We are team green but if we were going to find out the gender I would either not tell anyone or announce it at the shower. I don't think it's manipulative or tacky to do that. People want to give you things that you want and need for your baby! A baby girl doesn't NEED pink everything and vice versa for a boy. And then you have less to buy for subsequent children of different genders. And sure you could return things, but that takes a lot of time and it could hurt some people's feelings if they notice or find out somehow.
I think announcing at your shower will be very fun for your shower guests; especially if they don't know that an announcement is even coming. Congratulations on your baby and have a blast at your shower/announcement party! (:
Buying something for someone else's child that goes against the parents wishes and is only what you want to buy them is very rude and disrespectful.
I disagree. I think telling people what to buy for you is rude and disrespectful. A registry is a list of suggestions. No one is required to go off of it. If I am spending my own money on you, I'm buying what I want. I'm not saying I'm going to go out and buy your kid a gun, but if you are having a boy, and I buy him a blue onesie, even though you specified gender neutral items, are you going to think of me as rude for buying it? Most likely not. You should be grateful of all gifts you receive. You are always welcome to exchange or donate it. People put way too much importance on what gifts they will receive.
As a gift giver isn't the point to gift something the receiver would actually want? If not what's the point of giving a gift at all? I love buying baby shower gifts for people I love and if I knew they were in need of something specific I want to get that for them because I know it will be appreciated and put to good use.
You could also apply your thinking to any gift registry because those technically are the "right" gifts that the mother wants. Your argument doesn't make much sense.
A registry is simply a list of things the parents to be plan on buying. If anyone needs a suggestion on what to buy. It's by no means a mandate or requirement that anyone shop from a registry.
I think the original post was warning people you may not see the gender at 20 weeks, which is actually really helpful. I think revealing gender at the shower is smart and cute, but one idea might be to wait for you and your spouse to know until then also. We had friends who did this and it was really cute. First of all, you avoid the extra party. Second, you can get more gender neutral things. Third, everyone still gets to see you find out. Win win win! However, I agree with previous posters as well that isn't the point of buying someone a gift getting them something they will like? The point isn't getting them something you want them to have, but they don't like or want. And the "oh they can just return it" thing is fine for a bridal shower, but I've always said (for other mom's showers) that saying oh she can just return it is kind of ridiculous - she is way pregnant! Trying to return a bunch of stuff when you're practically due does not sound fun. (Again, all of this is from a perspective of watching other people have babies, not of my own baby).
@anorthro Your idea sounds cool. If I hadn't already shared the sex of my LO with my family and friends who had ALL been asking, I would've asked for my mom and my aunt (who are supposed to be throwing my shower this fall) to just have the cake ordered from a specific baker (we know her personally) , and then I'd ask her to add the reveal stuff in there or I'd do something more creative. It's fun, it would be different because a lot of people I know just do a more gendered theme of like minnie mouse or ninja turtles and so on. Also, you already made your registry with what you would like....if it was gender neutral to begin with, there was no manipulation. If you made it gender neutral to maintain secrecy for fun SO WHAT?! Please don't let some of the opinions that were rude, change your mind in any way. Have a great shower and pregnancy and enjoy.
@BooBerry137 I personally think you are very rude. Just because it isn't something you are doing or think is right doesn't mean you have to bash others on what they are doing. We had a gender reveal and already knew the sex and I wouldn't have traded it for anything. It was so much fun and had everyone come together and spend the day together. And not revealing the sex until the Baby shower is not "manipulative". I think it's fun and adds a little surprise to the shower. Not everything done has a second agenda. That's what's wrong with this country, people always trying to find something to gripe about.
@BooBerry137 I personally think you are very rude. Just because it isn't something you are doing or think is right doesn't mean you have to bash others on what they are doing. We had a gender reveal and already knew the sex and I wouldn't have traded it for anything. It was so much fun and had everyone come together and spend the day together. And not revealing the sex until the Baby shower is not "manipulative". I think it's fun and adds a little surprise to the shower. Not everything done has a second agenda. That's what's wrong with this country, people always trying to find something to gripe about.
So uh, the user you have tagged has since been 'banned' since this thread was initially active.
So like, yer wastin' yer breath.
Edited: Because words are hard when you have newly chubby fingers.
When I did our reveal party my SO and I had NO IDEA. No one at the party knew! the party was a hit! Filled with friends and fam who were so excited for us to be having a baby. I gave the results from our ultrasound to the bakery and they handled it from there. It was a good time!
Gah if she would have started a new thread, y'all would have told her there was one about it three months ago lol maybe she just wanted to talk about a gender reveal
Im seriously dying of laughter with the gifs. I'm still trying to understand how people who comment on this don't realize this post is 3 months old!! But those of who do realize definitely understand the humor in those gifs :')
Gah if she would have started a new thread, y'all would have told her there was one about it three months ago lol maybe she just wanted to talk about a gender reveal
^^^ This!!!! Right! If she would have started a new one the Thread Monitors would have chewed her a new one!
No one forces anyone to come to a gender party just like no one forces people to go to a shower. If you don't agree with it, don't go. Lots of people other than the grandparents want to know the sex. I had co workers nag me for days to find out. And what does it matter if the parents know? Not everyone does a cake. I saw a video of triples and they did balloon boxes. Who was going to fill the gaint balloon boxes? Party City? Doubtful. Therefore someone needs to know.
We did one and our family was really excited. It was just an extra way to celebrate a new family member regardless of the sex but an excuse to eat cake! We told everyone to not buy anything. Plus we saved money and make the cake ourselves. How was I not suppose to know the gender then? I guess I wasn't allowed to have the reveal because I wanted to make the cake myself.
As for the gender reveal at a baby shower- I get what people are saying but it doesn't bother me. Either way you're 'having' to buy a gift so what difference does it make? No matter what you say or ask for, you're manipulating your guests. You're telling them there's a registry, you're asking for boy/girl/neutral, you're requesting a book instead of a card, you're telling them not to bring gifts. All of those are telling your guests what to do but that's how it works!
Re: dont plan 'reveal' party ahead of time (based on scan results)
So like, yer wastin' yer breath.
Edited: Because words are hard when you have newly chubby fingers.
I can't help myself...
lol I can't stop laughing today! smh.
We did one and our family was really excited. It was just an extra way to celebrate a new family member regardless of the sex but an excuse to eat cake! We told everyone to not buy anything. Plus we saved money and make the cake ourselves. How was I not suppose to know the gender then? I guess I wasn't allowed to have the reveal because I wanted to make the cake myself.
As for the gender reveal at a baby shower- I get what people are saying but it doesn't bother me. Either way you're 'having' to buy a gift so what difference does it make? No matter what you say or ask for, you're manipulating your guests. You're telling them there's a registry, you're asking for boy/girl/neutral, you're requesting a book instead of a card, you're telling them not to bring gifts. All of those are telling your guests what to do but that's how it works!