SO and I have been together for 13 yrs but aren't married ( we're both 27). We decided to ttc and became pregnant very quickly. When we announced to our families, the responses were much happiness and mostly "it's about time!!" Both of our dads asked if it was planned lol! Funny how it was only our dads that asked! I wasn't offended because they were both so happy and I believe they just wanted to know.. Makes their kids look grown up and mature
If someone says this to me I will be PISSED and can't promise not to rip their head off. My husband and I tried for almost 2 years. We are also on the younger side (27) and it just didn't happen. We stopped "trying" and I got pregnant shortly after. That question would strike a nerve with me no matter the situation, though.
I've been asked this before and it doesn't offend me. I can see how someone would take offence to it. I just think that people get so excited about babies, even strangers, everyone has questions, some because they've been in your situation, some because they are contemplating their own lives, some because they are just curious and want to talk to you. It doesn't bother me.
Yeah I don't know why people ask this, I feel like they're asking "did you even want the baby?". I hate all the negative comments and you don't know what you're getting into comments, but I'm good at ignoring people so it's ok.
Wouldn't bother me personally, but I could see how some would be offended (particularly depending on who was asking). Mine was not planned but very much exciting!
I was asked this twice, blows me away! None of your bussiness! And I've been married for 2 and a half years, so what would your logical conclusion be?! I find it really rude!
It's a bit rude, but I genuinely don't think people mean it to be. I think the question is often just their way of asking how YOU are feeling about it, without being rude enough to ask that.
I'm guilty of asking ladies prior to my own pregnancy. Now I realize how odd of a question it really is Since people have been asking me. I won't ask anymore lol!
We have a 15 month old already (planned) and this one was a total surprise (no seriously.. I'm in the 1% thats not mentioned on the condom box! TMI sorry but still in shock I think!) I have been asked SO many times if it was planned, and I think it's so rude. None of your business! I've resorted to saying a very simple "no" and looking directly at them waiting for the next response. Wow it makes people squirm!!! No one actually expects you to say no!! They have no clue what to say next. I find it hilarious as yes ok it wasn't planned but who cares! You can't plan everything in life, half the fun is the unexpected!
Ah, well I'm in a very 'fortunate' position in relation to these particular questions...so here goes: 1) no I'm not married as it's illegal to marry my partner here in Australia. 2) um yep, it sure was planned...it would be kinda difficult for us to get preggas accidently if you know what I mean?! (Although Mary did it?) And 3) yep, I reckon we can "handle it"...standing up to discrimination and judgement our whole lives has hopefully toughened us up good 'n proper for parenting?! So yeah, those questions all no brainers for me! The question I personally get daily is..."whoa, HOW did you do it?" and once I reply, I get comments about turkey basters etc. This is awesome...absolutely love people thinking about my intimate life and commenting on how we conceived. Never awkward at all. Cough ;p
Well I haven't officially announced on social media yet - I'm waiting until after the 12W scan on Thursday - can't come soon enough! But to the few people I have told I've had the "oh dear, was it planned" as the most common response - to which I've replied simply with the truth "No, but we are getting used to the idea now" (this will be our 4th and our youngest is 13 months - 19 months when baby arrives). But then people go on to ask " so it was an accident then" to which I say "yes - bit of a shock but we are excited now". But the worst part is they then go on to say "so what happened then were you on the pill?, did a condom break? Where you just stupid and not use anything? How did it happen?" WTF - totally inappropriate - my only response so far is "I'm not going in to the details but I was a genuine mistake and was only the once". That tends to shut them up but still WTF who asks that question?????FYO it was hubby and my one drunkun moment - I can't use condoms as I'm allergic to latex, I can't do the pill as the hormones don't agree with me - most other forms of contraceptives have hormones in. So ok I might get hounded for this.... We have used the withdrawal method for years and years in between having kids with no accidents. Hubby admitted at time of conception that he thought he'd messed up a bit (TMI) but as he's my hubby and we've not been caught out before and I can't do the pill we thought we'd leave it. Turns out we got caught out! It was just the once! My friend suggested I should say "no it wasn't planned but miracles happen" I will definatelty use that next time I'm asked. Finally the other question I got asked with the last baby (who was planned but 7 & 1/2 year age gap between siblings) is "oh is it the same father?" Wtf? I think if I get asked this again ill smile and say "no my milkman is super hot! Shh don't tell anyone!" Lol. Good luck with the arseholes out there ladies xxxx
@Bisho people are so rudely dumb! Way to stay strong having to hear that junk.
I was a teenager with my first. It still annoys me when people ask me questions like "were your parents mad?" Now I'm 35, engaged and we totally planned to have this baby. And people still ask me the dumb question "was it planned?" Even my dad asked "does he want it as much as you?" Omg, infuriating! Bottom line is that people ask these things when they are insecure and ignorant of their own desires and fears. Asking these questions says more about their lives then it does about ours.
I've had quite a few people ask me this but it doesn't seem rude to me. Ours was a surprise and I don't mind telling people that when they ask. It doesn't mean we want him/her any less.
The one that gets me is "are you excited/are you happy about having a baby?" This might just be a 'what else do I say' type question, but it always rubs me the wrong way. It seems that by asking that question, the asker is implying that I shouldn't be or might not be - or maybe they are just digging for gossip.
I got this a lot with my angel baby, I've been married for almost 11 months and was only 19 when we decided to have a baby. Lots of people asked if it was planned. Yes it was! After we lost my angel baby we tried again right away and I am now 12+3 with my rainbow people assume this one was planned thankfully.
I'm 19 so I completely expect people to ask "was it planned" but I still find it rude in any situation. Why not just tell the person congratulations and then move on. I feel it's personal and really doesn't matter. It also doesn't sit well with me because I've had two miscarriages and it's usually strangers who feel the need to ask.
I get it all the time. We got married in February and were pregnant in April. We were planning on officially trying at the end of the summer but we werent being careful either. We knew what that outcome could be. I hateee when people ask if it was planned because even though it wasnt really, it also kind of was. I never know what to say. I also hate when people say "that was fast!" Yes it was but we have been together ten years, since high school. We wanted kids right away. And I hate when people say "oh I didnt know you were trying". Sorry let me put it on my facebook next time so you're aware.
Re: Has anyone asked you this inappropriate question?
Oooooooohhh
I have been asked SO many times if it was planned, and I think it's so rude. None of your business! I've resorted to saying a very simple "no" and looking directly at them waiting for the next response. Wow it makes people squirm!!! No one actually expects you to say no!! They have no clue what to say next. I find it hilarious as yes ok it wasn't planned but who cares! You can't plan everything in life, half the fun is the unexpected!
Good luck with the arseholes out there ladies
I was a teenager with my first. It still annoys me when people ask me questions like "were your parents mad?"
Now I'm 35, engaged and we totally planned to have this baby. And people still ask me the dumb question "was it planned?" Even my dad asked "does he want it as much as you?" Omg, infuriating!
Bottom line is that people ask these things when they are insecure and ignorant of their own desires and fears. Asking these questions says more about their lives then it does about ours.
Go ahead and fuck yourself, rude ass people.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephaniemcneal/twinning#.bj7yBO8nV
I have dumbass friends asking me whether it was planned on whatsapp group chats !!
I don't quite know how to tell them it's inappropriate and indecent to ask this question without sounding like a hormonal freak !!