up with friends. I've found that if you make friends with other army wives, car pulling will be an option because there are tons of wives in the same situation as you, hoping for some friends!

Last tip: Even if you're there only a few months, other military wives are a great resource to have. I stay in touch with a lot of women so that if we have to relocate I have the possibility of meeting up with them again or at least getting some advice on the area.

KeHill08 · July 2015

kmd91 said:

KeHill08 said:

kmd91 said:

MargaretC5 said:
I think all the PP have great ideas. One other thought, maybe it would be a good time to visit family. Babies that young sleep a lot so traveling is not that bad.
I have a friend who's husband is in the military and every time he is deployed she plays a trip home to see family and catch up with friends.
Yeah, that's a great idea. And I have definitely thought about it, especially since my dad is already talking about coming out and knowing him he would be more than willing to cover the cost of my flight home so I could see everyone rather than just him coming out. My one big concern though is my dogs. I know I'm totally a paranoid pet owner, but the people I would trust to watch them while I would be gone would also be away at that time. It's definitely something to consider, even if a 10 hour flight with the baby does intimidate me, haha.
Just a thought, but you could maybe take a space A flight back. It takes a bit longer but it costs soooo much less! You can also have your dogs fly although I'm not sure how much it costs for them, and if you have a layover you can typically take your dog outside and walk them and let them go to the bathroom. Then you wouldn't have to worry about finding someone to watch them.
Yeah, that thought has crossed my mind, and I've looked into space A a little bit, because the savings would be amazing. I'm not totally knowledgable on how that works, but it would definitely be worth considering. Though, the dogs may not be an option with Hawaii's crazy quarantine policies and such. I'd definitely want to research the specifics of a Hawaiian pet traveling outside of Hawaii and returning to make sure I didn't run into any hiccups.

I'd probably feel really guilty going home, too, though. Just because my husband hasn't been able to visit home since December 2013 and I was home this past November.

Ohhhhh I had been imagining you were stationed in Europe, because that's where I had been when I flew space A. Lol. Well, one of my friends moved from Italy to Hawaii and had no issues with her dogs being quarantined when they got there, so it's possible they wouldn't have to be. It's a matter of paperwork and having documentation from the vet and that. I completely understand though. I wouldn't want my fur babies quarantined either!

I can understand why you would maybe feel a little bad going home as well, but I honestly don't think you should feel guilty, but that's just me. I go home quite a bit more than my husband, but he also doesn't really care to as much as I do. My husband is deploying, most likely before I deliver and I will be going home. It will be nice to have the help and support, as I'm sure it would be for you as well. If you think you might want to, just talk to your husband. Chances are he would be supportive of it and understand why you want to.

kmd91 · July 2015

rbradshaw77 said:

VexedMommy said:
Is your DH going to be deployed with his group? @rbradshaw77 I believe is a military wife who gave birth while overseas. I'm not sure where you're stationed (and not asking for that info Stranger Danger Warnings and all that jazz) but she might be able to give you some insight into what's available for army wives on base and separated from their families.
@kmd91 If you're on Facebook, you can type in your army base + mom group or play date and there is sure to be at least one group (probably way more). Also, call your MWR, they usually have access to the info for local mom meet ups and play dates. The army hospital will also hold birthing classes where you can meet other wives due around the same time as you.

As for the one car situation, DH and I are going on 4 years with 1 car. Depending on where you're stationed and for how long, I highly recommend learning the local transport. It's a great way to get some independence. DH and I have worked out a rotating schedule for car use. On days when he has late ins or no PT, I try to take him to work and have a buddy drop him off so that I can run my errands or meet up with friends. I've found that if you make friends with other army wives, car pulling will be an option because there are tons of wives in the same situation as you, hoping for some friends!

Last tip: Even if you're there only a few months, other military wives are a great resource to have. I stay in touch with a lot of women so that if we have to relocate I have the possibility of meeting up with them again or at least getting some advice on the area.

I've added what I can find on facebook, but it seems to be oddly sparse here. I think I'll post on one of the pages, though, and see if anyone can point me in the right direction as far as specific suggestions for here.

And I will admit I could certainly make use of the local transportation, but I'm such a chicken and the area right around post isn't really the nicest area, so it makes me pretty nervous. I do think that my husband and I need to work on sorting out better sharing of the vehicle, though. We even bought him a bike he said he would ride to work so I could keep the jeep as long as it wasn't raining. He rode it a grand total of zero times.

And I really do want to build up on military wife friends, because I know that it'll be so beneficial to me. I really just need to break out of my shell and make it happen, and I guess this is my kick to make it happen.

kmd91 · July 2015

KeHill08 said:

kmd91 said:

KeHill08 said:

kmd91 said:

MargaretC5 said:
I think all the PP have great ideas. One other thought, maybe it would be a good time to visit family. Babies that young sleep a lot so traveling is not that bad.
I have a friend who's husband is in the military and every time he is deployed she plays a trip home to see family and catch up with friends.
Yeah, that's a great idea. And I have definitely thought about it, especially since my dad is already talking about coming out and knowing him he would be more than willing to cover the cost of my flight home so I could see everyone rather than just him coming out. My one big concern though is my dogs. I know I'm totally a paranoid pet owner, but the people I would trust to watch them while I would be gone would also be away at that time. It's definitely something to consider, even if a 10 hour flight with the baby does intimidate me, haha.
Just a thought, but you could maybe take a space A flight back. It takes a bit longer but it costs soooo much less! You can also have your dogs fly although I'm not sure how much it costs for them, and if you have a layover you can typically take your dog outside and walk them and let them go to the bathroom. Then you wouldn't have to worry about finding someone to watch them.
Yeah, that thought has crossed my mind, and I've looked into space A a little bit, because the savings would be amazing. I'm not totally knowledgable on how that works, but it would definitely be worth considering. Though, the dogs may not be an option with Hawaii's crazy quarantine policies and such. I'd definitely want to research the specifics of a Hawaiian pet traveling outside of Hawaii and returning to make sure I didn't run into any hiccups.

I'd probably feel really guilty going home, too, though. Just because my husband hasn't been able to visit home since December 2013 and I was home this past November.
Ohhhhh I had been imagining you were stationed in Europe, because that's where I had been when I flew space A. Lol. Well, one of my friends moved from Italy to Hawaii and had no issues with her dogs being quarantined when they got there, so it's possible they wouldn't have to be. It's a matter of paperwork and having documentation from the vet and that. I completely understand though. I wouldn't want my fur babies quarantined either!

I can understand why you would maybe feel a little bad going home as well, but I honestly don't think you should feel guilty, but that's just me. I go home quite a bit more than my husband, but he also doesn't really care to as much as I do. My husband is deploying, most likely before I deliver and I will be going home. It will be nice to have the help and support, as I'm sure it would be for you as well. If you think you might want to, just talk to your husband. Chances are he would be supportive of it and understand why you want to.

Yeah, if I recall correctly, Italy is also rabies free, so bringing a pet from Italy would be relatively easy. I unfortunately had to give my dog I had on the mainland to my best friend because the process to get them cleared is about a 4 month minimum and can get costly, otherwise they end up having to be quarantined in a pretty bad facility. So I decided she would be better off with my friend, since my friend wanted her anyways. But I would never want to accidentally run into any issues with that.

And I totally know what you mean. I guess I'm just a really guilty person. And I know my husband really wants to go home, but we've been trying to avoid spending the money. I'm sure that he would totally understand though

rox7777 · July 2015

@kmd91 Public transportation was so scary for me the first few times. I had never even been on a bus in the states, but I had to figure out buses, trains and taxis while I was in Korea. Don't be scared to get lost and you can always call the local stations or ask the bus driver to point you in the right direction. It's really not horrible once you get the hang of it, even with a baby.

I know the areas around post can be shady, we had the ville in Korea where a lot of questionable shit happened, but I wouldn't let that be your only reason for not doing it.

The MWR will also have suggestions as far ways to connect with other wives. If not, find some wives in your husband's company and get the local gossip. A lot of the groups might be secret or even private.

KeHill08 · July 2015

@kmd91 maybe that's why it was so easy for us to get our cat here. She was born in Italy so she wouldn't have been exposed. I left my dog with my parents since I was only there a year so I never had to deal with getting a pet over there. I'm sorry you had to give yours up :-(

Public transportation can be a bit scary. My first time riding a public bus was in Italy and it was by myself and I don't think I had a cell phone there yet when I did that. I was nervous the whole time lol! It really isn't that bad after you do it a few times though. It's definitely something to consider because yeah, the whole sharing one vehicle thing doesn't really work as well as one would hope. My husband's idea of sharing was I could take him to work once in a while so I could have the jeep. Taking the bus turned out to be easier!

Just another thought... I made a few friends at the marriage retreat we went to. It's kind of a nice thing to do with your husband, and you could end up making friends with some of the other wives. Otherwise I've seen some post about making friends and that on the wives page!

kmd91 · July 2015

You ladies are so right, though. I know public transportation could definitely really help me out to get out of the house, even if it freaks me out a bit. I'm sure that once I got used to it I could totally get used to it. I should look into that before baby comes so that I can hopefully feel a bit more confident in it, so it's not stressed out me bringing baby along and trying to figure it out for the first time haha.

And you're definitely right about secret groups, cause I know that there are a few I've heard talked about, but totally couldn't find. And I'm also kinda sad that the biggest wives page here no longer has an admin approving new members, so I can't even join that.

And I was sad to give my dog up, but I get pictures and videos of her all the time, and she is totally loving her life. She's like bffs with my friends 1 and a half year old nephew, and it's too cute. So I know she's totally happy and I've come to terms with it.

And marriage retreat is also a really good suggestion. I've been thinking it would be nice to go to one sometime. My husband mentioned one a while back, but it was at a really inconvenient time for us so we didn't go. But we could really use some couple friends, because basically all his friends are single, so it tends to just be me and a bunch of dudes. And there's just something different about having female interaction!

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