May 2015 Moms

STMs+ do you always feel like you're neglecting someone?

As a follow up to my first post this morning, as a stm I always feel torn in different directions. I'm sure it will get harder before it gets easier as we haven't even started crawling and beyond yet!

I'm having trouble always feeling like I'm neglecting someone. If baby is eating then ds1 needs to figure out stuff a little more for himself. If ds1 is having a meltdown, I have to put baby down (which at this point, I think he's allergic to) and let him fuss it out in protest. And poor dh, by the time he gets home I have touch and need overload and conversation is rushed as well as the deed.

Everyone always wants something you know? ! And the last person on the list is usually me. How do you manage without always feeling guilty? There were two nights in a row where I didn't get to spend much time with ds1 and our normal bedtime hugs and kisses because baby was a fuss monster and by the time I got him down, DS1 was asleep. I cried like a baby...

Re: STMs+ do you always feel like you're neglecting someone?

  • erin79erin79 member
    Yes, definitely. I've had a couple breakdowns about it, just crying because I feel guilty about not getting to spend time with my older son. I really miss when it was just the 3 of us, and I could really focus on him.

    HOWEVER, then I'll have some time with him while my daughter is sleeping, and I'm just too exhausted to really play with him like I used to, and I'm thinking about the million other things I could be doing around the house, and my patience level with him is super low because he's just at that age where he is pushing his limits and whining about everything, and I just want to be alone!

    So . . . that's my mixed bag of emotions.
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  • erin79 said:

    Yes, definitely. I've had a couple breakdowns about it, just crying because I feel guilty about not getting to spend time with my older son. I really miss when it was just the 3 of us, and I could really focus on him.

    HOWEVER, then I'll have some time with him while my daughter is sleeping, and I'm just too exhausted to really play with him like I used to, and I'm thinking about the million other things I could be doing around the house, and my patience level with him is super low because he's just at that age where he is pushing his limits and whining about everything, and I just want to be alone!

    So . . . that's my mixed bag of emotions.

    This exactly. It certainly isnt easy
  • Ugh exactly, one minute I'm upset and short tempered because he's being a 3 year old (like today when he strung out nearly a whole roll of toilet paper through the house) and the next I'm crying and feeling awful because I miss our one on one relationship...and then I feel awful because I'm thinking this way with DS2 in the room!!
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