Need advice on a socially awkward situation

nakoppel · July 2015

So we've had a few friends ask if they could visit us in the hospital (after me and baby are post partum). We've said sure because we don't mind visitors. However, we recently found out one of our friends (who asked if she could visit) has never had a vaccine in her life. Now I'm sure there are some mama's on here who don't believe in or don't want to vaccinate their children and im not trying to bash or offend. But it is something that is important to my husband and I. I asked my doctor about it and he said he would absolutely not take the risk. My question is how do I polietly tell her she won't be able to visit us in the hospital or possibly at all for the first month? Obviously I won't bring it up if she doesn't bring it up again but her boyfriend and my husband are very close so I would imagine it will come up. She's a lovely girl and I really like her but I just truly feel it's a risk to my baby's health.

hclzmm14 · July 2015

The health and life of your baby are far more important than an awkward situation. I would tell her that you feel it's best for your baby's health to not see unvaccinated visitors until she is 2 months old and has received some level of protection. I am sure she will understand.

ChanelLovesB · July 2015

I'd blame it on the doctor and tell her he said its best to not risk it and you're requesting all visitors have the vaccine or not visit. Blaming the doctor is easy and can't be argued.
Plus it's your kid. She'll either deal or she'll deal. No other option.

nakoppel · July 2015

ChanelLovesB said:

I'd blame it on the doctor and tell her he said its best to not risk it and you're requesting all visitors have the vaccine or not visit. Blaming the doctor is easy and can't be argued. Plus it's your kid. She'll either deal or she'll deal. No other option.

I think I will blame it on the doctor. I don't think she'll me mad at me (she's not like that) I think she'll just be sad. @cllgarrison I agree it's more important than an awkward situation I just don't like hurting people's feelings and I know she'll feel sad.

Wering · July 2015

@nakoppel - hopefully she understands. I think I would probably make the same decision. We can't force anyone to get a vaccine - but we can keep our babies away from them while they're not protected. Maybe to make her feel better, you could arrange to FaceTime/Skype from the hospital so that she gets a feel for the new baby?

CaliforniaDream87 · July 2015

cllgarrison said:
The health and life of your baby are far more important than an awkward situation. I would tell her that you feel it's best for your baby's health to not see unvaccinated visitors until she is 2 months old and has received some level of protection. I am sure she will understand.

Agreed.

nakoppel · July 2015

@Wering i like the FaceTime idea! I think if she's really sad I may bring that up

breezymeema7 · July 2015

Ya, I'd feel awkward too. But in the end, baby's health is most important. If she is truly as good of a friend as you think she is, she'll understand.

lifesabeach85 · July 2015

I really have trouble understanding when people feel awkward or impolite about protecting their babies.

If you wouldn't let your parents/friends/in laws/nanny put your baby to sleep on their stomach with blankets (approved of 25 years ago), put them in a forward facing car seat or none at all, give them toys with small parts, or do anything else no longer recommended as safe by doctors, why would you let unvaccinated or not up-to-date vaccinated people care for your baby?

nakoppel · July 2015

lbeach5885 said:

I really have trouble understanding when people feel awkward or impolite about protecting their babies. If you wouldn't let your parents/friends/in laws/nanny put your baby to sleep on their stomach with blankets (approved of 25 years ago), put them in a forward facing car seat or none at all, give them toys with small parts, or do anything else no longer recommended as safe by doctors, why would you let unvaccinated or not up-to-date vaccinated people care for your baby?

I'm not saying I'm going to let her around the baby, I'm saying I want to phrase it correctly so she's not offended. I Don't feel alward about protected my baby I just don't like hurting people's feelings.

runner636 · July 2015

She shouldn't even be in a hospital, let alone in a mother/baby Ward. It's not just your baby she'll be around if she shows up at the hospital. Your baby still isn't vaccinated for pertussis, measles, mumps, rubella, Hib, polio, etc... I wouldn't let this girl around my infant until she's had the MMR vaccine at 12 months. I just have no patience for people like that.

nakoppel · July 2015

runner636 said:

She shouldn't even be in a hospital, let alone in a mother/baby Ward. It's not just your baby she'll be around if she shows up at the hospital. Your baby still isn't vaccinated for pertussis, measles, mumps, rubella, Hib, polio, etc... I wouldn't let this girl around my infant until she's had the MMR vaccine at 12 months. I just have no patience for people like that.

^this is actually a great point about the other children as well

johannaspisak · July 2015

Yeah, I've got no problem with people making personal health choices, but when their choice of being a walking petri dish effects everyone around them, then the least of my concerns is awkwardness.

mriee · July 2015

I'm going to have a similar issue in the future as a lady in my birth class seems to be really anti vaxx. I'm going to blame it on the doctor too I think. Though what I really want to say is get away from me you crazy person why arnt you protecting your child [-X

Want a personalized experience?

Need advice on a socially awkward situation

Re: Need advice on a socially awkward situation

Choose Another Board

Search Boards